Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story
by kiokukaiba
Summary: A new project has been announced, bringing Jounouchi and Seto to live together for two weeks. Their goal? To write biographies of each other. This is the sister story to Behind Blue Eyes. JounouchiXSeto.
1. The Day Before

"_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story"**_

* * *

Ah yes, the beginning of the mirror story to explain the original. This is guaranteed to have more angst and drama than the other for the soul reason that we are dealing with Seto's thoughts and not Jou's. Though the storyline and interactions will be exactly the same, it will flow like it's own story. I hope that you all enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. . . but don't you wish that I did?

**Warnings: **Extreme language and angst.

* * *

The bell rang loudly, piercing the air, soon followed by the sound of students' feet rapidly pounding the ground as they ran to their classes in an attempt not to be late. Doors shut, silencing the previously busy hallway. The unfortunate students that were locked out sluggishly made their way to detention.

Jounouchi Katsuya, Motou Yuugi, Masaki Anzu, Honda Hiroto, and Bakura Ryou all sat in a clump in their classroom, talking about what they had planned for the upcoming weekend, which began tomorrow. Other students also sat in small clusters or in pairs. There was only one teen who sat all alone in the back of the room, only occasionally surrounded by a group of die-hard fangirls. This loner was the rich and powerful CEO of Kaiba Corporation, Kaiba Seto. He was reading a novel, just like he always was.

So now that you've got a pretty good idea of what is going on, let me introduce myself. My name is Kaiba Seto; Welcome to my world. Let me tell you right now, it sucks, and Jounouchi has nothing better to do then add even more annoyance to my living Hell. The mutt needs a serious personality adjustment, but whatever, he isn't important. Where was I? Ah, yes.

Jounouchi and his gang of friendship freaks were all huddled together giggling like little schoolgirls about this and that, probably planning one of those pathetic get-togethers like they always did. They were pathetic, having sleep overs and parties all the time. Then again, who cared? Certainly not I.

Our teacher, Ms. Asuka, cleared her throat loudly, hoping that we would take the hint and return to our seats so she could begin class. Much to her delight, the groups instantly began breaking up and each individual took his or her sweet time getting back to their assigned seat. Some of my peers allowed for a groan to escape their lips as they pulled out their books and propped their heads up on their hands. Jounouchi decided he was going to compete against the class and groaned louder than necessary, causing all of those immature little brats to start giggling. I glared in annoyance at the back of his head.

"Now, now," Ms. Asuka began, "There's no need for that. I have a strong feeling that you all are going to be very excited about what we are going to do today!" She plastered a large grin on her face.

Again, everyone groaned dramatically. Every time she told us we were going to enjoy class, she assigned either some stupid project or a lengthy research paper. I didn't really care either way, as I was skilled in both, but the rest of the teenagers fidgeted in their seats as though it were something worse than Hell.

"I'm assigning a new project!" She clasped her hands together, as though it were the most exciting thing in the world, and there was a loud _thud_ as the heads of many students were slammed down upon their desks. I was surprised to fined that Jounouchi was not among them. "Oh come on now! This is going to be a fun project! This one is always the favorite of my students!" The faces of a few students looked at their teacher with lazy eyes while the many others kept their faces buried in their desks. I remained indifferent.

"Ms. Asuka," The mutt called out, "You say that about **all** of our projects." I believe that it was more of a complaint than an observation, but she seemed to take it as the latter.

"You're right Jounouchi!" She chuckled, "I **do** say that about all of them, but this time I'm telling the truth!" I arched my right eyebrow a bit, starting to become slightly interested in what the woman had to say. Looking around, I saw heads rising from the desks. "I have randomly paired all of you up! Boys will be with boys and girls will be with girls!" This elicited a few frowns, but she continued, "The project will take place over a span of three weeks. The first week, you will both live together in one partners house, and the next week you will both live in the other partners house. The third week is where you need to work. You see, during the first two weeks, you need to get to know your partner very well so that you can write a ten page biography about them!" I sunk down in my seat while my peers muttered sounds of protest. "Trust me, you will all grow to like this project. Now then, let me tell you all who will be staying with who!"

A biography project. Could there be anything worse? Well, it's not like I would have to tell my partner the truth or anything. I could just tell them what they expected to hear. Yes, the wonderful life of Kaiba Seto. How lucky I was to be adopted by the richest man in the city. . . but what if I had a breakdown in front of them? How would I cover my ass then?

"Jounouchi Katsuya and Kaiba Seto!"

I snapped out of my daze after realizing that my name had just been called. So God really did hate me after all. There was no use in making a scene of it. I stood quickly and made my way toward his desk, just as the other students had done with their partners. He was looking around like a fool. He probably wasn't paying attention when our names were called. When he saw me standing next to him, however, his eyes locked onto me, trailing up and down my body as though he were sizing me up. . . and he didn't stop. He just stared.

"What are you gawking at?" I gave his eyes the best glare that I could muster. He seemed to register that I had spoke to him, but he continued his little round of staring at me, which was really starting to piss me off. I took a seat in the desk that was now empty beside him as I waited for an answer. "Answer my question mutt. I'm not in the mood for one of your mindless games." I folded my arms across my chest, tapping the fingers of my right hand onto my left arm to show my impatience.

"I-I'm just in shock that God would punish me by forcing me to live with the Devil's incarnate for three weeks!" Pfeh, the mutt was stuttering now. It was nice to know that I had such an intimidating effect on him. The Devil's incarnate? Yeah, that was pretty much me. I rolled my eyes to signal the end of the conversation and then faced the front of the room.

- - -

Chemistry class dragged on, just as it always does, with my professor spouting out things that I already knew. Then again, I knew most of the material that all of my classes were covering before they even began to cover it. However, the clock eventually ticked away those grueling minutes of boredom and rewarded my patience with the bell releasing everyone to lunch.

I sat at my usual place, in the far corner of the cafeteria by the doors that led outside. Usually I sat outside, but the wind appeared to be a bit strong and so I decided it would be best to seat myself as far away from those immature people called classmates as I possibly could.

Yeah, I was probably the most adored guy in the school, and I could sit with any group I wanted, but I really preferred to be alone. I had sat with a group of girls once. They just kept looking my way and giggling like air-heads, so I decided to make their day. It was ridiculous. They kept using any excuse to touch me. Then they wouldn't shut up with how 'hot' or how 'sexy' I was. If there was anything I hated hearing, it was how fuckable I was.

**He** never did that. . . **he** always called me beautiful. . . but **he** was gone now.

I sat my yogurt on the table and opened it, using the spoon I had swiped from the lunch counter to scoop up a bit of the creamy substance. Holding it up, I used my tongue to take in half of it and swallow, then proceeded to pick up my book. I had read this book about three times already. . . just as I had read all of my other books multiple times already. It really wasn't any good for me to have a personal library. I'd have to look into buying new ones.

As I pretended to read, I allowed my eyes to wander around the room, taking in the various happy faces and giddy groups around me. They were all so happy. Raised in normal households, with normal lives, normal friends, normal families. . . that's why I was so different. My life veered too far from 'normal'. Maybe that was it; or maybe I was just making excuses for myself again. Who else was I to blame? Myself of course. I didn't have to go through the hell that I went through.

A certain blonde mass caught my eyes. Jounouchi Katsuya, the biggest loudmouth in the school. I can't really say that Jounouchi is one of those normal kids, because anyone with the slightest bit of intelligence could see that he had some issues. . . which would be why Yuugi and the others didn't seem to notice. When it came to personal issues, I could see them a mile away.

I caught a glimpse of the midget nodding his head back in my direction, followed by Jounouchi apparently bitching the little one out. They were all looking at each other as though the mutt getting noisy was so uncommon. They were so interesting to observe. The little white-haired boy seemed to join in on the conversation after that, probably to shut Jounouchi up. I couldn't remember that kids name, but I think that he is the most intelligent of them all. . . and gay at that.

I could see the puppy slumping as his best friend Honda began conversing with the albino. I would have to deal with that stupid blonde for three whole weeks. Which reminded me that I had no clue which house we would be staying in for the first week. I think that we should stay in mine first. I'd like to delay my stay in his wretched 'home', if it could even be called that, for as long as possible.

I finished half of my yogurt and decided that I really wasn't hungry enough to devour the entire thing. . . I would regret that later. For the time being, I gathered my things and made my way towards the friendship table, as I had dubbed it.

The evil twins of the table glanced my way and began to bicker. I would never admit it out loud, but those two really gave me the creeps. . . evil twins didn't just appear like they both did; however, I still refused to believe that they came out of those gaudy pendants.

As I came up on them, Jounouchi and Honda had latched onto the one that they called 'Yami no Yuugi' or sometimes just 'Yami'. That's when Jounouchi began to stare again. His brown eyes didn't close even once as he looked me up and down, soon stopping to focus on my face.

I decided to be completely forward, "Jounouchi, bring only clothes, a toothbrush, and your school books, you know, the necessities. The rest will be provided for you." I folded my arms. The blonde didn't even seem to notice I was talking to him. He just looked at me blankly, his eyes trailing up and down my body. That was really starting to make me uncomfortable.

Well, there was always **one** way to get his attention, "Dammit mutt! Listen to me when I'm talking to you!" I kept my voice as only an angry whisper, so as not to draw unwanted attention to myself, but the emotion in it was enough to make him raise his eyebrows in a questioning manner.

I rolled my eyes in frustration at having to repeat myself, "What I said was, bring only clothes, a toothbrush, and your school books, you know, the necessities. The rest will be provided for you." I allowed for my eyes to drift about the room, already tired of looking at him.

All I got for my trouble was a simple "Okay" and one of his goofy smiles. Annoyed with him, I spun on my heels and walked away. I left the cafeteria to head for the library. Perhaps I would find a book to keep my interest for awhile.

- - -

Math class rolled around. This was the one class that I hadn't learned anything in at all, other than the fact that those around me were extremely puzzled by numbers and variables. How pathetic. I was learning these things when I was 14. I learned a lot when I was young. . . more than any fourteen year old would know.

I gazed around the room in my boredom, amusing myself with the completely lost looks on the faces of the imbeciles in the room. Speaking of imbeciles, a particular blonde was staring again. Either he dazed out a lot, or he found me extremely attractive. . . probably both. That's how everyone was; staring at me, catcalling to me. . .shit like that really pisses me off. **He** was never like that. Why did things have to go the way they did.

Even throughout my inward ranting, Jounouchi's eyes remained on me. Pulling out a piece of scrap paper, I scribbled down the words _'Hey mutt, what did I tell you about staring at me? Eyes off!'_ and proceeded to launch it at his head. It seemed to knock him out of whatever sort of daydream he was having, which was my goal. He started looking around the room all frantic-like. He was pretty fucking stupid if he hadn't seen me throw it when he was **staring right at me**. What a dumbass. He gave up on the search and picked it up, reading the note and realizing that it was me. I rolled my eyes at his ignorance and just faced the front of the room again, bored with his antics already.

Of course, this action was short lived, as I was soon pelted by a paper wad. I leaned down immediately to retrieve it, my eyes scanning the floor for the object. All the while, I could feel those golden eyes burning into my ass. . . actually, it felt like half the room was staring at me. Perverted fucks. The paper was nestled by the leg of my desk, and I snatched it up quickly to avoid giving any more free shows.

As I opened the note, I wasn't surprised in the least. I had expected the less-than-perfect handwriting that appeared to me as pathetic chicken scratch that even a child could put to shame. The message, however, did set me aback a bit. It read _'You better sleep with one eye open for throwin' that at my head, pretty-boy!'_. I must admit that I allowed for a small smile to escape my lips at the thought of Jounouchi threatening **me**. He knew full well that I was stronger, as I showed him back in Duelist Kingdom when he had tried to fight me. What can I say? I've been fighting grown men off for a large portion of my life. The thought made me nauseous.

My eyes wandered up to the clock, trying to keep my mind off of the memories that had just surfaced. A whole 'nother hour of this torture. Math really sucked. It was so boring, even my pen was beginning to look interesting. Oh yeah, ink, what fun. I really was losing it.

I slid down in my seat a bit, crossing my legs as best I could. They really didn't make desks for tall people like myself. Even I had to admit that my legs were strangely long. **He **loved my legs. I used to love when **he** would run his hands along them. I shook my head, shook thoughts of **him** away. There would never be a replacement. Things just didn't seem as wonderful as they had. The sky wasn't quite as blue, the grass not as green. . . making friends just didn't seem important anymore.

What was the saying? _"Life's a bitch and then you die, so fuck the world and let's get high."_ Yeah, something like that. I don't think I'll be getting high though. I have a company to run, and I don't think that pot is going to run it for me.

I tuned into the teacher for a moment. Yup, she was still babbling on about shit I already understood. I don't know why I don't just drop out; it's not like I need a diploma or anything. Then again, I suppose it would look bad if a high school drop-out were running Kaiba Corporation. Plus, it would ruin my reputation internationally.

I could feel eyes burning into me again. Turning slowly, I caught the golden-eyed blonde just blankly staring again. I shot him a glare, but he didn't seem to notice. A wild smirk crept to his lips, the kind of smirk you see on a murderers face in a movie right before he kills his victim. The kind of face a sick man makes before he rapes a helpless child. Again I turned away from Jounouchi. I was probably expressing the emotion of fear, and I certainly didn't want him, or anyone else for that matter, to see it. I turned and shot him another death glare for good measure.

The announcements started over the intercom after what seemed like years, signaling that there were only about five minutes left of class. Our teacher sat behind her desk, and the various students began to pack their belongings. I followed suite. The guys and girls around me were clumping up into groups again, leaving me singled out to write down my homework and pack away the remainder of my things. Not that I minded being alone. No, I didn't need friends or a social life or any of that ridiculous nonsense. I folded my arms impatiently and waited for the final bell.

When the bell rang, however, I didn't get up and run out like the others. I merely turned and faced Jounouchi, making sure to show him that I was pissed. It was a staring contest as we waited for our teacher to speak. The moment she did, that mutt opened his mouth to start his pathetic whining. I silenced him by simply raising up my hand. He shut up and stood, gathering his things.

"I don't want an explanation," I informed him, "If you try to pull any of those stunts at my house, I swear I will-"

"Let's go to my house for the first week. I'd like to delay my stay in Hell for as long as possible." His face looked innocent enough, but I wasn't so sure now.

"Fine, but the same rule applies. . . no funny stuff." I stood, retrieving my briefcase from the dirty school floor, "I'll be over at ten in the morning. I expect to come to a clean place and you'd better have an extra bed for me to sleep in. I refuse to sleep on a couch or the floor." I looked him up and down once more before taking my leave.

- - -

I could smell the rain coming as I stepped outside. Luckily I had my limousine waiting for me as I approached the curb. It was nice having my own personal chauffeur to pick me up and drop me off, wherever, whenever.

We would first stop at Domino Middle School to pick up Mokuba, then I would drop him off at our mansion and then the final destination would be, as usual, Kaiba Corporation. I swear, I was at work more than I was at home, and the sad puppy look on Mokuba's face always made me regret it. Mokuba was thirteen now, and I was always away from him. I always wondered if he secretly hated me. I certainly couldn't blame him if he did.

Mokuba was all that I had left now; he was everything. I worked for Mokuba, lived for Mokuba. . . and I would definitely die for Mokuba. He was practically my own child. I had raised him since he was very small, and I had been strict with him and tough on him, and I had even used him a few times to get my way. . . but I just had to hope that he knew I had done those things for him. I had done everything for him.

The rain began to pelt the roof of the car just as we approached the small, brick building. Mokuba came bounding up to the car, just as he always did, and slid into the seat next to me.

"Seto!" He squealed, giving me the suffocating hug that had became a ritual for him. "How was school today?" He grinned brightly. Mokuba's wild personality was such a sharp contrast to my own. . . and that was what I loved most about him. I flashed a smile that only his eyes were allowed to see, and proceeded to tell him of that dreadful project assignment. I purposely left out Jounouchi's awkward behavior. The last thing I needed was for a hormonal teenager to know.

"You got paired up with Jou? No way! That's so cool!" He leaned towards me in his seat, and I cocked a brow at him, "Well," He began, bowing his head a bit, "To **me** it's cool. It's gonna suck for you though!" He laughed playfully. "So you're going to his house tomorrow then? Where does he live?"

My mouth fell open and I turned my face toward the ceiling of the car, closing my eyes. This was a sure sign to Mokuba that I hadn't asked.

"You didn't even ask?" He sighed and shook his head, "And people call you a genius." Again he smiled at me, and I smiled back at him. I loved moments like that. Mokuba was the only person who would even keep me company. He seemed to appreciate me enough, and I love him dearly for it. He was my precious baby brother. . . even if he wasn't much of a baby anymore.

I watched out the window at the rain dousing the buildings that dotted the street. A blonde head caught my eye, and apparently Mokuba had seen him as well.

"Driver, stop! Seto, we should take him home and get him out of the rain to keep him from catching a cold!"

"Mokuba, do you really think I care?"

"Besides, you were dumb enough not to ask for directions to his house." He folded his arms and scrunched up his face, in a mannerism that I would have used. He had a point though, and so I ordered the driver to pull up next to him.

Jounouchi turned to look back at the car approaching and came to a standstill. I opened my door once my driver put the limousine in park, and opened my door. Mokuba pulled his head out to look at Jounouchi, "Come on in, Jou! You'll catch a cold if you stay out in the rain like that!"

The blonde smiled a bit, making a step toward the car, when he made a dead halt. Our eyes locked together and his own narrowed a bit, "No thanks, Mokuba. Besides, I don't think I'll be catching a cold this close to Summer." He then spun on his heels and shivered a bit.

"Get in the car, mutt." My tone was flat and at it's usual tenor. I could have sworn that I saw him shake again. He had turned around, but only stood there like a fool. "I said get your ass in the car." I felt like a parent talking to a stubborn child. I put my right leg out of the car, as a sort of warning that if he didn't get in, I would go after him. If it would make Mokuba happy, I would do anything. Anything for Mokuba.

"How 'bout you fuck off?" I was out of the car before I could register what was happening. How **dare** he say something like that in front of Mokuba! I pin him roughly against the wall. . .well, it was more like a giant glass window, but whatever.

My hands clenched his collar tightly, my blue eyes ablaze and my body seething with pure hatred, "Don't you ever say that kind of shit around my brother!"

"Sounds like you cuss around him all the time."

Was he trying to confuse me or something? "But I don't say fu-"

He covered my mouth with one of his filthy, wet hands and used to the other hand to point behind himself, "I don't think you want to ruin your reputation with the little guys." To my surprise, there were numerous sets of little eyes watching us. The Domino daycare. Just my luck. I flashed a quick smile at them.

I backed away from him, trying to regain my cool, "Get in the car, mutt." The rain began to come down harder, and so I did the only thing I could think to do. I grabbed him by the arm and shoved him next to Mokuba in the limousine, my arm brushing the blonde's as I slid in beside him and shut the door. I was soaked to the bone.

"Do you ever eat?" Jounouchi was looking me up and down. I rolled my eyes at his question and looked out the window. "Seriously Kaiba, you're really skinny. That's not very healthy, you know?" There were small sounds of protest from Mokuba, but Jounouchi seemed to ignore them.

"I have a high metabolism and I eat healthy." I sighed as I stared at him in a bored manner.

"Bullshit."

I ignored his little accusation, "I picked you up because Mokuba pointed out to me that I have no idea where you live. Rather than taking the time to just look your address up, Mokuba insisted that we just take you home. . . this way I can get a feel for the hell-hole I'm going to be living in for the next week, and my driver will already know where to take me tomorrow morning." It made sense really. It was convenient for me, and that was all that mattered. I wasn't into doing charity.

"There's nothing wrong with my apartment." He clenched his fists, but I knew he wasn't about to punch me in front of my brother, "I'm so terribly sorry that not everyone gets a luxurious life handed to them on a silver platter like you did!"

Had Mokuba not been there, I would have slapped that son-of-a-bitch. I was seething at him again, "You know **nothing** about me, my family, or my life!"

Jounouchi merely turned away. The remainder of the trip was quiet except for when that bastard blonde was spouting off directions to my driver. These next two weeks were going to be pure hell.

He sure lived in a shitty part of town, but that really didn't matter at the moment. I was so fucking tired. Perhaps this project would give me a chance to get some more sleep. . . that would be nice. . .

"We have arrived, master Kaiba." The car came to a gentle halt in front of Jounouchi's apartment complex. My door was opened by my obedient servant, and I began to climb out. Without warning, my surroundings began to spin, causing me to fall backwards onto. . . a person? It didn't really matter. "Master Kaiba!" My employee reached out his hand, but I slapped it away, shaking my head to try and wake myself up.

There was a slamming door, and the sound of feet. Mokuba was coming. . . he was such a sweet little brother. I could feel his hands on my cheeks and I let my eyes fall shut. "Seto?" He was such a good kid. "Seto, if you would stop working so late, this wouldn't happen." He was so bitchy sometimes though. I shook my head at him, and suddenly the 'pillow' I was currently resting on didn't feel quite so soft.

Mokuba giggled wildly, "Jou is enjoying you moving your head around on his crotch."

I leapt from my laying position, suddenly no longer tired, but completely disgusted. I straightened my uniform to try and pretend that such a situation had never occurred, "Alright Jounouchi, get out and go home. I'll be over at eight tomorrow morning." I turned around to glance at the building, "Which one are you in?"

"Third floor, left-hand side." He slid out and stood beside me.

I climbed back into the limousine along with Mokuba, "Well Jounouchi, we'll be taking our leave now."

"Wait Kaiba!" He leaned down, hands on the doorframe, "You'd better be prepared to tell me everything I want to know about you."

I could feel the fluid in my stomach churn at this. I may have shuddered, but I hoped to the gods that I didn't. I didn't want him to know anything, but how would he know if I was lying or not, right? Or maybe I would grow to trust him. . . I **did** need someone to vent to. . .

"Yes," I told him, my eyes coming to rest almost sorrowfully on his own, "and **you** will tell **me** everything that **I** wish to know." I smirked, and he stepped away from the car. He watched as the limousine pulled off and sped toward the Kaiba mansion.

Mokuba sighed loudly as we pulled onto our long driveway, "So you're going to work all night and then be gone for a week. . ." He eyes looked a bit glossed-over with sadness, "I hardly ever get to be with you." He always had that way of making me feel guilty.

As we came to the house, Mokuba opened his door and I grabbed his arm. "Mokuba, just let me go get the paperwork and I'll come home and spend time with you tonight, okay?" I flashed him the smile that I only showed him and he grinned back.

"Alright Seto! I'll be waiting for you! I'll pick out a video game! Woohoo!" He ran up the stairs and into the house, his excitement obvious to the world. My world.

- - -

Kaiba Corporation was bustling with flustered employees, who took time out of their busy schedule to give me my proper ass-kissing and greetings. I acknowledged them only with simple nods, stepping into the elevator where I was alone. It was a speedy trip to my office on the top floor. It was dark and so I flipped on the lights, not at all surprised when I saw the tower of papers on my desk in a tidy stack.

I sat down to collect them and place them in my briefcase. The room had bookcases on every wall. The books were all business related here. I kept the normal reading material in my personal library at home. So many books with their own little stories. . . How many books would it take to tell my life story? All of the ups and downs, twists and turns. . . my dreams and the ruin of them. How many times had my hopes been crushed? My mind was squeezed and twisted and molded into something that I didn't recognize anymore. . . I was changed into a tool for that bastard.

Now wasn't the time to think about that. I closed my briefcase and stepped out, shutting off the light as I did so. I had to get home and play games with my precious little brother. . . my life.

So I had to live with Jounouchi Katsuya for two whole weeks. . . I had no clue what destiny had in store for me. . .

* * *

Yay! Chapter one complete! I must say that writing this story is much more difficult than composing the original. . . probably because I have to match this one so that it mirrors the original. It is all the same dialogue, all the same scenes and all of the same actions. So you're probably thinking 'why bother?' why? Because in later chapters, this change in views with make the story seem completely different. This story is bound to be darker and you will all understand **why** Seto does the things he does. He won't seem so OOC once you read this. Review! Love ya! 


	2. Day One: Arrival

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

Ah yes, here it is! Chapter two of the companion story is now up! I hope you all like this story just as much as the original! Seeing things from Seto's POV is, in my opinion, like reading a brand new story! You get to learn what Seto is thinking, seeing, and even dreaming, whereas **_Behind Blue Eyes_** will never show anything about him other than assumptions.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yuugiou. Easy enough

**Remember:** This story is from **Seto's** point of view, and not Jounouchi's.

* * *

I awoke the next morning to that familiar sound; my alarm clock screeching at me to get my ass out of bed as though I had gotten sleep the night before. . . if you could call it night. I hadn't slept until after midnight, due to Mokuba's begging me to play video games for hours on end. I was great, but Mokuba was getting good. . . no way I was going to let him beat me, the master gamer. Then I had trudge off to bed, ready to fall asleep at any given moment. . . but not ready for what would await me when I did.

I had just recently started a new slew of medication, since the old medication had begun to get ineffective. With the change came unwanted results. My body was reverting back to how it was before I began medication; sudden attacks, flashbacks, feelings of hatred for myself (not that I ever went without such feelings), and then the worst thing of all: the nightmares.

Throughout my childhood in this mansion, I had nightmares each and every night, awaking in the morning only to find that I was more tired than before I had lay down to sleep. Life was tiring, sleep was tiring, work was tiring. . . could I not find refuge in anything?

This morning I wanted to get up even less than usual. Today marked the beginning of my two week sentence with Jounouchi Katsuya, the most ignorant teenage male in all of Domino. I wanted to shoot myself in the head just thinking about it. I was too tired for all of this shit. School was awful enough. I never rested, never ever felt self. Even when my medication was working properly, I still had the same nightmares; but real life was easier to cope with. The last thing I need was for that pathetic mutt to catch me in one of my little episodes, and that would be the end of me. I'd be the laughing joke of the school, and not to mention the press.

I sighed loud enough for only me to hear, dragging myself from the bed and towards my larger-than-necessary bathroom. My hand fumbled about for the faucet, both hands cupping under the cool water before lunging up towards my face to wash the sleep away. . . and that it did, just like ever morning. There was no way I would get used to icey-cold water hitting me right in the face just as I crawled from bed.

With my eyes wide open, and my hair still a wild mess, I stumbled downstairs and towards the kitchen, where there were sure to be a few of the early shift maids scrambling about. . . and surely enough, there they were, all dressed in uniform and ready to serve.

"Good morning, Mr. Kaiba!" They chimed in unison, their fake smiles and mask-like makeup was almost enough to make me hurl. Each of them looked just like the next. Such conformity was pathetic. Then again, those who become maids aren't likely to have enough sense to think to do things on their own, now are they?

I nodded to them, acknowledging their annoying greeting, the same greeting I received every morning. I crossed the kitchen and entered our main dining hall. The table was long enough to feed probably fifty people, which was completely unnecessary. The only time I had ever seen the thing full was when. . .

No, such things are in the past and don't matter anymore. The past doesn't matter. Always move ahead, that was my motto. Backtracking worked in video games, but not in life. Life just sucks.

The moment my ass hit the cushioned chair, a warm breakfasted was sat on the table before me. . . the same breakfast I ate every morning, and as always, in larger proportions than I could possibly eat. I needed a dog or something to eat the scraps.

The rest isn't really important. . . not that anything before that was or anything. I had gone back upstairs and changed into something that seemed comfortable; Black leather pants and a loose, white dress shirt unbuttoned at the top. I looked damn good. . . and I hated it, but it seemed that no matter what I chose, someone would always thing I was sexy. . . someone would always think I was _fuckable_.

**He** never looked at what I wore. . .**he** only saw **me**.

I slipped into Mokuba's room at around seven thirty, to find him still sound asleep. I leaned over him, planting a light, loving kiss on his forehead, soon followed by his little arms wrapping around my neck. Even though he was thirteen now, he still had the same habits as when he was a young child. I loved when he wrapped his arms around me. . . but it was the same as when **he** wrapped his arms around me. I would never find that same warmth.

"I'm going to Jounouchi's now, Mokuba. I'll try to keep in touch, but don't worry if I don't."

Mokuba attempted to wipe the sleep from his eyes, "Alright, Seto." He flashed me that adorable smile, the smile that kept me going, "Have fun, and try to get along with him, alright? I love you big brother." He returned the kiss on my forehead.

- - -

My driver remembered the path to the mutt's apartment complex and was able to take me there quickly. I could recall the directions he gave me, and headed straight up to his door, my bags in tow. Yes, I had managed to pack before I fell into bed last night.

I beat on the door repeatedly, and still nothing. I folded my arms and waited as I could hear the sound of a clumsy creature stumbling about within. Without warning, the door flung open and revealed Jounouchi. . . still clad in, what I assume to be, yesterday's school uniform.

He just stood there like a dolt, starting me up and down as though he had never seen me in his entire life. . . or maybe he had already forgotten about the project. . . that ignorant fuck.

"Why the hell do you always stare at me, you filthy mutt?" I made sure that he knew I was annoyed.

He raised his eyebrow at me, "You're dressed strange today."

Strange? How stupid of him; as though he had room to talk, "Oh? So do you always go to sleep in your uniform?" I put my right hand on the doorframe, my left hand placed lightly on my hip, and leaned forward to get close enough to stare him down like I did at school; but he seemed to have dazed out yet again, "Earth to Jounouchi!" This was getting more and more ridiculous by the second.

"Oh! Uh, what?" Instead of repeating myself, I simply allowed for my eyes to flicker down at his clothes. His amber eyes followed suite, "Oh yeah, I forgot to change last night." He looked back up at me, rubbing the back of his head with his right hand, fingers catching small tangles as they went. What a slob.

I rolled my eyes, using my hand to push myself from the wall and away from him. I folded my arms once more, "I honestly don't see how you could forget to change out of those filthy things." I scrunched my face up slightly, and then straightened it up again, "Anyways, I didn't feel like wearing a coat today. I wanted to be as comfortable as possible, besides. . ." I leaned close to him again and looked down into his eyes, "I don't need to try to impress someone like you." Which was true. I didn't need to impress anyone, especially not some low-class dork like him.

He grabbed the collar of my shirt, both hands clenching the thin cloth tightly in fists, and pulled me down to his level, which really wasn't so far from my own, "Don't you **ever** talk down to me like that again. I am **not** lower than you." He didn't yell, but he **did** sound a bit pissed off. I only smirked, my blue eyes narrowing to slits as they mocked him. He stared me dead in the eyes right back.

"Is that supposed to scare me, Jounouchi?" I sneered, moving even closer so that our noses were touching; I could feel him tense up at the contact and he released me soon after. I straightened up and adjusted my collar, running a hand through my hair quickly.

"Let's just go inside already," He was obviously irritated, "I'll give you a tour or something."

"A short tour it will be, I'm guessing." It was so easy to crack on him, it was like childsplay.

That's when he went fucking apeshit on me, "Would you shut the fuck up about where I fucking live! I'm sorry that I don't have all the fucking money that you have!" He stormed inside and I followed him at his heels. I shut the door behind myself and he spun on my heels quickly. I stopped just short of running into him. "Maybe if my daddy gave me a company, I'd be fucking rich too!"

_The children of East Domino High all gathered around me, the newest student. Their eyes were full of hatred, hatred for me. . . and jealousy. Who could be jealous of such a life? Their faces were blank. . . only eyes, hating eyes, judging eyes. . . jealousy, so thick I could cut it with a knife._

"_I wish I had money given to me like that."_

"_If I were adopted by a wealthy person, I would look good too."_

"_You're so lucky, and yet you're so depressed all the time! You don't have any excuse for that!"_

"_So many people would give anything to be in your place right now!"_

_Their voices were ringing in my ears, I couldn't take it. They didn't know me, they didn't know my step father. . . they didn't know what kind of hell I was going through! Stupid bastards! I rushed towards the one dead ahead of me and grasped at his neck, shoving him against the wall with my body. My breathing had become eradicated, as was usual when someone pissed me off enough. This child didn't know my pain, my suffering! I gazed into those dying eyes. . . dying amber eyes. . . oh. . ._

Jounouchi's face came into focus and I released him, turning to retrieve my bags that I had left just outside. I could hear him coughing and sputtering. . . that couldn't be good. . . perhaps he would let it go. . .

I returned shortly with my baggage in tow, "About that tour. . ." My expression remained blank. He gazed around the room for a bit, looking totally lost. . . and I let him. How could I possibly explain something like that? No, some things were best left unsaid.

"Uh, yeah. . ." He got to his feet in his usual clumsy manner, but stood straight nonetheless, and sighed, "Well," He motioned a hand to our surrounding room, "We're in the living room right now. . . and the kitchen is just over there," He pointed to an open doorway and my eyes followed. I nodded in recognition. No smart remarks this time. I was still trying to recover from my episode.

The room smelled horribly of cigarette smokes and shitty perfume. . . as well as some other scent that Jounouchi must have used to try and hide them. Just what kind of person was this blond? (AN: Is that the correct form of blond that I used?)

There was an odd air about the place as I followed him down the one lonesome hallway. He stopped at one of the doors, "This is my dad's room. Uh, don't go in there."

"Where is he?"

"Who?"

"Your father."

"Oh, he's. . . out of town for a week."

"And the rest of them?"

"Them?"

"Your family, moron. I know that you at least have a sister."

"My parents got a divorce when I was really little. My mom got my sister and my dad got me."

"Oh. . ." He seemed a bit touchy about it, so I let it go. I wasn't going to force him to say anything in hopes that he would be so considerate with me as well.

"Alright, so that door right there is the bathroom, and just across the hall. . . is my room, which is where one of us will be staying."

My eyes shot open and I grabbed his shoulder, turning him to face me, "What do you mean by that?"

"One of us will get the couch and one of us will get the bed." He stated, matter-of-factly.

"I get the bed."

"I don't think so. My apartment, my bed."

"I refuse to sleep on a fucking couch."

"I thought you didn't use that word."

"I don't use it around Mokuba. . . I'm still not sleeping on a couch."

"Then sleep on the floor."

"Absolutely not!"

He laughed, and I arched an eyebrow, confused at this, "Sorry, it's just that you are so pathetic!" He folded my arms in a mockery of what I had done when I first arrived.

"Excuse me?" **Me**? Seto Kaiba? Pathetic? I don't fucking think so.

"It's just that you think you are too good for such things when regular people do it all the time. . . actually, you could always sleep in the bed **with** me." He grinned and I'm sure that my brows knitted together, my face suddenly feeling a bit heated. That filthy, perverted fuck.

"With the way you've been acting these past couple of days? I think not."

"Oh, come on!" He persisted, "What do you think I'd do? Rape you?"

_Rape?_ I visibly shook.

"Woah, hey. . . what's wrong? Does the word 'rape' creep you out or something?"

That word again. . . that awful, horrible word. Without my control, my body forced my face to turn from him. . . in it's own defense of course. . . to hide my eyes that clenched tightly shut. I didn't want to think about this.

"You're so weird when you aren't in public!"

I breezed past him, luggage in tow, plopped onto his bed with a light bounce. . . the bed was very springy, you see, for Seto Kaiba certainly **never** bounces. . . and slung my bags to a corner of the room, "I think I'll stay here, and you can sleep on the couch." It was more of an order than anything.

"Listen Kaiba," He began, "You're on my turf now, and what I say goes. I have to live with your spoiled ass for two weeks, and I want to be in control for at least half of it!" He stood in front of me by this time, looking down into my eyes. "Unless you want to fight me for it." He added, looking overly confident, as usual.

I smiled at him and sneered, "A pathetic puppy could never beat a human."

"Too bad I'm not a puppy. . . ever seen how bad a dog can tear a person up?"

My eyes narrowed to slits, "Is that a threat?"

"What if it is?"

I sighed, closing my eyes and turning my head. I opened them again, gazing across the mutt's bed in an attempt to determine if it were truly safe, "It's a lot more spacious than I had first assumed."

"Big enough for two people to fit with a little space left over." A grin crept to his lips as I glared daggers at him, "Oh come on! We're both guys! Dude, I'm fucking straight."

"I don't believe we would fit comfortably." I tried to play it off. This was Jounouchi! Wasn't he all head-over-heels for that blonde bimbo, Kujaku Mai? Was that her name? Either way, he was a part of that group of friendship fuckheads, so he wouldn't try anything. I still wasn't comfortable about the situation, though.

"You're so thin, it'd be like there were only one and a half people in it." I rolled his eyes and he laughed, "Oh come on! Learn to take a joke rich-boy! You're skinny as hell. Did you even eat breakfa- oh yeah! I need some money."

"Excuse me?" I glanced up at him again. He was trying my patience. I waited for him to explain his request for money. . . but his brown eyes seem to be looking past me. Again he was dazing out. "Are you on drugs?" I questioned.

"What?"

"You keep dazing out."

"Oh, yeah. . . uh, no! I'm not on drugs, what the hell!" He gave me a funny look, "There's no food in the house, and I don't have any money to go grocery shopping. . . would you mind buying some for me? I'll find some way to pay you back, honest." Begging like a dog, how fitting. It almost made me pity him, though. No one should have to beg another person to buy them food.

I pursed my lips, trying to hide the emotion of pity. I patted my hand on the bed next to me, expecting him to take a seat. Jounouchi didn't react to my actions at all, and so I decided that I would have to say it plainly to him, "Sit down Jounouchi." He sat beside me, like a dog obeying his master.

He really did look like a pathetic, pitiful puppy. The smell of alcohol, the absence of family, the lack of money. . . something was definitely wrong, and if my mind served me correctly as it always did, I had a pretty good idea of just what the problem was. "Is your father an alcoholic?" He froze at my words and I nodded my head, "I thought so, I could smell it when I first walked in. He's out of town you say? Where?" This now sparked my curiosity. So Jounouchi's father was an alcoholic. . . that would make for an interesting paper and therefore an excellent grade, as I was accustomed to.

"Las Vegas. . ." He was mumbling now. Apparently his father was a touchy subject. . . well he would fit right in with me then. Las Vegas? Gambling central of America. . . gambling. . .

"So he gambles then. . . in debt? He gambles your money away, and so you have no money, no food. . . what a fucking asshole." Any man who puts anything before his family is a waste of oxygen and human flesh.

Jounouchi suddenly looked confused, and then strangely angry at me, "You act like you understand. You've never fucking had the hardships that I have!"

I slapped him, hard, unable to resist the rage that surged through my body at his pathetic assumptions. Instantly I tried to calm myself down. No reason to lose my cool with this waste of space. His own hand flew up instantly, covering the red flesh, a hiss escaping his. I glared at him, "You don't know anything about me, Jounouchi Katsuya."

"Then tell me!" He nearly pleaded, "Tell me about you!" I simply stared at him. If he thought I was just going to sit there and spill my heart out to him, he had another thing coming. I watched as he reached to the floor, snatching up his bookbag and flipping through papers, quickly retrieving what appeared to be the project packet.

"What are you doing?" I inquired.

"Finding questions to ask you for the project. We're going to start working on that project right now." He studied one particular page intensely.

"Why are you so eager to do this? The whole school knows how much of a slacker you are."

"Let's just say I have reasons of my own."

"Generally a person's reasons are their own."

He rolled my eyes and I smirked. He returned his gaze to the papers in his hands, "Alright then. . . let me find a good one." He seemed to be skimming the list for a bit, before his eyes lit up, with an idea nonetheless, "Actually, I've always wanted to know why you're such an asshole."

"Heh, there aren't enough hours in the day to explain that."

"Well, for now, give me a brief reason as to why you act the way you do."

"My step father." Had I really said that? What in the hell was I thinking? It was none of his fucking business! But. . . it did feel kind of good to come out and say it. . .

"Your step dad? What did he do?" He had opened a notebook to the first page, grabbing the nearest pen, pulling the cap off with his teeth and spitting it out nowhere in particular. He held the ball-point tip to the paper, ready to jot down my answer. What the fuck was this? Some sort of fucking therapy session?

My eyes inched slowly from the notebook to his face, where I allowed for them to rest on his eyes. I had learned over the years that it was easiest to communicate with someone by simply looking them in the eyes. I wanted him to look into my eyes, see my uneasiness, and therefore shut the hell up about my step father, without me actually admitting that I didn't want to talk about it. Saying something like that would make me look weak. . . weak. . . **that man** always said I was weak. . . but **he** always said I was strong. . .

As I snapped out of my small daydream, I could see that he had drifted off in another daydreaming. . . his eyes staring into mine. . . judging me, "You're already making assumptions in that little mind of yours, aren't you?" My hands were folded in my lap, my fingers intertwining unconsciously, it was a nervous tic of mine, "Why would you start with something as big as that? I wasn't adopted by my step father until I was twelve." Yeah, that's it! A great game strategy. Change the subject.

"Twelve?" He scribbled it down in his little notebook, glancing up at me in the middle of doing so, "What happened to your real parents?" I sighed and looked down at my hands. I really didn't want to tell him anything, especially not anything about any members of my family. That was the past, it was dead and buried, but. . . why did it still hurt to think about it? To think about Gozaburo, to think about mom and dad. . . to think about **Saki**. No, I absolutely couldn't think of him. "Kaiba? I got another pizza in the freezer. Want me to put one in the oven and we can work on this over eating?" Jounouchi's sudden voice caught my attention.

I nearly accepted, but became confused when I caught sight of his clock, "But it's just nine o'clock."

"Yeah, well, I didn't exactly get a chance to eat breakfast, you kinda woke me up. . . and you need to eat more anyways! I'll put some meat on those bones while your staying here!" He stood, taking his notebook with him, and made to leave the room. I smiled the slightest bit in amusement at the fact that he was **still** wearing his school uniform. He really needed to change.

"Jounouchi?"

He spun on his heels, "Yeah?"

"Perhaps you should change. I'll put the pizza in the oven. I can cook, you know." I stood swiftly, stepping across the room and out the door, shutting it behind me so he could change in privacy.

It wasn't difficult to find the kitchen again; his apartment wasn't exactly what anyone would call 'large'. I opened the freezer, finding the one lonesome pizza box within. As I was preheating the oven, my mind began to wander.

Should I tell Jounouchi the truth about my past? As weird as it may sound, I truly wanted to talk about it to **someone.** I couldn't talk to Mokuba; he was way too young! I couldn't talk to a therapist, because they didn't really ever seem completely human. Then again, Jounouchi didn't seem too much better with that notebook approach of his. He seemed to have quite a history of his own. I had also given him my word that I would tell him everything about myself. . . only a coward goes back on his word. That's one thing I've always been; a man of my word.

The oven beeped, ready for me to insert the pizza, which I did carefully so as not to burn my arms. I shut the door, setting the timer on twelve minutes. I stood there and watched the minutes tick away until it got down to about eight minutes left.

"Jounouchi is taking an awfully long time." Out of sheer curiosity, I traveled back down the hallway, slowly inching open the door and stepping inside without even the smallest of noises. I about fell over.

The greatest fear I had in staying at his house was him finding out about my illnesses. . . but how could I like an cover it up now? There he was, on the floor of his bedroom, going through my things! He had a pill bottle in each hand, studying the labels. Even lying wouldn't cover my ass.

"I could look these up on the computer later. . ." He told himself, turning the bottles to study them.

"I should of known that you'd go through my things, Jounouchi." I did my best to hide the shaking of my voice. Whether that shaking was from anger or fear, I had no clue.

He turned around quickly at the sound of my voice, the terror of being caught obvious in the size of his eyes, "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to notice your interest in my medicine."

He glanced down at the bottles in his hands, "What are they for?"

I folded my arms, leaning against the doorframe and looking down the hallway. No use in lying. . . "Well, Paxil is for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Wellbutrin is an antidepressant. . . the pizza is in the oven, come out with me." Yes, another excellent use of the changing-of-the-subject technique. I was beginning to master that art.

He followed close behind me, nearly running into me at some points in our short journey. Jounouchi wasn't dressed in anything out of what would have been the ordinary for him. Just a plain white t-shirt and some relatively faded blue jeans. He sat in the first chair at the kitchen table that he came to, and I sat across from him, trying to hide the uneasiness that must have been obvious in my features. I kept telling myself the same thing over and over. . . No use in lying.

"I know that you have questions, so ask them. We'll have to do this eventually anyways." It wasn't much, but it took a hell of a lot of courage to say it.

"Well, you can start by telling me the real reason you're so skinny."

Okay, not the question I was expecting, but a legitimate question in it's own right. I sighed, "Wellbutrin has a side affect of loss of appetite. . . not to mention my stomach has shrank over the years from a lack of eating." I hadn't meant to say that last bit. . . or had I? _No use in lying. . ._

"Why wouldn't you eat?" His brows knit together and he leaned forward, getting close to my face.

_No use in lying. . ._

"Well, when you go through enough, you just don't feel much like eating."

"Okay. . . will you answer my question from earlier? The question about how your real parents died?"

I lay his folded arms up on the table, placing my head on top. . ._ No use in lying. . . _"My mother died when she gave birth to Mokuba, and my father died in a car accident years after." I glanced up at him.

"Wow. . . did you ever hate Mokuba?"

_No use in lying. . ._ "I did at first. I used to tell my father to give Mokuba to God in exchange for my mother back." I looked down at the table, ashamed for ever allowing those words to leave my mouth; I love Mokuba with all my being, "I regret saying that, now. Mokuba's life is more important to me. He was only a baby, it wasn't his fault that she died." Mokuba was my everything.

"What about the rest of your family? You know, your grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins?"

_No use in lying. . . _"They passed us from family to family, until they had all of our inheritance, and then dumped us off at the Domino City orphanage." I choked out a pitiful little chuckle from deep in my throat, "I don't give a fuck about them." Which was true. . . I didn't care about them and I never would.

I hated my family. I hardly even remembered them, and yet I hate them. There must be something wrong with that. . . no, people such as them could never and **should** never be forgiven. I felt a gentle weight on my head suddenly. . . but I didn't really mind it so much. . . and then when I could feel fingers intertwining with my hair, it felt so nice. I allowed for my eyes to flutter shut, reminiscing for a bit.

"So," The blond continued, "You had a childhood full of misery. . . and then were adopted into a life of luxury?"

"Fuck no!" I slapped his hand away, standing quickly and nearly falling. He had jumped up as well, in an attempt to catch me, but I immediately pushed him away again, backing up until I was against the wall, "You don't fucking know anything! My life was never good, you fucking mutt, you fucking coward! You don't know how good you have it! You don't know! You don't know!" Without much warning, he roughly grabbed my arms, pulling me against him. By then, my eyes were blinded with rage, with hatred. . . hatred for. . . his body was so warm. . . so warm like. . . like **him**. Who was it that really hurt me. . . it was **that man** that did this to me. I grabbed onto his shirt, my head over his right shoulder, and barely whispered into my ear, "You don't know what he did to me. . ."

I could feel him shiver against me. "Do you mean," He started, "What your step father did?" I nodded my head against his shoulder, my grip loosening on his shirt. Why I had grabbed onto him to begin with, I couldn't figure out. I squirmed slightly against him, but he only held me tighter, "Seto," I straightened at the use of my first name, "I want you to give me your word right now that you will tell me about your life with your step father."

"Why?" I sounded so pathetic! I hadn't sounded like this in so many years. . . not since the day that. . . the day that Saki betrayed me. Here I was, in from of one of my enemies, blubbering like a child!

"Because I have a feeling that you've been hiding something horrible all these years and that you need to tell someone. You need to let everything out. If you do, you'll feel better about it. I promise you, I won't laugh at you, poke fun at you, spread your secrets. . . what you tell me stays between you and me, do you understand? And what I tell you stays between just us as well." Again, I nodded, though slightly more hesitant than I had last time. His words were soothing somehow, and his tone told no lies. He was being straightforward with me and I liked that. He smiled a bit, "Now, give me your word."

"I will tell you, in time." Yes, that was a good enough answer. His arms loosened slightly, giving me enough space to lean back and look into his eyes and search for a sense of truth within those amber depths. Could I trust him? Probably not. . . I had to be careful.

A light ping rang through the air and as though on cue, both of us turned our heads towards the oven, "Let me get it," He offered, "You just have a seat." I returned to my place at the table, staring off into space again, still wondering whether or not I should tell him anything. . . maybe just the small things. . . I watched Jounouchi pull out the pizza. He glanced back at me, probably just to see if I were looking.

"Stop looking at my ass." He said jokingly, smiling at me. I forced a tiny smile back to him, watching as he sat the hot pan on the stove, slipping off the oven mitt. He came back to the table, leaning on it, "Smile."

"What?" I was a bit taken aback by the random request.

"Smile. If you smile, I won't ask anymore questions about your family until tomorrow." He grinned that stupid grin of his, but the offer was not really something I could refuse.

I twisted my lips into various poses, trying to figure out just what kind of smile I would honor him with, when I really began to wonder if there were some sort of conditions with our little deal, "You won't ask me anymore questions about my family until tomorrow if I smile? That's all I have to do?"

"Yup, somehow I think that'll be more difficult for you to do than anything else." I looked up at him, ready to hold up my end of the bargain, when he added on last little requirement, "Oh, and it has to look genuine."

For a moment I hesitated, licking his lips in thought, before I flashed the most genuine smile that I could muster. Jounouchi's eyes seemed too light up as he looked on, "Beautiful."

I dropped the smile as quickly as I had formed it, "What?" Surely he hadn't said what I think he said. . .

"Nothing." He insisted, returning to our neglected pizza to slice it, "Let's just eat this before it gets cold."

There was an awkward silence during our entire meal, so I'll skip on the boring details. . . well, there really aren't any details, so I guess the only thing skipped here is the time it took for us to eat.

"What do you do all day?" I suppose that all the silence finally got to him.

"School and work." I leaned back in my chair, my arms folded loosely.

"That's it? Don't you go out with your friends?" Jounouchi really was a dumbass.

"I don't have friends, I have acquaintances." I said it plainly, already tired of answering stupid questions from a dumbass such as himself,

"Why don't you try acting like a teenager for a change, rather than acting like an old fart all the time?" My eyes likely widened a bit, with me not being one to show much emotion and all. "I think you've let your guard down."

"I don't need to guard myself around one little runt like yourself."

"Do you always have to be such a fucking asshole?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to act like this the entire project?"

"Absolutely." Whether that was true or not, I wasn't so sure. . .

It was another standoff, him glaring and me just looking amused. "Stand up." He demanded, and I chuckled a bit, not about to obey his order, "I said stand up!" My smirk faded, replaced by a rather annoyed expression. I studied him intently. Was he fucking serious?

"And why, dare I ask, would I listen to you?" I glared at him.

Before I could react, he was at the tables side, holding me high above my seat by my right arm with a strength I couldn't recall him possessing. I winced slightly, in a bit of shock at the situation. He looked pissed, "You think I'm fucking playing, Kaiba!" I swung at him with my left hand frantically, but he caught it with ease, holding it in the same hand as my other wrist.

He moved us to the wall nearest the kitchen table and shoved me roughly against it. . . my mind was screaming at me to move, and yet my body wasn't responding any longer. He was holding me lower now, so that I seemed smaller than him, and then crushed his body against my own, eliciting a few grunts from me that I hadn't meant to let out. Though I couldn't bring myself to move much, I could still yell.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing!"

"Teaching you a lesson." A lesson?

_Again, my step father had left the company in my care as he attended a press conference across the country, and again, stocks dropped to a percent lower than before he had left, which was immediately considered my fault. I wasn't good at this, he had always said to me. I wasn't smart enough, I would never make a good CEO of Kaiba Corporation. . . the only thing I was good at was. . ._

_Was. . ._

_He had returned from the conference, furious and blinded by his frightening rage. I knew was would happen. It always happened this way. He was going to give me another 'lesson' which always consisted of some sort of beating or torture. He had quickly learned everything that hurt me most. . . and used it to his advantage. _

_I could only watched as the older man approached him, his strong hands gripping my wrists, and I couldn't only plead for forgiveness as his free hand beat me ruthlessly. My voice was pathetic wailing throughout the session, screaming over and over. . ._

"_D-don't. . . N-no! No, don't! Don't do it! I didn't mean to! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! It won't happen again! Don't touch me! Leave me alone! No! It hurts, it hurts!" I could hear a voice, someone's voice. . . someone trying to calm me? No, not here, not with Gozaburo, I remained in a panic, "I hate you Gozaburo!" Another voice came to me. . . _

"_What did you just call me?" Oh, I had forgotten! I called him by his name while we were alone, he would hurt me for that. He owned me._

"_M-master. . ." I corrected myself._ _I could feel strong arms pulling me against a warm body and I fought them, but I was no match._

"_Shh," That same voice whispered, a gentle hand rubbing my back, "It's me, Jounouchi."_

My eyes shot open. I was on the floor now, Jounouchi holding me tightly, his expression confused and panicked. What had happened? Why was I on the floor. . . We were idly chatting. . . and then. . . Gozaburo was. . .

**No**. Gozaburo was dead. He was dead and never coming back.

"Huh?" I muttered, quickly analyzing our position, "What the fuck are you doing!"

"Trying to calm your ass down."

"What?"

"You spazzed out and started screaming for me not to touch you and that something hurt, then you called me. . ." He stopped suddenly, as though he was rethinking telling me.

"Called you what?"

"I don't remember, don't worry about it." He looked into my eyes. Without words, I thanked him. I knew exactly what was going on now. . . and I really didn't want to discuss it. He sighed, "You wanna go out somewhere? To help pass the time?"

"Out? Where?"

"Kaiba, we're going to go to the mall, or a club, or the shops around town. . . anywhere to get you into teenage life. You have **got** to get out more often!"

"The mall? With **you**?" My tone was degrading, but I made sure that my expression was light-hearted so that he knew I was joking. He smiled at me when he understood.

"You don't really mean that." Apparently he felt the need to make sure, though. "You're just joking, right?"

"I wouldn't go so far as to say that. . ." I stood and brushed myself off. Okay, so I wasn't ready to admit it out loud yet, it just wasn't my style.

He headed for the door, "We'd better get walking then, it's about five miles to the mall."

"Woah, woah, woah," I stared at his back, "Walk? There is no way in hell I'm walking."

"Well. . . you **could** always pay our way in a cab."

"Fine, whatever. . . just as long as we don't have to walk." I walked out the door, keeping my distance from him as he followed soon after.

I must say that I was dreading this little adventure. . . and soon I would find out why.

* * *

Holy fucking shit! I hadn't realized how long this chapter really was! Well, it's two thirty in the morning, so I need to sleep! Lol, I hope you all like this new installment. . . 'cause now I need to work on another chapter of the original story. I have to get in as many chapters as possible before school starts back up! Hope you enjoyed! 


	3. Day One: Lust and Love

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

**Note:** Most of you have been concerned with chapter one. You're right, the phone conversation from the original didn't appear in this story. . . why? Because there are two different time-frames. This stories first chapter ended earlier than the other story. Also, sorry about my grammar! I'm going to have my AIM friends preview it so that won't happen again!

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own yuugiou, and I never will. I'm not making money off of this.

**Remember:** This is Seto's point of view.

* * *

After what seemed like an eternity, we reached the main road, cars zipping by us at speeds above the limit. . . not that anyone followed those damned signs anyways. I could see Jounouchi desperately trying to wave down various taxis that sped past us. . . how pathetic, no class at all. With the grace that came natural to me, I raised my right hand into the air, quickly rewarded with a taxi ride stopping just in front of us.

I missed my limousine immediately. It was a crude, filthy thing. Then again, the outside was brilliant compared to the inside. The moment we both, Jounouchi and I, sat down, the small space was filled with a scent that reminded me of bad body odor. I scrunched up my nose, which really did me no good, but I could see that blond smile at my reaction. He was probably used to trash like this. I would call it sad. . . if I really gave a damn.

If I had to be in this turd-mobile, the least I could do was be safe. I reached back, pulling on the seatbelt. . . which quickly fell apart. I went wide-eyed at first, then rolled them, glancing at the rear-view mirror in an attempt to make eye-contact with the trashy driver.

"That belts broken." His voice was rough and his statement plain. He never made eye contact with me. I'm sure he knew that my glare would melt his eyes right out of his sockets.

"Obviously." I blew a couple of stray bangs out of my eyes, already annoyed.

"Where to?"

"Domino Mall." Okay, so that wasn't something I was used to saying. . . I really wasn't interested in going here. I knew what would await me at that dreadful mall; rabid fangirls and horny gay men. . . just lovely. I glanced out the window, sighing a bit.

The car slowly came to move along with the steady flow of traffic. The mutt was unusually quiet, not that I minded. There was never anything wrong with silence, especially where that dingbat blond was concerned. But of course, I spoke too soon, as he was quick to break the peace.

"So. . . how's the company?" He obviously was just asking stupid shit because he didn't like dead air.

I looked at him, one eyebrow drastically higher than the other, "You know, sometimes it's best to just stay quiet. Don't try to make small-talk with me. You obviously lack the intelligence to do so." I turned back to the window, smirking a bit in amusement at myself. He was so easy to piss off. . . any moment now, he should come back with some stupid remark.

"Oh, back to that are we? You weren't so mean this morning. I thought you were starting to open up to me! I thought our relationship was going to the next level!" He bantered on like a bitchy lover, and that look on his face told me that he knew full well what he was doing. That bastard was playing dirty. The driver was even looking back now! I glared at him, my blue eyes seething beneath the bangs that had fallen out of place again.

"Don't pull that shit, Jounouchi. Shut your damn mouth and keep it that way."

"And if I don't?"

"I'll rip your jaw off."

Apparently threatening him while looking him dead in the eyes is good enough to keep him quiet. I would have to remember that. Needless to say, the trip was silent from then on. . . except for the occasional outburst of curses from our driver whenever he decided that some other driver sucked and deserved to 'fuck off' or 'park on train tracks', and a rather cheery "Here we are!" from him as we arrived at our destination. Yeah, he was definitely trash.

Eager to get away from that little hell, I jumped out of the cab, retrieving some sort of bills from my wallet - twenties, hundreds? I don't know, nor do I care - and chucked them at him. The simpleton was overcome with joy. . . what a pathetic waste of human flesh. Then again, without such lowly creatures, I wouldn't be reminded how great I was every day. . . but I worked hard for what I fucking had.

"You shouldn't have paid him so much." Jounouchi commented as we headed toward the entrance.

"I really don't care, mutt. Money is of the least of my worries." I ran a hand through my hair, making sure that each piece fell perfectly into place as I was about to brave the attention that I knew I would receive. The only thing that currently separated me from horny men and women was a set of glass doors.

"Hey, Kaiba." He grabbed my arm and I turned sharply, my hand grasping the doorhandle to the entrance.

"What?"

"Why are you being so cold towards me now? Is it because we're in public?"

"Heh, I don't know what came over me this morning, I must have still been half asleep to talk the way I did. Don't get used to things as strange that." I yanked my arm out of his grasp. I honestly had no clue what I was thinking that morning, but there really was no point in dwelling on it. Like they say, 'shit happens'. He followed silently behind me as I swung open the door and proceeded to enter.

It figures that we would come here on a day when it was packed with people. I could here the pathetic little girls all giggling like a bunch of bitches in heat and daring each other to approach me. I hated going out in public.

A slutty group of three dared to come near us, clad in their stiletto heels, showy mini-skirts, and skimpy tube tops. . . one of them gave a reason to put a weight limit on outfits like that. . . the bimbo leader of the group stepped forward, her make-up-covered face beaming. Her stupidity emanated from her like the heat from an iron, and yet she dared to speak, her skanky friends looking just as stupid behind her.

"Hi!" She squealed, in that insanely-high pitch that only a fangirl could master, "My name is-"

"I don't care." I shoved past her as quickly as I could, not in the mood to deal with annoy little girls today. If they thought I was going to be interested in skanky clothing, they thought wrong.

I sat down on a bench across from a few of the many shops. Jounouchi sat down next to me, rather close to me, but I decided to let it go.

"So, what are we here for exactly? I didn't come here just to get cozy." I leaned back against the bench, crossing my legs and folding my arms, only to discover that the mutt was staring at my legs. "Would you just answer me?" I stared at him until I caught his attention.

"Um. . . well, we can hang out and talk. . . you know, without the environment being too personal. My friends and I come here all the time. Don't you and your friends ever come here?"

"I don't have friends." I glanced over at some gothic kids that passed us by. Freaks.

"Haven't you ever had friends?" He sure was persistent about this, wasn't he?

I sighed, "Still persistent on asking questions?" I smirked with an idea, "If I smile again, will you stop asking questions completely?" He frowned at my question. Guess he didn't find it as amusing as I did. "What?" I asked, allowing for my smirk to be replaced by mock confusion, "Can't you take a joke?" I smirked at the fact that I was repeating the same thing he usually said to me. He smiled.

"You remind me of a cat."

What the hell? "Excuse me?"

"You say that a lot. . . anyways, you're like a cat. You get pissy when people try to touch you, you always smirk, you act kinda prissy, and you move all. . . well, graceful." Had he not been looking me dead in the eyes, I would have laughed my ass off.

"Of all of the things I have been compared to, I don't believe a cat was ever one of them." I cocked an eyebrow at him, instantly becoming bored again, "Are we just going to sit here the whole damn time?" I glanced around.

"Well, we can hang out, shop, eat, check people out. . . don't you ever just kind of go somewhere to be out?"

"Very rarely. . ."

"But you still do. Where do you go?" Damn, he was nosey. . .

"Clubs."

His eyebrows shot up behind his messy blond hair, "Clubs? Okay, first of all, don't you have to be 21 to get into a club?"

"Not when you're me." I stated plainly, my eyes watching him closely for a reaction. It was true though. I got my way wherever I went, no questions asked.

"Yeah, I guess that you can do that sort of thing when you're sexy and famous."

Woah, wait a minute, "Sexy?"

"People say that all the time."

I closed my eyes and sighed, opening them again to glance at those that happened to be passing by. They stared at brief intervals, probably surprised to see me with a commoner like Jounouchi.

"You never answered my question." Did he ever shut the hell up?

"Which one?"

"Haven't you ever had friends?"

I sighed, shifting a bit in the seat, "Yes, lots. Then I learned that they only befriended me for my money or the way I looked. . . even for my social status. So I basically told them all to fuck off and burn in an everlasting Hell." I shrugged. It really wasn't a big deal. It was typical for higher-ups not to have any friends.

"So you've never had a best friend?" His brows knit together and he looked shocked. Then again, someone in the friendship group **would** react that way to such a thing.

"I did, but that was a very long time ago. We stopped speaking when I had just turned 16." I didn't like where this was going. . .

"Uh, two years really isn't a long time ago. . . and what was his name?"

"His name was Saki." I allowed for a faint, sad smile to play on my lips before frowning at him for getting into my business, "That's all you need to know."

"Why aren't you friends anymore?"

I glanced at the stores around us, trying to find anything to go to so that I could get away from this subject. . . Saki. . . "Because he couldn't see the difference between lust and love." I stood, walking slowly towards one of the men's stores. The nerve of that damned mutt! Asking me about such personal things in a public place like this! I absentmindedly paced from rack to rack, looking at various dress shirts as though they actually interested me.

Then again. . . Jounouchi had no idea how personal the subject of Saki was. I glanced around the store, already noticing the male employees circling around me, waiting for the right moment to swoop in and try to sell me a fucking tie or something. How annoying.

Just as they came swarming in for the kill, I high-stepped it towards the door. Jounouchi was there, talking to some guy - hey, I don't make a habit of checking out men - so I grabbed him by the left wrist and dragged him out of the store.

"What a fucking weirdo." The dumbass muttered randomly."

"Yeah, you are."

"I didn't mean me!" He spun around and I released his arm. He looked like he was ready to knock me flat, when his expression became a bit puzzled, "Seto?"

"It's Kaiba, and I got bored with that store, so let's go somewhere else. Let's go to another building perhaps." I folded my arms and tapped my right foot, the light sound lost amongst the noisy chatter of the crowd of shoppers.

"Well, what time is it?" Quickly noticing that he didn't have a watch, I allowed for my sleeve to slide back and reveal my own. Before I had the chance to look at it, however, he grasped my arm, pulling it close to get a better look. My heart practically stopped beating. . . what if he saw my scars? "It's eleven thirty!" He announced, just as I practically tore my arm away from him. I pulled it close to my chest, nursing it with his other hand because I had accidentally hurt myself in my frantic pulling, "Well if you weren't so determined to get it away from me, you wouldn't have gotten hurt." He folded his arms and shook his head, "I just wanted to look at your watch. You act like me holding your arm is going to make you weak or vulnerable or something."

I rolled my eyes at him and allowed for my arm to fall back to my side, "No, I just don't want a disgusting kid like you touching me."

"Kid? We're the same fucking age! Plus we're eighteen!" By this time we were getting a lot of stares. Parents were grabbing their childrens' ears, glaring and shaking their heads at Jounouchi for his foul language. I hadn't expected him to yell like that.

"You certainly don't act like an adult." I walked passed him, looking around and pretending to be interested in shopping so that no more unnecessary attention would be on me.

"Hey, wait up!" Even over the noise, I could hear him clumsily following me, "Want to get some ice cream?"

I glanced down at him, "Ice cream? Now you sound like Mokuba. . . fine, let's get some." I stopped abruptly, surprised that Jounouchi didn't run smack into me, and took an abrupt right to look at a mall directory.

"You know, I know this place inside and out, we really don't need a map." He acted like that was something to be proud of.

"Well if you're so damn smart, why don't you lead the way?" I stared him in the eyes. Today was really sucking.

"Fine, I will." He marched off in, what I could only assume to be, the direction of the nearest ice cream shop in the building. "It's right here." He announced, as though I couldn't see the damn thing for myself. The shop was bright and colorful with displays of numerous varieties of cones, the multiple flavors of ice cream hiding just behind the icy glass, their names etched into little tags in front of each tub.

We were the only one's in line, and so the teenage girl working just behind the counter was quick to approach us, "What can I get for you today?"

"Well, I'll have a mint chocolate chip." He turned to me, which I was still trying to decide, "What do you want, _Kaiba_?" I could tell that he put the emphasis on his surname, just to show me that he wasn't using my first name as he had been earlier.

"Chocolate."

"Alright, how many scoops?"

"One for both of us." He glanced at me as though looking for my reaction.

"And the type of cone?"

"Cake cones." He smiled at me, "They're the best kind."

I grunted a bit and looked away, really not giving a damn.

"Alright, that'll be 7.50." (AN: I know, I'm not using yen. . . because I'm **still** too lazy to get on the internet and find a conversion chart.) I forked over a ten, knowing full-well that the dumb blond didn't have any money, and told her to keep the change, and she proceed to happily create two ice creams for us.

"Thanks for paying." He smiled sheepishly at me, clutching the cone and handing me my chocolate. "I'm sorry that I don't have any money with me." He kicked unconsciously at the cheap-tiled flooring. When was he going to learn that money wasn't an issue for me?

"Don't worry about it, it's not your fault that your father is a grade A asshole." I licked at my ice cream, wondering how he would react to my comment.

"It is, really. . . I mean, I'm not the brightest kid, nor am I a very good son." He may have not been the brightest crayon in the box, but no one should call themselves a bad child just because their parents suck at life.

"Shut up." I got dangerously close to him, "It isn't your fault, no matter what people may tell you, no matter what you may think. . . it is **not** your fault." I shuddered slightly with anger and backed off a bit, claiming the nearest bench. He followed me as soon as our eyes met.

"Was your father mean to you?" His sudden question stunned me a bit, but I thought of a quick way out of it.

"You promised no more questions about my family today."

"Yeah, I did." Was his defeated reply.

Don't you hate when they pile the ice cream high on the cone, so what when you start licking it, the shit runs down the side? I do. It's annoying, and you have to keep your eyes on it otherwise you'll get sticky mess all over your hand. Noticing some chocolate creeping down my cone, I put it to my face, lapping it up quickly. Jounouchi, the dolt that he was, was just staring at me. What would I say this time? It was really getting old, "Mutt, you're letting your ice cream run down the side."

"Want to lick it off for me?"

Did he just say what I think he said? I blinked my eyes rapidly, "Excuse me?"

"Nothing." He stated plainly, and then proceeded to make a scene of slurping the green, mint liquid from the side of his cone. I watched him, in disgust of course, and he noticed my attention, "What are you looking at?"

"I'm just observing your strange, disgusting eating habits."

His brows knit together for a moment and then parted again, "Speaking of eating, I'm ready for lunch! It's about noon, right?" It was always about food with him.

"Well yeah, but we ate only about three hours ago."

"Hm, yeah, I guess you're right. . . well, we could always walk around until we find something interesting." He shrugged his shoulders. Isn't that what we were doing since the moment we there?

"Wow, how fun." My sarcasm was thick as I stretched my arms high above my head, yawning. I was so glad that I didn't have what Jounouchi called a 'normal teenage life'. It would suck to have to do shit like this every day.

"You ever been in a relationship?"

"Uh. . . no. . . yes. . . sort of. . . not really." I clasped my hands together in my lap, twiddling my thumbs a bit and locking my eyes onto the fountain on the floor below us. He had asked it so randomly, I had kind of answered without thinking about it. It wasn't any of his business. . . and again, I didn't want to discuss Saki. I threw the cone paper in the trash can nearest to us.

Jounouchi slurped up the last bit of his loudly, tossing the paper to join mine.

"I have a great idea!" He leapt from the bench, startling me a bit in the process, "Let's go to the arcade that they have here!" He grinned childishly at me, and I sighed in response.

"Fine." I stood, waiting for him to take off. But instead, he just stood there, "Well? Lead the way."

Without much in the way of a warning, he grabbed my hand, pulling me quickly along behind him. His hand was rough, slightly scratching at the soft skin of my own hand. I was dragged through various groups of people, allowing some sounds of protest to escape my mouth as I was lead through the heavily populated shopping center. It was so embarrassing! I clutched tighter onto his hand so that he wouldn't let me go and allow for me to stumble and fall over.

As we neared the arcade, he stopped short, causing me to run into him with no bit of grace at all; that bastard. I quickly moved to stand next to him, one hand on my hip, shaking out the hand that he had had ahold of, "Well, let's go in then."

I lead the way inside, but he soon jumped in front of me, apparently spotting a game that he liked. He pointed to it frantically, "Hey, let's play that!"

I grunted in response, pulling out a five and sending it into the depths of the change machine. Instantly, a whole pool of quarters were released, and I pulled a cup from the top of the machine to catch them in.

Again, he grabbed my hand, pulling me over to the stools, "Come on!"

Now, I was the best at most games in Domino. . . however, I had never seen this one before, and the controls didn't look like anything I had used before. It must have been a new one. I hadn't really been playing games lately. I gave up when Yuugi. . . no, when **Yami no Yuugi** beat me at Duel Monsters. I had been too preoccupied with beating him to care about much else.

"I don't know how to play this one." I admitted, pursing my lips slightly. He smiled at me.

"I can teach you. Sit down and I'll show you." I sat down, though I hated following orders, and awaited further instruction. "Now, put your right hand on that joystick and then keep your left hand near those two buttons there." As I did so, he clasped his hands over mine, his chin resting gently on my right shoulder. I froze on the seat.

"What do you think you're doing?" I questioned, trying to sound as cool and collected as possible.

"Showing you how to play." I shivered a bit as his breath blew past my ear. He didn't sound like he had some sort of ulterior motive though, so perhaps this was the normal teenage way of teaching how to play games. I had taught Mokuba how to play some games in a similar manner to this.

"Whatever." I muttered.

This went on for about ten minutes. He helped me the entire time, but I soon found myself lost in the game. We won round after round of the fighting game. It wasn't long before I joined him in taunting our computer opponents and bragging about the awesome fighting skills of our character. I felt very. . . strange. . . it was like I wasn't me anymore. . . and yet, this feeling was so familiar. I think that I was happy. . .

We moved from game to game. Strangely enough, he chose all the games that I didn't know how to play. Was that a coincidence? He couldn't have known which games I hadn't played before. Each time, the same thing occurred, and each time, I grew more and more relaxed and carefree.

I felt alive.

During one game, my stomach rumbled. Had it not been for the noise of the arcade, I would have likely attracted a lot of unwanted attention. Judging by Jounouchi's sudden jerk, he probably felt it through my back. . . not that he should have been so close to me to begin with.

"Hm, I guess I'm a bit hungry." I stated, glancing down at my stomach.

He grabbed my wrist, like earlier -and I struggled to pull it away, like earlier- and looked at my watch, "Geez, it's already one o'clock!" He stood up straight, allowing me to remove myself from the cushioned stool upon which I sat, "Want to head on down to the food court for some lunch?" He tilted his head after his suggestion.

"Sure. . . I guess I'm paying?" I arched an eyebrow, though I already knew what the answer would be.

He tried to look as cute as possible, though I can't say that it did anything for me, "Would you?"

"Pfeh, sure, it can go down on my short list of charities."

- - -

The food court was even more crowded than the rest of the mall, being that it was around lunch hour for everyone. Restaurants dotted the walls, neon signs illuminated, attempting to catch the hungry eyes of those that passed with lit-up menus adorned with photos of perfect dishes. . . it's funny how the food never looks so magnificent in real life. . . couldn't that be considered false advertising?

Jounouchi and I had hopped into the line for McDonald's, after a long and grueling argument about the type of food each restaurant served and why each place sucked. McDonald's was the only place that we could say had a decent selection of food. I bought the dumb blond a big mac and myself a salad. Didn't want to get fat or anything with all that grease.

"Have you ever had a cheeseburger?" He asked as we sat down at our table.

"Yes, but I don't prefer them. They're fattening and unhealthy anyways."

"Well, during these next two weeks, you're going to eat at **least** one. I told you, I'm going to get you to put on some weight. . . I mean, I don't want you to get fat or anything, but looking like an anorexia patient isn't so great."

I threw a glare his way, popping more of my salad into my mouth. He, on the other hand, bit sloppily into that burger, the 'secret sauce', AKA thousand island dressing, dripping from the opposite end. I can only imagine what my expression must have been.

"What? Never seen a _normal_ teenage boy eat before?"

"I'm sorry, Jounouchi, but that manner of eating certainly isn't _normal_, and if it is, then I hope to god that someone kills me if I ever become that way."

"You really need to loosen up."

"You really need to fuck off and mind your own god-damned business."

This sort of thing went on throughout the meal, one comment after another, insults flying across the two-person table at lightening speed, the hands on my watch seeming to fly around and around it's face. . . even after we had long since downed our lunch, we were still going at it like a cat and dog. We were going on about such minuscule matters, like grades in school and friendship (I thought for a moment that the annoying Anzu girl had taken his place.) and even things like what was a good career choice; for him, of course, since my career had been decided ever since I was twelve.

Without thinking, we had gotten up from the table, wandering about the mall, bickering about many things and agreeing about a slim few. . . like how annoying Anzu was, and how some of the kids in our school truly sucked ass. I trashed Yuugi and Honda a few times, but he tried to bitch me out for it. And there I was thinking that perhaps I could get along with him and change his ways. Apparently it reminded him of something, because his eyes lip up shortly thereafter.

"Kaiba? About your friend. . . what did you mean when you said he didn't know the difference between lust and love?"

I lowered my eyes. The question was innocent enough, but I didn't think that he would bring it up after I mentioned it. I didn't want to answer it, but if I didn't, he would start to assume things. I had to say things to get him off my back about it. "Saki was. . . Saki would listen to me. He made me happy a lot of the time when things weren't going quite right. . . but his other emotions got in the way of his better judgment and ruined everything." That was discreet enough, right?

Apparently not, seeing as how his eyes grew to cover nearly half his face, "Do you mean to say that he-"

"Don't say it. . . please, don't say it." Whether he knew, or whether he didn't, I couldn't bare to hear the word. That word was my poison.

I had a strong feeling that I would eventually have to spill the truth about Saki. . .

* * *

Guess what? I had a beta this time! Her fanfiction name is IcyFrost. She doesn't have any fics posted, but when she does, go read them! (And if there are any mistakes, blame her! Hehe! Just kidding!) I hope that the grammar and POV switch was a clean one this time! As always, review, and IM me on AIM for sneak-peaks and chances to beta for me! You know you want to! My name is cryoftheicetears. 


	4. Day One: Hellish Slumber

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

Okay! Yet another chapter of the mirror story! I won't be updating this story as much, because it might reveal things that haven't been revealed yet in the other story. . . so yeah, I wouldn't want to ruin a good surprise!

Someone asked why I didn't describe Jounouchi as much as I described Seto. My answer, in a nutshell, was that the other story was from Jou's POV and he wouldn't be describing himself as gorgeous. . . and then Seto, as of yet, doesn't really see any need to go into detail about Jounouchi. . . who knows? Perhaps that will change.

**Warning:** This story is from Seto's POV and therefore might reveal things that you didn't pick up on in **_Behind Blue Eyes_**. Chances are, such events were **in** the other story, but in a more subtle fashion. If this story spoils anything for the other story. . . then I'm sorry!

**Disclaimer: **Definitely don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

- - -

The rest of the trip was pretty much uneventful, save for that stupid mutt going on about some weirdo at the mall as though I gave a damn or something. He managed to drag me along from shop to shop until he was just as bored with it as I was when we first got there. Then he got up the nerve to beg me to go grocery shopping with him. What the hell did he think I was, his new playmate? So basically I wound up pushing a rickety old cart through a nasty-ass food shop with Jounouchi running around like a five year old throwing junk food into it. . . of course, he knew full well that **I** was going to be the one paying for it. . . and I did. My one good deed for the month was done. He probably thanked me for it a million times over, so I finally waved a hand at him to shut him the hell up. Thank God it worked.

It was probably around six when we found our way back to his apartment complex. He even had me hauling half of the bags. . . what a way to treat a guest! Damned mutt. . . I mean seriously! I know that he doesn't have nearly as much money or intelligence as I do, and that he was raised to be the nasty mongrel that he is now, but that should be all the more reason to cater to me and do kind things for me. He should want with all of his being to get on my good side in hopes that I might teach him a thing or two. But no, he just smiled with that goofy smile and scratched at that scruffy blond hair of his and treated me just like he treated everyone else under the sun.

I left him to put the food away on his own. I bought the shit and carried a good bit of it, so why in the hell should I have to put it away too? Definitely not. Besides, who knows what I would find in those cabinets while trying to find places for everything. Probably rats and spiders. . . blegh. Such filth. I could feel the dirt settling on my skin every time I walked in the place. I took a seat at the kitchen table and watched him go about his work.

It went on for a while, him going from the bags to the fridge or from the bags to the cabinets, put away article after article of food. I guess silence bothered him, because he felt the need to attempt a conversation.

"Have you decided where you will be sleeping tonight?" Ugh, not this shit again.

"The bed." Obviously

"Do we have to go through this again? I'm sleeping in my bed."

"Then let me sleep in your father's room." It was a reasonable thing to say, in my opinion. . . mind you, my opinion is right 99.9 percent of the time.

He hesitated for a second, moving his mouth as though he were at a loss for words, "No, you can't sleep in there."

"I don't really want to, I just wanted to see what your reaction would be." I sighed, "Guess you'll be sleeping on the floor. I'm your guest, after all. You should always treat your guests with respect." Damn right!

"You do realize that all of this still applies when I go to your place, right?" He smiled at me like he was so fucking clever or something. Pfeh!

I furrowed my brows at him, "There are plenty of useable beds in my house. Such a problem will never come up."

He pulled at his hair, which I found rather amusing, "Fine. Sleep in my bed tonight and I'll sleep on the floor. . . but tomorrow night we switch."

"Yeah, we'll see." I closed my eyes, smirking. There was absolutely no way in hell that I was going to let him have the bed. I wondered if he cleaned the sheets. . .

There was another long moment of silence and so I decided to inspect the ceiling. There were a couple of cracks around the edges. Jounouchi probably hadn't noticed.

Speaking of the cur. . . he was grinning at me like someone that had escaped an asylum. Then again, that wouldn't be so surprising. I raised an eyebrow at him, hoping that he would take the hint, but I refrained from saying anything. I really had no desire to talk with such a freak.

"Alright then!"

I jumped slightly in my seat at his childish outburst. He chuckled a bit, which pissed me off.

"What would you like for dinner, your royal ass-ness?"

I rolled my eyes, "I'm not an ass."

"No, but you have a nice one."

"Excuse me?" He couldn't have just said what I thought he said.

"I said 'what would you like for dinner?'"

"**You're **making dinner? I'd rather eat dog shit." I stuck out my tongue as if to prove a point.

His eyes narrowed, "That can be arranged." I scrunched up my face and he grinned again, "You shouldn't do that, your face will stay that way." I pursed my lips together and turned away from his ignorance, but that only succeeded in making him laugh, "But really though, I'm a pretty good cook. . . how about we have spaghetti? I make the best spaghetti in all of Domino! You'll see!" He began moving about the kitchen, apparently looking for the proper ingredients.

"Whatever you say, mutt." I watched him put the water on to boil. I began to think. So far, he had been calling me sexy and talking about my ass. What would become of such behavior? I mean, I suppose that it could be passed off as a way to irritate me, which it obviously did, but. . . something just wasn't the same as it usually was, and changed bothered the hell out of me. I spoke softly now, "Hey, Jounouchi. . ."

He peered over his shoulder at me, "Did you say something?"

"Yeah. . ." I wasn't exactly sure how to ask him, so I did the best I could with the words currently floating in my mind. "What's the matter with you?"

"Huh? What the hell are you talking about?" He seemed genuinely confused.

"The things that you have been saying to me and about me!" I narrowed my eyes to the point that they were practically slits and curled my fists together atop the sorry excuse for a kitchen table, "Like when you called me sexy, or a minute ago when you said I had a nice ass!" I fought the blush that threatened to rise in my cheeks at the mentioning of my own ass.

"What? You should know that you're sexy. . . or do you not notice all of the babes that practically drool all over you."

Did he just totally admit to saying all of those things? Was he absolutely serious? He wasn't just fucking around? "But-"

"Let me guess, but I'm a guy, right? And guys can't compliment other guys? Get out of the stone age, Kaiba. People don't really give a fuck who likes who, who fucks who. . . I mean, I could fuck your brains out right now, and hardly anyone would find it so disgusting." I think that my eyes were covering about fifty percent of my face right about then. Did he realize what exactly he was saying? I couldn't hold back the blush burning at my cheeks, and even my hands betrayed me by dropping to my lap, the fists long forgotten. He laughed, "What? Does it really bother you that much?" I huffed and looked away from him, trying to remain even the smallest piece of my dignity. He felt the need to add one last remark, "Oh yeah, and you **do** have a nice ass." My head snapped back to face him, anger likely evident in my eyes.

The silence came flowing in again, and I was thankful for it. Jounouchi had done enough damage to leave me burning for about fifteen minutes. During this time, he had poured the pasta into its pot. When they were good and soft, he spooned it into two decent-sized bowls, covering it in spaghetti sauce and topping it off with a layer of cheese that he had shredded by himself. I sniffed at the serving he had set in front of me before I even dared to taste it.

"Is it good?" He asked, wanting to hear praise from me.

"I've had better." I lied. Damn! Okay, so he could cook, big deal. I had to admit though, I hadn't had better pasta than what currently sat in front of me. I tried to pick at it and eat slowly so he would believe me. I was pretty good at trickery.

During dinner, our conversation jumped from subject to subject, a lot of topics being in some way related to school or my job. Have you ever gotten to talking about someone that really pisses you off and then you just can't explain their stupid antics without getting up and imitating it? Well, I happen to have a high-ranking employee that really gets on my last nerve. . . he walks strangely and moves in an awkward manner. His voice grinds on my eardrums. Anyways, I couldn't really explaining it without acting it out myself. . . and I didn't really realize how ridiculous I must have seemed until after the fact. . . but while I was acting, I didn't feel strange at all. . . I was totally comfortable doing what I was doing. Maybe I needed to up my meds. . .

I'd say it was about seven-thirty in the evening when he cleaned up the dishes. He had told me about how shitty he was doing in math, which wasn't news to me, and so I agreed to help him. Looks like I was going to cover my good deed for next month as well.

"So, what exactly is it that you need help with?" I asked, casually. We sat on the bedroom floor by his bed. Well, he sat cross-legged and I kinda laid on my side with my head propped up by my arm in some sort of search for comfort. I lay close enough so that I could see the homework.

"Are you even listening to me?" I glared up at him, snapping him out of whatever daydream he was having.

"Oh, sorry, what?"

"I asked you what you needed help with."

"Math."

"No shit Sherlock." He laughed that stupid laugh and I rolled my eyes, "I meant what about math don't you understand?"

"Uh, all of it." He bit his lip and looked down at me. I only managed to stare back.

"So you mean to tell me that you wouldn't even know where to begin?" I rolled over to lay on my back, clasping my hands together behind my head. . . a much more comfortable position.

"Uh, yup." He smiled a stupid, half-smile.

Okay, I wasn't so cozy anymore. I sighed and rolled over yet again, this time on my stomach. I think that my side was against one of his knees, but it didn't bother me or anything and I really didn't feel like moving again. I used my elbows to prop my front half up. I picked up his pencil and began to demonstrate how it was done.

"You see now? Try one on your own now." I placed the pencil gently into his hand and watched on with curiosity as he repeated my steps. I checked over his completed work, "Yup, you got it right, mutt." I glanced up at him.

"Do I get a prize?"

"Excuse me?" I scooted away by a couple centimeters. What?

"Yeah, I showed you fun at the mall, I cooked you dinner, I paid attention enough to learn some math. . . and now I want a prize." All the while, his eyes seemed to be looking me up and down shortly before coming to rest on my face. He was making me uneasy.

"Sorry mutt, but I have no prize for you." For the millionth time that day, I rolled my eyes. His little games were getting more annoying with each passing second.

Without the slightest warning, he laid half-way on me so that his chin rested on my shoulder and his chest was against my back. I stiffened up at the sudden intimate contact.

"Let's play, Seto." He purred, daring to use my first name. I didn't like where this was going.

I rolled quickly to the side, knocking him off of me, "What the fuck do you think you're doing, mutt?!" I screamed, trying to hide the slightest hint of fear within me.

"I was just messing with you!" He laughed and rubbed at the back of his head, "Come on, dude, I'm straight! I only did that 'cause of what you said earlier about me calling you sexy. I just wanted to get a reaction out of you!"

Even if it was just a game, I didn't want to play. Sick games like that reminded me of. . .

"_Seto-koi, let's play a little game, shall we? Just lay on your back like a good little boy and-"_

No, now was not the time to remember such things.

"I swear, if you do **anything** like that again, I'll run to that kitchen, get the biggest knife, and hack you to little bits!" His eyes widened at my threat.

I leaned up against his bed, my eyes falling half-lidded. "Do you need help with your homework in any other classes?" I just needed to pretend like none of that ever happened. Those games, I don't like those games. . . **he** never succeeded with those games, and Jounouchi wasn't going to either. . .

"Are you okay?" Was he truly concerned about me?

"Yes, just a bit tired." I slid my eyes shut and heaved a sigh to prove myself.

"It's only eight at night." He scooted to sit next to me.

"Yeah, I know, it's just that I don't get much sleep and I've usually had a view cups of coffee by now."

"Oh, you work late then?"

"Usually. Don't sleep much at home either."

"Why not?" I opened my eyes and he persisted questioning, "Insomnia?" He laughed a bit and I faced him, not at all amused.

"Yeah, something like that. So then, what is there to do now?" I stopped looking him in the eyes for fear that my own might give something away. . . as unlikely as that was. I really was so tired though. I shouldn't have asked to do anything more. In fact, I could feel my eyelids falling heavy.

I think that he said something like "Whatever you want to do" but I had fallen asleep the moment it left his lips.

Such a slumber didn't last for very long. I woke just as I felt myself being laid on a soft mattress. Jounouchi's bed no less. He didn't climb in with me like I suspected, though. I did, however, hear a very quiet zipping noise across the room. It was Jounouchi going through my shit again! Luckily it was just my schoolbooks and whatnot. He had already found my secret bag. Apparently disappointed with his findings, or lack thereof, he zipped it back up and put it precisely how he had found it.

I decided that I ought to let him know I was awake. "Going through my things again?" He spun around in time to see me sitting up, using my arms to hold me there. "If you think you're going to find anything interesting, you're sadly mistaken. You've already found what I would have tried to hide from you." My irritation was probably very evident.

"Sorry, I get too curious for my own good I guess." He frowned, rubbing at the back of his head again. "Did I wake you up?"

"No, it was because of the light." I lied again.

He seemed to daze about yet again and I tilted my head, "Do you think a lot?"

"Yeah. . . why?"

"You just seem kind of lost in your own head a lot of the time. . . of course, I guess that's pretty easy to do with a head as empty as yours." I smirked at my little comment and he laughed.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right."

I looked at his clock, "Still early." My gaze returned to him and my bags, "Perhaps I ought to go ahead and take my medicine so that I don't forget it. . . that certainly wouldn't be very pretty." I smiled half-heartedly.

"Yeah. . . I'll probably go ahead and get my pajamas on."

"You mean your school uniform?" I tilted his head again in mock innocense.

"Yeah, yeah, keep joking rich-boy." He smiled yet again, even though I was teasing him.

"I suppose I'll change too, then." I stood, wandering over to my bags.

He leapt to his feet after a moment of gawking and went to his chest of drawers to retrieve pajamas. . . I headed for the bathroom to change in privacy.

I made sure to lock the door, as I didn't want him to walk in on me or anything. I peeled my shirt away and reached around to feel my back. My memories were there on my skin, embodied as horrible scars from whip lashes. It was hideous, I knew, for I had looked at my back in the mirror often, usually after a hot shower. My whole body was ugly. The scars on my wrists and the scars on my back were just icing on the cake. I was ugly because of what I had allowed to happen to my body. . . what I had allowed those people to do to my body. Why?

I popped open the bottles and dumped out my required dosage of tablets, using the disgusting faucet water to wash down the vile things. This was my life. . . a mask and medication. That was me, forever. I was at the mercy of pills and society. . . and people called me so lucky.

I squirted a pea-sized amount of toothpaste onto my brush (just the amount that the tube says!) And popped it into my mouth, scrubbing at my pearly-whites.

There was a gentle knock at the door.

"What?" I replied, annoyed by his interruption of my thoughts, the toothbrush muffled my speech a bit.

"Why are you changing in the bathroom? You got tits or something?"

I shoved the door open at his taunting, my toothbrush still hanging out of my mouth. "Would it have pleased you if I had changed in front of you?" He grinned and it took me a second to realize just how that sounded, "Never mind, don't answer that." I retreated back into the bathroom to finish my task.

I spit the foamed paste into the sink, using one of his paper cups to rinse my mouth clean.

"Hey Seto?" He began in that childish manner of his.

"Kaiba." I corrected.

"Hey Kaiba?"

"What." A statement, not a question.

"What was that disorder you have again?"

I glared sharply at him. Who the hell did he think he was to bring that topic up again?, "Leave it alone, Jounouchi." I gritted my teeth, trying to hold back my anger.

"I just couldn't remember the name. . ." He wasn't even about to let it go, was he? "Post Traumatic. . ."

I marched past him, already at my tolerance limit, "I say we go to bed early."

As we entered his room, he grabbed me tightly on my right shoulder and roughly spun me around, getting as close to my face as I thought possible, "Yeah, of course you say that! You're just too much of a coward to talk about your disorders! Not my fault you're fucked in the head!"

Fucked in the head. . . yeah, yeah I was. . . and after this, he'd probably tell everyone. Kaiba Seto was fucked in the head. With good reason. . . it was all my fault. I fucked myself up. Without so much as a word to give him the satisfaction he wanted, I lay on his bed, covered myself up with the sheets, and faced the wall.

I could feel the weight shift as he sat next to me on the bed, "Se- Kaiba. . . I didn't mean that. I really don't think that you're fucked up in the head. . . you know, I don't think before I say things." He paused for a moment as though he expected me to say something in reply, "Say something." I only closed my eyes and he huffed, "Fine, be an ass." He got up, apparently leaving the room for who-knows what reason. It wasn't long until he returned. It sounded like he was dragging something, "Kaiba, get up, you're sleeping on the floor."

"Excuse me?" I sat up in a flash. Oh, so he had dragged some pillows and blankets in.

"You heard me. Floor. Now." He pointed at the blankets. Oh, so was **I** supposed to be the dog now?

I studied him to see if this was supposed to be a joke too, "Fine." I slid from the bed.

"No, wait." He really couldn't make up his mind.

"What now?"

There wasn't any time to react. Jounouchi pushed me back onto the bed, "We can share my bed." I struggled against him, but he held me with ease. . . I don't remember him being so strong when last we met.

"Let me go, dammit!"

"Chill out! I'm not going to be weird, I promise."

Again, I was stunned by more strange activity. He leaned over me, turning out the lamp, and then placed a kiss on my forehead. A kiss. On my forehead. From a guy. From a guy named Jounouchi Katsuya. A kiss. On my forehead. On **my **forehead. And yet. . .

"_Goodnight, Seto-koi. . . don't be afraid anymore. I'm here, and I'll protect you from him. I promise, my love. I'll never hurt you. Go to sleep, my precious blue-eyed doll. . ."_

Saki. . . Even now, those words sooth me. The memories of that voice calm me and lull me to sleep every night. . . just as your betrayal kills me a little more each day. With such a gentle memory in my heart, I was able to finally go to sleep. . .

- - -

_It was just like any other day. More men. There were always more. With Kaiba Corporations ridiculous popularity, there was always another deal to be sealed. . . and what better way to do it, or so my atrocious adoptive father believed, than to offer them a lovely teenage boy for the night._

_Lovely? There is nothing lovely about a doll that has been broken and over-used. No one wants a broken doll that cannot be fixed. No one but sick men that want to see if it can be completely shattered._

_Hands. Hands all over my body. Running up and down, up and down. Over and under. . . not a single bit of flesh left untouched. . . not a region of my mind not flooded by thoughts of what was next. I knew what would happen, I always knew. It was the same. Why did I bother fighting? I wanted some sort of dignity. . . If I kept fighting, it wouldn't be my fault, but. . . _

_It was my fault. It was my fault for living, for beating Gozaburo in that chess match all those years ago. _

_The hands persisted, restraining my wrists, my body bare and exposed to their hungry eyes. They were naked from the waist down, not willing to fully strip in front of their toy. Powerful arms spread my legs wide, while men held them tightly in place. Like always, I was secured this way. . . spread eagle on a guest room bed with sweaty older men hovering around me like vultures swarming a fresh carcass. _

_That's all I was really, a fresh piece of meat. 'Beautiful' they would say, 'so absolutely gorgeous', 'so fuckable'. They always said the same things. Perverted older men, no older than my adoptive father, the one I was forced to call 'master' behind closed doors. The hands would rub at me, cocks forcing their way into me anywhere there was space. . . my mouth, sometimes two at a time, my hands, and, their favorite, my ass. 'Such a tight little thing' they would tell me as they penetrated me. _

_Pain. So much pain. Screams that fell on ears that didn't care, or maybe just didn't hear. I could cry, but that would result in only more pain in the end. Don't cry. Don't ever cry. Crying is for the weak. The weak die. Death. . . it really wasn't such a scary thing. . . no, not really such a scary thing._

_But I usually did cry, despite what I wanted to do. I would cry and my body would betray me, arching up to meet their rabid thrusts. No, I didn't want that. . . but like those men, my body didn't care. My body didn't mind the blood that coated my inner thighs or the cum that I coughed up from the depths of my throat or the hands that rubbed and groped and fondled. . . no, I have such an ugly body. So ugly. . . slut. I'm a nasty slut. Always._

_Suddenly, the men were gone. Only the Devil himself remained. The Devil. Kaiba Gozaburo. The whips stretched tightly in his hand. His brows were furrowed angrily. He was angry at me, of course. I cried again. . . I fought again. . . I called out for my mother again. I was only thirteen. I wanted my mother, my father, Mokuba. . . I wanted my friend from my old school. _

_The whip would come down with an unmistakable crack. I would whimper, the blood draining down my back was so easy to feel. A second whip. . . third, fourth fifth. . . before long I would cry, and call out again. I would plead, just as always._

_He pinned my hands above my head, my wrists squeezed tightly in a single hand of his. How was he on top of me so suddenly? When had that happened? But I knew what would happen when he did this to me. . . the same thing that always happened, and I was helpless as always._

_- - -_

"Stop! No! No! Stop!" I could feel my body convulsing and someone was screaming. . . I was screaming. . . such an awful sound. He was going to rape me. . . again. I couldn't do this anymore. Not anymore.

Someone was shaking me. Who was shaking me? Who was calling my name so desperately?

"Wake up! God dammit, Seto, wake up! You're scaring the hell out of me! Please, Seto. . . god, please, wake up, don't cry anymore! Seto, wake up!"

Wake up? Crying? Oh. . . a nightmare. . .

"Jounouchi?" I opened my eyes only to have my fears confirmed, "Jounouchi. . ."

"You scared the hell out of me!" He sounded angry, but he was crying, "Please, don't do that anymore. . ." He collapsed onto me, wrapping his arms around my waist, with his face level with my own.

"Do what?" I wiped at my eyes, trying to play it off as nothing. Yeah, if I just made him look like the crazy one. . .

"You know damn well. . . Your disorder. . ."

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. . . yes." There was a feeling of mutual knowledge then. But one thing still puzzled me, "Why are you crying?"

"Because you worried me. . ." He pressed his face lightly against my left cheek.

"You're strange. . . you hate me, yet you worry about me."

"I don't hate you!" He used his arms to lift himself.

"Yes you do, you despise me." He hated me, I just knew he did.

"I don't hate you, dammit! I l-" We locked eyes, and he never looked so frightened before.

"You what?" A word that begins with the letter 'L'. It was a positive word. . . so that left 'like' and 'love'. . . and I sure as hell hope it wasn't meant to be the latter.

* * *

Yay! NeptuneIceCat just informed me that today is Seto's birthday! So. . .

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAIBA SETO!!!!**

Hahaha! This is my gift. . . a wonderful Seto-angst moment. . . for all of us who love to torture the blue-eyed beauty. Did you all like the Saki quotes? They weren't in the original. . . and the dream sequence? Will that be a good enough juicy scene to tie you all over for awhile? Haha!

Rate and review, my lovelies! Oh, and by the way. . . **well-written emails inspire me to write brilliant chapters. . . don't you agree? HINT HINT.**


	5. Day Two: Taking Notes

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

Say what? Okay, so I said that I wouldn't update this nearly as often. But Melody sent me another email and discussed what this story was for her and how it actually enhanced my storyline. I then looked at it myself! Think of it this way: If I can catch this story up to the other one, you can read it alternately. You know, a chapter of bbe then the mirror. That way, you can **really** see the difference in Jou's assumptions and Seto's thoughts! Is it a genius plan? Haha! **Tell me in your reviews!**

**Disclaimer:** I'll let you know when I save up my pennies to buy Yuugiou.

* * *

**Recap:**

"_I don't hate you, dammit! I l-" We locked eyes, and he never looked so frightened before._

"_You what?" A word that begins with the letter 'L'. It was a positive word. . . so that left 'like' and 'love'. . . and I sure as hell hope it wasn't meant to be the latter._

- - -

He never answered my question. His only reaction was to roll off of me and onto his side, facing away from me; and then all was silent.

The rest of the night, or early morning rather, went by without any more strange occurrences. . .

- - -

I felt something. The feeling was horribly familiar, and not in a good way. I was drifting somewhere between the black of sleep and the light of morning, and wasn't able to open my eyes as I wanted to. Something on my wrist? Tugging at my sleeve? My wrist. . . such ugly things my wrists were, crisscrossed with filthy scars. I was ignorant and stupid for making them. . . no, that isn't what I think. I think I was brave for attempting suicide. . . and stupid for failing. How could I expect to defeat others when I couldn't even defeat myself? Perhaps that is the ultimate failure. . . unable to defeat even your own self.

A hand! Yes, it was clearly a hand now! Wrapped around my wrist! My scars, someone had seen my scars? Who was it? A bed. . . I was in bed. . . a hand around my wrist. . . no, no, no. . .

"Jounouchi?" I was finally able to ask the question, but the name seemed to foreign to me. Jounouchi. . . in a bed with me. . . with his hand around my wrist. My scars. Jounouchi could see my. . .

"What are you doing?" I opened my eyes slowly, as if these feelings would prove false. Surely he wasn't really. . . but he was. His hand was gripping my wrist, his face looking down at me with the emotion of. . . pity fear? I hated both, "Let go of me!"

He released my arm, but sat on top of me, straddling my hips, "Where are those from?"

Okay, play dumb. . . just play dumb, "Where are **what** from?"

"Those scars, the scars on your arm!"

"Which arm?" I tried my best not to make eye contact. My arms. . . my scars. . . my weakness. It was a fit of desperation in which those dreadful marks came about. The blade was cool and sharp against my skin, painful but, so pleasurable. . . and the blood. . .

"What do you mean?" He reached down, roughly seizing my left arm and forcing the sleeve away from my wrist. His facial expressions made it clear that he saw another set of secret slashes, "**More**?! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

This was a dream, a nightmare! It couldn't possibly be happening to me. After those years of hiding them. Long sleeves, arm cuffs, coats. . . anything to keep my arms covered. I even wore wrist-bands during physical education in school. I had learned many useful skills during my years of torturous training. . . and one of them was deception as a tool for getting my way. It was worth a shot, if anything. . . I wasn't a virgin or anything, so what would one more guy be on a list of what could be hundreds? Anything to keep him quiet; anything to keep the world from knowing the truth, "Why, nothing is wrong, Katsuya. . ."

"My name. . ."

"Yes, your name. . . and now forget about those insignificant things and kiss me. . ." Kiss me. . . yes, kiss me. . . am I tempting enough for you? Everyone else thought so. Gozaburo would have me dress in short shorts and showy shirts just to tempt men into business deals. . . can I tempt you into a deal? Temptation, lust. . . disgusting things. . . but there was one who had loved me at one time. . . at least, I believe you loved me at one time. . . didn't you, Saki? Saki. . . whose lips were as soft as the roses in the gardens. . . and he was so gentle. . . gentle up until that day. There will never be another like Saki. . . my Saki. . .

"**What**?! **Kaiba**?!" Oh right, this was Jounouchi Katsuya. . . not my Saki.

"No, no, I am Seto. . . do you want me, Katsuya? You can have me, Katsuya." I wrapped both arms around his neck. . . a feeling that was, again, all-too familiar to me. . . it had been so long. I can't say I missed it. . . especially not being embraced in return. Hold me. . . Saki. . .

"Y-You're trying t-to make me forget a-about your-"

"Hush. . ." I pulled him closer and he quickly closed the gap, crushing our lips together. It was weird and I could feel myself slipping. Is this really what I wanted? This filthy thing that was now laying on top of my body, crushing me against the mattress. . . filthy thing? No, he was clean in this matter; it was **I** who was the filthy one. . . filthy slut.

His hands wandered wildly over my body, up my shirt, and in my hair, forcing my tongue into my mouth. I could scarcely feel these things. They didn't matter. This wasn't what I wanted. . . no, not again. This wasn't the way to solve anything. . . and I knew that very well. Why, after these past few years, would I revert back to something so ugly and so disgusting as this? Why. . .

I froze. No, this definitely wasn't what I wanted. He stopped his actions and pulled away. I couldn't see him, for I had clenched my eyes shut tightly, only opening to wonder what look he was gazing at me with. Hopefully not pity. . . if it were pity, I think I'd die right there.

He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, "You can cry, you know." I started to cry then. . . tears that, like many things in my life, I didn't want. I didn't want to cry in front of him, or even myself. But I did. The tears cascaded down my cheeks as though his words were what created them. He ignored them, continuing to talk, "Why did you say those things when you didn't want them?"

I turned my face away from him. After all, could anyone look somebody in the face after pulling a stunt such as that? No, absolutely not. "You'll never understand. . ." I choked out the words, and cursed myself mentally for sounding so pathetic. I tried to turn off the waterworks, but there wasn't a chance. The saltwater continued to flow, "No one will ever understand. . ." I covered my face to try and hide such a betrayal.

"Then tell me what the hell is going on with you so that I can _try_ to understand!"

"I can't."

"Why the fuck not?!" He grasped my chin and jerked my face in his direction, "Look at me when I'm talking to you, you little bastard!"

His attitude. . . it was almost like Gozaburo's when he said that. To treat me that way! Had this been a few days ago, he would have never said that! Jounouchi used to seem so weak compared to me, and now. . . now he is treating me like some sort of bitch!

"I didn't mean to say that." He retracted quickly.

"Then why did you?" I glanced up at him, wiping the remnants of the tears that had finally ceased.

"I said it because. . ." He paused for a moment, searching for the answer to a question that I knew he couldn't find the answer to. "I guess that hearing it so much got it plastered in my head."

Hearing it so much? His father was the only person he lived with, and the Yuugi clan wouldn't say something like that. "Is he very cruel to you?

"Who?"

"Your father." Geez, he really was a stupid dog.

He sighed, "I'm really not around him all that much."

"But when you are around him. . ."

"He's usually drunk or something so I don't really go near him."

Well, my situation from earlier was long forgotten now. . . so I suppose that my efforts weren't for naught after all. I sat next to him, but left space in between so that my comfort level wouldn't reach an all-time low.

"You know I'm not going to take that for an answer, right mutt?"

"Yeah. . . well, when my dad is sober, he's a pretty good guy, but when he's drunk, he can be a little. . ." He cast a side-glance at me, and I could see him slowly dazing out, as usual.

"Continue."

"Oh, uh, yeah. . . he has a tendency to get a little violent." His voice muted itself towards the end, and his hands rubbed each other nervously in his lap, like a child about to see the doctor.

"I see. . ." He seemed stunned at my answer, but I pretended not to notice, "You don't have to stay here."

"Where the hell am I supposed to go?" He leaned close to me, but I knew he wouldn't do anything.

"Oh, that's right, you have no money." I smiled, trying to lighten the mood with my little joke.

The fucking cur tried to punch me! I was able to evade it though, but not by much. I rolled from the bed and to the floor, standing at my full height in the blink of an eye.

"You tried to hit me. . . why?" I glared down at him, like a stern guardian.

"Because you're making fun of me! You were a lot different yesterday; what the hell happened?!"

"Was I different? I guess that today I'm making up for yesterdays awkward change." I shrugged. Had I been different yesterday? To be honest. . . I couldn't remember much of what had happened yesterday. . . I don't recall being different. Perhaps it was because I cooperated in going somewhere with him? Pfeh, that wouldn't be something to consider 'different'.

"Well you need to change back to that so-called awkward change; you were a hell of a lot more pleasant." He snatched his little notebook off of the night stand beside his bed.

"What are you doing?" I tilted my head in mock curiosity. . . though I was truly a tiny bit interested.

"Writing some notes on what you said and did yesterday. . . oh, and those scars I found this morning." I frowned sitting on his bed. . . so he hadn't forgotten after all. . . but I suppose it wouldn't be easy to forget. He probably felt good about knowing my secret, "What? Did you think your attempt to seduce me had made me forget?"

"I wasn't trying to seduce you."

"Then you want to tell me what you'd call that?"

"Not really. . ." I glanced down at his notebook, but he turned it from my view. We finally made eye contact, "What made you yell at me earlier?"

"Something that I was used to, I guess."

"Well, perhaps that is my reason as well." I tapped my fingers on my legs during the silence that followed, "Perhaps I should be taking notes on **you** as well."

I slid down onto the floor, crawling across towards my bags on the floor. Was it wrong to feel too lazy to actually go to the trouble of standing up just to walk a few feet? I really didn't see the point in it. . . perhaps Jounouchi was right. . . I **was** acting differently.

"Stop looking at my ass." I sat next to my suitcases and glared in his general direction.

"Well, don't crawl around like that. Crawling on all fours and swinging your hips is like jumping up and yelling for people to check out your ass."

I tried not to seem freaked out by him being so openly honest, "We're both guys."

"So?"

It was time to end the conversation. I unzipped my computer case and removed my laptop. After finding an outlet in the rat-cage of a room, I plugged my beloved machine in and started it up, taking comfort in the gentle hum of the fan. The light of the screen was also a comfort. I felt at ease. This was my environment, right here. . . just me and a computer. . . that was all I ever really needed to be completely content.

"You're going to take your notes on your computer?" He asked the question as though my actions were strange or something.

"Yes. I'm going to use my computer to type up the paper, so I might as well take my notes on here too." I began by putting a title on the thing, which was a generic 'Jounouchi Katsuya' at the moment. Perhaps a creative streak would bite my ass later and something great would come up. Whatever. He tried to look at my notes (which really didn't exist yet, but it never hurt to pretend). I pulled the computer to my chest, hiding it from view, "No, no. I couldn't see your notebook, so you can't see my computer. Shoo mutt."

"Fine!" He crawled back across the room to do whatever the hell he was going to do. Finally leaving me to my thoughts.

Where to begin? I decided that a list format would be the best way to go about such a thing. I clicked on the bullet icon. His apartment's condition seemed to be of some importance. I could tell the moment that I walked in that it had just been cleaned, and the 'lemony-fresh' scent in the bathroom was proof. He was trying to cover up how he usually lived. Shame. Jounouchi was very ashamed of his living conditions. The couch reeked of cigarette smoked and cheap perfume. There were stains in the carpet that I didn't want to even begin to guess at.

Then there was his father. A typical drunken fuck that beat on his kid because he was such a sorry sap. I hated drunks. . . though I would admit that getting drunk was, in itself, a wonderful feeling. . . until morning came and it was time for a hangover. What about his mother and sister though? I had met his sister for all of about ten seconds back during battle city. What was her name? Sakuza? Shikuza? Sakura? Ah hell, who gives a fuck about some dumb broads name?

"Why don't you have friends?" My fingers couldn't help but stop working. What kind of fucking answer was that?

"Because they die." I began typing again. I hadn't mean to have said that. The answer had just come out so naturally. Perhaps he wouldn't ask about it.

He started scribbling down some sort of nonsense. For fucks sake, this wasn't a therapy session! Whatever. I returned to my writing, only to find that I really didn't have much else to say. Hm. . . well, perhaps his father's abuse is the reason he has become such a tough-guy. . . well, he tries to be one, anyways. It doesn't take much to knock a drunk man down.

"Seto?" He interrupted again, and I glanced up at him.

"What, Jounouchi?"

"Where is Saki now?"

I pursed my lips. Why in the hell would he bring Saki up? I didn't want to talk about Saki, "I wouldn't give a flying fuck whether he were ground up and scattered in my backyard or living it large in fame. . . what's passed is passed, and he was certainly a part of the past." It took everything in my power to say that. Saki, my Saki. . . ugh, I wanted to forget him forever. . . but that wasn't possible.

"Did you love him?"

"Jounouchi, that's really –"

"None of my business? So that's a yes then." He smirked, acting as though he were going to write it down.

"I never said yes."

"But you tried to keep from answering, a sure sign of guilt. Did you and Saki have a relationship?"

"Why do you want to know? So you can make a laughing joke of me? So my name will be in tabloids all over the world?!" I could feel the heat and blood rising into my cheeks. That fucking little bastard. . . it wasn't his fucking business!

"Kaiba, no one really cares what sexuality anyone is anymore. It's alright if you had a relationship with Saki. There's a guy that has won my heart as well." He was saying that so openly! I didn't want to hear about his sick crushes!

"Get a girl." It was all I could come up with in that instant.

"I. . . don't want to."

"I think that this is a good place to end this conversation and pretend that it never happened."

"_I don't hate you, dammit! I l-"_

No, couldn't be.

"You never answered my question."

I sighed. Anything to shut him the hell up. "Yes, Jounouchi, we were in a very short-lived relationship. It's over now, and never got very far. . . and it ended horribly."

"Yet you enjoyed every minute of it, right?" He smiled at me.

Enjoyed every minute? Every month, every week, every day, every hour, every minute, every second, every kiss, every smile, every hug. . . everything about him, I enjoyed it. I could fee myself smiling, but I didn't care. I had love him. I loved his existence, and gave my heart very willingly to him. . . even though he was seven years older than me. . . but perhaps the age difference only added to my love. . . I had someone to look after me while I looked after my little brother. . . arms to run to when I was hurting. . .

I could hear myself chuckling like a schoolgirl. . . but it wasn't a happy laugh. . . it was more of a 'God-help-me-before-I-lose-my-fucking-mind-oh-shit-I-already-have' kind of laughter. I wonder if he could pick all of that up. . . doubtful.

"Yeah, I did." I covered myself for fear of going insane. "I'm acting so weird, I can't seem to figure out why." I really was. Ugh, it was awful! I couldn't find my natural attitude anywhere inside of me. It was the air, I decided to conclude.

"You're usually an asshole."

"Yeah, I know. . . but that's how it should be."

"How it should be?"

"Yeah, no one wants to go near an asshole."

"You don't want people near you?"

"People are dangerous." He frowned, "They only cause trouble for me." It was true. All rich and famous people would say the same thing, especially when they're as naturally good-looking as myself.

He began the scribble into that book of his. About what? About Saki? About my strange behavior? Both things ought to be off limits! Then again, I told him willingly. . . about my love.

"Jounouchi. . ."

"What?" He looked up from his notes.

"You're not really going to write about all of that, are you?" I stared into his amber eyes, trying my best to stare him down.

"Of course I am, why else would I ask you? Writing about the other persons life is the whole goal of this project."

"What if she makes us read them aloud?" The thought made me tremble slightly, "Jounouchi, I'd rather keep my personal life just that; personal."

"I know what you mean Seto, but-"

"Kaiba."

"Alright _buddy, _let's get something straight here; we're going to be living together for two weeks, and I think we should be on a first name basis. Using surnames is too formal for me." He lay his notebook on the floor face-down beside him.

"Jounouchi, using first names implies closeness and friendship, which you and I have neither of the two." I gave the blond the most intense glare I could muster, but he didn't even flinch.

"Aww. . . come on Seto." Okay, now he was just **trying** to piss me off.

"Kaiba."

"Seto."

"Kaiba!" I leaned forward, clenching my fists.

He laughed wildly, thoroughly enjoying this, "Seto!"

"Dammit Jounouchi!"

He smirked, "Katsuya."

"Fine," I sat back and sighed, closing my eyes in annoyance, "Katsuya."

"Good." He retrieved his notebook once more and pulled his knees toward himself, "Now then, what were we discussing?"

"How much this project sucks." I put my right palm against my forehead, rubbing at my temples slightly to try and remedy the headache that threatened to begin.

"Oh yeah!"

"Have you seen how thick that packet is?" I pulled the packet from hell out of a bag behind me, "I've yet to even read the damn thing."

"Yeah, Bakura said something about that during lunch on Friday."

"Bakura?" The name was slightly familiar, but. . . nope, didn't ring any bells in my mind.

"The evil twin of Ryou."

"Ryou?" Ugh, another name that was almost familiar. Ryou. . . Bakura. . . Bakura Ryou. . . hmm. . . well that was a bit more familiar.

"The shy boy with white hair. . . he was at Duelist Kingdom, Battle City-"

"Oh, right, Ryou. . . he was fucking weird. . ." Yeah, the morbid one. Freak.

"Yeah. . ." There was an awkward silence. "Anyways! Let's see what this thing says!" He snatched the papers from my fingers, after much stretching, and held it up, flipping through it momentarily, "Yeah, one of the requirements is family life and childhood. Sorry buddy, but it looks like you're screwed."

"So it does. . ." I think my disappointment was evident on my face, "What else is required?" Not that I gave a damn.

"Um. . . it says _'Students must be sure to include important topics such as follows: Family life, childhood, life-changing events, and any other facts that are of importance in their life. Also include a passage in which the student discusses their current self and what influenced them to become who and what they are today. Plans for the future are also to be discussed.'_ Well, looks like we have a lot of work to do."

I was laying on the floor by the time he finished, covering my face with my hand. That woman was fucking crazy. It were almost as if this project was made specifically to get me to spill the beans.

"Anything else?" I asked, though I wanted 'no' for an answer.

"Well," I could hear him flip the page, "There's going to be a cookout up at the park next Saturday, says that attendance is mandatory."

"What the hell?" I uncovered my face, cocking a brow at him. A cookout? What the fuck?

Jounouchi shook his head, blond hair tossing to and fro, "No clue. Heh, if you thought that was bad, you ought to hear this."

"Oh no, do I really want to hear this?"

"Nope, but I'm going to tell you anyways!"

"Should have seen that coming, damn mutt."

"There's going to be a ropes course for everyone to go up on."

". . ." What. The. Fuck.

"Says it's to _'test our cooperation as partners.' _"Again, he looked at me as though my reaction were a sort of prize to be won.

"That woman is insane." I rolled over onto my back, bending my legs at the knees and clasping my hands together over my stomach, leaning my head back to make eye contact with him. Wow, it was so much easier to see without the hair all in my eyes.

He nodded, "Finally we agree on something."

"Does that ungodly thing happen to list any other random shit?" I had pretty much heard everything now. . . there couldn't be much else to surprise me.

"Um. . ." He flipped through the pages, "Not that I can tell."

"Good." I allowed for my eyes to fall shut. Two weeks with this fool, "Only day two and already I'm miserable."

"Gee, thanks." He muttered sarcastically, "You know, you're a lot different here than you are when Yuugi and the others are around. . . I mean, I know I keep bring that up and all, but you really do. It amazes me, I guess."

"Is that an issue? I can always go back to being an asshole again." I huffed an irritated sigh, "I'm only trying to make this experience as pleasant as possible." I was still kind of tired. . .

"I guess that makes sense. . . and no, it's not an issue; I like it this way."

I could feel his eyes on me and I returned to my computer, deciding to check my e-mail, which was likely filled with shit for work. I hated answering the damned things, and being here was going to hinder my response time and allow for the things to pile up and form a cyber mountain. Wow. . . if that wasn't the most retarded description **ever**, and on something as insignificant as an e-mail inbox. . . what a waste.

"Are you **still** writing about me?"

"No, I'm answering e-mails and things of that sort for Kaiba Corporation." I paused for only a moment, "I'm trying not to get behind in my work."

"That's cool. . ." I could hear him sigh, "Are you hiring?"

"Not someone like you." My retort came at a rather amusing speed.

"Asshole."

"Thank you." I smirked, continuing the dreary work.

"Smile again." The look on his face was just weird. How could I describe it? It was like when a magician performed the impossible and then the child wanted to see him do it again. It was like that, but being that Jounouchi was eighteen, it was just plain creepy.

"Why?"

"Because you have a beautiful smile." Was he serious?

"Stop saying things like that." I was beginning to feel even more uneasy.

"Why? Would you rather me lie to you and say that your smile is ugly?" He had a valid point, but. . .

"But I'm a guy! Would you say something like that to Yuugi?" Yeah! Would he say something like that to anyone else?

"Nah, I'd feel like a pedophile if I said that to Yuugi. . . And about us both being guys, I don't think that has ever stopped **you** before, judging by your past relations with that Saki guy."

I frowned, clenching my hands into fists in an attempt to control my anger, "We had a short-lived relationship, but you know nothing about it, so don't even bother to bring it up." I tried to keep my fuse from burning up.

"I know that he was your best friend, boyfriend. . . lover perhaps?" I shouldn't have, but I let my eyes fall downcast as he voice such things. . . yes, he was, he was. . . that wasn't true anymore though. I could feel my fingers twiddling together against my mental will. . . and Jounouchi kept right on running his mouth "I know that he raped you."

There are boundaries, borderlines that are never ever to be crossed. . . and the only one who didn't seem to have the ability to see such boundaries was named Jounouchi Katsuya. . . who's life was currently at risk by a blinding rage that now engulfed me.

_

* * *

_

Yay! Was that fun? Don't you all dare even expect something like this to happen frequently! I just want to catch this story up with the other one. . . the chapters are just so long though!

I noticed that when I am in Seto's point of view, I tend to use a ton of '. . .' in between sentences. Doesn't it just seem like his style? I don't know. I guess I figured that it made things flow better. . . and if you don't like it? Bite me! Haha, just kidding. Let me know what you all think. . . this one isn't as good as chapter four, considering there isn't a dream sequence. Please take the time to compare this one with the original so that you can catch the important differences.

Thanks! Rate and review, my lovelies!


	6. Day Two: Murderer

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

_

* * *

_

I'm very disappointed with the number of reviews I'm getting for this story. **If you like it, review it.** As a writer, I can only tell if someone likes it by how many reviews I get. . . besides, isn't it common courtesy to give a writer your input? The least you can do is leave me a cheery comment for my work. I'm sorry to sound like a whiney child, but it isn't exactly a quick process to write a story like **_Behind Blue Eyes_** and then to go back and completely change the point of view. So please, please, **please** review each chapter you read! Yes, I'm begging now!

Anyways, to those of you that always review, I love you much! And for that, you all get connectable Jou and Seto plushies! (I'll let your imagination tell you where they connect.)

**Disclaimer:** Do I really need this? Does anyone read this? What a waste of space! It takes up valuable Seto-molestation time! Anyways. . . I don't own it, and never will.

* * *

**Recap:**

"_I know that he was your best friend, boyfriend. . . lover perhaps?" I shouldn't have, but I let my eyes fall downcast as he voice such things. . . yes, he was, he was. . . that wasn't true anymore though. I could feel my fingers twiddling together against my mental will. . . and Jounouchi kept right on running his mouth "I know that he raped you." _

_There are boundaries, borderlines that are never ever to be crossed. . . and the only one who didn't seem to have the ability to see such boundaries was named Jounouchi Katsuya. . . who's life was currently at risk by a blinding rage that now engulfed me._

- - -

I could've beat the shit out of him. Hell, there are a million things that I could have done right about then. I pondered many of my options for a long while. The tears that had been betraying me so frequently as of late didn't threaten by eyes at all this time. I was past upset, I was past furious. . . words could not describe the absolute hatred I was feeling, and yet. . . was it really hate?

There was nothing that I could say, nothing that I could do to express what I wanted to get across. He just stared up at me like a dog that had just shit on the carpet, and I was the master whom had just arrived home to find the little 'present'. Yeah, that's what he was. . . a stupid dog.

I turned away from him, and left the room. I could still feel his eyes burning into my back as I retreated down the hall. I just needed to distance myself from him. I'd likely kill him if I let my blood boil for too long. Yeah. . . that was a good solution. Kill the problem and then hide it. I couldn't just kill Jounouchi though. . . he reminded me of. . .

_His hair was the softest blond in all of Domino, and his playful brown eyes were enough to bring out anyone's soft side. His laugh made others smile and his smile brought tears to their eyes. His father was rich. . . rich like my adoptive father Gozaburo. . . that is how we met. . . yes, I remember him very well. He was. . . he was my absolute best friend. His name. . . _

No, such things weren't important now and they never would be. Friends, pfeh. What a joke. Friends only existed as a weakness to each other. Mokuba was a weakness for me, but he would be the only weakness that I would allow myself to endure. Mokuba was my brother, my friend, my life, and the only one I will ever need. That boy from so long ago was not important any longer, and he never should have been.

My stomach gurgled at me, a rather embarrassing noise to be heard. It was still morning, even as late as it felt (Hey, I'm used to getting up around four in the morning), and so breakfast was definitely in order.

I wandered into the kitchen, my feet cold against the cheap linoleum. The pots and pans looked as though they had been thrown into the cabinet in which they were kept. Apparently Jounouchi had missed certain things while he cleaned up in preparation for my arrival. No one was perfect, but Jounouchi couldn't be farther from it.

I scrounged around in the depths, metal clanging loudly against metal until I found a skillet that I dubbed fit for cooking my breakfast with. How was it the best? Well, considering it was the only one that appeared to have been washed before being put away, it was good enough.

Pulling an egg, that I had bought for that fucking asshole, from the fridge, I cracked it on the edge and dumped the insides onto the skillet, using a spatula (which I had to clean God-only-knows-what off of before I used it) to scramble it.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw an unwanted tuft of blond hair enter the room with and annoying boy attached to it. He was obviously trying to sneak in unnoticed, studying me as though I were some rabid animal about to attack. I ignored him, however, and he simply stood far behind me in silence. Perhaps he'd stay quiet forever. . . yeah, and I'd fail all of my classes, pfeh.

"Seto. . ."

"Shut up." Wow, I hadn't even registered he had spoken to me before my mouth did all the work. My reflexes were amazing. . . but. . . I felt kind of bad. Why in the hell should I feel bad? He's the one that said such awful things to me! However. . . if I act as though I'm very bothered by his comment, then that would mean he upset me. . . which would mean he finally beat me. . . no way in hell! "Would you like something to eat, Jounouchi?" I said it in the most fake-sweet voice I could muster.

"Y-yes please." Haha! The pathetic cur was stumbling over his words now! Was he truly afraid of me? What a weak mongrel he was!

Once finished, I turned the burner off and took my plate of egg to the table, "Alright, I left the stove on for you." I smirked. I was so smart, and so wonderful at getting even. Hadn't Jounouchi already learned that? I am Seto Kaiba.

I sprinkled a small bit of pepper atop my food and began to eat immediately.

The dumb blond stared at my plate for a long while, his brown eyes seeming to zone out as though he were actually thinking for a change. . . and he may have been doing just that, because all of a sudden he marched over from his standing place and plopped down into the chair directly across from me.

"Hey Kaiba!"

The noise from his voice startled me a bit, but I dismissed the thought of it, "Leave me alone, Jounouchi."

"No! You're just mad at me because something that I said came out the wrong way! We're here to do a project, and we have done nothing but bicker and fight! From now on, it's all about the project, got it?!"

I gave him a long, hard stare, trying to determine whether he were serious or not. . . my better judgement told me he was talking out of his ass. I took another bite of my meal, "Whatever you say, mutt."

"Oh, and don't call me a mutt." He folded his arms across his chest.

"You aren't my master, pup."

"Wanna fight for it?"

"Didn't we do that during Duelist Kingdom?" Oooh, that's it, bring up something he hates.

"I've been working out since then. I'd like a rematch." He stood from the table and began cracking his knuckles in an attempt to intimidate me, like he was some sort of badass or something.

"Not now, punk, eat breakfast. . ." I smirked before adding, "I'll kick your ass later."

"Yeah, we'll see about that." He grinned, heading towards the fridge to get whatever he was going to eat. . . two eggs and an unopened pack of bacon?

"You're not going to eat **all** of that bacon, are you?" The smirk hadn't faded from my face, and at the moment, I didn't really feel like wiping it off. Picking on him was just too fun.

"Oh, I'm sorry," His sarcastic tone was obvious, "Were you going to eat some?"

Without doing much thinking, I made a pig noise in the back of my throat. Apparently that surprised him, for his whirled around in a heartbeat and dropped the eggs and bacon onto the floor. The bacon was safe, however the eggs were now puddles of sticky mess on his kitchen floor.

The two of us stared at if for a few silent seconds before proceeding to laugh ridiculously about it. It wasn't even really that funny, but for some reason I felt the urge to laugh at him, and so I didn't bother to repress the feeling. I had my hand hovering just inches in front of my mouth, but it didn't do the job of covering my face.

He had apparently stopped laughing before I did, and I felt a bit stupid when I quit as well and the room was totally soundless.

Jounouchi's eyes lit up and he stepped behind me, his face dangerously close to my right ear. His breath made me freeze. . . I hated the weird sensation I got from hot breath on my ear.

"Guess what, richboy."

"Uh. . . what?"

I yelped loudly as he quickly slapped my ass and yelled, "You're it!" And then took off out of the room.

If he was looking for a way to piss me off, he had found it. The sound of our feet pounding against the carpet filled the room as I fled after him into the living area. We circled around the room, running through the kitchen twice or three time. . . I wasn't really counting. . . until it finally led back into his bedroom, where he seemed to have lost his speed. I grabbed his shoulder to end the game.

"I win. . . or, you're it. . . or whatever." I was panting now, out of breath from running. I wasn't really used to running. I only ever really ran when either Mokuba or I were in some sort of danger.

He turned around, a mischievous glint in his amber eyes. . . yeah, about the 'being in danger' thing. . . I flashed a grin and took off running back the way I came.

I stopped in the kitchen, leaning over the table and using my arms to prop myself up. I decided to catch my breath, since I couldn't hear him following me. I had to admit, it was kind of fun. . . fun? Damn, I was losing it.

I felt my own breath hitch as arms snaked around my waist. When in the hell had he come in here? My heaving panting must have covered up his footsteps. Then I realized that we were no longer playing an innocent game of tag. . . we were playing. . . **that** game. I felt myself fading quickly, and tried to clear my head. This wasn't happening.

I could feel something hard rubbing up against my backside, and I could do nothing but hope that it **wasn't** what I thought it was. Again, I froze.

I tried to stand up, to play this all off as part of some twisted joke. . . which it probably was. . . but a stern hand forced me back down against the table.

"No." Jounouchi's voice was quiet, but serious.

"What?" I questioned, not exactly sure I had heard him properly.

"I said **no**."

"Alright mutt, joke's over." Again I tried to stand and again he pushed me down.

"I'm not joking." The hand lifted from my back and moved to my chest, rubbing frightening circles that traveled lower and lower. . . but he had made the mistake of loosening his grip. I didn't play this fucking game. With every ounce of power in my body, I turned roughly, shoving my hands against him and sending him sprawling to the floor.

My hands fell down at my sides as I glared into his eyes, a look that usually sent my opponents scampering away.

"Pay-backs are hell, rich-boy." He growled, climbing slowly to his feet and rubbing his chest where I had shoved him.

"What I just **did** was pay-back, mutt."

"Oh really?" He inched toward me, but I wasn't about to scoot away. "So you think this is over then?"

"For your safety, it had better be over."

"Oh? You care about my safety now? How thoughtful." I glared at his sarcasm, but he didn't really seem to give a damn, "I'll have you know that if I so much as wanted to, I could take you right here, right now." I narrowed my eyes, wondering what he meant by that. "And," He continued, "I really **do** want to." He closed the gap between us, reaching up to grasp the collar of my pajama shirt. I pulled violently at his hands, clutching his wrists and yanking at them. . . but to no avail.

"Get the fuck away from me!" I clenched my eyes tightly shut, trying to will this all away. I didn't like this fucking game! This game, this game! This game he plays with me! The game **he** always played with me. . . I kicked my legs wildly against him as he shoved me back against the table.

"What's the matter, _Seto_? I thought you could kick my ass! You told me we'd duke it out later; well, now's the time for it!" He pushed me down against the table until it hurt me from bending to far backward, "You know, it wouldn't hurt so bad if you put your legs up." He couldn't possibly be suggesting that I. . . he was. The monster grinned, "I'd be happy to throw them over my shoulders for you, my beauty." Wrenching my fingers away from himself, he pinned my hands above my head.

This position. . . it was all-too familiar. . . never on a table before. . . but this position. Make it stop. . . please make them stop. . . no! It was getting so dark. . . so dark. . .

"This isn't funny, Jounouchi!" This had to end, and now.

"Who said I was trying to be funny?"

He looked me up and down like I were some piece of meat laid out for dinner. My body began to shake on it's own. This couldn't be happening. . . I was still asleep, I was dreaming, this wasn't really going on. Jounouchi wouldn't do this to me. . . he wasn't capable of something so awful, so terrible, so cruel.

Jounouchi Katsuya leaned down, planting kisses all along my body. Lips on my body. . . all over my body. Hands. . . hands all over my body, wandering, touching, grabbing, pulling. . . my body was not my own.

"Stop it. . . Stop it. . ."

No, they never kissed me. . . my rapists never kissed me. . . only one ever kissed me. . . Saki, Saki kissed me. . . he smiled and he kissed me and he caressed me. . . and he smiled as he raped me. . . he smiled when I yelled. . . he smiled when I begged for him to stop. . . and his silenced me with kisses. Why wouldn't he wait until I was ready? Why Saki? Why? Saki. . . Saki. . . Saki. . .

"**Stop it Saki!!**"

I could see his face. . . that beautiful face, those welcoming eyes. . . and embrace so warm that no chill or wind could make me shake. In his arms, I was safe. . . at one time, I was safe. . . he was my greatest enemy of all. I wanted to make love to him, so much. . . but I couldn't. How could a slut like myself expect to make love to someone and have it mean anything? Those men who had taken me against my will. . . how could anything like that be important to me?

"I love you. . . why won't you wait?" I asked his image. . . but the image said nothing.

"Love who?" Ah! He spoke. . . Saki spoke to me. . . he sounded different, why? No, that didn't matter. How could he not know who I love?

"You! I love you, you ungrateful son of a bitch!" I thrashed wildly at him in anger.

"Why Seto?"

I looked up sadly into his grey eyes, "Why Saki?" No wait. . . his brown eyes. . . no, Saki had. . .

"Jounouchi?" I rubbed at my face, "What the hell?!" I shoved him away when I realized my position. The two of us were on the floor, my body flush up against his own as we sat on our knees. . . well, he was sitting and I was kind of leaning against him pathetically. . . and he was. . . crying? Why?

"Seto, you have to stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Going away like that."

"Huh?" I rubbed my head and stood. I had dazed out again. . . but I could just play it off like last time. No point in looking like a schizophrenic or whatever.

"You keep thinking I'm Saki."

I pursed my lips, what exactly had I said aloud? "You are **nothing** like Saki." That was a fact.

"I was going to rape you." He stood, daring to face me, "I had you bent backward over the table, and I was going to ravish you, Seto Kaiba. . . but," He turned away from me, probably because my jaw had dropped to the floor, "Then you started to freak out. . . and now I think I understand why." Again he faced me, "Saki really **did** rape you, and you really **did** love him." I spun around to leave immediately, but he stopped me, "Stop running away from this, Seto! You need to tell me what really happened between the two of you! If you keep bottling everything up inside you, no one will ever be able to help you! You can't always keep a mask on to hide the real you!"

I narrowed my eyes, "Practice what you preach, Katsuya." I really don't think he would have raped me. . . it was probably some sort of trick to make me zone out. . . yeah, that's it.

"What?"

"You say that I shouldn't wear a mask, shouldn't keep everything to myself. . . and yet you do the exact same thing."

"W-what makes you think that?"

"Of the hundreds of thousands of things that I **am**, 'stupid' isn't one of them." I paced out into the living room, the dog following in my shadow, "Look at this place. I can tell that it was recently cleaned, judging from the fresh lines in the carpet made by a vacuum. I'm guessing that you did that on Friday so that it wouldn't be in complete shambles by the time I arrived. Other than that, this room reeks of cigarette smoke and whiskey. . . I've been to enough bars in my lifetime to know what an alcoholics home would smell like." I looked at him, and he was studying his own living quarters with a new outlook, "I don't see why you stay here."

"Because. . ." He bit his lip, "Because he's my dad, and I care about him, no matter how awful he can be."

"You love him. . ."

"Yeah."

". . . even though he hurts you." Jounouchi glanced up at me, apparently understanding my unspoken comparison, ". . . because you care about him that much." Yes, Jounouchi understood my problem because he understood his own.

I pursed my lips again and sat on the couch, coughing a bit when a horrible scent of cheap perfume was emitted into the air. I tried to let it pass without notice, "Sometimes when you love someone, it doesn't matter what they do, and it often feels like it is your fault that those things happen. . . you feel like you are allowing them to hurt you. . . and, in a sense, you really **are** allowing for them to hurt you. . . but the fact that they **are** hurting you isn't your fault. They are just taking advantage of the fact that you love them so much. . . and are hurting you on their own free will. It is never your fault if someone hurts you, even if you were to taunt them to the point of such an action. . . unless you are literally controlling their mind and forcing them to beat you, shun you, rape you. . . it is **never** your fault." He looked up at me. I felt like a fucking therapist. . . but who was I giving advice to? Jounouchi or. . . myself? His mouth was gaping. "Well? Am I right?"

"I. . . I . . . I . . . you're. . . wow."

"You asked. . ." I began to unbutton my shirt. If we were going to be all open and shit, I may as well give it my all. ". . . about my scars." The shirt slid from my shoulders, and the blond sat down next to me. "And I guess. . . it is only fair that I incorporate them into this." I turned my hands over, palm-up, exposing my hideously-marred wrists, "Some of these were my own doing. . . I did it not because I wanted attention, not because I thought it'd be fun, but because I hated myself. . . I hated myself for letting people hurt me. . . it took me a long time to realize that they were taking advantage of my love for my brother, Mokuba. Once I realized that it was their own sickness that made. . . _things_. . . happen, I stopped hurting myself because I no longer felt that I deserved it. I wasn't the awful creature that I had thought I was. . . I was a child that loved his family more than anything in the world, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. . . and so they continued to hurt me, but I knew that only **they** were in the wrong."

"Who. . . are. . . who are _they_?"

"The ass-fuck that ruined my life, Gozaburo, and his business cronies." I sighed and leaned back. Why was I telling him all of this? "But that is a whole story within itself that I'd really rather not get into right now."

"Seto. . ."

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry. . ."

"I don't want your pity."

"No, I mean. . . I'm sorry about what I said before. . . I just assumed that you had a perfect life, and I said cruel things to you, and I almost r-r. . ."

"Let it go. . . let it go before I beat the shit out of you, and believe me, I **will**."

"Yeah. . . I guess I get a little carried away sometimes. . . don't you ever do that? You mean for something to be one way and it ends up to an extreme?" He glanced up at me. . . he looked so young. . . and I felt so old.

I grinned a grin that I hadn't meant to show. Heh, had I ever gotten carried away? More carried away than most people that walk the earth, "Yeah, it has happened before. . . but I didn't stop myself." I could only grin more at the memory.

"What exactly did you do?" He sounded a bit on edge. . . but hey, he had good reason too.

"You wouldn't believe me even if I were to tell you." And that was true. Who would believe that the CEO of a popular gaming company would actually be a murderer? Who would **want** to believe that?

"I bet I would." He just had to argue against everything.

"I killed someone." I always liked a blunt approach to things. . . and as I searched his eyes for emotion, shock was dominant. How wonderful. I knew he wouldn't believe me.

"What?"

"I intentionally killed a man. . . and got away with it." I closed my eyes, "Your reaction isn't a surprise. You think that I'm such an ass, but not someone low enough to take another person's life." I cast a side glance at him briefly before staring at the hands I had clasped together in my lap, "Well, I know that you have questions; go ahead and ask."

He hesitated for a moment, "How. . . how old were you?"

"Sixteen."

"The same year that your step-father. . ." Jounouchi's eyes rivaled the size of Yuugi's. I didn't think his face was big enough. He had quickly been able to put two and two together though. I would have congratulated him, had the situation not been so awkward. "You killed your. . . you killed your. . ." Wow, he was really freaking out.

"My step father?" I could feel a wicked expression of self-satisfaction spread across my face as I looked him in the eyes, "Yes. I pushed him out of the window of his office in Kaiba Corp. It was simple! I had originally just intended to beat the shit out of him. . . perhaps break a limb or two, but he just so happened to stand right in front of the window, and why miss out on such a wonderful opportunity?" I tilted my head a bit, "Of course, the records will tell you that he committed suicide."

"How?"

"How did I do it? It was rather simple, actually. Using the hacking techniques I learned from one of those ridiculously large books I was given. . . you see, I needed to learn how to hack just in case I needed information from any database in the world. . . I hacked into my step father's e-mail account and sent a message to the head of security, asking him to shut the cameras off for approximately one hour starting at three o'clock in the afternoon. I'm sure that such an order seemed very odd, but being the highly-paid employee that the man was, he didn't ask questions and did as asked. . . such a strange request also gave police more evidence towards the suicide idea. . . anyways, it was a piece of cake after that." I smiled proudly and sighed, "I went up to Gozaburo's office, pretending just to be on my way for yet another lesson in managing Kaiba Corporation. No one was suspicious of it, for it was a natural occurrence. After entering, I made quick work of the man, threatening to do horrible things to him, and him trying to intimidate me in return. . . but that day had been one of the worst of my life, and there wasn't a damn thing that that old fucker could do to stop me! The moment I saw the chance, I charged him with every ounce of power in my thin body and crashed into him, knocking him backward and off balance. . . straight through the glass. . . and he then proceeded to plummet to his instant death."

"That's sick!" He leapt from his seat, apparently no longer able to hold back his disgust and fear, "You're a fucking killer! You ought to be behind bars!"

"No. . . if you knew how that man was, you would have done the same, if not worse."

"Then you'd best start explaining!"

"Perhaps another day."

"I said **now**!" He stomped his foot like a child and glared down at me. . . I was surprised he would even attempt to intimidate me after hearing all of that. What a dumbass.

"I'd rather not go into that today. . . it's one of my worst secrets. . . and I'd like to leave it alone for awhile. . . Please, Jounouchi."

He felt silent and sat back down next to me. He scooted close as I watched him and. . . and he. . . he cupped my face in his hands, probably about to say something to make me feel better. . . or so I thought. . . but no. . .

Jounouchi Katsuya leaned forward swiftly and captured my lips in a chaste, yet gentle kiss.

* * *

According to the original chapter, I had written it during the holidays last year. . . so it was nearly a year ago that I posted the original. Now that you have finished reading the mirror, **go and read the original and compare them!** That is my knew goal. I'm going to get this one caught up to the other and update them in pairs. . . they need to be compared in order for them to have the full effect that I want them to have. Thank you for reading! Expect a new chapter the moment I can! Check back **frequently**! 


	7. Day Two: Confuse Me

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

Hooray for the new chapter! There were some concerns about the last chapter that I would like to clear up.

**Important Note: **It got a bit confusing in the last chapter where Seto begins to have memories of 'a boy with blond hair and brown eyes' that wasn't Jounouchi. Some people were confused, thinking that it was Saki with different colorings. NO. That person is not Jounouchi and it is not Saki. It is a character that has already been introduced in the other story. . . haha, if that isn't an obvious hint, I don't know what is!

Enjoy chapter seven!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Surprising, right? (Yeah, it's the same disclaimer as in the original chapter, lmao)

* * *

**Recap:**

_He felt silent and sat back down next to me. He scooted close as I watched him and. . . and he. . . he cupped my face in his hands, probably about to say something to make me feel better. . . or so I thought. . . but no. . ._

_Jounouchi Katsuya leaned forward swiftly and captured my lips in a chaste, yet gentle kiss_.

- - -

_Warm lips against my own. Yes, Saki's lips were always so soft and gentle and warm against my skin. Whenever he left trails of kisses across my body, I would shiver where the heat of his lips would retreat. . . and when he kissed my lips, I wanted him to stay there forever, just like that, holding my lips against his own. It was the most wonderful feeling, the most secure feeling in my life at that time. . . Saki is so kind to me. I began leaning against that strong, hot body of his in hopes that he would embrace me just as he always did. . ._

_. . . but he pulled away from me, and my body shivered as it hungered for more of his touch. I opened my eyes, and I could see him walking away from me. . . why was Saki leaving me? There was no one here to get between us._

"_Don't stop. . . don't. . . don't go away. . ." All I could do was beg him to stay with me, "Saki. . ."_

_I watched Saki stop in his tracks and turn back to me. Yes, that was it, just come back to me and don't ever leave me, Saki. I felt his large, soft hands on my body as he lay me down on the. . . couch? Why was I on a couch? That didn't matter. I felt so helpless when he arranged me as he pleased, but I was used to that kind of feeling when I was around men. Saki was always so gentle with me, though, unlike others. My body felt completely lifeless then and my eyes fell shut against my will._

_Images flooded my mind. Images of my raven-haired God, Saki. . . images of my brown-eyed friend, Satoshi. . . then there were the children from the orphanage, and the children from school. Those were beautiful times. I remembered having races with friends like Haru, Daisuke, Yuki, Toru, and Kaori. . . so many names, but no faces. People rarely had faces in my memories. . . unless I had loved them dearly. Saki and Satoshi. . . their faces were very prominent. Satoshi had a young face when last I saw him living. He was my own age, but he died when he was only fifteen. . . his death was. . ._

_No, that's not important._

_Then there was. . . no, there **is** Saki. Saki is still very much alive. I met Saki when I was just fourteen years old. . . Saki was twenty-one. It really was a sick relationship, but. . . why did I love him so much? Why do I **still** love him, even after what he has done to me? I don't want to love him anymore! I don't want to love that monster anymore!_

I opened my eyes, the warm streams of tears rolling down my cheeks now becoming known to me. Why was I crying? I lifted a hand to touch them, as though I didn't believe in their existence. Perhaps it was this feeling that I always had. I always had a feeling that after Saki, there was no one for me. . . but just recently, that whole in my heart had felt, well, not so empty anymore. There was something in my life now that was healing my wounds. . . but what could it be?

Sitting up, I found myself still on the couch. I don't remember laying down though. Where was Jounouchi? Geez, what in the hell had happened? The last thing I could recall was talking about killing Gozaburo and then. . . ah shit, I must have slipped off into lala land again. How annoying. That medicine needed to hurry the fuck up and start working. That's what I get for switching medications like the stupid quack suggested. I'll think twice before doing that again.

I wanted with all of my being to stop taking those pills altogether. . . but the last time I tried that. . . Well, it wasn't pretty.

I glanced casually around the room. It was quiet except for the soft ticking of a clock that I didn't know Jounouchi had. Probably because he was such a loud mouth all the time and therefore I couldn't see it. Perhaps he had gone out somewhere. . . to hang out with Yuugi and the others or something. Whatever groups of friends do these days. I guess that I wouldn't really know what to do if I had a group of friends like that. Would it be weird if I said that I was kinda jealous? Yeah? Okay, I won't say it then. . . I'll just think it.

Jounouchi. . . his father was a pathetic fuck. I could relate to him more than I could with his circle of friends. . . but still, we weren't so similar. He was kind of my opposite, really. He was so optimistic whereas I, well, people had told me I was always pessimistic. He was all about playing and not working, while I was always all work and no play. Jounouchi surrounded himself with friends, and I shunned them all away. . . yeah, Katsuya was just my opposite. What was that saying about opposites?

_Opposites attract._

Woah! Wrong saying! Holy shit. Me and Katsuya. . . Jounouchi, whatever. Hell no! Definitely no way. The thought made me shiver. I stood from the couch. Perhaps I would go update the Kaiba Corporation website and get such a foul thought out of my head before it corrupted something.

I edged slowly towards the hallway, but I kept remember things Jounouchi had said to me the other day. . .

"_Yeah, I guess that you can do that sort of thing when you're sexy and famous."_

"_I'm not an ass." "No, but you have a nice one."_

"_What? You should know that you're sexy. . . or do you not notice all of the babes that practically drool all over you."_

"_Because you have a beautiful smile." _

Ugh! What the fuck was up with him! He said that he was straight, but then he started giving me reasons as to why it was alright for two guys to go out. . . I obviously have nothing against homosexuals. . . but still! He confused the fucked out of me.

As I made my way past the closed door of his fathers room, I heard some clicking. . . like a computer mouse. Yes, I could recognize that noise from a mile away. I was used to that sound, seeing as I was on the computer for a majority of my days. Was Jounouchi in there? I knocked on the door.

"Jounouchi?" I asked, my voice still groggy from apparently falling asleep on the couch. "Are you in there?" I leaned my ear against the door, trying to listen for any more movement.

"Yeah." Came a muffled reply from within.

I turned the knob, surprised that it wasn't locked, and the hinges screeched miserably as I inched the door open. There was a loud noise from within, and the door slammed shut against me, knocking me a few feet away.

"What the fuck?!" Was all I could manage to get out. What in the hell was he thinking? Why did he shut the door on me like that? "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"You don't need to be in here!"

"You can't hide shit, you asshole! We had an agreement!" I leaned against my side of the door, trying to push it open against his weight. He was heavier than I was, though.

Apparently the mutt stepped aside, for I found myself fighting to keep my balance as his weight disappeared and the door swung open. I gazed around the room the moment I was steady on my feet, and cocked an eyebrow at him.

"**This** is the big secret that you were hiding?" I laughed slightly. The room was littered with empty beer bottles and women's underclothes. The smell from the couch was even stronger in this room. That same, dreadful smell that filled the air of a filthy bar around two in the morning. I reached down towards my feet, leaning back up with some mystery-slut's bra clamped between my middle finger and thumb. "I kind of already guessed that your father was a pig." I tossed the offensive clothing onto his fathers' disarray bed.

"I just. . . it's embarrassing." He didn't even bother to make eye contact with me.

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why is it embarrassing? It's not you're fault he's a slob." I shrugged. "Oh yeah, did I fall asleep during our conversation?" I combed my left hand through my hair.

He seemed hesitant for a moment before answering, "Yeah, something like that." He glanced down at his computer, "Can we do a little bit more work on our project?" I suppose that he noticed the funny look on my face when I heard that he wanted to do work. "What?"

"You asking to do schoolwork is strange." I looked down at myself, realizing that I was still clad in my pajamas, "Can I get dressed first though? It's after noon already."

"I wish you'd get **un**dressed."

"Excuse me?" Please tell me that he didn't just say what I **think** he said. . . then again, with all he has been saying lately. . .

"Nothing." He was quick to answer.

I looked him up and down for a moment before turning to go down the hallway towards his room. I would let it go for now. It was probably better this way.

I kneeled on his bedroom floor, arranging the many outfits that I had packed so that I could see all of them. What to wear, what to wear. . .

"Just pick one, rich-boy." Came Jounouchi's unwanted commentary.

I shot a glare at him and then glanced back at my choices for attire, "I like them all though. . . which one do **you** like the most?" Isn't this the sort of things friends did? Didn't they help each other make choices and whatnot? I think that's what friends do.

He seemed a bit taken aback, "What?"

Okay, so maybe friends didn't do this kind of thing. . . I needed to play it off, "I'm indecisive and need your opinion. Give me an answer now and feel honored later."

"Do you want my honest opinion or do you want me to say what most other guys would say?"

Again I turned and looked at him, arching my brow, "I think I'd rather hear what most other guys would say." Yeah, with what Jounouchi has been saying lately, I probably didn't want to hear anything from him.

"Well. . . the tightest, most revealing outfit to show off your ass, legs, and chest."

I think I nearly choked on my own saliva. Most other guys would **not** say that. . . would they? "Dare I as for **your** honest opinion?"

"I don't know, do you?"

"I do." I pursed his lips, annoyed.

"Well then, close your eyes and spin around and wear whatever you stop at."

"Umm, why?" That was the most random thing ever.

"Because it really doesn't matter what you wear; you look good in everything."

I stared at him for a long while, but turned away the moment I felt a blush begin to burn in my cheeks. I look good in everything? What the hell? I mean, I guess I looked _decent_ in everything, but _good_? That comment should have really disgusted me, and it would have, had it come from someone other than Jounouchi; but somehow it sounded okay when he said it. Somehow, it was okay. . .

He kneeled next to me, "If you want a more straight (was that supposed to be a pun?) Answer, try the blue, collared dress-shirt with the black leather pants."

I snatched the outfit from the floor, not at all disappointed with his decision, "Alright then, blue and black it is."

He studied my various outfits for a bit, "You like leather, huh?" He trudged over to his bed, bouncing slightly as he sat upon it.

"Well, I don't exactly look right in blue jeans, and you saw those awful green pants that I had dared to wear during Duelist Kingdom." Those nasty things. . .

"The flares?"

"Ugh, spare me of the flashbacks. I only wore them because I figured they'd be easier to move around in." I stood after shoving the other clothes back into their case, "Well, I'm going to go change."

"Would it kill you to change in front of me?"

"I don't change in front of perverts." Okay, he was really crossing the line with the numerous sexual comments today.

"I'm not a pervert! Seriously, I just figured it wouldn't bother you." He hopped from his bed and slung open the chest of drawers, retrieving a forest green t-shirt and some khaki slacks and then proceeded to strip down until he was in his plaid boxers only, "See? What's so difficult about that?"

I think that my eyes were probably the size of softballs by the time he finished, and the blush was likely too red to bother hiding. What in the hell was he doing? . . . he was really fit though, and was rather muscular. I definitely wouldn't have pegged Katsuya as the type to work out or anything. . .

"Uh, y-yeah. . . I'm just going to go and-"

"You're not going anywhere."

"Jounouchi, I'm not going to-"

"If you won't, I **will**."

"What?" Where was this conversation going?

"If you don't take your clothes off, I'll simply peel them away myself." He grinned at me, and I felt very much afraid. . . this kind of thing was all-too familiar to me.

I growled and chucked the outfit at him, "You son of a fucking bitch!"

"What the hell?!"

"What the fuck is up with you?! Ever since I fucking got here, you've been trying to get in my fucking pants!" I gave my cruelest glare.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh come on! I don't believe that bullshit for even a second!" I held a stern, accusing finger in his general direction.

"Kaiba, I'm not trying to-"

"**BULLSHIT!**"

"Can I kiss you?"

"What?" My arm dropped to my side, my anger slowly depleting. . . and then I registered in my mind what he had just asked, "You fucking pervert!"

He moved swiftly across the room, seizing me by the arms before I had a chance to react.

"Let go of me, you sick fu-"

His mouth crushed against my own. This wasn't how kisses should be! Kissed were meant to be gentle and warm and sweet! Not this! This was awful! His tongue ran along my lips and I fought to keep my mouth clamped shut. . . but it was no use. It snaked it's way in, exploring every region of my mouth.

I squirmed and fought against him, but he only reacted by shoving me against the wall, freeing his hands.

His fingertips ran down my jawbone and neck while my hands shoved at his head. I was trying with everything in my power to force us apart. . . but it were as though I wasn't even moving! His mouth eventually, much to my happiness, came away from my own lips.

"Get off of me!" My eyes were clenched tightly closed and I was flailing wildly, "You're ass will be in jail, you filthy son of a bitch!"

"Why don't you just daze out like all the other times?!"

I stopped moving and he backed away. Daze out? Like all the other times? What? "What the fuck are you talking about?" He was probably trying to confuse me so that he could. . . could. . .

"Any other time something suggestive came up like this, you would go off in your own little world and start calling me 'Saki'. . . but now that I actually planned on going through with things, you stay just as you always are!"

"You were going to-"

"That's not the point!" He threw his hands up in the air, "You've been acting so fucking weird these past few days, and I sure as hell want to know why!"

"It's not something that I can control. . ."

"Well then what the hell is it?!" He plopped back down on his bed and sighed. "At first I thought that maybe it was one of those illnesses that you have. . . the Post Traumatic one. . . but you have medicine for it, so-"

"It's new."

"What?"

"The medicine, it's new. I switched medications to see if I could get better results. It takes a few days, sometimes a week, to make a clean switch." My voice was losing it's volume. I didn't like this situation at all.

"Oh. . ." He scratched at his messy blonde hair - did I mention he was still clad only in boxers? - and then stood, "I guess that we should both get dressed now."

"That we should." I gathered up my clothes, which lay in a puddle on the floor after I had thrown them at that bastard in defense, and then went out the door. Was he really going to try and. . .

I poked my head back in the room, "Oh, and Jounouchi?"

"Yeah?"

"Were you really going to-"

"No, I was just trying to see if you'd daze out again."

"Okay, I didn't think so." Yeah, he wasn't that type of person. Jounouchi was weird, but he had a good heart. . . or something.

He smiled faintly and turned back towards the outfit he had picked out. I had to stifle a laugh when I saw the gaping hole in the back of his undershorts. Not that I was checking out his ass or anything. . . I mean, it was kind of hard not to notice white skin peeking out from plaid boxers.

"Katsuya?" I asked, using his first name by mistake. He whirled around quickly, "You need new boxers. . . those have a hole in the ass." With that, I made my way towards the bathroom.

I made sure to lock the door, just in case Jounouchi tried to make me a test subject again. Trying to see if I would daze out, huh? Something inside of me wanted to trust him, but the logical half of me was screaming 'bullshit' at the top of its lungs. I really wondered.

I made quick work of dressing, using Jounouchi's brush (after rinsing it in the sink) to get my hair just the way I wanted it. I looked myself over in the mirror. I looked kind of pissed off. . . did I always look like that?

"_Because you have a beautiful smile."_

A beautiful smile, huh? I scrunched up my face a bit, looking back at the looked door before leaning towards the mirror and smiling the best I could. Oooh, my teeth were so white! My eyes kinda squinted a bit when I smiled. . . I looked. . . no, I really shouldn't judge my own looks. But if I were a chick or a gay guy, I would call my reflection cute. Okay, weird moment over!

I left the bathroom and returned to Katsu- er, Jounouchi's room, my pajamas folded neatly in my arms. He wasn't in there, but his pajamas were in a heap on the floor. I put mine in my suitcase and kicked his off to the side. Where in the hell has he gone off to? He wasn't anywhere to be found in the room. Perhaps he was already hungry again. I ventured towards the kitchen, but didn't make it there.

"Jounouchi?" He was coming out of his father's room and shutting the door behind him.

He jumped a bit when I voiced his name, "You scared me. I was just getting my notebook."

"Why was your notebook in your fathers' room?" I folded my arms, narrowing my eyes.

"I. . . I've been carrying it with me all day."

"Bullshit." I needed a recording of that word so that I didn't have to say it so much.

"I've. . . been doing homework for other classes in it?"

"**Definite** bullshit." I sighed, dropping my arms and leaning against the wall beside him. "Just tell me the truth Jounouchi."

". . . I was. . . doing research on. . ."

"On what?" I was so sick of his stalling.

"Your illness."

"Which one?"

"What?"

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Why?"

"Because you confuse the hell out of me."

"It is **you** that confuses **me**."

* * *

Hooray for another chapter! By the way, don't tell me that I have no right to whine for reviews. Sure, there are plenty of great writers that get hardly any reviews, but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't get any! I love reviews! They make me happy and make me want to update faster! I mean, I look at the stats for my stories. Chapter five had 188 hits and only six reviews. I doubt that it was the same six people all 188 times. That would be weird. The same goes for Behind Blue Eyes. The original story has a total of 23,732 hits and a total of 425 reviews. Don't get me wrong, I love that number! That is an amazing amount! But it really makes me wonder. Why doesn't everyone review when they read a chapter? Even just a little comment would be wonderful!

Anyways, make me happy! Send a review! Expect another chapter of this story in the near future, and another Behind Blue Eyes chapter before the end of the month!


	8. Day Two: Karaoke!

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

Sorry for the delay! I know where I'm going with this, really I do! Oh, and to the anonymous reviewer: Seto can't stop having his 'weird moments'; the point of this story is to let Jou look into his life! You'll just have to wait patiently for their romance to bloom. . . that's as long as I **let** it bloom. Mwahahahaha. . .

**Disclaimer:** The original **_Behind Blue Eyes_** said: "Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Oh, and I don't know any of the songs listed here either. . ." But obviously, I meant to say that I didn't **own** the songs. If I didn't know them, would they be in the fic? Geez, I really need to start reading what I type.

* * *

**Recap:**

"_Because you confuse the hell out of me."_

"_It is **you** that confuses **me**."_

- - -

"How the hell do **I** confuse **you**?" I think he was trying to glare at me while clutching his notebook against his chest like a frightened child. My height was currently giving me an edge, as I was able to stare him down without much effort..

"I can never tell when you're joking, or what you're thinking, and it annoys me. Usually I can just look as someone and know exactly what they're thinking." It was true. Normally I can tell by tone of voice or facial expressions, but Jounouchi seems serious when he say he is joking. So it he truly joking, or is he just pretending to joke? Ugh! It shouldn't be this confusing! I'm rarely ever confused!

"You some sort of psychic?" I glared at him, and he held up his hands, "I was kidding, chill out Seto."

"Right. . . so you did a bit of internet browsing, hm?" Back to our original conversation. . .

"I did."

"So then you have all you need to know?"

"Not at all. I have a few questions I'd like to ask you." He seemed to straighten up, like he was trying to seem official or something.

I groaned with irritation, "If we're going to do this again, do you at least have some coffee in here? I need some energy. . ."

"Did we buy some at the store yesterday?"

". . ." God damn it. . .

"Then no." I groaned again and he smiled, "I know of a great coffee shop nearby, though. You want to go? Oh yeah, and you have to pay; I'm flat broke."

I scrunched up my face a bit, "I figured as much. But hey, if it's for coffee, it's worth it. I'd kill for some caffeine right about now." Jounouchi scooted down the wall, as though joking that I would truly kill him. It _was_ kind of funny. . . "Yeah, yeah, you're funny. . . come on, let's go."

"I'm taking my notebook with me. I figure that a coffee shop is a great environment for us to discuss the project."

"You just **want** me to kill you, don't you?" A coffee shop. A fucking coffee shop. What kind of 'great environment' is _that_?

"Aw, come on! You want a good grade right? So cooperate!" He jogged down the hall and into his room. I wasn't in such a hurry, and so took my time in following him. He had already pulled some sneakers on, and so I slipped into my black dress shoes. He gave me a funny look when I did. "Don't those hurt your feet?"

"No. I wear them so much that they get broken in quickly and are just as comfortable as any casual shoe." I shrugged my shoulders. I mean seriously, wouldn't I look just odd in tennis shoes?

"You're a rich punk, you know that?"

"Yeah." I smirked. Yeah, I did know that, and I loved it.

"Alright then! Off to the coffee shop we go! They have the best coffee, and hot chocolate too! And they top it off with whipped cream! Delicious!" He shoved his hands up into the air to emphasize his word. I couldn't help but laugh a bit at his childish stupidity.

"Whatever, freak." I went back down the hallway, ready to leave already. I could hear him stumbling behind.

"Yeah, yeah, call me what you want." He suddenly darted past me as though we were racing, "Come on, Seto! If we're going to get there anytime soon, we have to get moving!" I was still going to have to get used to hearing my first name.

"Are we walking or something?"

". . ."

"You really need a car." Maybe if he got on my good side, I'd buy him one. Not out of the good of my heart, but for the possibility that I may be forced to partner up with him for some ungodly reason.

On the way down the stairwell of the apartment building, we passed an old woman on the floor just below Jounouchi's. I wouldn't have noticed her, with a grocery bag in her arms, had she not abruptly called out to my blond companion. Companion? Mine? What the hell? My blond, uh. . . the blond.

"Katsuya!" She waved an aged arm, "How are you, Katsuya?" She leaned to glance around him, her eyes catching sight of me, "Oh my! Who is this fine young man behind you? Oh, Katsuya! I always knew you'd catch a pretty one! You little hottie!" She laughed, lifting her bag and retreating into her apartment.

Okay. What the fuck? Did she think I was his boy-toy or something? No way in hell! And why would Jounouchi be on top! I knew how to screw! Well. . . I mean, I've never done it before, but. . . actually, forget I mentioned anything.

"Is she always like that?" My face was twisted in a rather unusual fasion.

"Yeah, pretty much. Typical woman, you know? Not giving a guy a chance to talk." He led the way down the stairs and onto the sidewalk, thus beginning our journey.

The sun was glaring in the sky, being that it was about the hottest point of the day. There wasn't a cloud to be seen, leaving no shade for us helpless fucks that have to fucking walk. Did I ever mention that I hated walking? There was a slight breeze, but it wasn't enough to save me from that annoyingly-bright fireball in the sky. My hair was blowing all about my face. It was really getting on my nerves. . . and as if all of that wasn't enough, Jounouchi was fucking staring again.

I glared down at him for a little while, expecting him to look away, but he only continued to study me like some science specimen, "You stare too much."

"I wasn't staring, I just happened to be looking at you when you glanced at me."

"Hmm, that's funny, because I happened to be 'glancing' at you for about thirty seconds, waiting for you to look away." He turned away from me, defeated. "How far away is this place?" I was really tired of walking.

"About a mile."

"I haven't walked this far in. . . well, I don't think that I ever have, actually." I put my hand on my chin to think for a second and then shrugged. No, I suppose that I haven't walked that far.

"Well, this is good exercise then. . . not that you need it or anything, but it does the heart some good." What a stupid thing to say.

It was a long five minutes before we had reached the main shopping area. Shops of all sorts lined the street upon which we walked. . . none of which I cared enough to read the signs to. I never shopped in such a run-down area of town anyways.

"There it is!" He chirped in that annoying voice of his, bringing his pace to a light jog. Giving in, I jogged after him.

The bells on the door jingled as we entered the small building.

Heaven is the only word fit to describe such a place. The aroma invaded my nostrils, soothing me immediately. The sweet, sweet scent of coffee full of caffeine. What would I be without coffee? I'd be nothing! Coffee was always there for me on late nights when projects were due the following morning. Coffee is always there in the mornings when I wake up hating life. Ah yes, a beautiful liquid pick-me-up to give my life the little kick it needs to continue. The smell is so intoxicating!

"Ah, I've missed that smell." I closed my eyes in bliss.

"Pick a seat, moneybags." Pfeh, way to ruin my moment, mutt.

"Back to name-calling, are we?" I sat at the table farthest from everyone else in the building (not that there were very many people at all, and not that it was a very big building or anything), and folded my arms across my chest. "Alright then, mutt."

"Oh, right, sorry Seto."

"You ought to be." I lifted my arm high in the air and snapped my fingers. Good service was so rare these days. Quickly, a young waiter came to our table-side, his head cocked to the side in slight confusion.

"Um, can I help you?"

"Give me the best coffee you serve, and make sure there's a lot of caffeine in it." Yes, caffeine! I did my best to hide the excitement that might seep through in my voice. The under-paid boy looked to Jou for his order.

"Well, I just want a hot chocolate; I'm not much of a coffee person." He laughed one of those fake laughs.

"Coming right up, sir!" I was looking out the window by now, annoyed by the underling's presence.

"Seto, that was kind of rude. . ."

"Look, Jounouchi, I'm not about to change my ways. I've always been like this. Wouldn't it seem odd if I suddenly changed?" I leaned back in my chair, "I can just imagine what the tabloids would say about that." We locked eyes, "I just hope that they don't decide to take pictures of the two of us sitting here together."

"You're paranoid."

"You'd be paranoid too if you had people watching your every move." I glanced around the shop, "I sometimes wonder if even taking a shower is safe anymore."

"I'd like to see **those** pictures."

"What?"

"Nothing." The same guy returned with steaming cups in hand. He sat them on the table, and then had the balls to give us the fucking bill! Such shitty service!

I cleared my throat loudly, "Excuse me? Why are you giving us the bill? Did I say that I only wanted this? Who's to say that I won't order more? Do you expect me to dislike this coffee that much? Have you no confidence in the product you sell?"

"N-no sir, I-"

"No? So you're not confident in it? I don't think I want to drink it then." Haha, I love messing with dumbasses.

"No sir! That's not it at all! It's my first day, sir, I'm just learning. . ."

"Give the kid a break Seto." Pfeh, stupid puppy spoiling my fun.

"Fine." I huffed, lifting the cup to my lips and sipping at it. Holy fucking shit was it good. Had I been a low-class kind of guy, I probably would have orgasmed right in my seat. . . but I'm nothing like that. It was good to have coffee in my system again. Then I realized that the stupid kid was still standing there, staring like a dope, "Did you still want something, kid?"

"Uh, n-no sir." With that, he was gone. . . and he took the bill with him.

"You see Jounouchi? In order to get what you want, when you want, **how** you want, you have to use a bit of force." I smirked, proud of my teaching skills.

"That's mean, Kaiba. You shouldn't be mean to people just to get what you want. And you wonder why people think you're an asshole. . ."

"No, I don't wonder at all. I **know** that I'm a complete asshole, and I wouldn't change that for the world." I tried to smirk again, but it wouldn't come out right. Instead, I gazed into my coffee and tried to pretend Jounouchi wasn't looking at me. No, I didn't want to be the way I was, but I _had_ to be. I couldn't change, no matter what.

"Wouldn't change it for the world, eh?" I could hear him flipping through that notebook of his. "Hey Kaiba?" Oh, my last name again.

"Hm?" I traced the edge of my cup with my index finger while propping my head up with my right arm. I glanced up at him, but he immediately turned his attention to whatever he had scribbled on his paper.

"Like I said earlier, I did some research on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Well, I have some questions about it." I glanced wide-eyed around the shop. Geez! He was talking about it so casually in front of the general public! "It's alright, Kaiba, I'll talk quietly so that no one will hear."

"Fine. . . but if I don't want to answer something, I'm not answering it."

"No secrets, remember?" He glared as though it would phase me or something.

"Hm. . . fine. Keep that in mind, Jounouchi." I leaned back into the chair, cringing at the slight creak it let out, and clasped my hands together in my lap.

"Alright then. . ." There was a long pause, and then, "Saki raped you; yes or no."

Woah, big topic right off. I shook against my will and instantly averted my eyes, trying my best to look disinterested, "Yes. . ."

"I thought so. . . Uh, moving on. What traumatic event caused you to get PTSD? I read that it could be things like abuse, war, rape. . ."

"Well I haven't been to war." Obviously.

"I know that."

"Then obviously it's the other two." The dog wasn't joking when he said he sucked at logic.

"Abuse?" He cocked his head to the side. Again there was a long pause, but I didn't look up at his face to see what he was doing. "Your step father. . ."

"Sometimes." Well, he came up with that on his own, I had to give him that.

"What?"

"Can I explain that at another time? I don't trust you enough to talk about my step father, Katsuya Jounouchi."

"But Kaiba-"

"Katsuya." He quickly shut his mouth, and for that I was thankful. "Thank you."

"Yeah, well, I won't drop it next time. You need to talk about it, you know?" I sipped at his hot chocolate and I took the time to down a rather large swig of coffee. "It would make you feel better."

"Make me feel better?" I glared dangerously at him, "You think that reawakening all of these old memories is going to make me feel better?" I practically shook with anger. He had begun to sink down into his chair, and then he fucking smiled! "Why the fuck are you smiling?! You think it's funny, Jounouchi?!"

He stood up, trying to cover my mouth with his hands, "Kaiba, shh!" It was a whisper. No fucking way was I going to shut up! He was a fucking bastard! I tugged at his hands, but he grabbed me by the wrists and pressed my hands against the table while still covering my mouth with his other hand. Damn my small wrists! "You're drawing unnecessary attention to us." Oops. . . he was right. Everyone in the building was staring.

I glared but nodded. "Hey waiter, we'll take our bill now."

- - -

I paid the bill and strolled briskly out, staying as far ahead of the dumb blond as I could.

I took a look at my watch, "It's after four already. . . I'm hungry." I turned around on the sidewalk to find Jounouchi, "What's for lunch?" Normally I wouldn't ask him, but considering I had absolutely no idea what restaurants were nearby, I had to resort to asking.

"Whatever you want."

"Don't give me that shit!" I scrunched up my face in a glare, my hands jumping up to my hips, "As if you really want **me** to pick."

"True, you'd probably pick some stiff-ass fancy place for us to eat at along with all of your other snobby people."

"I would not!"

"Bullshit." He mocked my pose to the best of his abilities. . . which wasn't very good, "You know damn well that you would pick some high-dollar joint."

"Oh yeah?" I absolutely **despised** losing an argument. I didn't always eat at fancy restaurants! There were random occasions when I dared to take Mokuba to a McDonald's or something.

"Yeah." Thus, it was a challenge.

"Then let's eat at. . ." I scanned the buildings, yearning after the nice sit-down places and cringing at the greasy dumps. "There!" I pointed confidently at a building that I wasn't even sure was a restaurant. The structure of the place was interesting enough.

"The karaoke bar?"

Ah shit. ". . . um, yes. . ." I bit my lip regretfully.

"Alright then! The great Seto Kaiba has chosen the karaoke bar for lunch!"

"Well, it's really more like dinner."

"Dinner? It's not even five o'clock yet! What time do you usually eat dinner?"

"I usually **don't** eat dinner." I scratched at the back of my head, venturing towards my hand-picked doom.

Yet again he was falling behind, probably staring at me like a freak, "Are you coming, Katsuya?"

"Coming!" He eventually caught up with me.

- - -

Getting in was simple, and when the manager realized who I was, he gave us the best seat in the house, without us having to wait in the line. I was used to such royal treatment, being the richest fellow in the city and all, but Jounouchi had stars in his eyes. He was absolutely ecstatic and. . . well, can I go so far as to say his childish antics were cute right about then? No? Okay, I won't go that far, then.

There was some amateur on stage, and Jou and I spent the first ten minutes just making fun of the poor guy. Hey, at least he put his heart into sounding like a dying cat. It felt good to laugh as much as I was. The blond's comments were just too funny to keep a straight face at. . . but again I found him staring.

"Jounouchi?" I glared, "You're staring again."

"I can't help it." I think he had one of those 'open mouth, insert foot' moments.

"Can't help it?"

"Forget it. . . when are we going to get a waiter?" He shoved my arm down onto the table when he saw me raise my arm up to call over service with a snap, "That's embarrassing!"

"What's embarrassing is you yelling and drawing attention while holding your hands on top of mine. Faggot."

For some reason, he looked really upset all of a sudden. "So you're a homophobe now?" Hell, he even _sounded_ pissed off.

"No, puppy, I'm not homophobic. I'm just teasing you." I smiled. Anything to shut him up and change the mood back to the way it was. My technique worked out nicely.

A waiter approached us, taking our orders down with lightening speed. I ordered a salad while Katsuya, not at all to my surprised, ordered an artery-clogging burger. We ate mostly in silence, making occasional comments on how great or how shitty the current karaoke fool was. Some of the participants were clearly drunk off their ass and had to be removed from the stage before they dirtied it with the vomit that was soon to come.

It was beginning to get boring. So boring, in fact, that I found myself contemplating a rather strange idea, "Sing a song Jou."

He was quiet for a moment, as though he hadn't quite registered what I had said, "What? Me? Sing? Are you out of your mind?"

"Well, you seem to never want to shut up, so I just figured maybe you would want to sing in front of a bunch of people and be all popular and whatnot. . . but I guess that you just don't have the balls to do it." I smirked. There was no way he could resist a challenge. Much like myself, Katsuya Jounouchi absolutely hated to lose a challenge.

"I'm not a coward!" He looked up at the stage, "Fine, I'll do it." He marched up to the stage just as some ugly woman finished.

"All right!" He hollered into the microphone, catching the attention of more than half of the customers, "I'd like to sing 'Sweetness' by 'Jimmy Eat World'."

The music started up within a matter of seconds, and as soon as his voice filled the air, my heart skipped a beat. Here I was, thinking that I could make fun of him, and he sounded amazing. His voice could hit notes that I hadn't thought he possible could. The lyrics flowed smoothly from him, his body moving naturally to the beat of the music. Jou seemed to fall into some sort of dream-like daze as he danced about the stage, microphone in his hand. It was a weird song, and the lyrics made no sense to me. . . but his voice ringing in my ears was good enough. A smile had come to my lips without me knowing, but it was no use hiding it; he was too far gone to notice.

The song came to a close, and the hypnotic mood of the room faded, the building erupting into a welcoming applause. Jounouchi grinned stupidly at the attention. He hopped from the stage, seeming to be in a sudden sense of urgency, and sat back in his seat, scooting uncomfortably close to me, "Hey Seto?"

"Hm?"

"It's that guy."

"What guy?" Before he could answer, the room was filled with the sounds of the next song, which I couldn't remember the name too, but I recognized it as a favorite song of Mokuba's. The singer mounted the stage by way of the stairs off to the side. I glanced at him, turned away, and glanced again. I wasn't accustomed to double-takes, but I was sure that I had seen him somewhere before. I squinted my eyes and rubbed at them, trying to get a better look.

Then he began to sing, his voice burning into my ears and my mind. That voice, **his** voice. That deep tenor that used to make me melt. My eyes froze, locking onto him. That jet-black hair shining beautifully in the stage-light, those grey eyes focused only on me. Saki. My Saki. No, he wasn't my Saki. Sake raped me. Saki. . .

_I'm not a perfect person,_

_There's many things I wish I didn't do,_

_And I'll continue learning,_

_I never meant to do those things to you. . ._

It was to me. The song was to me. I think I dropped the fork that I had been holding, but that didn't matter anymore. My appetite was gone. Jounouchi was gone, the dancing crowd was gone, the table and chairs were gone, the stage was gone. There was only me, Saki, and Saki's voice, the voice that captivated me those few years ago, and still mesmerized me to this day.

Was this an apology song? The words, and apology? My Saki. . . he wanted me back. . . he wanted me still, just as I wanted him. . . he loved me. . . no, he couldn't love me, not after what he had done to me. . . not after. . .

"Seto?"

Was that Jounouchi's voice? "I'm just. . . I'm. . . I. . ." I couldn't peels my eyes away from the one I had called my true love. The words were lost in my mouth, and so I left them that way.

Saki began the next verse with that heavenly voice of his. I couldn't take my eyes away. I wanted to run, run as far away as fast as I could manage. . . but I couldn't manage anything. I was completely helpless, my blue eyes trapped in his grey. Then he did the one thing I would have hoped for him to never do. Saki kneeled at the very front of the stage, right by where we sat. He was close enough that he reached out his free hand and cupped my chin. That hand, just as gentle and loving as I remembered. I wanted to cry or move or something. . . but no tears came and nothing happened.

I wanted to stay right there with him, but then I didn't. I didn't want Saki anymore, but then I did. My mind fought my heart, and my will fought my body.

_I'm sorry that I hurt you,  
_

_It's something I must live with everyday,_

_  
And all the pain I put you through,  
_

_I wish that I could take it all away,_

_  
And be the one who catches all your tears,  
_

_That's why I need you to-_

"**NO!!!**" I stood from my feet, knocking back my chair. Saki's voice ended abruptly and the music was soon cut off. The tears threatened to flow now that I was able to break his spell over me.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?!" It was Jounouchi, and he was pulling me against himself. I shook a bit, but I didn't bother to hide weakness. This is what I really wanted. . . someone to hold me, someone to love me.

"The question is," Came Saki's powerful voice, "Who the fuck are **you**?"

"I w-want to go. . . please, Jounouchi." I tugged at his shirt with my hands, my grip not nearly as strong as it usually was. I felt so pathetic, so weak, so much like a small child. . . and yet it really didn't bother me. I wanted to leave, to escape this. Saki was here, right now. . . I wanted to run away.

"Of course, Seto." Jounouchi led me over to pay the bill, which I did to the best of my abilities. I gave my ex-lover one final glance, hoping this to be the last. . . but it only upset me to think of it in such a manner.

We left in a rush, and Jounouchi pulled me off to the side once we were out. Apparently we had spent a couple hours in there, seeing as the sun had now set and our surroundings were cast in dark.

"Seto? Who was that?" He held me tightly, rubbing my folded arms to comfort me, "Please tell me."

"Jounouchi, that. . ." I closed my eyes and opened them again, trying so hard not to cry.

"Seto, you can cry. I'm not going to make fun of you. I want you to trust me completely. Tell me; who is that man?" I believed him. His voice was so serious, his expression being only that of complete and total concern for me.

"That man is. . ." We locked eyes, and one single tear fell from my own, "That man is Saki."

* * *

Yay! I finished it! Thank you all so much for reviewing now! Yay! Next chapter will be a crazy one! I hope you all enjoyed this one! As always, don't forget to review!

Also, I know, I know, I'm borrowing names from all of my favorite animes, lol. But hey, it's easier to come up with Japanese names when I'm taking them from Japanese shows. Most of the names in here, including the name 'Saki' came from an anime that I watch. But don't worry, none of the characters act like the characters they're named after. (Well, except the Yuugiou characters, obviously.)

Expect another chapter of this story within the week. Expect another chapter of **_Behind Blue Eyes_** before the end of the month!


	9. Day Two: The Real Me

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

Yeah, you know the drill. I post one of these after a chapter of Behind Blue Eyes. I'm going to post a few of these chapters before I post the next chapter of the other story for the simple facts that I want to catch this one up to the other and these chapters are easier to write. . . I mean, the storyline is already there! Just make some changes to the paragraphs and whatnot and tada! A whole new story, haha! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Oh my gods! Guess what??? I still don't own it. . .

* * *

**Recap:**

"_Seto, you can cry. I'm not going to make fun of you. I want you to trust me completely. Tell me; who is that man?"_

"_That man is. . . That man is Saki."_

- - -

"Saki?" Jounouchi's voice was barely audible in my mind. It felt empty and distant at the moment. That name, that awful name. . . that awful, wonderful name. Saki. . . I was pressed against the blond's body. He was warm and his heartbeat was nearly soothing. His hands were rubbing lovingly at my arms, and I felt like a child. . . for a second I was reminded of my father, but the memory disappeared just as it had come, and I was left here on the street in Jounouchi's arms, tears breaching my eyes and sliding down my cheeks. I wondered if he could see me crying in such darkness.

Yes, Saki. Jounouchi had said something about 'it's that guy'. Had he seen Saki before? Where had he seen him? Surely they weren't friends. "Yes." I was finally replying to the question that I had forgotten he had asked, "There's no mistaking him. . . but, how did you. . . you knew him? How?" I pushed closer to him by accident, call it nature if you want. I'm sure any human would agree when I said that talking while upset and afraid was a difficult task. I tried to make my sudden sob sound like a cough, but it just made me sound even more pathetic. . . wait, did I say I was afraid? I was never afraid, and I never cried. . . pfeh, yeah, and I wasn't rich either. . . I'm human. I cry, and I have fears. I'm human.

"He was in that store that you had wandered into at the mall." I could feel his face on the top of my head, which is when I realized that I had gone weak in the knees and was very slumped up against him. I couldn't bring myself to stand, and that upset me even more. Showing such a pathetic side of myself in front of someone from school. There was a different weight on the top of my head, as though Katsuya was leaning his own on top, but it went away after a short while. I didn't want to stay outside in the darkness where that horrible person could find us. I wanted to leave, to go somewhere safe a warm with light. . . and a lock on the door.

"Katsuya. . ."

"Yes?"

"Please, can we go home?" I hated saying please, I hated crying, I hated leaning on others. . . but it was all that I could think to do. . . all that I could manage. I gazed into his face, and there was that terrible emotion. Pity. Above anything else, I hated pity.

"Who the fuck are you, you fucking punk?" Jounouchi spun quickly with me still in his arms. I went with him. I didn't need to look. That voice echoed in my ears a million times over for the past four years. Had it really only been four years? It felt like a lifetime. My own prison inside my head where Saki's voice was always present. . . his face on the backs of my eyelids when I tried to sleep.

My back was to Saki, considering Katsuya was facing him, and I felt so vulnerable, like Jounouchi would become frightened and hand me over. . . or sell me. Jounouchi needed money, right? He would probably sell me, should Saki offer. He would, that fucking bastard. People are awful. I shook at the chill that ran down my spine and clutched Jounouchi's shirt. Perhaps he would take me home if I sounded absolutely pathetic. I didn't care if he made fun of me for it later, I just wanted away from Saki! A noise came from my throat, and at first I didn't know that it was me. It didn't sound human. . . but it was the first thing that I could emit before my body would let me plead.

"Please, Katsuya! Let's go, now!" His first name. . . yes, his first name was the key.

"Seto." Saki's voice again. The way he said my name. . . had I not already been putting my entire body weight onto Jounouchi, I would have fallen to the ground. I wanted to break down and cry in the street, to call to him, to call to Mokuba, to call to someone. . . but Saki wasn't my protector anymore. . . I needed someone to protect me from him now. Jounouchi began to back up, still clutching tightly to me, his arms trembling slightly. Was Saki advancing? I wanted to turn and look, but I was afraid of what I might see.

"I love you, Seto." I shook at his voice. . . those words that I always wanted Saki to say. . . why was he saying them now? After so much, why now? They meant to much back then, but now. . . now they are only sweet nothings. I could no longer speak, and simply stared Jounouchi Katsuya in the eyes. Could he not see that I was afraid? Was he also afraid? Did Saki have a weapon keeping us where we were?

"Come with me, Seto." He used to say that too. Always, he would say that. He would take me away from my adoptive father's bedroom or a guest room. . . I was always stripped naked and shivering. . . bloodied or battered, or both on some days. He would hold open his arms and tell me to come along. . . I buried my face into Jounouchi's neck. Saki was so cruel. . . so fucking cruel.

"I will take you somewhere warm and quiet, Seto. I want to make up for what I did, Seto." Saki was still muttering false promises. . . warm and quiet, how wonderful that sounded, how comforting. Yet, I could never feel comfort in his arms again. . . I longed for his embrace, but feared it just the same. He could never make up for what he had done.

"You w-want to m-make up for w-what you did?" I was muttering into the blond's neck, but it was loud enough that the demon could hear. I was stuttering, but the fact that I was speaking at all was a magnificent feat, "You can do that by leaving me alone and never coming near me again! I don't want to hear you, I don't want to see you. . . fuck, I don't even want to smell you! I don't want to hear your name! Just the thought of you makes me want to throw up!" Did I really mean all of that? I really wondered. . . it hurt and yet. . . to see him again. . . I tugged roughly at Jounouchi's shirt, "**Please**, Katsuya, let's leave!"

"I'll take you home." Saki was offering us a ride? It was definitely time to leave.

"What?" Jounouch was actually listening to him?! What was he thinking?!

"I love Seto, whether he wants to see that or not. I don't want him to have to walk home in this cold weather. I have a car and I'll take him home." There was a long pause, and I kept my head against my current guardian, "Just tell me where you live."

"Don't, Jou!" I jolted to stand upright and grabbed ahold of his arms, looking urgently into his eyes, "Don't you **dare** tell him where you live! I'd rather walk!"

"Even if we walk, he can just follow us home."

Okay, so he had a point. . . "But Jounouchi. . ."

"I'm not going to let him hurt you. Just trust me, Seto." His voice was soft and his eyes were gentle. The color, it reminded me of chocolates, like on Christmas. . . He had a very kind face, "Do you trust me?"

"I. . . I do." How could I not? Then again, how could I? I had trusted Saki. . . Saki's grey eyes were gentle too. . . but they weren't as warm as Katsuya's eyes. Saki's eyes were cold. They reminded me of metal. . . grey metal. . . handcuffs. . . restraints. . .

"Then let me handle this." Jounouchi seemed so much bigger then, so much more brave than I had ever given him credit for being. He didn't look like a cowering puppy, but more like a wolf that was preparing for the kill. He looked past me, now, at the one he despised. "Will you take the both of us?"

"No." Came Saki's reply, and I knew he wanted only to take me. That was likely his plan the entire time.

"Then we'll walk." He turned, with me still attached to him like a little boy, and we began to finally leave. . . but I could hear Saki speaking yet again. He suddenly didn't sound so high-and-mighty.

"Wait, no. It's too cold. Seto-koi might get sick." I shook at the intimate nickname that I had become so used to those few years ago. . . "Follow me, damn punk."

He had a different car than I remembered. It was now a Chrysler PT Cruiser (AN: I finally got that car, by the way. . . OMG, I should call it the Saki-mobile!) in perfect shape. The blond opened the back door for me and I hesitated a bit. Would Jou immediately follow me in or would Saki speed away with me? I had to trust that Jounouchi knew what he was doing. . . I slid in. Jounouchi began to come in, but Saki put his arm across the door to keep him from entering. I could see their mouths moving. . . having a conversation? This night was far too awkward for me. I was completely fatigued.

I was up against the window, my hands clasped together in my lap. The pup/wolf eventually appeared next to me. Yes, I was right to trust him. . . for now, anyways. My stomach was doing somersaults the entire trip. Though it was silent, except at moments where Jounouchi spouted off direction to his apartment complex, it were as though Saki gave off some sort of terrible aura. . . I could **feel** his presence. . . and that alone was enough to make me sick to my stomach. It was cold against the window. I wanted Jounouchi to put his arms around him again. I felt very safe that way. Woah, that doesn't sound good! I don't have the hots for him or anything. . . it just made me feel wanted and safe. It was nice to have a friend to protect me for once. . . he was a friend. A friend.

The car came to a stop in front of the apartment complex. . . and then it dawned on me why Jounouchi wasn't against giving Saki his address. They were apartments! Once we disappeared into the stairwell, there was no way that Saki would be able to tell which apartment we entered! Haha! Brilliant! Woah. . . settle down. . . excitement really wasn't the emotion for me.

"Seto, would you like me to walk you to the door?" He flashed an irritated smile. He obviously noticed his disadvantage. I dared to narrow my eyes at him and then turned away. I couldn't bare to look at him. That face that used to seem so wonderful and angelic was now an image of Satan himself.

I scrambled out of the car the moment I could shove the door open and then bolted up the stairs, nearly slipping and falling in the process. Jounouchi was following quickly at my heels. I could feel Saki watching us as we ascended until the time until I knew we were out of his sight. I slowed down as soon as we came to a shadow and began to pant. It wasn't often that I was starved for air.

"He's not going to hurt you." The blond reached out a hand to me and I slapped it away.

"How the fuck would you know! You don't know anything about him!" I was trying to hold back my sobs, and this time I was winning the fight. It was late and I was yelling. . . so it came as no surprise that the old woman of the building popped her head out of her door.

"My goodness, who is it with such a foul mouth?" Stupid old hag. Old women were always so prim and proper with a strong dislike for foul language, violence and sex. . . how annoying.

"Uh, sorry Ms. Harajuku, my friend here is having a bad day." He rubbed at the back of his head and shot me a glare.

I shrugged my shoulders and bit my bottom lip in mock apology.

"Oh, that little hottie of yours?" Woah, wait. . . hottie? "Well then, why don't you boys mosey on up to your place and put on some romantic music so you can make him feel better, Katsuya?" She winked suggestively at him.

What. The. Fuck. Was she seriously suggesting that he take me upstairs and. . . this was beginning to sound like a bad yaoi manga. . . not that I knew what yaoi was or anything. . . seriously.

"Ms. Harajuku!" Jounouchi's face was just as red as my own, "Uh, we have to go do some. . . homework! Yes, lots of homework to do for our classes tomorrow! Goodnight!" The fact that he hesitated made it sound like he really **was** going to do what she suggested. . . perhaps he knew that. He grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me up the next flight of stairs to his floor.

We burst into the door and I plopped, yes plopped, onto the couch. "Crazy old woman." I did my best to resist the urge to cough. The smell of cigarette smoke was awful. I wondered if a cloud of the stuff came out when I sat down. . . and then had to stifle laughter at the image of it in my mind.

"She's nice though. She lets me stay the night sometimes." He shut his mouth quickly, obviously not meaning to say that.

"Does she? And why, dare I ask, do you stay the night at an old woman's house?" I arched my left brow and crossed my legs.

"I. . . my. . . well sometimes. . . um. . . just forget it." Did he think I was stupid or something?

"You're dad gets that bad, huh?" I smiled, an almost pitiful smile (Even though I hate pity), and nodded. "You can't hide such obvious things from me, Jounouchi Katsuya. Sometimes you're like an open book." I turned my head until I heard it pop and then yawned, trying to give him a sign that I was tired.

"Sleepy Kaiba-boy?" I glared at him and he laughed, taking the seat next to me. Was the thing a couch or a love seat, 'cause that boy sat pretty damn close to me. . . close enough to make me stiffen up for a second. . . my whole body, not my dick. Get your minds out of the gutter.

"Tell me, Jounouchi, how are things with you and Mai?" That was the girl he liked, right?

"Who?" He gave new meaning to the term 'dumb blond'.

"Mai, Kujaku Mai. You know, Duelist Kingdom, Battle City. . . I believe she was also one of those Orichalcos freaks. . . the blonde bimbo." I pursed my lips, trying to remember where else I had seen her.

"Oh, I don't know. She's pretty cool. I only see her at tournaments though. Why do you ask?" Wrong answer.

"I thought she was your girlfriend."

"Nope, I'm not into any girls." Extremely wrong answer.

"So you **are** gay." I put my hands in my lap, refusing to look at him, and nearly scooted away from him. . . except that there wasn't any more space to scoot on to.

"What?!" He sounded very insulted. . .

"Oh come on! It's dead obvious! You've been hitting on me for ages." I was joking, of course. Jounouchi had been making some rather perverted jokes towards me, but that was just childish teasing. He was a punk kid, and that's what people like him did.

"I have not! I just started hitting on you a few days ago!" Yeah, didn't see that reply coming.

I looked at him, wide-eyed, "I was actually joking, but my ears detect that you were completely serious." I eyed him, "Though that **would** explain a lot. You know, wanting me to sleep in your bed, wanting me to take my clothes off in front of you. . ." I gasped, leaping from the couch in complete distrust, "You probably really **were** going to rape me! You fucking sick-ass mother f-" I couldn't finish my sentence. Jounouchi had shoved me back onto the couch and begun smothering me with a pillow. I began to flail my arms and legs wildly, fighting just to breathe.

"Shut up! Shut the fuck up! I don't want to hear it! Be quiet, Seto! People like you should be seen and not-" The pressure was removed and I grabbed the pillow, chucking it across the room. He was on the floor on his knees.

"Seen and not _what_, Katsuya?" I couldn't be mad at him. That wasn't Jounouchi doing that. It was his father doing that, I just knew it. His mind was very readable.

". . . heard."

"Does he tell you that, Katsuya? Does he do things like that, Katsuya?" I kneeled in front of him, returning the favor for his comfort earlier, "Have you ever thought about getting medicated?" Yes, yes, pills are good. . . that doesn't sound much like me. Had I remembered my medication? I should never switch meds ever again.

"Medicated?"

"I think that you keep reliving shit that your father does to you."

"No, I-"

"What you just did," I glanced back at the pillow, "was **very** unlike you. I may not know you as well as Yuugi and the others, but I do know that you aren't the sort of person to try and suffocate me. . . only my competitors would try something like that." I sighed and stood back up, tired of kneeling, "Anyways. . . about your sexuality. . . you can't help who you fall in love with." Yeah. . . no one could help who they fell in love with. I found that I couldn't bring myself to look at him, though. . . why?

"Anyways, I'm going to do that homework that you excused us from that old woman with." I decided to leave out the fact that I was going to be changing. . . I mean, what guy in his right mind would tell a homosexual that they were going to be taking their clothes off? I would basically be inviting him to watch. . . okay, so obviously I have nothing against homosexuality. . . but now that I knew for a fact that Jounouchi may have a crush on me, I would have to be more careful.

I stepped into this bedroom, making sure to lock the door behind myself.

My bags were just as I had left them, clumped together in a corner of his tiny bedroom. I had seen college dorms that were larger, to be honest. I felt like a child, sitting on the floor with my legs crossed just as we were made to do in elementary school, and digging through my luggage until I came across my pajamas.

Turning back towards the door, as though somehow Jounouchi had unlocked it and was now gawking like some sick fuck, I made sure I was completely alone. I then checked the window to discover that the blinds were shut. Alone. Safe. Invulnerable. This is how it was back at home, at my mansion. There was no one around to see the me that truly was me. The Kaiba Seto whose body was something to be ashamed of, something for people to be appalled by, something for anyone to take one look at and immediately walk away.

I quickly felt self-conscious of the marks on my back that neither I nor anyone else could see. I knew they were there; they would always be there. While memories faded with time, scars would always remain, and I would forever be reminded of what was and would always be. The scars that criss-crossed along my skin, lacing my back. Whips, knives, even candle wax. Torture that sick men found pleasurable. Sadistic pedophiles with uncontrollable lust. The story of my life.

I could hear the doorknob rattle as it twisted, and then the unexpected creaking of the door as it opened. . . but I had locked it! "Jounouchi! What the fuck!" I whirled around as fast as my brain could register the action, trying to hide the marks that I so loathed, and snatched my shirt back up from the floor, covering my chest as though I were some sort of modest woman.

"What are those marks on your back?" He marched towards me, having seen what I feared most.

"The door was locked! How could you have gotten in?" I backed up against the wall, dropping my shirt when he came within inches of me; not exactly a position that I liked being in. I felt like a coward. . . a feeling that I was certainly not used to.

"The lock has been broken for a long time. . . what are those marks on your back?" Again with that damned question.

I sank to the floor, feeling utterly defeated after all that had happened tonight, "I. . . I'm not ready to talk about that yet, Jounouchi. . . please, let it go for now." It was true. I was not yet ready to tell Jounouchi about Gozaburo and his business associates, or about Satoshi, or the truth about Saki, or my mother and father. . . in all honesty, I would likely never be ready.

"We said no secrets, Kaiba!"

"I know, I know, and I'll tell you all about it. . . just not yet. Please, I just can't bear it right now." I clutched at my hair to make him feel bad and then forced tears to my own eyes for added effect. I really was getting flustered from everything, but not enough to really make me cry. I was past the point of crying. I wanted to just roll over and die right about now.

"Alright pretty-boy, finish changing and let's get to that homework!" He clapped his hands together and grinned that stupid grin. He started to rummage through his bookbag.

"Pretty boy?" I felt heat rising into my cheeks. Why didn't I yell at him? Why didn't I slap him? Something felt funny inside my stomach, but it wasn't nausea. . . an unexplainable feeling that I think I may have felt once before. What was this feeling, and why was I feeling it now?

- - -

It took me longer than usual to complete my homework, due to the fact that I was stuck tutoring Jounouchi through the entire assignment. Did he not pay attention during class? No, probably not. He was well known for slacking off. It was alright though, doing homework with him. We got along alright and would chat idly about teachers and random students, not to mention the abundance of gossip that was constantly spread across the school. By the time we finished, it was about nine o'clock at night, and we both decided that we weren't hungry enough to prepare dinner.

I decided that I didn't mind sleeping in his bed tonight.

* * *

Aww! Hooray! This is to celebrate my promotion from cashier to supervisor! Yay! I'm so happy! So yeah. I won't be making any more promises as to when I'll have another chapter out. I hope before Christmas. Wouldn't that be great? If I were to come out with a new **_Behind Blue Eyes_** and a new **_Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story_** on Christmas Eve? For those of you that celebrate other holidays. . . well, happy holidays, but I'm a Christmas girl myself.

Don't forget to review! I would absolutely **love** if you all would e-mail me, IM me on AIM, or add me on myspace! Hope to talk with each and every one of you!


	10. Day Three: Slut

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

So yeah, this chapter is relatively short, which means it will be simple to transfer into Seto's point of view. I understand that not a whole lot of people are reading this one, but that just means that those who do know the full story of **Behind Blue Eyes**. I'll continue to write it, even if I am eventually the only person reading it. I **will** finish my story.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yuugiou. If I did, do you really think seven-year-olds would be allowed to watch it? Especially with the rape scene that will occur on day six. Yes, it will happen. Only people that take the time to read the disclaimer will know this little spoiler. (Woah. That's what was on the original version. A rape on Day six? Hm. . . yeah, I guess it still applies.)

* * *

I agreed to sleep in Jounouchi's bed again. Why did I do that? I guess because it reminded me of when Mokuba used to crawl into my bed at night when he was afraid of a storm or a nightmare. I really missed when Mokuba would do that. . . I missed the warm body flush against my own, reassuring me that someone was there, that I wasn't alone.

For the first time in a long time, my dreams weren't littered with articles of the past. There was no Gozaburo, no Saki, no Satoshi, no business flunkies. My body wasn't violated as was usual in my tiresome sleep. Sleep was usually such a chore, and yet that night it was so wonderful and reviving. My dreams were strange, but peaceful. A dream where I stood upon a high cliff overlooking the ocean during sunset. A dream where I flew above the clouds on a fine moonlit night. A dream where I defeated Yami no Yuugi in a duel. . . hey, I really want to win, okay?

. . . A dream about Jounouchi Katsuya.

It was definitely a surprise, and being that it was a dream there wasn't a whole lot I could do to stop it. So I was destined to sit back and watch, or rather take part in, the scene that unfolded within my own mind. It really wasn't much. We were back at my mansion. . . or was it my summer home? . . . and on the couch. It was completely dark except for the golden fire that crackled softly in the fireplace. I was on his lap. It was a strange place, to be on some guys lap and him not trying to grope me or tear my clothes off of me.

No, Jou was simply holding me as I rested my head on his shoulder. He kissed my forehead a couple of times and rubbed small circles on my back as he held me with an arm around my waist. So gentle, so peaceful. . . pure bliss? No, no, no! It was the stupid mutt!

"Damn mutt!" Was what I wanted to scream out and shove him away. . . but my mouth refused to move except to let out a happy sigh, and my body was lifeless against the warmth of the blond's body.

The dream itself was disturbing at most, but I felt comfortable in knowing that it was just some outlandish nightmare and nothing more. . . the next 'episode', however, shook me to the point that I woke up with a start.

I was laying on a bed that wasn't my own and couldn't have been Jounouchi's, judging by its massive size. The sheets were softer than anything I had ever felt, and the air was so warm that I broke out in a sweat. The sweat rolled of my body which, I finally came to notice, was adorned in absolutely nothing. I was completely bare, exposed for all to see. . . no, just the one that loomed above me. The blond smiled a gentle smile. It wasn't predatory or lusty, just gentle and loving. Loving? No, no, that can't be right.

He ran one hand up and down my right side while the other hand propped him up as he moved between my legs. I wasn't bound at all and could have easily knocked him away and made a break for it. . . but again my body was unresponsive, and all I could do was lay back and take whatever came to me. . . what bothered me most was that it felt damn good. I felt nostalgic. Saki. . .

The scene changed within an instant and I found myself face down on the same bed, arms bound high above my head and legs spread apart with my ankles bound tightly to the bedposts. This was too familiar. Jounouchi was gone and in his place hovered Saki, his crazed grin just as menacing as ever. No, this wasn't the sweet Saki that I wanted to remember! Where was **my** Saki? The Saki that treated me like Jounouchi was. . . no.

I sat up in the bed, almost positive that I had woken the puppy up, but he was still snoring away in his uninterrupted slumber.

Glancing to my right, I found that it was only 5:30 in the morning. My heart was beating far too fast for me to fall asleep and rest a while longer before his alarm sounded. At least I could get some work done.

I slipped from the mattress without so much as a creak from the springs that I'm almost positive were older than a bed should be. Then again, the entire apartment had an aged air about it. There are a lot of houses like that, I usually associate such things with old clients of mine. When I say old, I mean senior citizens. You know, refrigerators and ovens that look like something you'd see in your grandparents' house. I don't really remember mine, but I've seen them in movies and such. I think that my grandmother was. . . a very tidy woman. Yeah, perhaps that's how she was. And my grandfather was. . . no, I really don't remember either of them. Then again, neither of the two, nor the rest of my so-called 'family' for that matter, was worth remembering.

It was too early for breakfast, not that I had much of an appetite right at that moment anyways, and so I sat on the floor beside my bags, pulling my treasured laptop from its case. It had been far too long. It was awkward sitting on the floor. The feeling was so familiar. What was this memory?

"_Sit down now! Just sit on the floor until my associates come in. When they arrive, you just sit there and look pretty like a good little boy, and don't move until they instruct you too! Do you understand that, you little slut?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Yes **what**?"_

"_Yes. . . master."_

"_Good boy."_

I shivered. That was so long ago? How old was I? No, no use in thinking about stupid things like that. Why was my heart beating so quickly? My eyes darted to the bed, resting on the sleeping form snuggled beneath the sheets. Something inside me wanted to wake him up because I wanted. . . company? What? No, that was just the sleep talking. Yes, I was still half asleep.

I found an outlet with a moment of searching, plugging in my precious machine. The bright light was comforting and brought my hearts pace back to normality.

Email after email, praise after praise, complaint after complaint, request after request. The usual bullshit, most of which went directly into my trash bin. I loved the 'select all' feature. Perhaps when Jounouchi had asked if I had a best friend, I should have mentioned it.

I chuckled a little at my own joke but covered my mouth and then checked to make sure I didn't wake the blond. Wait. . . why in the hell should I give a damn if I wake up that stupid mutt? No, I don't care at all. I could see his face, once my eyes had readjusted to the dark room. It was so small from where I sat, but so strong. He didn't seem like such a pathetic punk when he slept. He didn't have that goofy smile on his face, and his big brown eyes weren't staring at me like a lonely puppy stared. No, right now his face was very straight and he seemed older.

A chill ran up my spine. I decided that perhaps I should work on my notes for the project until the alarm sounded. . .

Okay. He had a mother, a father, and a little sister. Their names were. . . well shit, I didn't know any of the names yet! Oh yeah, his sister was at my Battle City tournament. Why was she there anyways? Her name was. . . Suzaku? Sadako? Shizuka? Hm. . . I think it was Suzaku. . . or maybe. . . maybe I'll just come back to that part.

So his parents divorced when he was a kid, likely due to the fact that his father is a raging alcoholic/gambler. What a guy. So from the looks of things, Katsuya went with his father, and Sadako or whatever went with the mother.

His living situation? Shitty. A run-down apartment that smelled strongly of beer and sluts.

"_Do you understand, you little slut?"_

The alarm blared, thankfully knocking me out of the trance that had slowly begun to consume me. Katsu- uh, Jounouchi wriggled around a bit rolling to face where I had once lay. I could see now that his eyes were blinking rapidly as they opened. Did he not see me against the far wall?

He sat on the edge of the bed, twisting his feet into the carpet and looking around in a half-asleep manner. His eyes rested on me for a fraction of a second before he leapt back into bed and yanked the covers back over his head with a yelp. I guess I startled him

"Did I scare you?" I asked, trying to hide my amusement.

He poked his head out from under the sheets, "Is that what you were aiming for? If so, you got what you wanted." The way he was right then was kind of. . . c- c- . . .

"I wasn't trying to, but it sure as hell was funny. I'm working on my project a bit more, I've been kind of slacking on it. I was looking for your notebook to sneak a peek at what you've written about me, but I couldn't find it anywhere. I was with you all night and never saw you hide it; you're sneaky, Jounouchi." Okay, so I hadn't really looked much more than a glance around the room. I just wanted to see where he put it, because I truly didn't see him put it away anywhere. In fact, I don't even remember him having it with him when we returned last night. . .

He laughed half-heartedly and rubbed at the back of his head and sauntered toward his closet to look for what I could only assume would be a school uniform. The way he was acting wasn't very reassuring. He couldn't possibly have left it somewhere. If he did. . .

"Uh, yeah, I'm pretty good at hiding things."

"Where is it?" I shot a nervous glare at his back, but I was somewhat glad that he couldn't see it. I'm sure that my worry was quite evident in my eyes, even as dark as the room was.

"I. . . don't. . . know. . ." I had to strain my ears to hear the words as they descended in volume. No, he couldn't have possibly said what I thought he just said.

"What did you say?" I rose to my feet, ready to throttle him if he repeated my fear.

"I said I don't know!" He spun around on his heels and I was quick to move close to him, my face red with rage.

"What the fuck do you mean?!" My heart beat hard against my chest, and I felt certain that it would soon break through and kill me instantly.

"I left it at the fucking karaoke place! We were in such a fucking hurry to leave that I-"

"You can't be fucking serious!" I gripped the collar of his pajamas, giving him a rough shake, "How could you fucking do this, you fucking son of a fucking bitch!" My life, my whole fucking life (or a large portion of it) was in a book laying on some god-forsaken table in some god-forsaken bar! Who would have picked it up by now? Some lowlife? They would sell it to the press for millions! I would be ruined! They'd know me as 'Kaiba Seto, the teen whore!'

"Get the fuck off of me!" The blond dog was stronger than I thought. He shoved me, and I stumbled backwards until I finally fell hard on my ass. I was stunned for a second due to the force, but returned to glaring at him the instant that I could. . . from my position on the floor, that is.

"Look," He bent down to stare into my eyes, "If you want to get it back before someone gets ahold of it, you're going to have to settle the fuck down and help me."

I was extremely pissed off, but I knew that what he said was right. Getting angry and fighting wouldn't solve the problem. I would do anything to get that notebook back. I hesitated a bit before taking the hand that Jounouchi had extended toward me. After helping me to my feet, he still didn't let go, and so I had to yank it away before the situation became **too** weird.

"Freak." Was the first thing that came out of my mouth.

- - -

Jounouchi made breakfast. It was biscuits, bacon, and eggs. I don't really think that any of it was cooked all the way, but we devoured the things so quickly, that it was really hard to determine the state of completion they were in. We had to get out as early as possibly to make it to that bar and then arrive at school on time. If we didn't find that notebook, it would be the end of Jounouchi Katsuya. . . and likely the end of me.

Nothing had gone my way ever since Yuugi had torn me down those few years ago. Very few things ever went as planned. This time was no exception. We barely made it into the parking lot before coming to our first obstacle. I froze mid-step at the black jewel that made itself clear in my eyes.

Just across the way, there was a glistening, black, PT Cruiser waiting like a predator for us to emerge. Saki leaned against the car, his hair more luminous than the paint on his vehicle. How could he have known that we would be leaving so early? No, he didn't know. He was probably waiting for us to head out towards school. I couldn't allow myself to get distracted. I was going through enough already!

My heart skipped a beat. Did he have Jou's notebook?

"Saki." Jounouchi bit the name off like bad food, the bridge of his nose wrinkling as his amber eyes narrowed dangerously. He looked almost intimidating. . . almost.

"I'm glad you remember me." That voice, it sent shivers running up and down my spine. It took so much not to physically shake.

"Leave us alone, you sick fuck, we have places to be." Jounouchi could hold his own well. As long as that man's cool gray gaze kept off of me, I'd be ok. . . and yet, I could feel my heart rate quicken again, and my breaths came in short, pathetic gasps.

"Oh? Where are you going? You both look a bit distressed." My fear, our eyes locked together and every pint of blood within me ran cold, "Seto-koi, I can make you feel better. I can help you, love."

Feel better?

"_Seto-koi, I can make you feel better. I can help you, love." He pulled me close to him, my back against his chest as he nuzzled the top of my head. Tilting my own head to the left, he nipped softly at my neck, rubbing circles on my stomach and thighs with his large, curious hands. His warm tongue lapped at my tears, "Please don't cry. I promise that I'll protect you from him. Some day, I take you far away from here. . . we can be together, Seto-koi."_

I heard myself whimper, but hoped that Jounouchi didn't. Saki had always been so good to me. . . so then why?

Jounouchi seemed to become more infuriated, "We're trying to find something, and we don't need your help. If you want to help so badly, however, you can do so by leaving and never coming back."

Leaving? I heard myself whimper again. Everyone. . . always left.

"Looking for something, eh?" His eyes kept mine in captivation, "What if I told you that I had the item you were looking for?" He stepped away from the car, reminding me just how tall he really was, "Come here, Seto, and I'll give you what you're searching for."

The notebook, he had it! My life, my whole life. If that thing got out, I'd be absolutely ruined! Everything that I worked so hard to achieve would be gone! All of the hell and pain that I had gone through would be for nothing! Anything. . . anything to get that information back.

I stepped forward, but the blond clutched my left wrist with great strength.

"It's a trick Seto! He doesn't know what we're after!" As I glanced back at him, I could see a strange smirk on his face, "If he had what we wanted, then he would be able to tell us what exactly it **is**!"

I stepped back, that same wretched noise escaping my lips once again. This time I was sure that Jou heard me.

I watched as Saki slung open the door to his car, sliding in and slamming it shut, obviously pissed off. Before he sped away, however, he leaned out his window. His expression was gentle, his eyes appearing more silver than gray, and a soft smile gracing his features. "I love you, Seto, and I will never stop loving you." I inhaled sharply until I could breathe in no more, and it held there, unable to escape. That voice rang into my ears, through my head, down my back, and into my arms, where the deep tenor left a tingling sensation in my fingers and toes.

I exhaled when he was out of sight.

"It's alright, Seto, he's gone." I didn't like the way he said that. Jounouchi sounded almost like. . . he was my protector or something. . . I didn't need a fucking protector! But. . . it was nice to know that someone cared, I guess. I'm getting soft in my young age.

"N-no shit, Katsuya." I didn't bother to hide the shaking in my voice; I knew that Jounouchi wouldn't poke fun at me for it. Did I just call him Katsuya? I glanced at my watch, searching for a change in subject, "It's already 7:30. We need to be at school before 8:30. We need to get going." I could hear the monotonous tone of my voice, but didn't care to animate it. My history was at stake, and it took everything within my power to keep calm. . . on the outside, at least.

"You're right. I hope it's open at this hour." Jounouchi quickly got quiet. I suppose that neither of us had really factored in the matter that the building might not open until later, with it being a bar and all. We hauled ass down the route that we had taken the day before.

- - -

We arrived to a terrible sign; the streets, which were usually lively with people, were completely deserted, and there didn't seem to be the slightest bit of movement anywhere in sight. Then came the worst sign of all: the hours listed on the karaoke bar that read ten in the morning until midnight. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! I could feel the vibration in my own body as I shook with anger, trying not to express out loud the words I was screaming in my head. Must stay calm.

Jounouchi seemed to sink a bit, until he perked up again suddenly. There was a noise inside the locked building. Through the glass doors, we could see a man who, we assumed, worked at the place. We obviously weren't an easy spectacle to miss, and caught his eye. He didn't hesitate a moment to unlock the doors and let us in.

"I'm sorry, gentlemen, but we don't open until ten. It's only 7:45." It was an older man, possibly in his late forties. His forehead was stuck in a permanent wrinkle, while his mouth seemed to be frozen in a smile. Old men like that creeped me out. They reminded me of. . . that's really not important. The notebook was the only matter at hand.

"What are **you** doing here so early, then?" I folded my arms and glared down at the creepy old man. The elderly were so easy to intimidate.

"Well, young man, I happen to be the owner of this facility. Now I must ask; what brings the two of you here so early in the morning, and on a school day at that? Surely you aren't above high school or college age."

I opened my mouth, ready to shoot a counter-comment, but the damned mutt was quick to intervene.

"We're here because last night we accidentally left something behind. You see, there was a slight incident in which we had to leave in a rush, and in our hurry we left something behind by mistake."

"You're talking weird." I mumbled, probably not loud enough to hear. He was talking strange though. His mannerisms. . . maybe that was his 'this is official shit' language.

"Well, young man, chances are the item that you lost is no longer here. It was either picked up by someone else or thrown away by a janitor."

Before I had the chance to make an outburst, the puppy made one for me, "It was a notebook and it had a shit-load of really personal information in it for a school project! We absolutely **must** get it back!"

"Oh! So you must be the boys that caused quite a bit of commotion last night!"

As if my instinct, my eyes darted to the floor, then the ceiling, and the walls were suddenly very interesting as well. All of those people had seen that, and already news of it was getting around. Did I feel sweat forming on my forehead?

The old man held the door open and stood aside, "I believe that I was notified of you leaving something behind. Let's see if we can locate it." As we passed by him, I could see his pitiful smile out of the corner of my eye. Pity. If there was one thing I hated more than anything else, it was fucking pity.

The owner led us to one of the backrooms, the break room maybe? There were a few tables as well as soda machines. With the flip of a switch, the room was illuminated and the object of our search lay innocently on the tabletop in the farthest corner.

Now, I was going to be a cool and collected and casually stroll over and take the notebook into my possession, you know, since it's **my** personal information and all. But no. Jounouchi had to be a complete dumbass, as usual.

"You **do** have it!" He yelled, lunging for the notebook as if his life depended on it instead of mine. He snatched the little spiral bound book from the cheap table and rushed back to my side, slightly out of breath from this little event. He was weird, and yet. . . it was kind of. . . haha, nah.

"Well," The owner began, smiling suspiciously, "I guess we still had it after all." Jounouchi attempted to leave, but I grabbed him by the shoulder. Something wasn't quite right.

"Wait," I urged, "Make sure it's the right notebook." I kept a stern watch on that all-too-friendly probably-a-freaky-pedophile man while Jounouchi flipped through the pages.

"Yeah, this is definitely mine."

I couldn't resist the chance to look at the pages, only to find that it was impossible to read it at a glance, "True; only **you** could write so terribly." I smiled a tiny bit, and I wondered if he noticed.

"Oh come on!" He locked his right arm under my own with his notebook tucked tightly under his left arm, and proceeded to drag me along the way we had come in, "My handwriting doesn't suck **that** much!" I felt a strange heat in my cheeks. Was it because he had hooked arms with me? That was just dumb! Such a stupid, childish thing!

- - -

Upon realizing that it was about eight o'clock, it was power-walking all the way to campus. We got there just as the sprint bell rang, though we were out of breath and probably looked like imbeciles.

"Yeah! Right on time! We kick so much ass!" The moron began to do a sort of march up to the double doors of our school, when I realized one **very** important detail and stopped him, once again, with my hand. "What now, Seto?" He raised his eyebrows at me.

I did my very best not to laugh. I curled my lips into more positions than I had thought possible, but it came to no avail. Was my frustration so extreme that I was finally going insane?

"Well," I snickered. Talking made it harder not to laugh, "I don't know about you," Another bit of laughter escaped me, "But I need my schoolbooks in order to get through my classes." That was the end of it. Hilarity took over and I bent over, bracing myself by resting my hands on my knees, and proceeded to chuckle in stifled fits.

"Well, Mr. Kaiba, what do you propose we do?" I couldn't answer him. I could barely even breathe at that moment. "What the fuck is so funny?"

I could feel my amusement building. "Well, we got ready early, got harassed by that jackass, took off like bats out of hell to a fucking karaoke bar, managed to get in there more than two hours early, got the notebook, hauled ass to school, only to realize that we have to go back and get our books!" Again, laughter consumed me, this time to the point that tears began to form at the corners of my eyes.

"So, Seto, you're saying we have to go all the way back to my apartment for our books?" I nodded and sighed, wiping at my eyes and letting loose one last laugh before turning back around to start our journey home. . . er, to Katsuya's home. Er, I mean, Jounouchi. What the fuck?

The walk back was boring as shit. I resorted to rambling on about Kaiba Corporation and a few of my recent ideas and projects that would likely be released in the near future. I had begun to sweat from the constant movement, and the fact that I couldn't see Jounouchi was beginning to bother me. I had this strange feeling that he was eyeing me. . . you know what I mean? That feeling a person gets when someone is closely watching them. . . that's the feeling that I had.

Then again, I had been feeling that way a lot lately. Jounouchi had been saying perverted things, sometimes even **doing** perverted thing. . . he would steal glances at me and would compliment me in ways a guy would compliment the girl he was courting. Was it possible that Jounouchi. . . had a crush on me?

"Jounouchi?" No reply came. "Are you listening?" I let my anger come through my voice.

"Yes."

"Really?"

"No."

"Stupid mutt."

"Sorry."

"What are you daydreaming about?"

"You." He flinched when the word left his mouth, but said nothing to withdraw it. So it was true. I felt the urge to cry, but I wouldn't allow it. Not here, not now.

I stopped walking. I had to put an end to this. "Jounouchi, go out with Anzu."

"What?"

"Go out with Anzu, or Mai, or. . . a girl. . . or a boy. . ."

"What the hell are you trying to say?" He now stood within inches of me, but I could see that he was nervous. . . I wondered if he knew that I was nervous as well.

"Go out with anyone. . . but don't even bother going after me." I tried to glare, but it was hard to do something that I didn't want to do, "Only a fool goes for a slut." It seemed that both of us were saying things we didn't mean to say today. But I was. . . just a slut.

"What? What do you mean by that?" His blond hair blew across his face as a gentle breeze wandered by. We were in a park that was basically empty. . . for that, I was thankful. I allowed for my glare to fade away; it didn't belong on my face to begin with.

"Only a fool goes for a slut." It deserved repetition. I couldn't take back something that I had already let slip out. This was for his own good. No, for the good of both of us. He and I weren't meant to be, and that was that.

"You aren't a slut!" With wild speed, he slapped me hard across my cheek, causing my head to turn to the side from the forced of the blow. My right hand instantly came up to nurse it.

"Why did you-"

"DON'T YOU **EVER** SAY THAT ABOUT YOURSELF!" My eyes went wide. His voice was loud and booming, the words ringing through my body far more than Saki's words had rang earlier that day. Jounouchi's voice, at that moment, was louder than anything else. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN YOUR PAST, BUT NO MATTER WHAT, YOU AREN'T A FUCKING SLUT, AND I WON'T LET YOU FUCKING TALK ABOUT YOURSELF LIKE THAT!"

I couldn't help but take a step back from him, my eyes refusing to blink or close. What would I say? What **could** I say? I was only good at. . . only good at one thing.

I scowled at him, "That's right! You don't know anything! I was a fucking slut! I let my own step fathers' business associates f. . . f. . ." I fell to my knees. I wasn't strong enough for this. All of the training I had gone through to hide my emotions. . . was all of that pain and time wasted?

Jounouchi grabbed me by the arms, looking me directly in the eyes, "No! You aren't a slut! You never will be! It isn't your fault that you're thin, and hot, and sexy, and gorgeous! It isn't your fault that you have the most beautiful eyes on the face of the planet, or that you're absolutely adorable when you laugh! It isn't your fault that you're pretty when you cry!" He went silent, and all I could do was tilt my head down to let my bangs hide my treacherous eyes, which allowed tears to cascade down my cheeks.

Beautiful, adorable, pretty. . . all of those words to describe someone like me? Someone like me. . . those words. I liked those words.

The rest of the way was silent, as well as the entire trip back to school. I didn't once look at him, even after my tears had long since dried up. I had too much on my mind right now to face him.

- - -

Our principal quickly allowed us into our class upon our arrival. It was still first block: Ms. Asuka's class. It amazed me that were managed to only be fifteen minutes late. The only thing we missed was going over homework, which was never something that I deemed important.

"I'm glad to see that the two of you could make it! I hope that you have been getting along well during your first weekend together! Take your seats and get out your homework so that I can check you off for completion."

I let my eyes wander around the room, but found that they kept finding their way back to a particular blond, and so I decide it would be best to just keep them glued to the front of the room. Even so, my mind still wandered to him. The most beautiful eyes. . . that's what he had said about me. He thought my eyes were beautiful? Again they wandered to him, only to come in contact with shimmering chocolate eyes. I quickly shuffled with some papers on my desk, trying to look occupied.

I couldn't stop thinking about him. . .

* * *

**Thank you:** BlueEyesjammys15 for being the beta for this chapter!

**Important:** For best results, read "Behind Blue Eyes" alongside this story so that you can see how they are similar and how they are **very** different. I wouldn't have written this story if there wasn't a significant reason for it. Whenever I release a new chapter of this story, it would be in your best interest to either read the new chapter and then the original, or read the original and then the new chapter. You don't have to, but it is **highly recommended.**

Yay! I know, I took a really long time to finish this one. I'm sorry! School is a lot harder this semester, but I get out of school 2 hours and 13 minutes sooner than I did last semester! (I have a free period fourth block and third lunch, so I get to leave right after third block, yay!) Anyway, I am happy that at least a few of my readers are reading this story as well! I am going to attempt to answer any reviews in ff.n PM messages so that you all aren't left unnoticed. I like keeping in contact with my readers!

Alright, enough of my babble! Take care, and don't forget to leave a review!


	11. Day Three: Back to School

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

Yup, I'm trying to catch this story up to the other one **still**. I wonder if that will ever happen. Anyways, I'm glad that people are enjoying this story along with the original. In fact, some have told me that they like this one better (usually because they like Seto more than Jounouchi, but that's beside the point). Enjoy this chapter just a much as the others, if not more! Haha!

**Disclaimer: **Blegh, no, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh; if I did, there would be a character named Saki tormenting our favorite brunette. (Seto: You bitch.)

* * *

**Recap:**

_I couldn't stop thinking about him. . ._

- - -

English with Ms. Asuka yet again. It was the same thing every damn week for five days a week. We seriously needed more days off from the monotony of 'formal education' or so the people up top liked to call it. 'Formal' my ass. Half of the kids in my class could barely spell words that were longer than five letters, let alone write anything halfway intelligent on something like an exam or a college entrance essay.

I went through a lot of teachings and tutoring during my time with _that bastard_ and so I really didn't need to pay any attention in order to make good marks in the class. The only reason I even attended her damn class, or any of my classes for that matter, was because if I had too many unexcused absences I would lose credit for my classes and would have to repeat a year. I also didn't want to be known as a high school drop-out, so I had to just put up with the stupid kids they called my 'peers'. What really sucked ass was the fact that Domino High doesn't have any advanced classes. Everyone takes the same level of the same shit. . . shit is right.

I pondered doing some work for my company; perhaps I would sketch a new design for something, or maybe write up a computer program code or something. The sketch sounded like a better idea. Though it would sound childish to anyone else, I love drawing. . . it's kind of a passion of mine. I especially love drawing people in fantasy-like settings. I suppose it's the child within me that escapes every now and then in the form of dream-like sketches.

I drew Mokuba a lot. He was the one person that I knew very well, and that I could easily picture in my mind. This way, I wouldn't need a picture or anything as a reference. It was always humorous to draw him in silly clothing and then show him the end result. He would always play-punch my arm, which usually gave me a bruise, or try to tackle me. . . he really was a good brother.

I pulled a fresh sheet of notebook paper out of my binder (yeah, a damn binder, shut up) and laid it flat on my desk. That's how it always was. I would get the paper and pencil ready and whatnot, determined to drawing and then. . . nothing. Absolutely nothing would come to mind. I decided to begin with the background and just draw the character, should I actually draw one, in later.

As I was busy scribbling in some random trees and rocks (what in the fuck was I drawing those for?), Ms. Asuka came by to look at my homework. Without moving to cover my 'art', I flipped through some pages, showed her the simple work, and went back to my previous task. She didn't care too much if I didn't pay attention. She knew that I had the school practically wrapped around my finger. If it wasn't affecting my work, or the work of anyone else, it didn't matter what I did during my classes.

Okay, this is a question for the artists out there. Have you ever been just doodling along and then some **stupid fuck** bumps your hand? Then there's a damn line on the paper, and of course the eraser never seems to be able to completely get rid of the mark. You know what I mean? Well, just as I was working on. . . a pond? A lake? . . . just as I was working on some damn water, a wad of paper comes out of _nowhere_ and pelts my hand, knocking the pencil to the desk where it promptly rolled onto the floor, after it left a lovely gray line on my damn paper, that is.

I glared in the direction from which the projectile came, only to find my lips wanting to curve up when I saw the offender. Jounouchi again, just like on Friday. What did he want this time? I did my best to keep from half-smiling when our eyes met. What in the hell was wrong with me? Maybe I just wanted to laugh at him. . . or something.

I bent down, first grabbing my pencil and then searching the floor for that damned paper wad, which was sure to be a balled-up note. Well, he definitely found a way to get my attention when he wanted to pass notes. Pass notes. . . what was I, some kind of gossipy high school girl? Geez. . .

I finally found the thing and flattened it out on my desk. It read, _"It wasn't just Saki, was it."_ No question mark, must a period. Was that a mistake? It really didn't matter, I guess. Just below it, with a much neater handwriting, I wrote, _"Saki was just one of an uncountable number."_ Did I really want to tell him that? Oh well, I'd probably just tell him everything eventually anyways.

I balled the note back up, ready to toss it at Jounouchi, hopefully hitting his damn head, when I realized that a certain someone was looming next to me. Shit

"My, my, I never expected to see the day when Seto Kaiba would get caught passing a note in class!" She put her hands on her hips, as though she were sexy or something. I flicked my eyes from her to Jounouchi and then back again. "Now then," She continued, "Stand up and read the note to the class."

You've got to be shitting me. Did she seriously think I'd do that? I tried to quickly weigh my options. How could I possibly destroy the note without the slightest possibility that the pieces could be found and put back together? Then it hit me.

I slowly stood from my desk, holding up the little wad that was our note and put it in my mouth. I nearly choked from trying not to laugh at the reactions from the teenagers around me. All of their eyebrows rose at the same time. . . so you can only imagine their reactions, especially that of Ms. Asuka, when I fought to swallow the damned thing. Note to self: Paper hurts.

"Seto Kaiba! Did you just. . .just. . ."

"Swallow the note?"

"Yes!"

"Absolutely, Sensei."

"What on Earth are you thinking?!"

"I'm thinking that I can't read a note that's in my stomach." The class began to laugh. I must admit, I had even amused myself with that one.

"Why would you eat that?!" Her hands were in the air now, and I couldn't tell if she was extremely pissed or extremely confused. Ha, probably both. . . stupid bitch.

Time to bullshit my way through this. . . "Paper comes from trees, and tress are plants, and we eat plants that aren't poisonous. . . I would say that it is perfectly safe. It did have a rather foul taste (Damn right it did), but a sip (gallon) of water ought to take care of that." Again I was rewarded with the nodding of heads and a couple giggles.

"What did that note say?"

What the fuck? Did she think that I just devoured a damn piece of paper for the hell of it? "Something that was worth swallowing so you wouldn't read it." I smiled and took my seat, trying my best to end the conversation.

The class was in a stunned silence before the snickering from one student triggered a mass of laughter that spread like some sort of rampant disease. Jounouchi only grinned at me like a dumbass, and I honored him with a little smirk.

Ms. Asuka was pissed, with reason I suppose, but she smiled a little bit. She was probably going to try and out-smart me. Yeah, that would be the day. "Jounouchi!" She yelled at my favorite blond, as though he was the answer to. . . did I just say my favorite blond? Uh. . .

"Jounouchi!" She yelled, louder this time, moving closer to his desk. The dumbass just stared at me with his mouth open. What in the hell was he doing? "Do you hear me Jounouchi?" She questioned, frustrated as shit now. "Jounouchi Katsuya!" That snapped him out of it.

"What? Oh, uh, yes?" A few of the children (yes, children) giggled as he stammered. Jou's big brown eyes looked up at his teacher with a sort of reluctance. At least he had stopped gawking at me.

"What did that note say?" She appeared to lean over him slightly. Did she think she was a badass or something? If that stupid dog told her. . .

"Maybe we can do an X-ray on his stomach and find out." He pointed at me with his thumb and gave her a sly grin. The class broke out into yet another fit of laughter, and even I was a little amused. Way to continue the joke. Good job, puppy.

"What is with you two? I can see Katsuya doing something like this, but **you**, Mr. Kaiba, have certainly surprised me today!"

Let's see now. . . in this situation, I should say. . . "What can I say? I'm a man of many surprises." I shrugged, closing my eyes for a moment and then winking at the flustered woman. A blush immediately crept to her cheeks. Ha! Easy as hacking a computer mainframe. . . well, that's easy if you're as smart as me. . . look, it's better than some stupid cliche, right?

"M-Mr. Kaiba! What has gotten into you?" She tried to act all disturbed, but anyone with any sort of intelligence could see that she was extremely excited by my flirting with her. Women like her are so pathetic. With her question, she had walked into a racy answer.

"No one recently. . . oh, you meant my attitude?" I could hear Jounouchi practically gag, and it took everything in me to keep from laughing. The smile, however, couldn't be hidden. "What can I say? I haven't been to work all weekend except for the bit I have done on my laptop and I've had so much sleep that I don't know what to do with myself. I guess I'm just in a lovely mood. This project is such a marvelous thing. Did a brilliant woman such as yourself come up with it?" I rested my chin in the palm of my hand, propping myself up by resting my elbow on the desk. When in doubt, flirt. Never thought you'd hear that concept from me, eh?

"Are you trying to flirt with me so I won't send you to the office?" Her face was flushed a bright red, and she had averted her attention elsewhere to keep from making eye contact with me.

"Yes." I stated plainly, "Is it working?"

She huffed a bit and made her way back to her desk, "How was everyone's weekend?" I leaned back in my chair. Victory was a sweet, sweet thing.

The taller Yuugi groaned, "Other than the fact that it was a constant death-match, I'd say things went rather smoothly." He cast a side glance at the white-haired psycho named Bakura. I wonder if they were really trying to kill each other. . .

Anzu giggled in that annoying way of hers, "I got to know Kioko very well, and she's so much cooler than I first expected! We have a lot of the same interests!" Kioko, her partner, smiled a fake smile. Apparently she didn't appreciate Anzu's company as much as the airhead let on.

"Kaiba and I have been decent with each other, and our projects are pretty far along. There's a lot more to the great Seto Kaiba than anyone in the world could have imagined." My head turned quickly towards the direction of Jounouchi's voice, and my eyes joined the stares of others as I attempted to burn a hole through the mutt's skull with my mind.

"Oh really?" Ms. Asuka was so nosey, "Like what?"

"You'll find out when I turn my project in." He dared to turn in his chair and look back at me, but I was quick to downcast my eyes. Normally I wouldn't do that, but I really wasn't in the mood to glare fire at him right now. Surely he wouldn't really put everything that I told him into that paper. All of those things are so personal! No one wants to hear about a broken and defeated Kaiba Seto. They all want the fantasy story. The story of the young orphan boy who, through determination, defeats a rich CEO in a chess match and is whisked away to some wonderful mansion, where he is given everything he wants and eventually inherits the family company. Yeah, that's the Kaiba Seto that everyone knew. . . so many knew him, and yet the only people that knew **me** were Satoshi, Saki, Mokuba, and. . . and Katsuya.

"Everyone, get out your project packets and a pen. There have been some changes made." That woman's irritating voice knocked me out of my thoughts. I sluggishly got out the items requested as she made her announcement. "Rather than the cookout and ropes course at the park on Saturday, we're going to have a cookout and pool party at the swimming complex in the Tsuki no Ao neighborhood. If any of you need directions, please raise your hand and I will give you a handout."

I visibly sunk down into my seat. A pool party? That meant swimming trunks and no shirt. My arms, my back, my wrists. . . those horrible, ugly scars given to me. . . created by me. Those disgusting, filthy lines that marred my skin. The skin that was always called 'flawless' by humanity. There is nothing beautiful about skin that has countless imperfections. . . and would likely have a few additions within the next few weeks, considering the stress of spilling my life out to Jounouchi. . . and then the return of Saki. . . Saki. . .

I cleared my throat loudly, "Ms. Asuka."

"Yes, Seto?"

"Will all students be required to dress for swimming?"

"Yes. Because we aren't requiring the ropes course, you will receive a participation grade by dressing in your trunks, Seto! I'm sure all of the girls will be pleased; you have nothing to worry about!" She smiled like a horny old maid.

There was nothing wonderful about the attention I would most certainly receive. Whether it be pity or disgust, I can't really predict, but either way it will be negative. Shame isn't something I'm used to feeling in public. These scars, these memories that span over my body, are hidden from the world. . . I just wish they could be hidden from myself. . .

"Alright then! Does anyone else need directions?" There was silence. "Are there anymore questions?" Still silence. "Okay, we'll just begin today's lesson! Since we're working on biographies, I'll show you some examples of good paragraphs and bad paragraphs! Then, we'll work on some grammar and spelling! Last, we'll work on making your paper flow!"

She went on with her mindless babble. Like I would listen to directions on writing a damn paper. My day had already been ruined, and I wouldn't give her the usual satisfaction by taking notes. School wasn't important to me. I had always treasured learning when I was little. I suppose that it was because my father had stressed knowledge and its impact on my future. I wanted a good career so that I could raise a family of my own. The thing I don't remember is. . . when I was little, what did I want to be when I grew up?

There wasn't much time to think, as I felt something lightly tap my foot. I shot the floor a look, as though the floor was molesting my shoe or something, only to find a neatly-folded piece square of paper on the floor. Another note, no doubt. I quickly retrieved it and glanced at Jounouchi, who had the sense enough to pretend he was paying attention to the lecture. The note read: _"What are you going to do?"_

So he knew that I was uncomfortable about the entire situation. He knew about my scars, and had seen them and he. . . what was his reaction? I don't remember. . . but what **was** I going to do? Nearly anything was worth sacrificing to keep it a secret, and that included some stupid grade. Never in my life had I made anything below an A- (and when I made the A-, Gozaburo beat my ass to a pulp) and so taking a 0 grade for not dressing for the pool would be extremely weird an suspicious for me, but it's not like I would have to tell them the true reason that I don't want to be shirtless. . . especially not in front of a bunch of women. I flirt with them, but only to get my way.

I scribbled "_I'm not really sure. I guess I'll just take a zero for that grade. An A on this project just isn't worth showing my ugly body._" onto the paper and refolded it, dropping it to the floor and kicking it to Jou's desk.

Yeah, girls weren't my thing. I suppose that in a partner I want. . . I want. . .

Jounouchi opened the note and read my reply. He looked. . . angry?

. . . I want someone that is stronger than me.

"Jounouchi Katsuya!"

Ah, fuck, not that bitch again. Jounouchi jumped in his seat.

"Are you passing notes _again_??" She was over at his desk in a hurry, the lights still out due to the fact that she was using the overhead. He crumpled the paper up quickly, throwing me a quick glance. "Alright, Jounouchi, hand it over immediately." She held out her hand.

When I caught his attention, I made motions of throwing a paper in my mouth, chewing, and then swallowing. I could tell he was fighting laughter. . . and I had to fight a smile. Really though, he needed to eat the note or she would certainly get it. . . which she did. With a strange speed, she snatched it from his hand and ran towards the front of the room like a little kid.

"Hey give that back! You can't read it!" Katsuya jumped from his seat to chase her down, but I was far ahead of him.

"You don't need to be passing notes in. . . class. . ." Her voice seemed to fade when she noticed me lingering high above her. No more mister nice Kaiba. She couldn't read that note. No way in fucking Hell. I lifted my hand to the same level as her eyes.

"Would you like to return that to me? You **would** like to continue working in this city, right?" My eyes were frozen in a glare and I made sure to keep my voice as business-like as possible. This was the Kaiba Seto that everyone saw on a daily basis. It was time to make up for my playful antics from earlier. I know very well that I'm intimidating, and it's wonderful to use to my advantage. My eyes. . . Kaiba Gozaburo said that I had Satan's eyes. . . right before I killed him.

The woman had the same expression that my employees did when I caught them talking shit about me. As though by hypnosis, she did as she was told and haded the paper back to me. I clenched it tightly and. . . well, I ate it. I locked eyes with Jounouchi, "Jounouchi, if I have to eat one more note today, I'm going to kick your ass. Leave me alone." I just hopped that he knew I wasn't truly angry with him.

When the bell rang I went straight to my locker to retrieve my chemistry textbook. Jounouchi made a point to meet up with me there.

"Do you have lead poisoning yet?"

"Pencils have graphite, dipshit."

"Do you have graphite poisoning yet?" He had the same stupid grin. Is it weird to think it's kinda cute? Yeah, that's weird. . . pretend I didn't say that.

I huffed to keep from smiling or laughing. "Anyways, we shouldn't do that note thing anymore; it obviously isn't very affective." I pulled the book from my locker.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Well, I'll see you during math class then!" He turned to leave. Math class. . . that was fourth block. That was an awfully long time from now. Until then, I'd have no one to talk to or pick on. . . I sat alone at lunch. Compared to being with someone as lively as him all weekend, today was going to be very. . . lonely.

"Actually, Jounouchi, I was wanting to ask you something. . ." He turned back around, but I made a special effort to fixate my attention in another direction. "Will you, perhaps, sit with me at lunch today? You don't have to, considering you have friends and all. . ." Then I realized how absolutely childish I sounded, "I mean, oh never mind. I'm being so weird." Indeed I was.

A hand came to rest on my shoulder, and when I finally faced him, he was smiling again, "I'd be honored to have lunch with the great Kaiba Seto." I couldn't help but lightly smile along with him before shutting my locker and making my way toward chemistry.

I found myself looking forward to lunch.

- - -

Chemistry class had students that were a little smarter than the average kid, but not much. It was actually AP chemistry, which would give college credit to those that did well on the final exam. I really only took the class so that I wouldn't be so damn bored all the time. It was interesting to hear them try to sound so intelligent and then listen to the teacher shoot down their ideas. The concepts were all ridiculously simple. My private tutor had taught me such things back when I was 15. I had been taught under strict conditions in the Kaiba mansion, so it was no wonder that I was at the top of my class. I would graduate as Valedictorian, and I honestly couldn't give two shits about it.

Mr. Kotani was the teacher. He considered himself a scientist and often referred to himself as one, which was total bullshit. True scientists would double over with laughter if they heard him say something so ludicrous.

I never had to pay attention anymore. He had given up trying to stump me with questions before first semester had even come to a close. In fact, **I** had been the one to stump** him** with my questions. Unlike this man with a teaching degree, I had been taught my a tutor and a real scientist. The scientist worked for Gozaburo. He was the one who came up with new chemical combinations for bombs to be created in Kaiba Corporation labs.

I was very proud to have converted a militant corporation into a company for games, theme parks, and arenas. That was the child in me. Games are pure. . . guns are not. Pure was something that I always longed to be, and yet knew that I never could be. It was always nice to watch innocent children have fun with my creations, though. In a way, I was the reason they smiled. . . and that would satisfy a part of my heart.

I had once told Isono (my flustered employee from battle city, remember?) about that feeling. He told me that I sounded like a proud father. I kind of was a father, really, considering that I had practically raised Mokuba on my own. Yes. . . Mokuba was like a son to me, and a brother at the same time. I always wondered just how much he really knew about our childhood. He never seemed to have an issue with Gozaburo, and if he did have one he never showed it.

After an 'incident' back in those days, Mokuba would come into my room and crawl into bed with me. I always slept better with Mokuba snuggled up against me. His little body up against me was a reminder that I must never give up, that I was fighting for a good cause. I would do anything for Mokuba's happiness. . . anything.

I glanced up curiously at the clock on the wall above the whiteboard. What class was Jounouchi in? I remember him doing biology homework and history homework last night after I helped him with math and whatnot, so he was in one of those. He was probably fast asleep, drooling on the desk. The thought made me chuckle slightly.

"Is something funny, Mr. Kaiba?" Mr. Kotani sounded a bit irritated, but I just stared at him without so much as an answer. "I'll have you know that the AIDS virus is no laughing matter."

My eyes tripled in size for a mere second before returning to normal. I smirked at him, "I must admit that I wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to your lecture, so no, I wasn't laughing about AIDS. . . but isn't it funny how it began in monkeys and was somehow transferred to humans?" There was no answer, so I decided to test his limits, "What I would like to know is who fucked the monkey." The wannabe-geniuses around me laughed.

"Kaiba Seto! That language won't be tolerated in my classroom!" He fumed.

The ends of my mouth fell and I narrowed my eyes dangerously, "Oh? And what will you do, Kotani Kimura? Will you send me out?" It was disrespectful to call teachers by their full names, which was why I made it a point to memorize the full names of all of my teachers. They thought that they were so high and mighty, but I was sure to put them in their place. "Well?" I leaned back, folding my arms and crossing my legs.

Mr. Kotani froze at the sound of his name and then sighed, defeated. "What has gotten into you?"

"You know, my teacher first block asked me the same question."

"There is obviously a problem, then. Did something happen this weekend that has you acting like a punk?"

I smiled, leaning my head back to stare at the ceiling, "Not something. . . more like some_one_."

- - -

For the first time in my high school career, I was the first person out the door and bolting for my locker. I felt like I was a little kid again. I used to always run home from school (we didn't live very far away back then) just so that I could play with my mom until my father came home from work. . . no, it wasn't the time to reminisce!

I quickly switched out textbooks and tried not to look too hurried as I made my way out to the cafeteria area. I had seen Jounouchi in the food line with his friends. He hadn't forgotten that he was sitting with me, right? No, of course not. Jou was a man of his word, if anything, and so he definitely wouldn't forget about me. He couldn't forget about me.

I could feel my heart filling with doubt. It really didn't matter, right? I always sat alone. I didn't need friends. Friends just. . . friends just died, they just got in the way.

I sat at an empty table in the corner of the giant eating section and pulled a yogurt and a novel (that I had already read a million times already) from my briefcase. That's it, look busy. Don't look like you're eagerly awaiting his arrival. . . which I wasn't, right? I wasn't excited or anything.

I couldn't help but notice the rapid bouncing of my leg. That could easily be explained. My leg was shaking because of all of the extra energy that I have from sleeping so much.

I held the book up to my face. The shaking of my hands could be explained the same way as my leg was.

I opened up my yogurt (Blueberry yogurt, my favorite) and retrieved my plastic spoon. Somehow I didn't feel like eating today. My stomach felt all funny.

I glanced up from my book, and found the explanation to the butterflies in my stomach. Katsuya came towards me, a pizza in hand and a smile on his face. I really. . . I really like his smile.

* * *

Hooray for an update! Due to the fact that I have to go to bed earlier tonight because of school, I didn't get a chance to have someone beta this. Sorry about any typos that there are! If there are any that really trouble the story, please send me a private message so that I can correct it immediately. I am posting this without a beta because I really wanted to get this chapter out to you all. The next chapter on my list of things to write is chapter seventeen of **_Behind Blue Eyes_**. See you then! Leave me reviews! I'm a review whore, ya know. . . 


	12. Day Three: Stalker

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

This one isn't as popular as the other one. Oh well! I'm gonna write it anyways! I'm trying to churn these out as quickly as possible, but obviously that isn't very quick, haha! Sorry to make you all wait so long! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Yuugiou. . . but don't you wish I did? Then again. . . you wouldn't get too many new episodes very often. . .

* * *

**Recap:**

_I glanced up from my book, and found the explanation to the butterflies in my stomach. Katsuya came towards me, a pizza in hand and a smile on his face. I really. . . I really like his smile._

- - -

Have you ever started smiling like a dumbass and not realized it until you had already been seen? Well, that really doesn't happen to me very often, but it did at just that moment, and I did my best to avert my attention back to my novel. Why was I so happy anyways? It's not like I enjoyed his companionship or anything. I had plenty of people around me. I had Mokuba and Isono and. . . and. . . well, I don't remember their names off the top of my head, but they work for me.

I glanced back up at him when he came to stand by me. He looked kind of sad or disappointed. "I take it that your previous class didn't go so well?" I eyed him as he sat down. He had one of those small boxed pizzas in his hand and dropped it to the table. I don't know if my ears were deceiving me or if it really made the nasty 'plop' noise, but the small amount of grease that splattered from it was enough to make my face scrunch up.

"No! I'm in a great mood! I was just thinking about things, that's all." He grinned at me and ripped open the tiny red box, taking a dramatic whiff of it's sickening aroma.

"That's disgusting." I informed him, laying down my book and turning my face away so that I could un-wrinkle my nose. I scooped up another bit of my yogurt, "That isn't healthy, you know."

"Neither is only eating a yogurt." He had a point, I guess. He sloppily bit into that cheesy mess, smacking his lips on purpose just to gross me out. "What are you reading?" He asked, taking another bite but chewing more quietly this time.

"This?" I lay my left hand on top of it, "Just your average novel. A romance novel. I've already read the thing about five times." Yeah, more like five million times, but he didn't need to know that. I slurped up some of my blueberry yogurt, "Even with a library of my own, it's still difficult to find a good read." There we go, change the subject a little, get a conversation going.

"Let's see it." He reached for it, but I quickly slid it away.

"Your hands are greasy." And they were.

"Only my left hand." He insisted, reaching for it yet again. I pulled it to my chest in an attempt to protect it, but he had no problem going after it. "Geez, Kaiba! You act like you're reading smut or something." Okay, so right about then I had one of those near-death experiences. How in the hell could he have guessed that. . . not that I really **was** reading smut or anything. . . I wasn't. It wasn't **that** graphic. . . was I blushing? Ah shit. "Oh. . . my. . . God. . . no way, Seto. You're reading porn!" I covered his mouth instantly.

"Shh!" A few students glanced over and cocked their heads at us, "You're drawing unnecessary attention." I ripped my hand away from his face when he decided to lick it. Nasty!

"So tell me, Seto. . . it is **gay** smut?" He grinned, scooting dangerously close to me.

"New subject." I managed to fight off a newly-approaching blush, finishing my yogurt off and laying the spoon on the table. I should've brought two yogurts.

"Yeah, fine, whatever. . ." He munched on his pizza for a bit, and a part of me wanted a little piece of it. . . "Hey Kaiba?" He asked, interrupting my concentration on the greasy pool left by his pizza, "What were you writing this morning in Ms. Asuka's class?"

I rolled my eyes, "The note to you that I wound up eating, you dumbass." How could he have already forgotten that?

"No, I mean while she was checking homework." He finished off his pizza and shoved the box aside to dispose of later.

He must have seen me drawing. "Oh. . . it's nothing, really." I looked into my yogurt cup, hoping that perhaps there was a small bit left that I had missed. . . but there wasn't. "I just write things sometimes." I lied, not willing to tell him that I had been drawing a picture.

"Can I see?"

"No."

"I bet you're a great writer!"

"You don't have the money to bet on anything right now." I smirked, trying to change the subject again.

"You're an asshole."

"Yes, I am." I stood, still holding my book tightly even though he had already figured out what it was. . . or. . . oh fuck it. I was reading a little romance novel that just **happened** to have a gay couple having sex in it. Are you happy now? I tossed out my yogurt cup, "Throw away that greasy cardboard and let's go outside. It's too noisy in here." It really was too noisy. That was what I hated most about school. I had to sit and try to do work or read while ignorant teenagers babbled endlessly about absolute nonsense. How was somebody supposed to learn while surrounded by complete stupidity? . . . not that any of these poorly-paid teachers could possibly teach **me** anything that I don't already know. During Gozaburo's lifetime I was taught by the best.

I left the cafeteria, followed by Jounouchi at my heels like a puppy after it's master. Normally he would have said something akin to "I'm not taking orders from some rich brat!" but he didn't do that this time. . . why not? He really had been acting odd lately.

It was so much quieter outside. The wind blew softly and it wasn't chilly at all. I always went outside when the weather was nice. There was one particular tree in the schoolyard that was larger than the others, and I had chosen it as my place for relaxation. Typically I would read (or in most cases, re-read) a novel, or look over the documents of a possible client, but today I would have a companion with me. Well, perhaps he couldn't be called a companion, but perhaps. . . well, perhaps he could. . . couldn't? Could? Hell, who the fuck cares? The fact is, he was there with me under the tree on that particular day, and that was very different from my routine, different from my norm.

I stopped when we arrived and sucked in a breath of fresh air, only to have the wind knocked out of me when a certain dumb blond ran into my back.

"What the hell, Jounouchi?!" I yelled, glaring at him while recovering from a near-loss of balance. His hand had wound its way around my wrist during that instant. I pulled it away quickly, "What are you doing?!"

"Sorry! I was trying to keep you from falling!" He rubbed at the back of his head. My only reaction was to roll my eyes and turn away. Sure, he made mistakes, but it was getting ridiculous. "I was daydreaming." He admitted, and that cleared things up a bit.

"About what?" I asked, curiosity getting the best of me. He daydreamed a lot, as I had come to notice, but I don't recall him telling me what consumed his thoughts so frequently.

"Oh, it's nothing, really." He said, clearly mocking my answer to him from our previous conversation. I rolled my eyes again instead of smacking him on the back of the head like I wanted to.

I sat down beneath the tree, just as I did on most days.

"You're sitting in dirt." The _genius_ pointed out, apparently thinking that I was careless enough to sit in a pile of filth.

I tried my best to keep my cool. "No, there's grass here. I come here a lot when the weather is nice. I can't stand all that noise." I sat there for a moment, letting the wind caress my skin. It felt wonderful. Jounouchi just stared at me as though I were some sort of spectacle. . . or was he daydreaming yet again? "You daydream a lot."

"I thought we had already established that." He was right, we had. The brown-eyed teen took a seat next to me, a bit too close to me. The wind tossed his messy golden hair against his face and against the trunk of the tree. He had nice earthy tones to his coloring. His eyes were brown like tree trunks. . . isn't there a more beautiful way to describe brown? What are some things that are brown? Tree trunks, dirt, shit. . . how about chocolate? Okay, his eyes were like chocolate and his hair. . . his hair was golden like. . . like the sun. Hey, I knew that reading Mokuba's manga would pay off some day. . . look, when you read as much as I do, you get to looking for other material. (AN: Hair like the sun. . . it's from Saiyuki.)

"I guess." I muttered, remember that I was supposed to be having a conversation. "I daydream sometimes." Of course now all I could think of was how bad of a combination chocolate and the sun were. . . I needed some better comparisons. Why the hell did I need to compare his coloring to something? What am I, a fucking poet?

"What do you dream about?"

Dream or daydream? Such a wide variety. . . "Lots of things." Now that I thought about it, I daydreamed a lot during class or during my work, even at night while I lie awake. "Mostly about how things would be different had different situations occurred in my life. Like what kind of person I would be had my original parents not died. . . or what kind of person I would be if I had let Gozaburo live. . . or if I had went ahead and befriended you and Yuugi and the others. . ." Okay, so that last part was meant to have been voiced on the inside, not the outside. Maybe he would drop it and pretend that it was never brought up.

A part of me kind of wanted to join their little group, but I really didn't want to. I mean, it would be kind of nice to have someone to talk to just for the hell of it, or to go out to eat with, or to go catch a movie that looks decent. Someone other than Mokuba to share my pool with or share my ideas for inventions with. I had created so many different games, and yet I had no one to play against. . . even Mokuba would rather play with his friends. I never really got to have friends when I was younger. . . but I was at the top now, and as they say, _'it's always lonely at the top'._

"You're a good person, Seto. You shouldn't worry about who you could have been, but who you **can** be. You can change whatever makes you unhappy, and become the person that you want to be. These past few days, I've learned so much about you, some good and some bad. . . but I'm beginning to understand what made you who you are today. I had always thought that you were an asshole because you thought you were better than everyone else. . . and maybe that was the reason in the beginning. . . but in the end, I think that it was your hatred for the fact that we have friends and you don't that made you act like an ass towards us."

No way, that wasn't the reason at all! I'm only an ass to them because I don't want. . . I don't need. . . I'm not allowed to have friends. Gozaburo always told me that they get in the way, and they do. They only die and cause grief. Satoshi. . . Satoshi was one of the few friends I had managed to gain during my life with Kaiba Gozaburo, but in the end, he had to die. He was in the way of my studies, and he had to be eliminated. . . did he have to be? Was he really in the way? What should I say in reply to Jounouchi's accusation? "You make it sound like I'm some kind of pitiful loser."

He leaned closer and I looked down to make sure that we weren't touching. "That's not what I meant." He assured me, "Anyways, you need to just work on showing people how you really are."

"So that corporate men can walk all over me? There's no way in hell! Right now, CEO's shiver when they hear the name 'Kaiba'. I am at the top of the corporate world and I plan to stay on my little perch for the remainder of my career." _It's always lonely at the top._

"Seto? This probably isn't the best place to discuss it, but," He paused for a second, giving me time to brace for what I knew was coming, "This morning, you said something about your fathers' business associates. You never finished your sentence, but I think that you were about to say. . ." He looked around, making sure that the coast was clear of anyone who may happen to overhear him, "I think that you were about to say that you let them. . . that you let your fathers' business associates fu- have their way with you." Though he tried to reword it, the effect was still the same.

Yeah, they fucked me. Just say it, they screwed my fucking brains out. And I let them, I let them do that to me.

I tightened my lips, narrowing my eyes as a warning, "You're right; this **isn't **the place to be discussing this. Perhaps I'll discuss it when we go to your house. Or maybe not. That is definitely something that is extremely complicated." No, I would certainly find a way to make him forget about it.

"You aren't a slut." I faced him abruptly when he said that, but he wasn't looking at me at all. He looked so serious. "No matter what may have happened in your past, you aren't a slut." I closed my eyes, trying so hard not to smile. . . but I couldn't help it.

- - -

We had sat there like that, for the remainder of lunch, discussing such subjects as our previous class period and how much each academic sucked.

Third period came quickly, unlike other days where lunch seemed to drag on longer than English class. Then again, I'd rather be doing nothing than doing nothing while listening to some dipshit woman who thought she was intelligent.

My third period was History. Holy shit did I hate History. What on Earth could possibly be more boring than sitting in a room and practically living the History Channel? On top of that, just when things couldn't seem more awful, the teacher was an old man with a monotone voice that spoke veeeerrrryyyyyyyyy sloooooowwwwwwlyyyyy. It was hell in a 20 X 20 room (I counted the square foot tiles on the ceiling and therefore knew the rooms measurements. That's how boring it was.).

Normally I managed to stay awake, but today I either dosed off or stared into space for an hour and a half. . . and the bell to release me rang before I even thought about it.

Fourth block came around, which meant that it was actually time for something that posed a small challenge for at least a couple seconds. Did I skip to fourth block that quickly? It's not that it was important or anything, just more interesting. I don't know why, though, I really don't.

"Everyone take out your homework!" Our math teacher, Mrs. Kaori, chimed. She was better looking than Ms. Asuka, which was probably why Kaori was married and Asuka was not. She began making her rounds. I stared at Jounouchi, who more-than-enthusiastically whipped out the homework I helped him with and slammed it on his desk. He was so much more different when he was surrounded only by the wind. . .

That's when the idea hit me. I pulled out the drawing I had begun earlier. I knew what I wanted the picture to be. Doing my best to remember the way Jou had looked under the tree, I began to sketch.

"Great work, Mr. Jounouchi!" She cooed as she came by the blond's desk, startling me from my work, "Mr. Kaiba helped you, I presume?"

"Yeah. I like having a hot tutor."

"Can it, you filthy mutt." I knew he was joking. . . I **think** he was joking, so I went along with it. Then it occurred to me, "Wait a second. . . how did you know I was staying at his house?"

Mrs. Kaori chuckled a bit, a blush coming to her face, "The fact that you and Mr. Jounouchi got paired up for the final senior project is a hot topic around the school. You two are always at each others' throats."

"I don't see why students feel the need to gossip about it. It's no big deal, really. We are both man enough to put our differences aside for the sake of our final grades." I folded my arms and snuck a peek at Katsuya before closing my eyes. Really though, it shouldn't be such a huge deal, whether we fight a lot or not. There were plenty of people in our school that argued on a daily basis. I could hear the puppy sigh. I folded up the picture and jammed it back into my bag. I wouldn't be finishing that today.

"Alright, students! As usual, we'll go over the answers out loud in class, and if you have any questions about how to work the problem, I'll be happy to walk you through it up here on the overhead!" She stepped to the switches on the wall, darkening to room, and then turned on that wretched machine with the irritating hum and the faint light.

I couldn't have Jou writing notes to me again this time, especially with news and gossip floating around about our staying together for the week. I decided to throw a note of my own. It read: _Hey mutt, pay attention today. The last thing I need is for you to fail with the only excuse of 'I was messing with Kaiba'. Got it?_ It made enough sense that even a dumbass like Jou would understand.

I tossed it at him, but towards his legs so that it wouldn't be sailing at Mrs. Kaori's eye level. The last thing I needed was to have to eat yet another note. I was already on the bad side of two of my teachers. He felt it hit his leg and much to my appreciation, he inconspicuously retrieved it and read the contents, then balled it up and shoved it into his bookbag. Not once did the blond look back at me. So he was listening. . . good.

As Mrs. Kaori solved simple math problems for the brain-dead losers in the class, I allowed for my mind to wander. . . to wander back to that morning. The way that Jou had spoken to me. . . he seemed so strong then, and so huge. His words rang out in my head like there wasn't anything else in the world that I should hear other than his voice. He yelled at me more fiercely than I had ever heard from him, and for once in my time with him, I couldn't read his emotions. Was it anger? Though he yelled at me with his brows knit together and his body in motion with what seemed like wild rage, I couldn't say for sure that he was angry. It was more like. . .

. . . like sadness. Sometimes, if people get really upset, they get wild and start yelling, and sometimes do crazy things. If someone gets upset enough, they can even go so far as to murder the source of all of their sadness. . . all of my sadness. You took my one friend away from me, and then set me up with some god damned business man's son that was a fucking pedophile! You sick as son of a bitch!

I could hear my desk rattle as I shook with a new-found anger. . . and then I calmed myself. This wasn't about Gozaburo, not now. This was about Jounouchi. He said that I wasn't a slut, he said that the past didn't matter, he said that I can change who I am and become who I want to be. . . he said so many things, and I couldn't help but hear them and accept them as solid truths. His word almost seemed like the word of. . . I'd say God, but would that sound any good coming from someone like me? No, there was no place in my heart for a God. . . however, Jounouchi seemed to be filling in some void in that small heart that I have.

I was staring accidentally at the back of the blond's fluffy golden head when he sighed rather loudly, causing me to snap out of my daze and our teacher to falter in her lecture.

Mrs. Kaori didn't bother to call him out, "Well then, if that's all of your questions, we'll begin today's lesson!" She clasped her hands together in that same annoying manner that Ms. Asuka does, and shut off the overhead, turning on those gleaming lights.

And like Katsuya, I tried my best to pay attention.

- - -

The school bell rang and Jounouchi, like the rest of the antsy teenagers, flew out the door. I was a bit disappointed, but then my hopes jumped back up when I saw him lingering just outside the door. Deciding to annoy him a bit, I took my sweet time packing up my belongings. It's not like I had anywhere to be or anything. I packed my bag and stood up very slowly, expecting to find Jou staring at me, eagerly waiting to go home. Instead, I could see him standing with that group of friends of his, chatting away. He looked kind of. . . pissed?

I listened closely.

"He's really not such a bad guy once you get to know him." Jou was talking about me. "I can totally see what Mokuba has been preaching to us about all along. In the end, Seto's a great person, deep down."

Honda looked skeptical, "Yeah, deep down. . . deep, deep, deep, deep, deep. . ."

"Look, I'm not going if you all won't let Seto come." Jou was going somewhere? He wanted me to go with him? Where? Why?

"Calm down, Jou! Kaiba can come! Since when did you start openly calling him Seto?" Yuugi seemed a bit surprised at his friends sudden anger. He probably wanted Jou to go to his house

". . . deep down." Honda finished.

I decided it was the perfect moment to make my entrance, "I like how you all talk about me when you think I can't hear you. I don't want to go to Yuugi's house, Jounouchi. I'll stay at your house and do work on my laptop; you can go play with your little friends." Yes, I could do my thing and he could do his. That was how it always had been and always should be. They didn't want me around anyways. . .

"I don't want you staying home alone." He looked me dead in the eyes and was completely serious again. I wasn't sure if I liked this serious Katsuya very much.

"I'm not a child, I can stay home alone."

"Someone could break in and hurt you." True, but. . .

"So what? I could just kick their ass." He grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him with the same intensity. Who the hell did he think he was?

"Let me try that again, with a bit of different emphasis. . . **someone** could breaking in and **hurt** you." Oh. . . he was worried that Saki would hurt me again? Jou was worried. . . no harm in that, I suppose. But Saki wouldn't know which apartment I was in, and there was no way of him knowing that I was home and Jou was away.

"Whatever," I tried to sound irritated, but was actually kind of. . . happy? Touched? "If you're going to be so annoying and stubborn about it, I might as well. I'll just bring my laptop and do my work while you play with your friends." I smirked and he appeared to be happy again. Much better.

"Well then, it's settled." Anzu always had to rear her ugly head, "We'll all go to Yuugi's place!" She bounded down the hallways, with the rest of us in a non-enthusiastic pace behind her. . . well, except Yuugi, who bounced along right with her.

The sun was warm and the breeze was perfect as we took our first few steps outside. No, the air wasn't quite right. My body felt cold. . . and then I saw the source. I froze, midstep, and Jounouchi ran into me just like earlier. This time, however, I didn't lose my balance. I couldn't do anything.

"Seto? What's wrong?"

Can't move. Can't speak. Can't think. Saki. Saki is here. Why are you looking at me like that? Why won't you hold me, Saki? Hold me just like you used to. They won't touch me if you're with me. Protect me again. Protect me from them. Say such sweet things to me, just like you always did.

Saki, if I can't have you, I don't want **anyone**.

* * *

Hooray! Yet another accomplishment, and it didn't take so long! I've already begun writing chapter 18 of **_Behind Blue Eyes_**, but another chapter of this story will very likely come out before that one does. I'm still trying to catch up, after all!

E-mails, messages on myspace, an IM on AIM (I am cryoftheicetears), and most importantly reviews! All are welcome and all are appreciated! Someone sent me a message on myspace yesterday and I was so happy! Hardly anyone talks to me on there :(

Don't get your hopes up or anything, but I think that I'm finally getting down to business here! My inspiration? Haha, Yuki Eiri! (Chews on the Gravitation novels and recommends them to everyone.) Tata for now!

**Special thank you** to Cucumber Kun for being my beta this time around! Go read her SetoXJou fic (Seto is the seme, sorry folks) it's really good!


	13. Day Three: Beautiful When You Smile

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

Oh shit, another chapter? Could it be? Yes, yes it could! Alas, another chapter for all of my lovely readers! Enjoy it!

**Disclaimer:** Yuugiou belongs to creator Kazuki Takahashi. I'm not making money off this, but wouldn't it kick ass if I could?

* * *

**Recap:**

_Can't move. Can't speak. Can't think. Saki. Saki is here. Why are you looking at me like that? Why won't you hold me, Saki? Hold me just like you used to. They won't touch me if you're with me. Protect me again. Protect me from them. Say such sweet things to me, just like you always did._

_Saki, if I can't have you, I don't want **anyone**._

- - -

Something came between us. Something golden. . . Jounouchi? I could feel his hands pulling my face down to look at him. His eyes were so serious now. Why were they so serious? It was just Saki. Saki was wonderful, always so wonderful, and yet. . .

"Come on, Kaiba, let's go to Yuugi's place." He smiled. To Yuugi's place?

I looked above his head, over at Saki. Saki. . . who had betrayed me. Jounouchi, on the other hand, Jounouchi was only kind. Would he betray me too someday? I could only hope not. I couldn't get attached to anyone ever again. I nodded in agreement with his wishes for now, turning towards his band of friends.

"Jou? Kaiba? Are you two coming or not?" Yuugi. . . heh, he was so short. Did he think he looked important with his hands on his hips?

"Yea, you lovebirds, let's get going!" Honda was a dumbass. . . and yet I had forgotten Saki. I was absolutely **not** in love with that cur!

I shot the brunet a glare, "Lovebirds? Ha! That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" I rejoined their little group, Jounouchi follow me close at my heels. I did my best not to look at the one whose presence was absolute and ominous. Though I heard him speed away in his car, I could still feel him, his existence like a sheet of ice covering my entire chest. As long as he remained in my memory, he would be like a weight on my heart and on my soul, a permanent fixture in my mind.

Anzu dropped back to walk beside Jounouchi, obviously to be nosey, "Jou? Who was that guy that you and Kaiba were staring at?" It really wasn't any of her business. I worried about what the blond would say to her.

"Not sure, but he was staring at us. . . you know how Kaiba is! You can't stare him down like that and get away with it!"

I shook my head. Jounouchi Katsuya really was a dumbass.

"Oh, okay!" The ditz grinned, accepting such a lame and unreasonable excuse, and skipped back up to practically lean on the taller Yuugi.

This time the white-haired kid dropped back. What was his name again? What is Ryou? Anyways, he fell back in line much in the same manner as Anzu. "Who was that **really**?" His eyes narrowed. So he wasn't as dense as the girl, what would Jounouchi say now? Surely he wouldn't spill anything to this albino. "Did you pick a fight with someone again, Jounouchi?" He smirked. . . funny, I don't ever remember seeing him smirk like that.

"Haha, uh, something like that. Se- er, Kaiba and I were at a karaoke bar and me and the waiter got into it. Haha!" He rubbed at the back of his head. What kind of stupid excuse was that? I rolled my eyes, folding my arms across my chest. If that boy believed something so stupid. . .

"How typical of you Jounouchi." He smiled and left. Holy shit. You've got to be kidding me. No wonder they all had no problem hanging around the stupid blond. Then again, he was the one fooling them. . . so did that make him more intelligent? I had always thought it was the other way around.

- - -

I never thought I'd once again set foot inside the Kame Game shop. The last time I was here was the first time I was here. I had kidnaped Yuugi's grandpa and. . . well, it's embarrassing to think about.

"Grandpa? I'm home, and I brought my friends along! I hope you don't mind!" Yuugi called out as we entered, the old man came into view through a doorway in back. I'm sure he'd have something to say about me being there with them.

"Ah, the usual crew I see." He smiled, looking at each of them, until he came to me. He frowned then. "What is **he** doing here?" Well, that wasn't as awful as I thought it'd be.

"You got a problem with him being here, gramps?" Jounouchi piped up quickly to come to my defense. He shouldn't do that in front of his friends. They might suspect him of something weird. He must have realized this too, "Sorry, gramps, didn't mean for it to come out that way." Again, he rubbed the back of his head. Did it itch or something?

"That's alright, Jounouchi, I know you didn't mean any harm by it. I'm surprised to see that boy here." He hobbled over and stood in front of me, smiling with that creepy smile of his, "It's good to see that you've changed, Kaiba." Changed? No, I haven't changed, and I never would change. I am the way that I am for a good reason.

"I haven't changed a bit, you senile old fool." I glared. I could see the disappointment on their faces. That's it, break their hopes, break them and watch them crumble and die. There was no hope for change. Change was bad. Change led to destruction. Jounouchi was waving his hands at me, trying to shut me up. Pfeh, like I'd let someone like him stop me, "I'm only here because a certain **someone** decided to drag me along." I shot a glare at Jounouchi and closed my eyes. I didn't really want to glare at him, I guess.

The taller Yuugi, Yami no Yuugi I guess, decided to interrupt, "How about we go on up to Yuugi's room and settle down? I'm sure that everyone will feel better when we do."

- - -

Yuugi's room was like a child's room. The colors were all bright, the walls dotted with various game posters. Every surface had some sort of figurine or stack of cards decorating it. He had white sheets on his bed, which reminded me of something you'd see in a female's room. Basically, it was something you would see in a furniture ad for five-year olds. Did none of these dumbasses see that it clearly wasn't a bedroom that a teenage boy should have?

"What the hell kind of bedroom is this?" I couldn't help but look absolutely disgusted. Honestly! Sure Yuugi looked like a ten year old, but he didn't have to live like one too. "How old are you again, Mutou?"

"W-what's wrong with my room, Kaiba? I think it's cool." He sounded like he would cry at any moment, his bottom lip quivering and his eyes watering up like a child. . . gee, how fitting.

"It's awesome, Yuugi!" Jounouchi lied, trying to shut me up with pathetic warning glances.

"Whatever, morons." I really didn't feel like putting up with this today. . . or any day really. I had always thought that maybe it'd be nice to have a circle of friends. . . but an event such as this just reminds me why I never bothered to get friends after I murdered the one that kept me from getting any.

I sat at Yuugi's desk and popped open my briefcase, pulling out my laptop and setting it up. Hey, if I'm going to have to waste away precious time by sitting in this daycare, I might as well do something constructive.

They all sat down on the floor. Oh, was it story time already? Haha. . . children.

"So what do you all think about the pool party this Saturday." It was Jounouchi. I couldn't help but stop typing for a moment when he mentioned the pool party. I had completely forgot about it. I began to type again, trying to ignore them, but still not able to drown them out.

"I think it's awesome!" The girl all but yelled, "I love swimming! I heard there's going to be hamburgers and hotdogs and all sorts of things there! It's going to be fun!" She clasped her hands together as though to show some sort of ridiculous excitement. . . excited about food, eh? And I thought that Jounouchi was the only one that had a black hole for a stomach.

"I'm kind of nervous about it." That voice, I think it was that Ryou boy. He sounded like such a pansy, really. "I'll have to get more sun screen. I burn so easily, it's awful!"

"You look damn good in those trunks, though." The same voice, but deeper. What did they call him? Bakura? "And," He began again, "Ryou has those new swimming trunks, you know the ones that are shorter? They've become quite popular among guys with nice legs."

I couldn't help but steal a glance down at them when he said that. A certain blond started to smirk. I made up my mind. They're all gay. Not that I'm against homosexuality or anything. . . I have no reason to be, but. . . wow. Why was Anzu in their group then?

"Kaiba? What kind of trunks do **you** wear?" Was that Yami no Yuugi? That fucking-

"Yes, the priest's legs would be displayed very nicely." Bakura commented, chuckling like a damned pervert.

I spun around in Yuugi's chair, seething. "I won't be dressing out." It took every ounce of strength to keep from yelling at them. . . or killing them. . . or both.

"You're going to take a less-than-perfect grade?" Honda looked at me with mock disbelief, "That can't be right. It's just swimming trunks, what's the big deal? Do you actually have a really ugly body and you won't swim because you don't want anyone to see it?" He started laughing and the others followed his lead. . . of course, he didn't realize that he was right. My back was so marked up with hideous scars. . . but they could never know that.

"His body isn't ugly!" The puppy snapped at them, and I think I smiled a little bit by mistake.

"How would you know?" Yuugi's wide eyes opened to their full size and he grinned. . . since when was his mind in the gutter? "Have you seen it, Jou?"

"The fact of the matter is," Jounouchi began, avoiding the question, "Seto's body is just as good as anyone else's, so leave him the hell alone about it. He just doesn't want to go showing his body off to all the perverts in our school Ryou will probably have the same problem!"

Was he saying that Ryou looked just as good as me? Did he like Ryou? I gazed at the white-haired boy. He was decent looking, but. . . I didn't look better? Jounouchi didn't like me better? Wait, why do I give a damn whether he likes me or not? I don't. . . do I?

"Hell no he won't!" Bakura and Honda chimed in unison. It was obvious that they both had a thing for Ryou. That would be one scary threesome.

"I'll kill anyone who so much as looks at my hikari with lust." He glared daggers at Jounouchi's ignorant friend. Hmm. . . I could probably get along alright with this Bakura fellow. He definitely seemed much more intelligent than the others. Perhaps he could make decent conversation.

"Anyways!" Yuugi needlessly yelled, "I was thinking about all of us getting together on Friday after school and going shopping! We can all get new suits!" He smiled.

"I'm game," My current housemate agreed, turning to me, "How about you, Kaiba?"

"No way in hell, mutt." I had begun working again when the albino and the brunet had started their death match.

"Oh, come on! It'll be fun! You probably don't own any swimming trunks anyways. We can get you some of those new kind that Bakura was talking about."

I stopped typing, turning around to face him angrily. "You just want to stare at my legs, you fucking pervert." Why was I flattered? "I said it once and I'll say it one more time; no way in hell." I resumed working yet again. They really were quite a distraction. It was nice having my back to them though because I wouldn't have to stare at their annoying faces.

"Well," It was Ryou again, and I could hear something that sounded like a zipper, "I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm going to work on my homework while we chat. I would like to get this done as soon as possible!" Oh. . . so I wouldn't get to help Katsuya with his homework tonight. . .

"That's a good idea!" Yuugi agreed. "I'll go get us some snacks and drinks! I know all of you like soda, but what do you want to drink, Kaiba?"

I figured that they probably wouldn't have any wine. . . not any that cost more than ten dollars, anyways. "Water will be fine." I glanced over Yuugi for a short moment before returning to the more important task at hand. It was kind of nice that he offered me something to drink when it was clear that he didn't appreciate my presence.

The remainder of the evening consisted of them munching, rather noisily, on pretzels and chips and whatnot while they did their homework and sipped soda. There were a few occasions where none of those idiots could figure out the answer to a problem. It was math, of course. I ended up getting down on the floor and crawling over to sit with them and show them how to solve the equation or whatever it happened to be.

By the time Jounouchi and I left, it was already after dark. I hated walking around in the dark, it just wasn't safe these days. As we walked toward his apartment, I could feel eyes burning into me, and as I peered out of the corner of my eye I could see Jounouchi blatantly staring at me.

"I told you about staring at me, Jounouchi."

"I told you about calling me by my last name, Seto."

I let myself laugh a little bit, closing my eyes to try and force the laughter away just as quickly as it had come. I opened my eyes to what I thought was an illusion. . . I closed them and opened them. . . then repeated the process again. Still there. He was still there. No, it wasn't him. . . someone that looked like him. Black hair. . . what color were those eyes? Gray? Surely not. . . that smile. . . his smile. . . Saki. Again, I felt myself unable to move, and breathing was becoming more and more difficult.

"Saki. . ." Did I say that? No, it was someone else. Whoever was with me. . . oh yes, Katsuya. Katsuya was with me. His voice sounded so powerful, "What the fuck do you want?! Why do you keep following us?!" He started to approach and I found myself struggling for air. I wanted to back away, but I couldn't feel my legs. . . Jounouchi stepped in front of me, and suddenly I could breathe again.

Saki stopped his advance, blowing his hair out of those menacing gray eyes that I used to adore, "You know exactly what I want. . . or perhaps I should say '**who'** I want." He stopped grinning, "You need to back the fuck off of Seto, boy. You're below him, you could never give him what he wants."

Below me? No, there wasn't a soul on this earth below my own. . . even Saki was better than me. As for what I want, I want only someone that love me for who I am, not what I have or how I look. I want someone that will be strong for me, so I no longer have to live in the lie that I've created. As far as I'm concerned, Jounouchi Katsuya is perfectly capable of all of the above.

"Oh?!" Jounouchi yelled, "And what, do tell, does he want?"

"He wants **me**, of course." No! I don't want him! Well. . . I do, but. . . I don't want the person he has become. The monster he's become.

"The **hell** he does! He wants nothing to do with you!" Saki began to move toward us again, but Katsuya stood his ground. He was so brave, so strong right now. For me. . . he was standing up for me. . . why?

"Is that what you think? Then tell me, boy, why is it that whenever I'm around, he becomes hypnotized by my presence? Why is it that he stares at me, watches me. . . he wants me, boy." So close. Saki had come so close. He was taller than I remembered. He seemed like a giant now. Saki looked down at Jounouchi, those gray eyes silently threatening him.

"Because he's afraid of you! You'd better back the fuck off, you son-of-a-bitch, or I'm gonna-"

"You're gonna what?" Saki sneered, grabbing Katsuya by the arms and shoving him aside. My protector fell to the asphalt with a painful sound. . . now there was nothing between Saki and I. Could I run? Could I hide? No. . . my body still refused to respond.

"Jou. . . nou. . . chi. . ." Even speaking was difficult. I barely managed to turn my head upward enough to lock eyes with Saki. He wouldn't hurt me again, would he? His hand rested on my cheek and his skin was just as soft as I remembered. . . so gentle. He tilted my head to the side and nuzzled my neck, nipping a bit at the skin. My heartbeat quickened and I shuttered slightly to his touch. I wanted to collapse. I could feel my eyes burning with tears that wanted to fall. . . why wasn't Jounouchi stopping him?

"You still love me, don't you Seto? I didn't mean to hurt you, Seto. . . do you remember that, koi? Do you remember when I raped you?" He began to suck at my neck. I could only close my eyes and do nothing. . . do I remember? I relive the event nearly every night. . . every god-forsaken night. "You wouldn't let me fuck you, not ever. . . you always said you didn't like sex. . . you left me no choice." He lapped up the tears that had begun streaking down my cheeks, "You're pretty when you cry, Seto. . . so, so pretty. . ." I gasped in rigidly when I felt his free hand grab my crotch. No, not again!

"_Saki, I told you, I'm really not ready for something like this. . . I really don't like Sex." He continued to advance, pressing me roughly against the wall. "Saki?" Still he didn't acknowledge me. As a full-grown adult, he was much more powerful than me. Using his body as a weight, he held one hand over my crotch, his fingers moving expertly against my pants. "Stop it, Saki! I said no!" His mouth latched onto my own. . . _

Saki fell to the sidewalk and Katsuya stood in his place, fist unclenching after making abrupt contact with the grown man's face. "The name's Jounouchi, you sick fuck! Don't you **ever** fuck with Seto like this again!" He grabbed my hand, but I still couldn't move. Warm tears kept parading down my cheeks. . . and that is all I could think to do. Even at that time those few years ago, all that I could manage to do was cry.

But Katsuya wouldn't abandon me. I felt myself lifted and was then slung over his shoulder like some sort of luggage. He bolted away after picking up our bags.

- - -

By the time we had reached the apartment complex he had stopped running. He had amazing endurance, and I'm sure that carrying me the whole way wasn't an easy task. He started the journey up the stairs.

"You can put me down now. . ." I felt like a burden.

"Nope, not until we get inside."

Though I couldn't see anything (my face was practically right up against Jounouchi's back), I could hear a door open. "Is that you, Katsuya?" Oh shit. . . it was that dirty-minded old woman. "Oooh! I see! You and your boy are going to play tonight! How wonderful! You'll have to tell me all about it!" The door clicked shut.

"She's fucking insane." I mumbled to Jounouchi's back.

"It feels good when you talk against my back." I punched his shoulder blade, but was happy that he had such a playful attitude all the time. . . it really eased my tension.

Jounouchi managed to unlock and open his apartment door one-handed and finally dropped me off onto his couch, setting our bags down next to the couch. He went back to lock the door, "Why didn't you move?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Jounouchi, let it go."

"You need to talk about it! Forgetting about it isn't going to make it-"

"**I said let it go**!" I glared, my whole face twisting into an angry expression.

"I helped you!" He reminded me. He must have thought that I was angry at him.

"Please, please let it go. . . I'll do anything if you just let it go. . ." I covered my face with my hands. Today had been a terrible day. Wasn't my begging enough? I said 'please'. . .

"Anything?" I looked up at him to catch a mischievous grin that had come across his lips. I regretted saying that. "I want a hug." Okay, I don't think that anyone saw that coming, certainly not me. Perhaps money or a favor. . . but a hug?

"A hug?"

"Yes." He got down on his knees so that he was at my level, and then crawled over. I opened my legs so that he could get close enough, and once his stomach was against the bottom cushion, I wrapped my arms uneasily around him and he did the same to me. I couldn't help but squeeze him tightly. I hadn't really been hugged by anyone but Mokuba and Saki. . . I think that my original parents used to hug me, but I couldn't remember those days. He was so warm and I was a bit sad when we finally pulled away from each other. "What wasn't so bad, was it?" He asked, still in the same spot.

I blushed a little and tried not to look at him. "Whatever." I glanced down at his hands, which he had laid on my thighs. I really didn't like them there, "Do you mind?"

"Not one bit." He smiled at his own humor and hugged me once more. I made little noises to act like I didn't want it, but. . . I really did want it with all of my heart.

He finally stood up, heading for the kitchen. I figured that he was about to make dinner for us. My night wasn't so bad after all.

"Katsuya. . ."

"Yeah?" He glanced back at me over his shoulder.

"Thanks. . ." I graced him with one of my rare smiles.

"No need to thank me. That smile is worth it. . . you know," He faced away from me, "Saki was right when he said you were pretty when you cry, but. . . you're **beautiful** when you smile." With that, he retreated into the kitchen.

I stood from the couch. Worth it for my smile? Beautiful when I smile? For my smile. . . he wanted me to smile. He didn't protect me because he thought it would lead to sex or money or favors. . . he saved me because he wanted me to be happy. . .

I found him pulling a glass dish from the cabinet above the sink. I snuck up behind him, snaking my arms around his waist. He jumped a bit, looking over his shoulder.

"Seto?"

"What you said. . . really nice. . . so . . . I'm giving you a hug. . . to thank you. . ." I backed off, taking a seat at the kitchen table. He probably thought that I was weird. "What's for dinner?" I asked, changing the topic of the conversation.

"Pork tenderloin marinated in a special seasoning and baked in the oven." He popped the dish into the oven and set the timer, glancing at the clock, "We probably won't be eating until about 10:30. . . sorry."

"It's not a problem. I usually don't eat dinner." I sighed, not willing to think about how things usually are, "You're a good cook, Katsuya." I couldn't help but chuckle a bit as he sat down across from me, "I don't cook a whole lot, so I'm not that great at it. . . but I guess you cook for yourself a lot, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do, heh. I like cooking though."

"You wouldn't happen to have any alcohol in here, would you?" I slapped my forehead and then looked shamefully down at the table. His father was an awful alcoholic, of course they had alcohol, "Forget I asked. . . I just have a craving for some Chardonnay." And I did. . . I had an enormous craving, in fact.

"You aren't old enough to drink." He informed me, as though I didn't know.

"I usually have my employees buy it for me."

"You shouldn't drink."

"I know. . . but I do. I'm not an alcoholic, I just like it sometimes. Cleans out the system, you know?"

"I'll never drink." He put his head down on the table and my hand instinctively began running through his messy blond hair. "Drunks disgust me." He muttered.

"Drunks disgust me too, but I don't get drunk. When you come over to my place, I'll give you some of the finest wine in the world. You won't know what to do with yourself!" I tried to sound wild and carefree like he always did, in hopes that it would cheer him up. Our eyes met.

"Seto?"

"I'm still going to have to get used to you calling me that. . . yes?"

"Do you consider me your friend?" He sat back up in his chair and I bit my bottom lip. A friend? I haven't had friends in a very long time. . . what could I say to him?

"You're someone who I am living with for two weeks. . . someone who I **don't mind** living with for two weeks." The table was suddenly very interesting. . . at least until my blush subsided. I wasn't used to saying such nice things.

We sat around for a bit, chatting idly about the goings-on at Yuugi's house and even spoke about certain movies. . . I lectured him about how he should read more. This went on for awhile until the buzzer on the oven went off. He served it up for me, acting like a housewife would, and I complimented him on how good the food was. . . a treat for my puppy, heh.

"Well, that was good. . . shall we head to bed now?" He winked at me and I turned away.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so. . ." I eyed him suspiciously, searching for some ulterior motive. "Don't get your hopes up, I'm still going to change in the bathroom."

"Aww! You're no fun!" He joked, smiling that large, warm smile at me before retreating down the hallway toward his bedroom. . .

. . . and this time, it was **I** who followed at **his** heels.

* * *

Hooray! I finished it in one day! There was no beta this time! (Oh snap) I apologize for any and all mistakes! I hope you liked it! Don't forget to re-read the original chapter! Take care! Until next time. . . how soon will that be? 


	14. Day Four: Unpredictable

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

Hello hello! Yet another 'brilliant' chapter from my really fucked up imagination! Actually, this one was obviously already written, but do you remember the original version of this chapter? If not, **read the original first**! You should always read the original before this one, at least until I catch them up with each other, then you can read them in whatever order you want! Hooray for choices! Enjoy, my darlings!

**Important Note:** In this chapter, Seto is going to have random flashbacks all over the place. They're going to be in italics. Sometimes you will see Seto's replies in regular font while the person he's talking to is in italics. That means that he is talking to a flashback. He is seeing the flashback, but speaking out loud to where Jounouchi can hear. . . thus resulting in the dialogue of the original chapter.

**Beta:** Oh shit, son, edited by yours truly.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yuugiou. Saki would be a main character if I did. . . a main **villain,** that is.

* * *

I was having such a peaceful sleep that night, dreaming about things that I can't recall anymore and couldn't even recall the moment that I woke up. All I know is that I was sleeping soundly without the usual nightmares and restless slumber. . . I say **was** because I happened to be jolted awake in the early hours of the morning. The sun hadn't even come up over the horizon to kiss the room with its fresh rays of light. The clock read five thirty.

Of course, the clock wasn't the first thing that I thought to check. I had woken to cold fingers against my bare back. Why his hands were up my shirt, I almost didn't want to know. I nearly rolled from the bed while instinctively moving away from his touch. His hands were so cold! As I moved away, he just came closer and eventually there wasn't any more room to move to. . . so I kind of just let him grope my back. I mean, it's not like he was hurting anything, and eventually his hands warmed up. . . under my shirt. . . against my back.

So anyways, I let him do that, but then I felt something on my ass. Yeah, that's right, my ass. He literally had wrapped one leg over my thigh and had his crotch right up against my ass, one of his hands reaching around to rub at my stomach. It was way past the time for me to draw my line. I shoved him roughly away, sliding from the mattress with an embarrassing lack of grace. . . and yet he just grunted and rolled over to face the window, not waking even slightly.

Well, there wouldn't be anymore sleeping for me, so I decided to just try my hand at making breakfast. I usually had cooks to do that kind of thing for me. . . but cooking wasn't something that really took a whole lot of skill. Not to fix something simple, anyways. I glanced back at Jounouchi one more time before leaving for the kitchen, only to find his face twisted with. . . disgust? Sadness? It was difficult to tell in the darkened room and from such a distance. He started to whimper a bit, and so I left. I knew how nightmares went, and he was certainly having a nightmare. . . a nightmare that began with porn? How strange.

- - -

I managed to find pancake mix and some fresh coffee grounds (all purchased thanks to me) without tearing apart the pantry and cabinets, most of which were either empty or filled with things that didn't much resemble food anymore. . . and don't get me started on that fridge. His entire environment was just disgusting. When we got to my house, I'd have to treat him to nice things, to the way that life **should** be.

No sooner were the pancakes out on the table and my coffee poured fresh into a big mug than I heard that terrible screeching of Katsuya's er. . . Jounouchi's alarm clock. How could I bring up what he did without sounding absolutely bothered by it?

He stumbled into the kitchen, his bare feet sounding awkward against the bad flooring. His eyes were half lidded, one a little more open than the other. The blond was clearly still in a sleep-like state. "You're up early." He grumbled, sitting down and pouring a cup of orange juice from the carton I had the foresight to set out. He began to chug it like his life depended on it. . . what a glutton.

"Well, generally I can't get any rest when someone is fondling me in their sleep." Perhaps that was a bit strong?

Out of nowhere, he started spewing orange juice all over the floor. I couldn't help but stare.

"What the hell?" He asked, gawking at me as though I was the one that had created the puddle.

"You're the one that made the mess." I sat down across from him, making sure he knew that I had no intention of ever cleaning it up.

"I'm not talking about the mess, I'm talking about what you said!"

"Oh. . . that was also your fault though." I sipped at my hot, caffeinated heaven-in-a-cup.

"It wasn't my fault, it was your-" He froze. "I was just having a strange dream." Was he about to blame me for his perverted dreams? . . . wait.

"An erotic dream, you mean." I joked. . . or hopefully I was only joking. I took another swig of coffee. Perhaps I was still half-asleep.

"Yeah, but strange too." Okay, he was admitting to having sexually-related dreams. Way to nearly ruin my appetite. Time to end the conversation before it goes any further.

I reluctantly sat down my steaming cup of life and picked up a fork, "Just shut up and eat, mutt. It isn't every day that I cook, you know."

"Yes ma'am!" He did a mock salute, "You'll make a wonderful housewife some day."

Ma'am? Housewife? That son of a fucking. . . "Unless you want a fresh cup of coffee on your face, I'd suggest you shut your trap, you filthy mutt." I held up the mug, swirling the hot liquid around in a threatening manner. I wouldn't really dump it on him, though. I loved coffee way too much to waste it on pathetic revenge.

He devoured my pancakes, seeming to enjoy the breakfast I had slaved over. . . okay, I poured the mix into a frying pan and that was about it, but still. . . and he didn't even make a disgusted face or anything. Too bad we had to finish quickly in order to get to school on time today. I couldn't make a habit of being late. I surprised myself by walking to school yet again. I was amazed that we actually arrived on time.

"How are your projects coming along?" Ms. Asuka was asking stupid questions, as usual.

"The same as they were yesterday." Someone answered. I wanted to laugh, then decided against it.

The dumb woman didn't seem to know how to reply to that, and changed the subject, "Well then, let us look at more sample papers and then discuss the steps to writing an effective introduction." Her eyes fell on me, but I was too tired to glare, "I hope that there won't be any note consumption today."

Oh yeah, you're a real comedian, bitch. I made the effort to narrow my eyes and then lay my head down on my desk. Why was I so tired? Oh yeah. . . Jounouchi was feeling me up in his sleep, at least I **hope** he was sleeping. It was very awkward, but. . . heh, what on Earth was I about to say? That I liked it? Absolutely not! Why in the hell would I like being groped by that mutt? He had a really firm grip though. . .

"Jounouchi! Pay attention!" Snapped the woman that was supposed to be teaching us something. Sometimes she seemed more like a barking chihuahua than the blond. I lifted my head just enough to take a peek at him before resuming my semi-rest. He had probably been staring at me again.

"_Anything? I want a hug."_

A hug. Last night he had asked for a hug. Any pervert would have asked for something different, but. . . Katsuya just wanted a hug. He could be so. . . so cute sometimes, I guess.I could feel myself slipping off into sleep.

"Kaiba Seto!" Fucking hell. "Even though your work and grades are immaculate, sleeping during class will not be tolerated!" Was that cunt yelling at me? Did I just say cunt? Yeah, I think I did. She really earned the title. Couldn't she just leave me alone?

I lifted my head from the desk the moment she shut up. "Had this occurred when I wasn't so tired, I might have justflirted my way out of the situation like I do on most days." I glared as best as I could, "But today I'd like to get some fucking sleep and you have to be a fucking bitch about it." Okay, so that was a bit much, but the words just kind of came out all on their own. It's not like I'd get into any trouble from it.

"Watch your mouth, young man!" She sounded so furious it was funny. Did she think that I would get intimidated? Her voice was shaking with the fear she tried to hide. I wasn't afraid of her at all, but I clearly frightened her. I deepened my glare.

"Look, old hag, unless you want to lose your job-"

"Kaiba Seto!"

"Do you want to test me, Asuka Ayumi?" I clenched my teeth to contain my newborn anger. I stood, slamming my palms flat on my desk.

She shut her mouth, and I knew that I had won. Silence drifted over the room, no one daring to say a word or even cough.Satisfied, I slid back down in my seat, finally able to catch some much-needed slumber.

_- - -_

Yuugi was the one to wake me when the bell rang. I was actually quick to pack up my things and head out the door today. I stood by to wait for Jounouchi, who wasn't even packing up yet. What was he waiting for? Did he get in trouble and have to stay after class? I must have missed something while sleeping.

I left after a short while, deciding that it would be a waste to wait for him. I needed to go to my locker now if I wanted to get to my second class on time. Actually, I didn't want to go to my second class at all. . . or any of them, for that matter. School meant nothing to me. I only continued going so that I wouldn't be a CEO without a high school diploma. That wouldn't look very good to prospective customers.

Today, though, I just wasn't in the mood for any more shit from my teachers. There was work probably piling up on my desk back at the office, emails to be answered, phone calls to be made. . . this project was causing me to fall far behind in one of the few things that actually mattered to me. Things that mattered to me. . . Mokuba, work, and Katsu- woah! He didn't matter to me. . . I didn't love him. My chest began to ache, so I stopped thinking about it and called my driver.

"Pick me up and take me to the office. I'll be waiting in front of Domino High." I shoved my cell phone into the hidden pocket of my uniform jacket and waited.

- - -

I was right earlier when I imagined the terrors that awaited me. There was a large stack of documents to be completed just sitting there on my desk, trying to stare me down. I sighed, really not in the mood to do work either. I felt like there was something that I ought to be doing, something that I ought to be going over in my mind. Have you ever gone to a store and then had this feeling that you forgot to buy something, but can't remember for the life of you what it was? It was like that feeling, but I wasn't shopping. What could there possibly be for me to do that would be so urgent? No, there really wasn't anything.

I settled down at my desk, turning the power on to my computer and pulling the mountain of paper toward me, retrieving a fresh ink pen from my drawer.

I sat in that same spot for hours, reading, signing, and dating form after form after form and answering email after email. Isn't there someone that I could hire to do some of this shit? I had more important things to take care of. . . no, I had already gone over that. There was nothing. There was nothing important to do other than my job. My job was important and Mokuba was important. I did my job for Mokuba, and so all I needed to do was work.

Employees trailed in and out, asking me stupid questions and suggesting ridiculous things that I lied and told them I'd think about. I mean seriously, do they really need a health bar vending machine on every floor? No matter what they ate they'd just get fat. Sitting on your ass all day in front of a computer isn't going to help anyone lose weight. If they were so worried about their damn appearance, they could just find a job at a fucking gym. . . fat-asses. Not that I could talk. . . oh wait, yes I could.

The phone on my desk began to ring loudly, the little orange light blinking annoyingly. I pressed the button for speaker phone.

"What." A statement, not a question, but that bimbo of a secretary wouldn't notice something like that.

"Someone is here to see you, sir."

Jounouchi? Why was my heart pounding? Of course it wasn't Jounouchi. It was probably some bimbo. I didn't want a woman. I just wasn't into women. "If it's a woman, tell her to go fuck herself."

"It's not a woman; it's a cute blond boy!"

So it **was** Jounouchi. . . what in the hell was he doing here? I grinned mischievously, "If his name is Jounouchi Katsuya, tell him to go fuck himself."

There was a moment of silence and then, "No sir, that isn't his name."

Bullshit, it was definitely Jounouchi. "Then send him up to my office." I hung it up. So he wanted to see me that badly, eh? School hadn't let out that long ago. Was this the first place he looked for me? He was good.

I clicked a few icons on my desktop, finally coming to the security cameras, zooming in on one scene in particular. It took a few minutes, but Jounouchi eventually came to stand just outside the doors to my office. He looked confused and out of place, just as he always did. Did the camera lock up? He wasn't moving. His hands were on the door handles, and yet he just stood there. I peeked around my computer to see if he had entered, but there was no one there.

Slipping from my high-back leather chair, I went to the double-doors, pushing one of them open slightly, "Are you going to just stand there like a dumbass or are you going to come in?" I looked out at him. "I have cameras. I knew it was you all along."

"You did? Then why did you tell that woman to turn me away?" He stepped inside and I shut the ridiculously large door behind him.

"I wanted to fuck with you." I smirked at him, and he. . . blushed? Why the hell was he blushing? I thought back to what I said and wanted to cover my face with my hands. He really was a pervert.

"Fair enough." He replied, looking all around my office. He seemed like a little kid at a toy store, his head bending in directions that couldn't have been natural and his jaw hanging open as he stared wide-eyed at my furnishings. "Why did you ask if it was a woman?" He continued.

I had gone back to my computer, answering an email that had just entered my inbox, "I wonder." I answered, without really answering his question at all. So he didn't understand that I didn't want women, I wanted. . . what the fuck was I saying? That I want Jounouchi? . . . do I?

After a long while of quiet, the blond started up again, "Hey, Seto-"

"You'll call me Kaiba here, you got that?" The last thing I needed was for an employee to hear him calling me by my first name.

"Ja, Hitler."

I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, Kaiba," He began again, starting to get on my nerves, "One of your windows is missing some tint."

My fingers stopped moving all on their own. A window without tint? Why would. . . oh yeah. I glanced up at him, "Oh, it's newer than the others and I've yet to get it tinted." I smirked at him, though I really didn't mean to. The thought of that window. It was broken just a couple years ago. . . broken by a body. A large, disgusting body.

"_I've come for my daily training, father."_

"_What did I tell you to call me when we were alone?"_

"_I'm sorry, master."_

"_Very good, Seto. You're early today."_

"_I just couldn't wait to get started on training today."_

"_I thought that you wouldn't show up. Mr. Kitamori told me that you had run off with his son, Saki, last night and stayed out through this morning."_

"_Saki. . ."_

"_Oh? Did something happen? How awful. First you kill your best friend and now-"_

"_I didn't kill him!"_

"_Is that right? I recall** you** holding the gun."_

"_You made me kill him!"_

"_Did I?"_

_The view behind him was so beautiful, so promising. . . and yet such a view could be so bloody. _"It's a wonderful view; why don't you come have a closer look?" _He hesitantly stepped toward the window, his blond hair. . . _

Blond hair? Jounouchi.

"Kaiba, is this the window that-"

"Shut up!" I shoved him against the glass. Stupid questions, such stupid questions. He was going to call me a murderer. I didn't kill him! I didn't kill my best friend! He made me kill him! I'm not a murderer. Shut up you stupid kid! "I'm not a murderer!"

"I never said that!"

"But you were going to!" A murderer. I'm not a murderer! That blood, that's not his blood. That blood on the floor, that puddle, that pool of crimson blood. . . the tile, all over the tile. Where is this? All of this blood. . .

"You told me what you did! Why are you so pissed off at me?!" Jounouchi struggled against me.

Jounouchi? Why was I pressing Jounouchi against the window? Did he piss me off? But I wasn't in my office just a second ago. . . I was. . . no, I was definitely in my office the entire time.

"Do you want me to die? I thought we were friends. Why can't we be friends? Does the Kaiba name make you too good for friends?"

I could feel my strength fading. Of course I didn't want him to die. What was he talking about?

"What happened to the Seto who laughed and smiled and had so many friends? What happened to Yagami Seto?"

I jumped back. . . Yagami Seto? Yagami. Yagami. My name.

"_What happened to the Seto who laughed and smiled and had so many friends?"_

"Satoshi."

"_What happened to Yagami Seto?"_

"Satoshi!"

_He fell to the floor within seconds of the firing of the gun. . . the gun in my hands. I pulled that trigger. It was my fault. Why? Why did I have to do this? That man. . . because of that man. I ran to his side, the blood quickly pooling on the tile. His beautiful hair fell into the blood, dying the tips red. His big brown eyes were still open, still watching. . . still blaming me for his untimely death. _"I'm so sorry! So, so sorry! I didn't want this! This was the only way! I had to!" _I pulled his body against me. He was so small, but he had been so strong. My best friend. . . the one person I could confide in. A child my age. Only a teenager and already dead. Dead in my arms. . . because of me. Because of some stupid slut. _"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

_He fell from my arms, and I could hear the splatter of the blood. My hands. . . they were so red, so stained by the life of the one I had killed. He died. . . he died because he was friends with me. I could never let that happen again. He didn't have to die. If he hadn't known me. . . he would be alive, and he would be smiling._

_A body pressed against my own and I quickly pulled his head to my chest, my chin atop his head. I did my best to stop the tears that had been falling. _"Mokuba. . . Mokuba, I did a very bad thing; he made me do a very bad thing."

"_You aren't a bad person, big brother."_

"Don't ever be like me, Mokuba."

_It was dark. . . very dark. Was this death, or. . ._

- - -

I awoke. . . awoke? . . . to something unexpected. A pretty face with big brown eyes and wild blond hair stared down at me, a surprised expression across its features. "K-Katsuya. . . er, Jounouchi!" His hands had been on my face, and I was in his arms. . . on the floor. . . why?

He pulled his arms away, "Good evening, Seto." There was that smile. He smiled a lot.

"Why am I on the floor?"

"You were having a nightmare and so I tried to wake you and knocked you out of your chair by accident."

A nightmare? Here? I never went to sleep. Last I remember, Jou was in my office and I was in my seat, and he asked me about. . . "Ugh, you're a dumbass."

"Yeah, well, can't change who I am." He rubbed at the back of his head and grinned like an idiot. . . an idiot that was lying.

"No; I mean, you're a dumbass for actually thinking I'd believe that." I stood up, glaring at him, and looked out the window that had begun this mess.

"What?"

What had made me angry enough to push my adoptive father out the window? Saki's betrayal had been the icing on the cake, but there had been something before that. I remember now. Satoshi's death.

"Satoshi. . ." I turned back to see Jounouchi staring at me. They both looked so similar. Both had innocent brown eyes and unkempt blond hair. But Jounouchi was. . . he was better looking. His skin was a little darker and he seemed more rugged. I kind of. . . I liked that. Even so, I could see Satoshi within him.

It was time to change the subject, "I left school during the day. I haven't done that in a long time."

"I figured it out by fourth block. It was dull sitting with Yuugi and the others at lunch today."

"Dull? They're your friends, Jounouchi." I sat down in one of my couches and he sat right next to me. I leaned a bit to get comfortable, but what I really wanted was to. . . to lean against him. Was I wrong for wanting that?

"Yeah, they're my friends, but I pretty much know all there is to know about them. I know their secrets and hobbies and dreams. . . and they're so predictable because their personalities are easy to label. But you, you are extremely unpredictable. I can't tell when you're going to cry, laugh, or bitch me out. You sound the same when you're serious and when you're joking. Sometimes I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around you, and other times I talk more loosely with you than I would with Honda." He laughed a bit and I couldn't help but blush. Was he complimenting me? He could talk with me easier than he could with his closest friend? "All in all," He draped an arm around my shoulders, "you keep things interesting. Each day is something new; I like that."

I didn't know what to say to all of that. It just poured from his mouth like he had been rehearsing the entire speech in preparation for this exact moment when he could say it to me. I was. . . flattered, to say the least. I felt. . . I felt, well, special. I looked down at his hand, which had somehow come to rest against my chest.

"You. . . like that, hm?" I asked, referring to what he had said. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.

"I do." He answered, moving his hand to rub at my right shoulder. It felt nice. "Do I make you nervous?" He asked.

"Nervous?" I opened my eyes to gaze over him, "No, I can't say that you make me nervous."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I told you a couple days ago; you confuse me."

"How do I confuse you?"

"Like you said about me, you are also very unpredictable. I can never tell what your intentions are. Sometimes I can't even tell if you're being honest or not." I sighed, "There are times where I think you'll do. . . or **try** to do. . . what Saki did, and there are times. . ." I reached up, laying my right hand atop the hand he had left on my shoulder, "Where you are very kind and. . . you remind me of someone else I once knew." Satoshi. . . I laughed a pitiful laugh, "Listen to me; I sound like some teenage sap. How angsty."

"No comment." He blurted out quickly, laughing in that cute manner of his. Cute?

I hit him on the head with my left hand and couldn't help but laugh at the awkward face that he made upon impact.

The door flew open and in came some flustered looking fellow with his hair all in a mess and his suit not so straight, "Mr Kaiba!" He yelled, but stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of my couch.Oh no, not him again.

"What is it, Mr. Hakkai?" I tried to pretend like it was business as usual, though it clearly wasn't. Neither Katsuya nor I moved from where we had been.

"Well, sir, a fellow employee said that she heard yelling coming from here and I came up to check on you."

"To check on me? Am I a child that needs to be checked on?"

"No, sir, but just two years ago-"

"Just two years ago the former CEO was pushed out the window. Do you want to be next?"

"S-sir!"

"How are product sales?"

"Th-they're well, just as always Mr. Kaiba."

"Is there anything that can be done to maximize profits?"

"We are researching that right now, sir."

"That's funny, you don't **look** like you're doing any researching."

"R-right. I'll just be on my way then." He turned to leave, but soon spun back around, "By the way. . . Mr. Kaiba, is this young man your boyfrie-"

"Get the fuck out of my office."

"Y-yes Mr. Kaiba!" And with that, the man fled the room just as fast as he had rushed in.

Katsuya laughed, "He thought we were boyfriends!" He found that idea funny? Was it really so funny? What was this feeling that I had? My chest was hurting again.

"Yeah. . ." I arched a brow, playing along, "What a freak."

"You wouldn't ever go out with someone like me. . . would you." He wasn't asking, but the look on his face was so nervous and so sad.

"Would I?" Was all that I could think to say. Did he want to be my boyfriend? Is that what he was getting at? Someone. . . someone like him liked me? I slipped away from the couch and went to my computer, shutting it off, "Come on; we're gonna go get absolutely drunk. . . then we're gonna go back to your place. . . and we're gonna go into your room. . . and we'll close the door, and then together. . . we will **so** not do our homework!" I grinned at the look that came over Katsuya's face. He really did always have his mind in the gutter.

"Uh, that doesn't exactly sound fun at the end. . . and I can't exactly get into a bar."

"Haven't we had this conversation before? I can get into any bar I so please to enter, and I can drag along whoever I want. As long as you're with me, you can do anything." I flashed him a smile, "As for afterward. . . I doubt I'll be coherent enough to give a fuck what happens. In fact, you might have to carry me home." I laughed for the millionth time that day. A smile crept to his lips and the sun that came through the windows behind me bounced from his eyes, making them sparkle brilliantly.

That's when it hit me. I figured out the important thing that I had to do. Up until now, I had felt it, but now I finally realized just what exactly it was. I had to express this feeling that I had. This feeling inside of my chest that was nearly unbearable. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was. . . was. . .

. . . like I was falling in love.

* * *

Hooray for updates! This chapter was absolutely confusing to write because of the intermingling of flashbacks and reality. Hope that you all didn't get too confused. Try reading it a second time if it was weird the first time through. It made sense when I read it, but not when I wrote, it, haha. . . then again, the mind doesn't always make sense.

**NEW:** I have created a forum for you all to post on and talk to each other on! Isn't that fun? The link is towards the top of my profile. I sent emails to a lot of you, but I don't think that most people got it. Please go check it out and register so that everyone can talk together! It's going to be so much fun! Until next time, I'll see ya around!


	15. Day Four: Heaven on Earth

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

I'm getting closer to catching this story up to the other one! Hooray! I figure by chapter 22 they should be coming out together. Yeah. . . we'll see, haha!. Anyways, here it is, chapter fifteen! Don't forget to leave me some love here and on the forum!

**Disclaimer:** Yuugiou belongs to Kazuki Takahashi. (Did I even spell that right?)

* * *

**Recap:**

_For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was. . . was. . ._

_. . . like I was falling in love._

- - -

I made contact with my favorite driver, Saehara, and ordered him to pick Katsuya and I up. He brought the Mercedes, the perfect vehicle for traveling with both style and class. . . I guess. Why was my heart beating so quickly? I felt so. . . excited for some reason. I didn't understand, but why understand something that doesn't need to be understood? Great, now I'm confusing myself. . .

We were chauffeured to the lively side of town. It was already six by that time and so darkness was quickly approaching. Neon signs were illuminated on either side of the street. It felt good to finally get out and do something. . . and have someone to do things with. Now, by things I don't mean _'things'_, I really do mean just things.

As we approached the hottest club in town, I glanced down at myself to make sure that I looked alright, only to find myself staring at something awful. All of this and we were still in our school uniforms! That would look really good. I could see it now, _"Uh, yes sir, we're over 21, we're just wearing high school uniforms because, uh. . . we find them sexy. . . yeah, that's it, they're sexy!" _Something told me that wouldn't go over too well.

"Ah shit. . ." I muttered, upon noticing, "Saehara, drive us to Jounouchi's apartment." I had to watch myself to make sure that 'Jounouchi' left my lips instead of 'Katsuya'. Left my lips? If that didn't sound dirty. . .

"I thought we were going out to drink." Oh, I probably should have explained myself to the blond before giving such a sudden order to my driver.

I turned to my right, where he sat, "We are, but there is nothing cool about a high school uniform." I made a face at him and then leaned against the window, my hair falling into my eyes.

The setting sun was beautiful, it's brilliant golden glow bending down to kiss the skyline. Sometimes I would sit on my bedroom balcony back at my house and just watch it for a long while. The most peaceful times of day, in my opinion, were sunrise and sunset. Everything else seemed like it could wait while I watched those two magnificent events. Who could think of anything awful about either? The sun was actually quite. . . romantic, if I dare say so.

I snuck a peak at Katsuya out of the corner of my eye. Was he staring at me again? He did that so much. Did he have a crush on me or something? Maybe. . . no, I was just getting my hopes up. Hopes? I wanted him to have a crush on me? Yeah, I suppose I did. . . I do. . .

The ride to his apartment was a short one, which I was very thankful for since I found it difficult to keep my eyes open during the entirety of the trip. It took him longer than usual to open the door. He fumbled like a pathetic boy going on his first date. Date? Why on Earth did such things keep popping into my head? Now that I thought about it, I had a really funny feeling in my stomach. . .

We went back to his room to pick out what we would wear. I hadn't really packed anything for the occasion, but Jou said that I looked good in anything. . . not that his opinion mattered. Well, maybe it did. . . just a little. It was always good to have an opinion, right? Right.

While Jounouchi fished through his various drawers for what would hopefully be a decent outfit, I unzipped one of my suitcases. I pulled out a navy dress shirt. There wasn't any need to impress anyone, but I still wanted to look good. I, Kaiba Seto, never looked unkempt. . . that would just be too weird. So yes, a navy long-sleeved dress shirt and the usual leather pants. I like leather, sue me. . . or **try** to sue me. We all know that I would win by a large margin.

I sat the outfit on top of my suitcase. . . and froze. Should I take my things to the bathroom and change, or. . . I mean, he liked me, didn't he? He wouldn't do anything, would he? I could just change right here in his bedroom and see what he did. Like a test. . . yeah, that's it!

It definitely felt awkward as hell slipping off the school jacket and boring white shirt while sliding out of the ironed blue slacks that completed the uniform. Ah shit, why did I have to wear the black satin boxers? Mokuba got them for me for Christmas one year. Why he would buy me undergarments I'll never understand, but I just had to keep them. . . he's my only family, after all, and I love him more than anything. More than anything.

I could feel my entire body flaming up in one giant blush, but tried my best to fight it. I looked over toward Katsuya to see if his back was still towards me, but. . . much to my embarrassment, he was staring with his jaw slack.

I bent down, pulling my clothes up from my bag as though I might cover myself with them or suddenly rush to the bathroom to finish my changing there. "What?" I asked as though nothing were out of the ordinary, though I was sure that my blush couldn't sting my cheeks anymore than it already was.

"You took your clothes off." He kept staring, in sincere awe at my hideous body. . . why? "And you're. . ." He trailed off, his eyes sweeping over me.

"I'm what?" I folded my arms, trying not to look so nervous or flustered.

"You're absolutely beautiful." He replied without any hesitation, and a red haze was quick to color his cheeks.

I looked to the floor, suddenly unable to face him. Beautiful? "Am I?" I smiled even though I didn't really mean to. Beautiful. . . I had heard that so many times, but the way that he said it. . . it was different this time. When others said that I was 'beautiful' they really meant sexy, something that they wanted to toy with and break into a million fucking pieces. . . until they were satisfied, in which case they threw that 'beautiful' thing away until they wanted to play with it again.

"What?" He asked.

"Do you really think that about me?" I repeated, sitting on his bed still clad in only my underclothes. Was it just me or was he slowly coming closer?

"Yes." Came his simple reply.

"Don't you think I'm sexy, like all of the others?" I frowned, figuring that he probably used 'beautiful' and 'sexy' interchangeably just like everyone else did these days.

"No. Right now you're just beautiful." He had advanced until he stood only a couple feet away from me. Just beautiful. . . Katsuya thought that I was beautiful. . . not sexy, not hot. . . beautiful. I could feel my face burning; I wasn't used to compliments like that. No, maybe it wasn't that. There was definitely something about Katsuya that was different. He gave me this feeling that I just couldn't possibly describe. Was it love? Did I even know what that truly felt like? I had once thought that I loved Saki, but. . . no, that wasn't this feeling. My love towards Saki was more. . . I loved him because he was there for me. . . it was a friendship sort of love that was apparently one-sided. Saki only saw me as everyone else saw me. What was stopping Jounouchi from being the same way? There was only one way to find out.

I reached to the floor, grabbing at the pants of my school uniform and sliding my fingers into one of the pockets. Retrieving my cell phone, I dialed the number for my driver who was likely still waiting for us just outside.

"Yes master Seto?"

"Go on home. We've decided not to go out today." My order was simple and to the point. He didn't need any explanation, he simply obeyed orders. That was pathetic, really. I shut the phone and simply tossed it to the floor like a piece of trash, ready to repeat the same ritual I had learned so many years ago.

Like an innocent virgin, I rested my hands on Jou's bed on either side of me, turning my face and eyes upward to look up at him. Vulnerable, a feeling that I knew all-too-well. I could feel his eyes on my skin. He said I was beautiful, but. . . so many others had said that too. When Katsuya said it, it was different, but still. . . perhaps that is his deceptive charm.

I felt my chest tighten at he leaned in just as I had feared. He reached a hand towards me; what would he do? His right hand ran gently along my left cheek, his thumb skimming across my lips. I closed my eyes, balling the sheets into my hands by accident. He wanted to kiss me. If he were anything like the others, it would be a very hard kiss, nearly hard enough to leave a bruise. He'd probably press me down against the mattress and. . . would he do something so awful?

No, he wasn't like that. I really needed to stop comparing him to someone like Saki or some other pedophile. This was the all-around-nice-guy from school, Jounouchi Katsuya. As a part of Yuugi's group, it wasn't likely that Katsuya would be some sadistic freak. . . right?

I could feel his breath against my lips and knew he was just within inches of my face. . . and yet there was no contact. What was he waiting for? Why wouldn't he kiss me? Was it because. . . it had to be! He was probably contemplating just how many men had kissed my lips. . . how stained they were with the cum of uncountable business associates. . . did it matter that I wasn't a willing participant? I suppose not. . . filth is filth, no matter how it came to be that way.

I opened my eyes after a moment of waiting, "I didn't think you would kiss me. . . after all you have learned about me." I looked down at the floor, finding myself unable to face him, "I wouldn't kiss someone like me either."

My chin was suddenly seized, my face lifted towards the blond as he crushed his lips against my own. So similar to what I had become accustomed to and yet. . . it was a new experience. It wasn't painful, but inviting. Not rough, but passionate. My eyes fell shut all on their own, accepting what was happening.

He shoved me lightly and I felt us both fall back to the bed together, the mattress bouncing under our weight as he continued his exploration of my mouth.

I didn't struggle or fight against him like I probably should have. Instead, I found myself kissing him back in the same manner with which he kissed me. The entire situation seemed impossible. I, Kaiba Seto, was lying in a bed under Jounouchi Katsuya, currently making out with him, and to make things all the more surreal, I was wearing nothing but a pair of satin boxers. . . yeah, satin.

I felt him pull away, but I refused to open my eyes to see. "Katsuya." I could have sworn I heard myself moan, though it didn't even sound like my voice. That word, that name, it came all-too naturally for me to accept. It was strange hearing that name from my own lips. Katsuya. . . Seto and Katsuya, Katsuya and Seto. . . it sounded better the second way.

Again I felt his lips against my own, the softness and gentle touch of them almost turning my attention from the hands I could feel wandering around on my skin, Katsuya's fingers dancing up and down my legs, his palms flattening against my thighs. This feeling, it was so familiar. . . and the longer he went, the more it felt familiar. . . the more I felt like it was _them_ touching me, and not the puppy.

I threw back my head as he attacked my throat with his mouth, teeth nipping hard, but just light enough as to not leave any evidence. He must have been trying to distract me, but I easily noticed that he was prying my legs apart so that he could kneel between them.

"K-K-Katsuya. . ." I muttered. . . no, I practically moaned. It didn't sound like it should have sounded, but when I heard myself practically gasping for air, strange noises escaping my lips in between each breath, I could see that my body was once again fighting my will. His fingers toyed with the insides of each leg, the sensation sending shivers of pleasure coursing through me. I tossed my head from side to side, not really intending to do so. My eyes were open only to slits, for it felt like I didn't even have the strength to open them further.

He finally succeeded in prying my legs apart, pulling away from my neck so that he could gaze down at my from his position between my legs. I put my arms on either side of me, I hadn't realized that they were resting on the pillow on either side of my head, and propped myself up slightly so that I wouldn't be lying on my back while some guy was between my legs. . . it reminded me too much of when. . .

Keeping eye contact, Jou continued running his hands along my legs. It was clear what he wanted. He wanted me, all of me, every inch. . . everything. But what was there left to give? I wasn't a virgin and. . . well, I really didn't want sex. My experiences with it were. . . what if he didn't stop if I told him to? What then? My chest ached with the thought. . . I'd be alone again. . . this is why I didn't want friends.

I lowered myself back down onto the bed. I'd be screwed so many times. . . what did one more matter?

I felt his hands against my abdomen. That was usually where they began, that is, if they didn't make me suck them off first. I suppose that Jounouchi just wanted to screw me as soon as he could. That was all anyone ever thought about. They wanted pleasure so badly. . . and they always forgot, or just plain didn't give a damn, about what I wanted. But Jou wasn't like them. . . Jou had such kind and promising eyes. His embrace had been so powerful and so warm, like a barrier from anything else, and now. . .

The tips of his fingers slid down inside the waistband of my boxers, the one thing separating what I had left from his eyes. I heard myself breathe sharply, but wouldn't allow any further sound. If he wanted it, he could have it. . . it was nothing to give it up anymore, right? I had been conditioned to- . . . I had been conditioned.

He inched them slowly down, prolonging my torture. I could feel a strong burning sensation eating at the backs of my eyes, and I knew that tears were fighting to get out, but I wouldn't let them. No, it wasn't okay for someone to just have their way with me, it would never be okay. . . but it wasn't like I could just stop him. No, that wasn't the case here. Rather than lying helplessly beneath some filthy old man, I was lying beneath the blond that had protected me from Saki. . . Saki. . . Saki had protected me many times too. Were they the same in the end? The one test. . . the one way to find out. . . I could feel his fingers pulling the thin fabric near what I knew he was after. The time was now. If I didn't do it now, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.

My hands flew to catch his own, my fingers wrapping around his in a wild death-grip, "Stop!" My voice was louder than I had heard it in a long time, though I wasn't used to it sounding so pathetic.

"What?" He asked, as though the word were new to him. His hands went nowhere.

"Please stop." I looked away from him, maintaining my grip on his hands to keep him from completing his mission, "I don't want to do this. This isn't what I want." My eyes burned more now and I could feel the tears rimming my eyelids. Why? Why did I want to cry? Or rather, why did my body want to cry?

"_I don't want this. This isn't what I want."_

"_What you want? It's always about what you want! What about what **I** want?"_

"_Please, Saki. . ."_

Saki. . .

"Why didn't you say something earlier?" Jounouchi's angered tone brought me back, his brown eyes dark with frustration, "Did you have to wait until I was really worked up just to tell me that? Are you **trying **to fuck with my head?" He ripped his hands away, giving me time to pull my boxers back up.

"I didn't mean to do it!" My tone was whiney as I threw whatever was left of my dignity away, "I thought I wanted it, but I don't want it." That was true.

In the blink of an eyes I found myself pressed into the bed, my arms pinned roughly above my head, the blond devil grinding his hips against my own. His kiss was bruising as he captured my lips again, this time not welcoming at all. It felt so damn good and I fucking hated it. I hate how people use my own body against me! I kicked at him and fought against his weight, but to no avail. My squirming only heightened the pleasure that I didn't want.

I moaned against my will and wanted to take it back, though that was obviously impossible. It wasn't nearly as bad as the arching of my back from the bed. . . I'd rather have moaned a thousand times over before doing that.

He finally pulled back. So that was it, then? He wasn't going to stop like I asked? So then he wasn't different, but. . .

"Seto. . ." His voice, yet another voice that would haunt me. Katsuya had sounded so much more kind than Saki, than anyone else.

"Why? Why won't you stop?" I felt them, the tears making hot streams of shame down my cheeks. I hated myself for crying, and I hated my tears for wanting to fall.

Without any warning I was released, oxygen rushing into my lungs as the brown-eyed teen slid from the bed. I rubbed at my face to dry it up and try to pretend that those little droplets had never existed.

"It isn't fair when you cry like that." He told me from a few feet away. His eyes were full of. . . pity. I fucking hate pity.

I sat up, "Why isn't it fair?"

"Because you're pretty when you-"

I turned to him, wide-eyed.

"_You're pretty when you cry, Seto. . . so, so pretty. . ."_

Pretty when I cry?

"Seto. I promise- no, I **swear** to you; I will never, under any circumstance, let that bastard hurt you ever again. I won't hurt you. If you want me to stop, I'll stop. I won't let Saki touch you, I won't let anyone from school touch you either, or anyone at the mall or at the grocery store or on the street or at your own company! No one will touch you, no one will kiss you, no one will follow you. . . and absolutely **no one** will rape you." He was panting after his little monologue. . .and I too found myself breathless. To say something like that after he. . . no. He stopped like I had asked, he stopped because he couldn't bear to see me hurting.

I stood from the bed, closing my eyes so that I didn't have to look into those prying brown orbs of his. I took a few steps forward and then took off into a short sprint, right into the arms that awaited me. . . yes, this is how things ought to be.

"You are my sun. you have brightened my life and brought warmth to my heart. . . don't ever leave."

I wanted to smack him, but all I could bring myself to do was laugh, "You know," I pulled away reluctantly, reaching for the outfit that I had originally picked out, "I know that you're trying to be very sweet and romantic and all. . . but you should stick to just being your dumbass self." I grinned, pulling on my pants.

He laughed a bit and then stared as I shimmied into the bottom-half of my outfit. "What?" I asked, wondering why he looked so fascinated.

"Nothing. You're cute." He turned away from me to get his own outfit. Cute?

"It's already seven o'clock in the evening and we have school tomorrow. We could always go out to eat instead and just go clubbing another night."

"You mean one of those stuck-up restaurants?"

"Absolutely." I grinned, looking forward to a nice meal for once in the past few days. I slipped on my shirt.

"Alright, you win for tonight, but tomorrow we're going clubbing." He finished getting dressed and I just about died. He had black jeans, black dress shoes, and a crayola-green dress shirt on. "You alright?" He asked, and I'm positive it was from the abnormal look on my face.

"We're going to go shopping before we go out tomorrow."

"Shopping? For what?"

"Clothes for you." I smirked at him and his lack of a fashion sense. I sat on his bed to put my shoes on and stood, leaving the bedroom.

"Are you going to call your driver back?" I could hear him following me. It sounded like he was walking awfully heavy.

I glanced back at him and tried not to laugh as I watched him hop down the hallway trying to put his shoes on while using the wall as a brace, "Yeah. I'm sick of walking everywhere. Remind me to buy you a car." It was a joke, but it didn't sound like such a bad idea.

He quit hopping, "Seriously?"

"Nope." I leaned against the wall, facing him, "I'll buy you a motorcycle instead." Ooh yeah, that would be better.

"A motorcycle?"

"Yeah. . . I think you'd look sexy picking me up from my house or work or school on a motorcycle." Was that too forward?

"You think so?" He quit leaning against the wall, "Wait, why would I be picking you up from your house? We're in my house right now."

So. . . he didn't want to see me anymore after the project was through? "Do you mean to say that we aren't an. . . that we aren't. . . is this a. . ." What could I possibly say without sounding like some dramatic teenage girl?

"Woah, woah, woah! Hold the phone! Are you trying to say that you want to be my. . . that you'll let me. . . that you wanna. . ." His mouth kept moving even after he finished a repetition of my rambling. . .

He cupped my chin and we closed our eyes together. This time he gave me a short, gentle kiss and then we stood there for a moment in each others' arms. neither of us seemed to know what to say, and yet a few words were lingering in my head and they were all that I could think so say. With my head on his shoulder I put my lips close to his ear. . . and the words came out without a fight or even an ounce of regret.

"I love you." This time, the words and the voice sounded like my own.

* * *

Wow! So how long did I put this chapter off? A month? Haha, anyways. Today is the start of my Spring Break! I will be going out of town on the tenth, so I'll try to roll out chapter 20 of BBE before I leave. By the way, my birthday is on April 11! I'm so excited! I hope you all stick with me to the bitter end! Thank you for being so patient with me! 


	16. Day Five: Mysterious Stranger

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

Ah yes, the end of school has arrived and my high school graduation is just days away! What does that mean? Freedom! Er, I mean. . . it means updates! XD Thank you to everyone that continues to read my crappy fics, even though it takes me an eternity to update! Enjoy! Don't forget to join the forum!

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own Yuugiou.

* * *

_**Recap:**_

_With my head on his shoulder I put my lips close to his ear. . . and the words came out without a fight or even an ounce of regret._

"_I love you." This time, the words and the voice sounded like my own._

- - -

Ever since I said those three little words I had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. It wasn't a feeling of excitement or a feeling of anxiety or fear; It was just a feeling, a feeling that wouldn't go away no matter how much I willed it to. Things were going to be different from then on out, and perhaps my body was trying to tell me so.

Dinner went well and we returned back to his apartment. I was about ready to fall asleep on the floor the moment we entered the door, but I managed to remain awake until I changed, took my medicine, brushed my teeth, and wriggled under the sheets next to Katsuya. He felt warmer tonight than he had any other night, but then again maybe that extra warmth was coming from my burning cheeks. Yes, things were already different.

When I was on the line between sleep and consciousness, I felt an arm wrap tenderly around my waist. It felt strange at first, but I was slowly able to get used to it, unable to move in my current state. . . not that I even wanted to move.

Sleep began to creep up on me. . . that is until the blond began to snore very loudly. I tried to scoot away, but the bed was too small to move very far. It would be impossible to sleep with that kind of noise.

I slid from the bed and slipped across the room to my computer, plugging it in and turning it on. The light from the screen made me feel at home. Why on earth was I getting on the computer anyways? I glanced back up at Jounouchi, who now had his hands stretched up against the headboard, the sleeves to his pajamas sliding down his arms. He really needed new clothes.

That was it! Opening up an internet browser, I made my way to the Domino City mall website and did a search on apparel. The usual stores that all of the preps in town shopped at were the first to come up, but one store in particular caught my eye. Why? Well that was easy enough; it had a flashing red 'new' written next to it. 'Club 160', what a truly crappy name. The description? Something akin to 'fashion for everyone, even dorks.' Wow, that sucked, but it was worth a shot, right? Some of the sample images looked decent. Hey, anything was better than what the boy had now. I felt kind of sorry for him, as much as I hated pity.

I shut down my precious machine and went back to the bed. The puppy's snoring finally subsided as he rolled onto his back to make room for me.

I was finally able to slip completely into the dark abyss that was sleep. . . and I had a dream that I was reluctant to wake from.

I was in a room that was so familiar and yet it wasn't. Light filtered in through a tiny window that I couldn't reach. I was shaking as though I was cold, but I wasn't cold at all. In fact, I was burning hot and sweat was forming at my brow. I was afraid of something, but what? This terrible feeling of dread and worry was balling up within my chest and just begging to be released. I wanted to scream and to cry, but I didn't know why I wanted to. . . and I didn't know why I wouldn't.

Footsteps neared the room in a calm pace, the noise growing louder and ringing in my ears. I stood up to face it even though my own body fought against me. My arms and legs were skinnier than I remembered, my stamina hardly good enough to maintain a standing position. I tried my best to appear brave, but instead I shook like a frightened dog or a wet cat. Who was coming? I had no idea, but apparently my heart knew.

The door swung open and slammed against the wall, breaking the stopper. A smile greeted me, but it was anything but welcome. That smile and those eyes, those cold eyes that reminded me of a prison.

Within an instant he was right in front of me, wrapping both of his hands around my neck and lifting me up to his level, laughing and licking his lips as his eyes danced across my body. That's when I noticed that I was naked. Exposed, vulnerable, shaking. . . in a room alone with Saki. So long ago it was something that I would have longed for, but now. . . now I just wanted to die, to die so that nothing could happen to me.

Katsuya. Katsuya would help me, Katsuya would save me.

I clenched my eyes tightly shut, praying silently to whatever deity existed that Katsuya would come to me. . . and he did. I opened my eyes as I hit the floor, the death-grip on my neck gone. Saki was lying on the floor, his arms spread out as though to mock the savior, but he didn't fool me. His eyes were closed and his mouth hung open. Crimson. . . blood looked so good on him, and it looked best when Katsuya stood over him, gun still cocked and pointed at my offender.

"Katsuya." Was all I could manage to say, and I wasn't so sure that I had actually said it.

He simply smiled back at my grateful greeting and dropped the gun, coming close to embrace me. His powerful arms wrapped around my shoulders and-

"Seto, you need to wake up." A voice and a nudging at my arm woke me from my precious dream. "We have to eat breakfast and go to school, Seto."

No, you need to leave me the fuck alone so that I can go back to sleep and finish my god damned dream. "No." I huffed out loud. Sleep. . . must sleep. . .

"Seto," Katsuya persisted, "we have to go. I thought you were 'Mr. Punctuality'." I could feel him sit next to me on the bed, his back resting against my arm.

"Fuck punctuality." I stared up at him with my recently-opened eyes, "I'm not going to school today. I don't feel like it." I really didn't, though. School was just a waste of my time.

I could see the grin gradually form across his face, "Well in that case, rich boy, I won't go to school either." His right hand came down and ran through my hair. I closed my eyes and let him do it. No harm in it since my hair was still a disaster from sleeping. His hand, however, began to venture a little further, his finger tips lightly tracing my jaw and-

What in the fuck was that smell?

I jerked away from his hand by accident, my face scrunching up in disgust, "Do you smell that?"

"Wasn't me!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, something that Mokuba would do (then again, he usually really **was** the culprit).

I rolled my eyes, urging myself to sit up, "That's not what I meant. It smells like something is burning."

Without so much as a warning, Jounouchi stood from the bed and fled the room. "Jounouchi?" I called out to him, but he was already gone. Something burning. . . did he catch our food on fire? What if the apartment was on fire?

I leapt from the bed and bolted down the hallway, arriving at the kitchen in a flash to find. . . Katsuya grinning, "What the hell?" I questioned, not quite piecing together the situation. Studying the room for only a moment, I discovered a smoldering black blob of something just a few feet away from him, an upside-down skillet lying not to far from the blond's feet, "What in the hell?" I repeated, "You weren't planning on eating that, were you? Or worse, you weren't planning on trying to feed that to **me** were you?" It was really too early to be joking. I pursed my lips to keep from chuckling at myself.

"Not unless you really want it." He smiled and attempted to pick up the lumps with his bare hands like only an idiot would do. "Damn." He hissed, pulling his hand away and shoving his fingers in his mouth after he had found the mess too hot to touch.

"Taste good?" I asked, smirking.

He only smirked in reply, removing his fingers from his mouth, "Yeah, wanna taste?"

A wild shiver ran up and down my spine, ending in a strange sensation in my fingers, toes, and even my face, "You're one sick puppy, Jounouchi." I told him, and yet. . .

"Jou-nou-chi?" **Katsuya** stuck out his bottom lip, making a puppy face that was very fitting for him.

I stepped close to him, "Ka-tsu-ya." I corrected, poking his nose with my index finger to emphasize each syllable.

"Nice shirt." He commented, smirking. I looked down at myself, wondering why he was suddenly saying that when I had been wearing the same one to bed for the past couple nights. . . then I saw why; the shirt must have come unbuttoned while I was sleeping. I pulled my hand away from his face and held my shirt closed.

"No, no, no." Katsuya insisted, "Leave it the way it was. I like it that way."

Normally I would have beat the shit out of someone that said that to me. . . then again I normally don't end up in such a situation. I normally don't stay at someone else's home, I normally don't sleep in someone else's bed, especially with the other person in it! The entire situation was completely abnormal and yet. . . and yet I didn't know whether or not I was alright with it.

I made my way to the kitchen table and took a seat, leaning on one hand. He sat across from me, "Something wrong, Seto?"

"It's weird." I said simply.

"What's weird?"

"You and I. . . it's weird." Did that sound harsh? Hopefully not. What would he say in response to that? Judging by the look on his face, he was getting very flustered very fast.

"Seto?"

"Yes, Jou-er-Katsuya?" Whoops, almost slipped.

"How do you get in your pants?"

I nearly choked on the air I was breathing. I laid my hands flat on the table in front of me to display my surprise, "What?" I all but screamed, "Why in the hell would you want to know how to get in my pants, you fucking pervert?!"

His eyes went wide and it suddenly occurred to me that he was probably speaking without thinking again, "Woah, woah, woah! I didn't mean it like that, I swear!" He threw his hands up as he confirmed my suspicion. "I meant that they're so tight, I don't understand how you put them on!" He scooted as far back into the chair as he could like a frightened child. Amusing.

I tried to play off my sudden outburst. "Ha, I knew that. I was just. . . joking. . ." I sighed, thinking about his question. How did I get in my pants? Hell if I know. I just kind of. . . "I just kinda slide into them."

"Slide?" He asked, causing me to regret using that particular verb. "And how, dare I ask, do you _slide_ into them?" Yup, he was definitely being weird.

"Well they're leather." I continued, trying to turn the conversation away from perversion, though I could feel a blush burning holes in my cheeks, "My legs are smooth enough to slide. I use a lot of lotion. Have you felt them?" I covered my mouth instantly, but it was too late. I had already said it. What in the hell was I thinking?! I was getting to be like the ditzy blond now; speaking before thinking.

He leaned across the table, "No, but I would love to." He then sat back and watched with satisfaction as my cheeks turned as dark as physically possible, maybe even darker than that.

"You're a trip, puppy." I shook my head, still trying to play the entire situation off. What on Earth was happening?

"So then, Mr. Genius, what are we doing on this wonderful day off of ours?" He put his hands behind his head and propped the chair up on its two back legs. Hm. . . what **were** we going to do? I'd like to get some work done, but that really didn't seem appetizing at the moment. My stomach let out a tiny growl. Oh yeah, we still had to eat.

"We could go get breakfast." I suggested, only to realize that he wasn't hearing me at all. He was just staring at me with some goofy smile on his face. Creepy. "Katsuuuuuuuuuuuuyaaaaaaaaa." I dragged his name out until I was able to lean close enough to flick him right between the eyes and knock him out of his weird trance. "Honestly, mutt, I'm sick of repeating everything I say just because you like to get lost in your own head." I folded my arms, frustrated.

"Sorry. What did you say, honey?" Honey?! I swung at him, but he jumped from his chair too quickly, knocking the cheap piece of furniture over in the process. "Too slow!" He chimed, fleeing the room.

I sat perfectly still, waiting for him to eventually find his way back into the kitchen. I used this technique against Mokuba all the time when I didn't feel like chasing his wild ass. The same thing would very likely work against someone such as Katsuya as well. Sure enough, he came moseying in.

"Why didn't you come after me?" He asked, his tone a bit crestfallen.

"Why chase after you when I know you will eventually come back to me?" I smiled in an attempt to bring back his cheery mood.

Jou smiled back, but his body started to sway dangerously as he stood in the doorway. I nearly jumped up to catch him because he looked as though he was about to faint.

"Are you alright, Jounouchi?"

"Oh, sorry. . . it's just that I'm touched."

I couldn't help but raise a brow at that, "Touched? By what?"

"What you said." His smile faded quickly.

I didn't understand what he was talking about, "What is so touching about it? It's fact. If I sit there long enough, you'll eventually give up and come back in here." Then it hit me and I coughed up a laugh, "Did you think I was going all poetic on you?" Again I laughed, but I really didn't mean to, "Come on now! Sure, I'm acting strange. . . I'm just going to blame the medication switch. . . but I'm not going to start spouting off love songs or pouring my heart out in long, pathetic speeches."

His eyes darted to the floor and I felt kind of bad. Thinking back over my words, I guess it was pretty easy for him to take them in a romantic sense. I slid back my chair and stood up to break the lingering silence, "Let's go out to breakfast." I stepped over to Katsuya, resting my hands on his shoulders, "We'll go wherever you want; My treat." As he looked up into my eyes he didn't seem so sad anymore.

"There are some things that I would like to discuss while we eat breakfast." He decided to randomly inform me, "Project things."

I looked away from his piercing brown eyes. Great, _project things_. "I'll do my best to answer what questions you may have." Actually, I would do my best to divert his attention from that topic.

"Alright then!" He practically yelled, shoving an arm into the air like going out to eat was so damn exciting, "Get on your most casual slacks and shirts, boy and girls, 'cause we're going to McDonalds! Yay!" He clapped his hands and dashed down the hallway.

I chased after him, and for once in my life. . . going out to eat felt pretty damn exciting.

- - -

Katsuya wore blue jeans and a brown t-shirt while I decided to go out in all black. What can I say? I look sharp in black.

By the time we actually arrived at the restaurant, they were serving lunch. I suppose that I took a little longer to get ready than the bitchy blond did. He kept whining about me "taking forever" to get ready. Anyways, we eventually **did** get there. . . just not as soon as he would have liked. What kind of stupid restaurant stops serving breakfast by eleven? That's just crazy. . .

We sat in a booth by the window. I loved window seats, they made the room feel bigger because I could see outside. I nearly fell into a trance just staring out at the trees and sky, before my stomach let out a rather loud gurgle. I turned to Katsuya, who sat across from me, "Are you going to get us some food or are we going to just sit here like dumbasses?"

"Uh, sure." He answered, though he didn't sound so sure. He stood from the booth, "What do you want?"

That's a damn good question. "I don't know. Get me a salad or something." I resumed staring out the window.

"A Big Mac?" He questioned in that annoying manner of his. "Alright then."

I glared at him this time, "If you get me one of those nasty grease cakes I'll shove it down your throat."

"You'll shove your **what** down my throat, Seto?" He asked in an obnoxiously loud voice. People gawked at us in disbelief, covering their children's ears and shaking their heads in disgust. Stupid blond mutt.

"Shut up!" I hissed, "Just get me a salad."

"A Big Mac." He countered, leaning across the table to bring our faces just inches apart. His breath was warm on my face, such a close proximity bringing out an electric feeling.

"Big Mac's and salads are very different." I got closer to him, tempted to close the gap, but not exactly understanding why. I didn't care who was staring anymore.

"Not really. Both have lettuce, tomato, onion, and thousand island dressing."

"What?" I raised my eyebrows.

"The 'secret mac sauce' is just thousand island dressing." He shrugged at me as though I should have already known something so useless.

I sighed, tired of arguing with him, "Fine, get me whatever."

"You must really like that kind of dressing, eh?" He bolted to the food line before I could connect my fist with any part of his body.

I waited for a long while, my stomach constantly reminding me that it hadn't been fed yet. I resorted to taping my fingers along the edge of the table, my sight shifting from the window, to my watch, to Katsuya, and then back to the window again. A cycle of waiting.

He came running back to me and I felt a wave of relief. . . that is until that I saw he was empty-handed and asking for money; what a moocher. When he finally began to head back to our table with the food, however, I wasn't feeling quite so hungry anymore.

A single tray loaded with two wrapped sandwiches and two heaps of grease-soaked french fries. Somewhere during my moments of gazing out the window and checking how many seconds had passed on my watch, the blond had managed to fill and load to large drinks with what I could only imagine was probably some highly-caffeinated soda. Great. Just what I need. . . caffeine. Actually, yeah, I could use some caffeine. I had missed out on my morning coffee. . . my multiple morning coffees.

Katsuya dropped the tray several inches to the table, "Here ya go, Mr. Bitchy. Eat up." He sneered, reaching for one of the drinks as both of them began to fall. He managed to save the one, but the other became a raging river of brown and ice as it raced across the table and inconveniently toward me. I was able to move out of the way, luckily enough.

"You idiot!" I screamed, pointing an accusing finger at him before checking myself to make sure none of it splattered on me. . . then I remembered that I was wearing all black clothing and nothing would have shown up on me anyways.

"Sorry." He laughed, picking up the tray and moving to the booth just behind us. He actually _sat_ the tray down this time rather than allowing it to drop. I waited to sit down just in case. "Oh darn!" He exclaimed in a voice that was ridiculously fake, "Now we have to **share** a drink." He grinned and my face felt strangely warm.

Stupid mutt. Then again, I had to admit that his little trick **was** clever. Clever, but annoying.

"You son of a fucking bitch." I cursed, trying my best to sound furious, "I'm going to buy a water for myself." I made to leave, but was stopped as Jou grabbed my wrist.

"Trust me, dude," He began, his tone absolutely serious, "you really don't want to drink water with fries and a loaded burger."

"Why the hell not?"

"It will taste like you're drinking piss." His mouth scrunched in various directions as he contained his laughter.

I shook my head, wondering just how exactly he knew what piss tasted like, "You really are a freak, you know that?" I wasn't trying to be insulting at all. . . well, maybe just a little.

My cell phone rang out of the blue and Katsuya finally released my arm so that I could pull it out of. . . somewhere. . . "Hello?"

"Seto!" Mokuba's voice. Why was he calling?

"Hello Mokuba, what's wrong?" I leaned back against the seat so that I would be comfortable.

"What's wrong?!" He yelled, "Gee, I don't know, big brother, maybe the fact that you didn't even bother to call last night and I've been worried sick ever since!"

Ah, shit, "I know, I'm sorry. I forgot all about it. You know how my memory is sometimes."

"You **never** forget to call me though, Seto. Whenever you're on a business trip or whenever you have to work really late, you make sure to call me, even if you're in the middle of a meeting! What on Earth could you have been doing that caused you to forget?"

I sighed, "I was busy."

"Doing what?!"

"Uh. . ." I could feel my cheeks growing dark. We had been about to go out clubbing when. . . oh boy, I couldn't tell him that! I glanced over at Jou for some inspiration, "Helping the dumbass dog with his homework and answering e-mails for work. Updating the website and calling clients." Yes, that was believable!

"Homework, huh? Did the subject happen to be sex ed?"

I must have jumped in my seat, "What?! What in the hell gave you that idea?" My cheeks were burning hotter.

"Yeah, yeah, Seto, deny it all you want, but I know how you **really **feel." A frightening little laugh.

"Listen Mokuba, I'm in the middle of lunch right now and-"

"Lunch? Where at?"

"McDonalds."

"McDonalds?!"

"What? Katsuya wanted to come here."

"Hah! You said his first name!"

I slapped my hand over my face for letting that slip, "I said Jounouchi."

"You said Katsuya!"

"No, I definitely said Jounouchi." Then it hit me, "Wait a second. Shouldn't you be in school?" Mokuba broke out into childish laughter that got my blood going. He was such a rebel these days, "You little shit! Get your ass to school right now!" I stood up, realized I was doing it, and sat back down. "I'll call you tonight, I promise."

"You better! Hehe, I love you Seto."

"Love you too, Mokuba. Bye." I finally hung it up and returned it to its hiding place.

"Sorry about that." I whispered to Jounouchi as I grabbed the sandwich and box of fries from the tray. The smell was horrifying.

"Nah, it's alright. I wish I had a kid brother." He smiled, biting into his food.

"Yeah, he's wonderful." I couldn't help but smile back as I thought about how lucky I was to have my little brother. He was my reason for living. I unwrapped the sandwich, thinking that I was ready to brave the disaster, and then I caught sight of the thing I was supposed to be able to consume. "This is fucking gross." Was my conclusion.

The punk laughed with his hand over his mouth, mumbling "Jush ee ert" over chewed burger.

"I don't want to eat it." I stared at the filthy mass that lay before me and sighed, mustering up the courage to lift it from the unfolded wrapper. Opening my mouth as wide as I physically could, I chomped down on it, displeased with the texture, and began to chew. I think my eyes started watering right about then.

"Very good!" Jounouchi praised.

I was only able to eat about half of my food before I was ready to burst at the seams. The blond appeared to be proud of me nonetheless.

"Hey Seto? Do you have a picture of you as a child?"

Though the question was innocent enough, it had nothing to do with anything we had been previously talking about and therefore made me a bit suspicious as to what this was leading to. I took a sip of our drink, "Uh, not on me. Mokuba has one around his neck."

"You mean in that card locket?"

"Yeah. I have one too."

"Back in Duelist Kingdom, he kept looking at that thing. He really loves you, Seto."

Duelist Kingdom, that was a long time ago. Mokuba used to idolize me so much. "Really? He shouldn't." I stood up, throwing out my trash, not willing to discuss the matter further, even though I told Jou that I would do my best to talk about anything he wanted. "Let's go shopping now. I want to change your wardrobe into something a bit more acceptable in public." I did my best to force a smile, but gave up and just walked out with my partner following me close behind.

- - -

We took a cab out to the mall again. In fact, we had the exact same drive as the other day. Guess he decided it was best that he didn't say a word to us this time, though.

With most adults at work and most minors in school, the traffic was at an absolute minimum and the mall looked like a ghost town. The only people in the building were housewives, senior citizens, and the occasional dropout or flunkie.

"So where exactly are we going?" The blond finally asked after we had been walking for a couple minutes.

"There's a new store that opened up that I found out about. It's supposed to have nice clothes for all different types of people. I figure that even someone like you can-" I took a peek over my shoulder to find that he wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to a goddamn word I was saying. "Blah, blah, blah. . ."

"Are you alright, Seto? I think you're losing it."

"Well, I started to answer your question, but it was obvious that you weren't listening to me, so I just decided to say 'blah' instead." Okay, perhaps I really **was** losing it, resorting to such a childish method.

"That's weird, Seto." He told me, laughing a little with amusement, "But really, what was your answer? I was too busy admiring your body to hear you."

"I said that we're going to a new shop that they just. . . you were **what**?!" I stopped to confront him, but the mutt sped up and went ahead of me, laughing like a brat.

I broke out into a steady jog to try and catch up and Katsuya watched me over his shoulder. He ran into some guy by mistake, and it looked like they had an exchange of words. The only thing I caught was my partner say "What an ass." Was someone being rude to him? I stared at the stranger long and hard. He had black hair and was really tall. Could it have been. . . ?

"You alright muffin?"

I attempted to slap the blond puppy's face, but he blocked me with his hands, "Don't call me that, you dipshit." I tried my best not to smile. "For a second there, I just thought that that guy was. . ." I couldn't help but stare at the store that the man had entered for a little while longer. "It's nothing." I concluded. "The place we're going to just opened. I looked it up on my laptop yesterday after dinner."

"I thought that you went to bed at the same time I did." He scratched at his head in confusion. How cute.

"I did, but I couldn't get to sleep. When you started snoring, it became an even harder task." I shot him a smirk.

"Heh, sorry." He apologized, though his grin kind of negated it.

- - -

Okay, so I knew that the store wasn't going to be anything special, but when we finally arrived, it was worse than I could have imagined. Loud music blared from the wide doorway, neon lights adorning the walls and clothing displays, and the store itself wasn't brightly lit. It was like Hot Topic minus the gothic theme. How did I even know about Hot Topic? Mokuba dragged me in there once. . . **once.**

The two of us stood outside of the place for probably a good five minutes just making fun of it like two goofy teenagers. Some bimbo that wandered by looked at us funny so I decided to make a face at her. . . she didn't seem to like that too much, heh. Stupid bitch.

"I definitely didn't expect something like this from you." Katsuya told me.

"Like what?"

"All of this! This shop, the face you made at that girl. . . you've been acting like a normal teenage guy ever since you came to live with me."

Now that I thought about it, he was right. I hadn't acted this way until I had begun staying with Katsuya, "I guess it's something about you, Katsuya. Does it bother you that I'm acting this way?"

"No! Not at all!"

"Then quit your bitchin'." I grinned to let him know that I was joking and then entered the depths, passing by the pathetic sales racks and wandering to the back of the store.

My puppy- er, **the** puppy followed me as I wound my way through the mountains of apparel. He pretended to look for an outfit, but I could easily tell that he was completely lost. Either way, I let him get away with it. I, for one, was actually searching for something that would make him stand out in a crowd, something that would bring out his good qualities. What **were** his good qualities? Hm. . . physically he was just average, I guess. Maybe I'd find something that resembled his personality. Katsuya had a great personality, I suppose.

As I searched through one rack in particular, I felt a random slap on my behind, eliciting a yelp from my lips and causing me to freeze up. It was no doubt Jou, as he suddenly became very enthusiastic about finding something to wear. I decided to just ignore the action. Would I normally do that? No, maybe not. . .

I kept looking back and forth between the blond and various shirts, trying to determine by eyesight alone what would look best on him. A few times, I took a shirt and its hanger from the display and held it up to him, eyeing him up and down and then changing my mind. This entire thing was beginning to get on my nerves.

Finally I found it; the perfect shirt for Jounouchi Katsuya. It was mostly black, but with green around the collar and wrist-cuffs and a wild flame-like design that followed the buttons down the middle of the shirt in the same color green as the rest. "This is definitely you." I couldn't help but grin at my discovery as I held it up.

"Woah." Was all Katsuya said, not sounding so happy about it.

I pulled the shirt against my chest, "You don't like it?" I felt a bit. . . crestfallen. Why would I feel like that just because someone didn't like a shirt that I picked out? Mokuba always liked the outfits I chose for him. . . I looked the shirt over again, wondering what it was that Katsuya didn't like about it.

"No, that's not it at all!" Much to my shock, he snatched it away from me, "It's just that I've never worn something like this. You really think I could pull it off?" He held it up to himself and it certainly looked better than that shitty brown shirt he was currently wearing (no pun intended, by the way).

"Absolutely." I smirked, venturing towards the pants.

"What kind of pants are you looking to get me?" He asked needlessly, grimacing slightly as he saw what I was reaching for.

"Do you really have to ask?" I shoved some black-leather bottoms into his arms.

"These might not be the right size." He whined, stalling for time to keep from trying them on.

"Oh, they're right. I checked your trouser size last night when I couldn't sleep." I folded my arms across my chest. Okay, so I was actually just guessing at what size pants he wore just from looking at him, but it wouldn't hurt to tell a tiny lie every now and then, right?

His eyes grew wide, "What **else** did you do while I was sleeping?"

"Hurry up and try it on!" I demanded, urging him toward the direction of the only dressing room in the store.

"Alright, but pick out a new outfit for yourself too!" He called back to me as he entered.

A new outfit for myself, huh? I looked around a bit, not really wanting to purchase anything for myself. It was actually kind of fun, shopping with someone. I was having a good time. Mokuba would be very happy to hear that. I would definitely have to remember to call him tonight, otherwise he'd just give me hell again. Hopefully the runt went to school after I told him to. He really could be such a hassle sometimes. In more ways than one, Jou reminded me of my little brother, and yet. . .

"Seto!"

I turned to the direction of the entrance as someone screamed my name. At first I had feared that it was some whacked-out fan, but the voice was too familiar. I came to find out that it was the one who had been frequenting my mind.

"Mokuba?"

"Seto!" He ran to me, grabbing my shirt and yanking me towards the entrance, "Come on, you have to come home!"

"What? Why!" I shot a look at the dressing room; Jounouchi hadn't come back out yet, "I can't leave right now, Mokuba, Kats-Jounouchi is still in the dressing room."

Mokuba stopped for a moment and cocked his eyebrow at me for a long while, "Big brother, there's been some tall guy with black hair wandering around on our property. The guards said he never got in through the gate; they can't figure out how he could have gotten inside! When they went to go get him, he was gone! He could still be in the fences!" He pulled on my shirt yet again, "So you have to come home right now!"

Black hair. Wandering around the house. Disappeared. Black hair. . . black hair. . . "No." I believe I said, but I wasn't entirely sure. "Tell Jounouchi that I'm at my house!" I yelled to the clerk behind the desk, not entirely sure that she heard me, but in too much of a hurry to check.

I fled the store and ran through the mall just slow enough that Mokuba could keep up. My driver, Saehara was parked just outside in the limousine that apparently Mokuba had arrived in. I hopped in and my brother followed. "The mansion." I ordered my employee, and away we went.

I had forgotten about Jounouchi for the moment. Right now, the only person on my mind was. . .

Saki.

* * *

Okay, so this version is a couple pages shorter than the original. That's because this one doesn't have the 'OMG Seto is missing' scene. Hehe, now you get to see why exactly Seto randomly left poor Jou behind. Seto freaks when Saki's involved and falls into a one-track mind.

Sorry for taking so long! I reread this one by myself and fixed any errors I could find. Grammar isn't my high point, so expect errors in that department. I'll get to work on BBE 21 and BBESS 17 immediately!


	17. Day Five: Silent Suicide

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

Hm. . . I think that this is actually a chapter. Haha! Yes, yes indeed! It is chapter seventeen of bbess! Enjoy it, my darlings!

**Disclaimer:** Nope, I still don't own Yuugiou.

- - -

_**Recap:**_

"_The mansion." I ordered my employee, and away we went._

_I had forgotten about Jounouchi for the moment. Right now, the only person on my mind was. . ._

_Saki._

* * *

We couldn't have arrived at the house fast enough. The driveway seemed longer than I remember and the gates took their time opening. With all of the surveillance and whatnot to keep people off of my property, how was anyone able to get in? Then I remembered that even **I** had been able to break into my own house before back during Duelist Kingdom when that flaming freak Pegasus tried to take over. Saki definitely wasn't an idiot. He was given an education that was probably just as good as my own. His knowledge of my mansion's security, however, should be minimal.

As I repeatedly ran the situation through my head, the driver took Mokuba and I right up to the front door. A couple of guards backed up to the car, guns in hand and eyes and ears alert for the intruder. I felt like I was in some movie where assassins were trying to murder the President. . . and I just so happened to be the President.

I held my little brother in front of me as I hurried the two of us inside, followed closely by the two guards that had accompanied us as we exited the vehicle. My driver, Saehara, left immediately.

"Have you all seen this person at all since Mokuba left to get me?" The two men followed Mokuba and myself down the left hallway, stopping when I stopped at a sconce.

"No sir," the blond man replied, "There have been no more sightings of him since Mokuba left in the limousine, though a housekeeper did claim that she heard some sort of shuffling outside one of the guestroom windows."

"Guestroom window? First story or second story? And was the window opened that she was able to hear that?" I shoved the sconce roughly upward, revealing a fist-sized hole in the wall. I reached inside and pulled out the handgun that I had hidden in there.

"The very last room in the East wing, mister Kaiba." The brunet answered, "The room on the second floor. The housekeeper had opened the window in order to air out the room, after all, no one ever says in th-"

"That's all the information I need." I informed the two of them as I checked to make sure my weapon was still loaded; and it was. "You two return to your watch." I glanced down at Mokuba, who looked too thrilled for comfort. "What are you so excited about?" I asked him.

"This is so damn cool! It's like an action movie!"

"Watch your damn mouth!" I yelled, then smiled upon realizing my interesting choice of vocabulary.

"Practice what you preach, big brother." Mokuba stuck out his tongue. "So. . . what do we do now?"

"Well," My mind went through the situation one more time, "The room was on the second floor, so he would need a really large ladder to get up there and climb in. It's surprising enough that a human was able to get on the premises, so I highly doubt he would be able to sneak a two-story ladder in with him. Anyways, if he is actually still in the area, he is still outside, quite possibly within the boundaries of the wall that surrounds a large portion of our property."

"We live in a fort, Seto." Mokuba said with a sound of awe.

"Heh, something like that." I sighed, my heartbeat not quite as fast as it had been. Being with my brother always seemed to calm me down. It was like as long as I was with Mokuba, everything would be okay. I leaned down and hugged him, gun still secure in one hand, and planted a little kiss on his forehead, "I love you, Mokuba, don't ever forget that." I flashed a grin so that it wouldn't be too awkward.

He chuckled, "I love you too, my dangerous older brother." He said the last bit while pretending to fire a gun at invisible enemies.

A gun. Fire a gun. This gun in my hand. . . I hate guns. Guns are so. . . messy.

"_What happened to the Seto who laughed and smiled and had so many friends?"_

No, not that question again. Stop asking that question!

"_What happened to Yagami Seto?"_

He's dead! He's dead! He died a long time ago!

_Gun shots, from the gun in my hand. . . he fell, he fell for good. He would never ask me that awful question. . . he would never ask me again._

"Seto? Seto?" Mokuba tugged on my arm, those wide eyes staring up at me with concern. "Are you okay, Seto?"

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine Mokuba." I stared at the object in my hand, "Let's just go sit in the livingroom until this whole thing blows over, okay?"

"Okay!" He chimed, leading the way.

"_You aren't a bad person, big brother."_

Yes, Mokuba was always the beacon of light that I needed to make it out of the darkness.

- - -

The two of us sat on the floor in front of the couch so that we couldn't be seen (or worse, shot at) through any of the surrounding windows. We chatted idly for what seemed like forever, eventually falling into a brief bout of silence that was interrupted by some crazed pounding on the front door(s). On instinct, I pulled Mokuba against me, holding the back of his head with my hand. No, now wasn't the time to be cowering. . . I had to defend myself, my home, and most importantly, my beloved family.

I fled to the door, vaguely aware of Mokuba behind me as I went, flinging open the door with wicked speed. My target yelled something, but I wasn't paying enough attention to recognize the word. I pointed the gun at the offender's head, "Come any closer and I'll blow your fucking hea- Jounouchi?" As I stared past the gun, I could see a mass of blond hair and a pair of giant brown eyes that appeared cross-eyed as Katsuya attempted to look at the weapon I had planted just above the bridge of his nose.

"Sorry." Was all that I could think to say as I lowered my weapon and stepped back inside, shoving the handgun in a drawer. "Come on in." My heart and body both needed a breather after that one. . . and Katsuya likely needed a new pair of pants.

He shook of the shock, "What the fuck do you mean 'come on in'?! I was worried as hell about you!"

Isono, whom I hadn't even noticed until now, ran up towards the door, shoving a gun inside of his suit jacket. I didn't even know that he carried a handgun. . . it was probably high time I installed a few metal detectors in the corporate office.

So the mutt was worried. I turned away from him in embarrassment as I remember that I had abandoned him in some weird-ass dressing room at the mall. "I didn't want to just disappear like that, but there were more important matters at hand."

"So you weren't kidnaped?"

"What?" I looked him dead in the eyes, surprised to find that he was completely serious, "Have you ever known me to get kidnaped, Jounouchi?"

"Well, no. . . but the woman said that you left with a black-haired person, and so I thought that-"

"Black hair?" A black-haired person? I left with. . . oh. "Mokuba, come here!"

Mokuba poked his head out from behind me, "Yeah, Seto? Oh, hey Jou!"

Katsuya said nothing. Instead, his eyes slid shut and his mouth fell to form a flat line, his entire body shaking just enough to be noticed.

"Are you alright, Jou?" Mokuba asked innocently.

The blond opened his eyes, "Well, I'm a bit angry for having got so worried for no reason, but at the same time I am relieved to discover that the one with black hair was you and not Saki."

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! Stupid fucking mutt! If I narrowed my eyes any further they'd be shut! Why in the hell did he have to go and mention that bastard's name?! Mokuba wasn't going to let me hear this end of this!

Mokuba gave me a look, "Saki? Saki has been around again and you didn't even tell me?" He pulled on my sleeve to try and capture my attention. "Listen to me when I talk to you, Seto! Don't' ignore me!" He sounded just like his adoptive father when he said that. I couldn't help but listen. I was conditioned to listen. To listen and to obey.

I stared my little brother in the eyes. His dark violet competing against my cold blue, a competition that Mokuba could never win.

Some outsider cleared his throat loudly to demand our attention, and we kept our glares as we gave him what he wanted. Jounouchi shrank back a little. I guess that wasn't what he was expecting.

"What?" Mokuba sounded a little pissed, but he usually did when he found out I had been keeping a secret.

"Kaiba," Katsuya began, addressing me, "Since we're at your house, you think I could see some pictures?"

Was he trying to change the subject and keep my brother and I from fighting? "What pictures?" I asked, willing to go along with it for now.

"Pictures of you when you were a little kid, or maybe some photos of your real parents."

Photographs of myself as a child? Photographs of my dead parents? What in the fuck was this dumbass thinking, bringing up something like that?! In front of Mokuba, no less! I could feel my whole body shake involuntarily as I worried about Mokuba's reaction. He had always lived feeling guilty for the death of our mother, and even the slightest mentioning of her threw him into a slump.

I shoved my dear little brother into the house and slammed the door shut, "Look, you little bastard," I said through clenched teeth, "I know you're pissed that I took off at the mall, but I didn't think that you would be the type to fight dirty. This is exactly why I never tell anyone anything!"

"Woah, woah! I didn't mean to-"

"Don't fucking interrupt me!"

"Oh shut up! I'm sick of hearing you bitch!" As he screamed his order, I couldn't help but comply. It was awkward for him to yell like that, and apparently he thought so too, as I could see him hesitate for a moment afterward, "Just listen for a second before jumping down my throat, okay?" He let out a long sigh.

I suppose that he was right. Jounouchi wasn't the type to think before speaking. His request to see the pictures was very likely a completely innocent curiosity. "I'm listening." I informed him, as it didn't appear as though he would continue speaking unless I told him so.

He smiled a pitiful smile and I couldn't help but turn away as he began to speak finally, "I didn't think that it would upset you if I asked to see some photos. I was only curious, and nothing more."

A hand fell lightly upon my cheek, the backs of the fingers running across my skin and I couldn't help but face him again in utter shock. His hand. . . on my cheek. . . **my** face. . . and yet. . .

"Why do you do that?" I think I asked, though I felt as if I was losing myself in his touch. Why? Why did it feel so. . . wonderful?

"Why do I do what? Touch your face?" He pulled his hand away and my face instantly felt a chill, my chest burning immediately.

"No!" I blurted by mistake, surprising myself.

He took a step back, just as surprised as me.

I turned away yet again, tired of constantly embarrassing myself like that, "No. . ." I repeated, whispering this time as if to erase what I had said before and replace it with a different tone.

A catcall whistle came howling from my left. "It's not like that, Mokuba!" I yelled, forgetting that I hated sudden outbursts and turning to the window that I knew Mokuba was leaning from. The runt quickly withdrew, after snickering like a brat of course.

I grinned, a wild itch running down my spine. Hell, what hasn't Jounouchi seen me do already? There was only one thing I couldn't think of, and I didn't see the reason to deny him the entertainment. I flung open one of the front doors and ran inside, grabbing Mokuba in a bear-hug and dragging him down to the area rug on the floor. "You little brat!" I scolded falsely, pinning him down as he kicked his legs and flailed his arms, tears streaming from his eyes as he laughed uncontrollably.

"You're not really angry?" Mokuba asked, his hilarity subsiding as I stopped my uncharacteristic activities, "You're smiling." He pointed out, as if I didn't already know.

I covered my mouth, pretending that he had told some dark secret. The truth was, I had smiled a lot more in the past few months than I had for years. It was probably ever since Battle City, when Mokuba pointed out that I never smiled or laughed. I wanted to change that so that Mokuba would be happy again. I smiled best when Mokuba was happy.

Jounouchi had found his way inside by then, "He smiles a lot lately." He stopped a few feet away and I took this opportunity to lift myself off of the floor and offer a helping hand to my little brother.

"It's because he has you, Jou." Mokuba grinned, jabbing his elbow into my side.

It's because I have Katsuya? No. . .

"It is **not**!" I growled, though I felt like a little kid denying a crush. "I'm smiling because. . . because I'm-"

"In love with Jounouchi!" With that, Mokuba fled up the stairs, obviously fearing for his life after a comment like that.

I sighed and shook my head. I'd be running around all day if I chased after that kid. He really was a handful. "Well then, shall we go up?" I put my right foot on the first step, my hand on the rail. "You wanted to see some pictures, right?" I glanced at him over my shoulder. I really didn't want to show him pictures. I didn't really want to look at them myself. My old family was just a distant, painful memory that I'd rather not reawaken. Without my parents, there wasn't anyone left in my old family to even mention being related to. They were dead to me.

"Yes, I do." He came up close behind me and I took this as the signal to begin the climb.

On the way up I could hear him stop for a moment as one step creaked rather loudly, "This house is really old. It's been in the Kaiba family for a long time." That was the same thing I told myself as I had climbed these same stairs as a teenager. The awful creaking in the dark as I was followed slowly upward into that same room. This feeling was all-too familiar. I hated how close Katsuya was to me.

"Oh." He barely replied as he continued following.

"Hey Seto?" The blond jogged to catch up and walk beside me. Well, that was better than following so close behind.

"Yeah?" I asked, not really interested in the slightest bit.

"Have you ever seen a movie called _The Shining_?" He grinned. The shining? That movie was about a haunted hotel. . . oh for fucks sake. I slapped him on the back of his head, and that wiped the grin off his face, "Hey, what was that for?!"

"You're a doofus." I pursed my lips, though I couldn't help from smiling a little. "My house doesn't look like the hotel from _The Shining_." Actually, it kind of did. . .

"But is it haunted?" He continued, actually sounding afraid.

I stood in place for a moment, rubbing at my chin to add to the suspense. I looked down at him with half-lidded eyes, "Hmm. . . I wonder. . ." With a smirk, I began to walk again. . .

. . . and yet I couldn't help but wonder about it myself.

- - -

As we arrived at my bedroom I opened the doors and led the way inside. Just as I had anticipated, the blond was mesmerized by my decorating skills. . . or um. . . maybe just my stuff. I'm pretty decent at decorating though, if I do say so myself. I think I went a little overboard with the blue, however. . .

"Do you like it?" I asked, but he just continued staring, his eyes eventually becoming fixated on my bed. "Jounouchi?" He just kept staring, not blinking even once. I smirked, "Alright, I'm going to lay down and you're gonna screw me."

I've never seen anyone's head turn so quickly. Katsuya faced me, his eyes wide and his jaw slack.

"Yeah, I knew that would get your attention, you fucking pervert." I smiled by mistake, "This is it. This is my room. Nothing special, eh?"

"It's awesome!" He chimed, grinning like an idiot. "I wish that I had a room like this!"

Mokuba's head popped into the doorway, "Alright Seto, I'm going now!" He practically yelled, "I'll see you when you come home!"

During our chatting in the livingroom before Jounouchi nearly beat a hole in my door, Mokuba and I had decided that it was best if he didn't stay in the house until the second week of the project came around and I would be home to take care of my brother and protect him. He was going to stay at an employees house. He was friends with their children.

I stepped over to him, ruffling his hair with one had, "Alright. Take care of yourself and have fun, okay? And don't forget to e-mail me and call me at least once every day." I snuck a peek back at Jounouchi and planted a small kiss on Mokuba's forehead.

After honoring me with a tight hug around my waist, Mokuba bounded down the hallway, his bags swinging around as he did so.

"Where is he going?" The puppy questioned.

"He's going to stay at the house of one of my closest employees. There are children his age there that he plays with. . . or _hangs out_ with. . . at school, and he will be safer from Saki there. I wouldn't put anything past him at this point." I stared unintentionally at one of my windows, "But there's no point in pondering over him, right? We were going clubbing!" I can't believe that I forgot! What a perfect diversion from photographs!

"Well, we were, but. . . I don't have an outfit, remember?"

Oh yeah, **that**'s why we were at the mall. . . "You can borrow some of my clothes." I yanked open my closet doors and walked inside. Geez, the blond was even in awe at my closet. "I think I have something similar to the one in the store. The pants will be a little long on you, but it shouldn't be bad enough to cause problems."

He didn't bother to follow me inside, so I had to go all the way back out once I had the outfit I picked out for him. It was very similar to the attire that I had grabbed back at that store. For some weird reason I had both a green version and a blue version. I probably didn't like the green one, because green isn't very becoming on me, and therefore purchased the blue one. I could wear the blue one and he could wear the green one! . . . would that be weird?

"I'm going to take a shower first, though. You can make yourself at home. There is a bathroom in nearly every guest room, so you can shower too, if you want. You can raid the fridge or something, or just snooze on a couch or a bed. . . not **my** bed though. Just. . . do something that won't cause any trouble or mess." With that I retreated into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me. The last thing I wanted was for him to walk in on me and do something weird. . . or maybe it was the first thing I wanted. . . **no! **Definitely **not**!

I wasted no time in peeling away my clothes only to find myself gazing into the mirror. I always seemed to follow the same ritual before showering. This body of mine. . . what did everyone else see that I could not? What made so many horrible people want this tainted body of mine? The scars on my wrists, the scars on my back. . . it hadn't really been so long ago that my body was frequented by cuts and bruises. So why? Why did those around me adore it so much? And him too. . . Katsuya. . .

The thought made me smile. Katsuya like my body, yes, but he also liked more than that. He told me that he loved my smile, and that meant more to me than any shallow comment about my used body. My personality, did he like that too? Did he like my eyes? My laugh? My ideas? Did he like having conversations with me?

I climbed into the shower, turning on the water and allowing for it to run until it was hot before stepping underneath the showerhead.

Did my condition force Katsuya away? No. . . every time he was right there for me. He was there when I needed someone.

I loved the way that hot water felt against my skin. It was so soft and comforting. I loved how I could control the temperature to make it just the way that I wanted. It was wonderful to be in control of something.

After my abusive encounters as a young teen, I would always take a hot bath or shower to clean up and sooth my wounds. Sure it stung a little bit if there were any cuts, but the overall effect was nice. The way the steam from the water fogged everything up and made it difficult to see, like I was floating above the clouds and away from this hell called Earth. But in the end, the shower would be done and I would have to climb out onto the cold tile floor, a solid reminder that I was indeed still stuck in this prison.

It wasn't really a prison anymore; there wasn't a damn thing to stop me from packing up and moving to a new mansion while having the old Kaiba mansion demolished. No, there wasn't anything standing in my way, and yet. . . I couldn't do it. I found myself drawn to this old building. I belong in the Kaiba household, in the original house. My blood wasn't Yagami blood; it ran with the stench of the Kaiba name.

Rag in hand, I lathered up some soap and scrubbed at my skin, wishing it would all just come off and I'd be nothing. Impossible. Why do I always wish for stupid things?

I rolled my eyes as I ran the soapy washcloth across my chest. Why was I washing my body first? I always washed my hair first and **then** my skin. So stupid. Why am I so distracted? Annoying, so annoying. No matter.

I continued to scrub at my skin until my whole body looked pink and then washed my hair. Out of order, but just as efficient.

By the time I finally finished cleaning myself, I found another disaster created by my own idiocy. I had left my clothes out in my bedroom. Sure, I could have just put my old outfit back on. . . if I hadn't thrown it to the floor and allowed it to get soaked when I came out of the shower. I crossed my fingers as I opened the small closet in the corner of the bathroom and was rewarded with a robe that I had long forgotten about. I wouldn't dare venture out into my bedroom butt-ass naked with Katsuya quite possibly still outside.

I cursed myself in the mirror for blushing as I pulled on the robe and went out.

- - -

I huffed a sigh of relief when I found my room vacant, but I shut the bedroom door just to be safe. I didn't want him walking in on me while I was changing.

Then again, a closed door tends to make people curious, and a door with no lock keeps no one out. . . as proven by the stupefied blond that wandered back into my room just as I had slipped off the robe.

I had my clean shirt over my crotch in a matter of seconds, hoping to whatever deity existed that he hadn't seen anything. "What the fuck?!" I yelled at him to let him know I was more than pissed.

"Woah! Hey, your fault for not locking the door!" The mutt didn't even pretend to cover his eyes.

"There isn't a lock." I muttered. None of the doors had locks anymore. Gozaburo didn't want me to lock myself in any of the rooms, so he had them all removed years ago.

"Get dressed and let's go." He urged, coming close. I always loved how he didn't dig into things that might bother me. . . whether he was conscious of doing so or not.

"Turn around first." I ordered.

"Nuh-uh." He smiled, staring even more intently.

"Fine." I gave in, turning around. Okay, so he could see my ass, big deal. It wasn't any different from any other ass on the planet. He had already seen the scars on my back. . . so yeah, he wasn't seeing anything new or special.

"Daaaaaamn." I uttered, dragging out the word for what seemed like an eternity.

I growled in response, dressing myself from head to toe as quickly as I could manage, my cheeks burning all the while.

The moment I finished, arms wrapped around me from behind, "I like you no matter what you wear."

There was an awkward silence that left me with an uneasy feeling. His arms around me didn't feel the same as they had before, in fact they felt like. . . they felt so protective, as though he was afraid to let go of me for fear that I would. . . Saki always hugged me the same way. It was that same protective grip and tone of voice.

Why?

* * *

Warning: this chapter was not edited! I finished writing it at about 4:30 in the morning before my trip to Kentucky! Sorry for the super long wait! Just point out any huge mistakes and I'll fix them when I return!

Thanks for reading! I'll be working on **Behind Blue Eyes** next! Hold tight!


	18. Day Five: Night Out

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

Yes, that's right. Here is yet another chapter of the mirror story. This is the chapter before the rape scene that you all (and myself) are (frighteningly) yearning for. I'll do my best to update at a better pace than I have been, but college and work are kicking my ass big time.

**Disclaimer:** Don't. Own. Jack. Shit.

* * *

**Recap:**

_The moment I finished, arms wrapped around me from behind, "I like you no matter what you wear."_

_There was an awkward silence that left me with an uneasy feeling. His arms around me didn't feel the same as they had before, in fact they felt like. . . they felt so protective, as though he was afraid to let go of me for fear that I would. . . Saki always hugged me the same way. It was that same protective grip and tone of voice. _

_Why?_

- - -

By the time we finally arrived at our destination, the mutt was staring out of the windows of my car, his eyes wide like an excited little kid, his mouth open just enough to show his wonder. If he really **was** a dog, he'd be wagging his tail a mile a minute.

Our choice of transportation was somewhat of an attention-grabber, but it really wasn't out of the ordinary to me. Katsuya, however, was in awe about that as well. He probably felt like a celebrity or something. I will never understand why on Earth people crave that kind of attention; I can't stand it.

The blond insisted upon us wearing sunglasses. I felt stupid wearing them since it was nearly sunset, but he told me that by covering my eyes, people wouldn't recognize me. I suppose that it worked, since I didn't even hear my name whispered among the crowd that eyed us as we emerged from my limousine.

For a punk, Jou sure did clean up well. In fact, he looked great in my clothes. I was a little shocked when my shoes fit him perfectly, I was almost certain that his feet were bigger than mine, considering how clumsy he was and all. I would have to redo his wardrobe whenever I got bored enough.

There was a line at the door that must have wrapped around the building and the large man blocking the entrance didn't appear to be moving anytime soon. Hmm. . . what to do, what to do? I eyed the filthy whores flashing their fake chests at him, and even **that** wouldn't make him budge. What kind of straight man could resist that? Unless. . .

"Aw man!" Katsuya whined, "Do we have to wait in that line?"

"I may be rich, but I'm not a celebrity. . . not exactly anyways. However. . ." I looked back at the bouncer, who just eyed the crowd like some sort of government official. I felt a smile crawl upon my lips by accident, "Stay here." I moved toward the man at the door and the puppy stayed put just like I ordered him to. What a good boy.

I had come to a conclusion and could only hope that my instincts would serve me well, just as they always had. The only kind of man that wouldn't go for breasts would be a man that doesn't like women. So. . . he would like men, right? Hey, call me crazy, but I sure as hell wasn't about to wait in a line with a bunch of human trash.

As I approached the burly man I could see his eyes looking me up and down. Was he trying to size me up for a fight or was he checking me out? It was hard to tell with people like him. Ugh, I sound like such a professional, but. . . I guess that I kind of am. . .

He was a little taller than me, and significantly wider than me, so I was sure to keep my guard up. Jounouchi would come help if he tried anything though, right? Of course he would. He made a promise to protect me, and Jou wasn't the type to go back on his word. . . not that I would need protecting or anything. What had gotten into me recently? Normally I am so sure of myself and my ability to fight, but ever since this project began. . .

Anyways, the big guy was eyeing me as I approached him, and once I got close enough I could tell that he was going to be quite _friendly_.

"Let me guess, you want me to let you skip the line, right?" He arched a brow at me, his stance of mock-intelligence not fooling anyone.

"Not without something in exchange, of course." I countered, tilting my head to the side. If there was one thing that I had a knack for, it was persuading people. I run a business after all, and sometimes buyers need a little bit of persuasion before you can make off with their money.

His laugh was gruff and sent a chill down my spine, "Now you're speakin' my language." His hand rose up to run along my face. I almost pulled away, that is until I found myself entrapped by the arm he managed to snake around my waist. I did my best to appear cool and collected, even though my brain was screaming at me to knee him in the groin. I flashed the seductive smile that I had mastered long ago and allowed for him to hold me that way. As long as Katsuya didn't play hero and slug the guy in the face, I'd be able to get the two of us inside in no time at all.

The puppy was a good boy after all, and didn't say a word or even approach me, I wondered what might be going through his head; did this situation even bother him at all?

Reaching down into my impossibly-small pocket, I pulled out a few bills, freeing one of the one-hundreds and casually shoving it down the bouncers pocket, making sure to run my hand along his massive thigh. There was something all-too familiar about it all, but I pushed the thought to the back of my head.

Rather than allowing me to pass, the giant just flashed a creepy smile and with that massive, rough, filthy hand of his. . . proceeded to grab my ass. I couldn't help but let out a noise. **No one** grabs my ass except. . . uh, no one grabs my ass. I allowed a look of disgust to cross my features and worried that it might diminish my chances of getting Jou and I inside, but the man stepped aside to allow me passage.

As if by some sort of cue, Katsuya began to follow me inside.

"Where the hell do you think you're going, blondie?"

Uh oh. I turned around to find that the bouncer had grabbed Jounouchi by the arm to keep him from coming with me. In a few swift steps I was at my partner's side (partner? I suppose so. . .) And draping my arm over his shoulders, "He's with me." I leaned my head against his. I think my heart began to beat a little faster. Was it this situation, or. . .

"Lucky bastard." The ogre (ah, I crack myself up) muttered under his breath. I was tempted to reply with 'yes I am', but decided against it as I grabbed Katsuya's hand, our fingers intertwining as we hurried inside.

- - -

It was mostly dark inside, the only sources of light being the neon rope lights that seemed to outline everything and the pendant lighting that hung invitingly over the bar. I hadn't had a drink in what seemed like forever. Perhaps it would be the perfect night to get something. Wine, daiquiri, margarita. . . oh, the last time I went to this particular place I had a wonderful martini. . .

"They aren't checking IDs." Jounouchi pointed out, pushing his sunglass on top of his head. What a good idea, it would probably be easier to see without them.

"That's because this place is supposed to be for people that are 21 or older." I pushed my glasses to rest on top of my head. "That means that they won't card anyone in here. We were supposed to get carded at the door, but we didn't because-"

"Because you're fucking hot." I was a bit shocked by his interruption, but he didn't seem to notice. "I'm so glad that you're all mine!" His voice was loud. Was he trying to attract everyone's attention? Without any sort of warning, he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me flush against him. . . in public.

"Jounouchi?" I could only blink repeatedly, as the rest of my body recovered from shock.

"_Jounouchi?"_ He returned, sounding a bit unhappy.

"Katsuya. . ." I corrected with a whisper, "What are you doing?" What on Earth was he thinking? We were out in public and he was being even more perverted than usual! And yet. . . it didn't bother me as much as I expected it to. . .

"Think of this as security." He smirked, dipping me down with one arm and brushing my hair out of my eyes with the other.

The rest of the room was a blur to me. I could see silhouettes of the mass of people around us, but they were faceless and silent. There was only one person here with me and that was Katsuya.

"Can I?" He asked, and I wondered what he meant, but had no time to question him as my inquiry was interrupted by his greedy mouth. I say **his** mouth was greedy, but a part of me wondered if I really meant my own. I put up a fight but realized that I had to force my body to protest and thus gave in to what my heart really wanted.

My eyes closed all on their own and I didn't care who was watching anymore. I surprised myself when I gave his tongue permission to explore my mouth, but I certainly didn't regret such a decision. Jounouchi Katsuya is a wonderful kisser. Well there's something I never thought I'd say.

By the time we were standing upright again, the faces and voices around me came into existence and their whistling and hollering made my cheeks burn.

"That wasn't necessary." I informed the puppy, turning away from him. Upon coming face-to-face with the crowd around us I turned back toward him, blushing even harder than before.

"But you liked it." He grinned, pulling me close. Was he a mind reader?

"But it wasn't necessary." I repeated, laying my hands flat on his chest in an attempt to push him away. Now he was just trying to embarrass me.

"But you liked it."

I sighed, wriggling out of his arms at last, "You're really weird."

"You like that, too." He grinned and I couldn't keep myself from returning the smile. Yeah, I **do** like that about him.

"Come on **blondie**," I teased, "Let's go get a drink, this place has some of the best martinis." I grabbed his hand again, but he was quick to shake me off. A pain shot through my chest, an upset expression likely showing on my face.

"I'd rather not."

Oh, that's right. With a father that is constantly drinking and participating in promiscuous activities due to alcohol, it wasn't such a shock that Jou didn't want to drink. He didn't want to become like his father. "Sorry, I forgot." I bit my bottom lip for being so forgetful, "Well you can go find a table for us while I get a drink." I wasn't going to come to a club without getting a drink.

"Do you **have** to drink?"

Did I have to? Sometimes alcohol was the only thing that kept me sane. Many times when Gozaburo invited clients over he allowed me to have a drink with them. I'd purposely get myself drunk just so I didn't have to truly experience what I knew was to come later in the evening. I took great comfort in drinking.

"Yes." I answered, before heading toward the bar. I could feel not only Katsuya's eyes, but many other pairs of eyes on me as I went. I held my head high, trying to appear out of their league. It usually worked, and would likely work this time as well. The fact that Jou claimed me very publicly the moment we came in would certainly help as well.

I made it to the bar without incident, but the eyes were still present. If there was one feeling that I hated more than anything it was the feeling of being watched.

"What can I get for you, pretty boy?" The bartender winked an eye at me, flashing his bleached teeth.

"Martini." I stated simply, probably appearing paranoid the way I was constantly watching my surroundings.

"Any particular flavor?"

"Surprise me. In fact, give me two of them." I smirked a little to myself and then lifted my eyes to stare at the bar tender, who looked a little confused. "Is there a problem?" My lips fell to a frown in order to display my agitation. I hate having to wait.

"Two? I don't think you can hold that much alcohol." He arched a brow at me while beginning the process of mixing my drinks.

I smiled to myself, "I know." There was a chance that I would get at least a little bit drunk. I could always fake being drunk if I had to. Drunks can be very vulnerable, and that would be tempting for a pervert. If Jou was going to do anything, he'd do it when I wasn't at my full mental capacity.

"Hey, check out that guy trying to pick up the blond over there." Some man said loudly, pointing his finger off towards the tables. Naturally my curiosity got the best of me and I turned to look. It was some blue-haired creep and. . . wait a minute. That's **my **blond!

"Here are your drinks, sir." The bartender slid the two glasses across the counter toward me.

"Yeah, yeah, thanks." I threw forty bucks at him and moved as quickly as possible, carefully so as to not spill my drinks, over to where Katsuya was being harassed. It sounded like I had come in towards the end of the conversation. The other man was leaning toward my puppy, his body practically sprawled across the table.

"Well I bet your boyfriend couldn't please you like I could." The offender licked his lips, pissing me off even more.

"I beg to differ." My sudden entrance startled the freak and caused him to sit straight up in his chair. I pulled another stool up and placed it as close to Jou as physically possible. "I could suck a bowling ball through a straw." I winked. What in the hell was I doing? Well yeah, I probably **was** that good, but why was I advertising it. Both men were staring at me with a look of shock on their faces. "So then," I continued, "If you're done trying to pick up my puppy, you can leave." The man didn't budge and it took everything I had not to punch him in his ugly face. "Perhaps I should put this in terms that even someone with a tiny brain like you can understand. . . **fuck off**." Needless to say, he left promptly.

"Damn. . ." Came Jounouchi's voice finally. He sounded impressed.

I sat my drinks down on the table after realizing that I was still holding them.

"I said I didn't want anything." Jou reminded me as though I had forgotten.

"Who said one of these was for you?" I raised an eyebrow, "Saves me from having to make another trip when my first one is gone, right?" Sounded logical enough to me. I couldn't exactly say 'I'm trying to get drunk to see if you'll try to screw me' now could I? I sipped out of one while watching the crowd try to dance. Hmm. . . this one had a slight citrus flavor. That's different.

"You're not going to get drunk, are you?" He sounded a little scared, and I felt somewhat guilty for concocting such a plan.

"No." I lied, then changed my answer, "Well, maybe. . ." I scrunched up my face. What if I really **did** get drunk? That could get ugly. "Hmm, take this just in case." I pulled out my cell phone and placed it in his hand, "The driver is number 3 on speed dial." I smirked, taking another drink.

"Who's number 2?" He asked.

I gave him a look that said 'duh', "Mokuba." Who else would be at the top of my list? I took another sip, this time bigger than the other two. I really did like the martinis at this place. Throwing my head back, I downed the remainder of the liquid so that I could hurry up the process. Wow, I never thought I'd be trying to get myself in the position of 'drunk boyfriend'.

"Slow down!" Katsuya yelled, grabbing my arm and pulling it away from my face. I had already finished the drink. . . and quite possibly taken a bite out of the olive. . . "Are you supposed to eat that?" He asked, shoving the full glass away from me and thinking I wouldn't notice.

"I don't think so." I admitted, wondering if it would make me sick or not. I leaned forward to grab the other one, "Give that back."

"How much alcohol can you hold?"

"Not sure. Let's find out, shall we?" I grinned, grasping the second glass.

"I don't want to find out."

"Oh come on! What's the worst thing that could happen?" I sipped at the fresh drink.

"You could shoot yourself in the head." He turned away from me quickly.

"What?" I asked, hearing the shaking in my own voice. Shoot myself in the head? Where the fuck did that come from? Had I ever said anything to him that would make him. . . the only thing that would. . . had he gone through my things when we were at my house? No, he wouldn't do that. . . would he?

"Nothing." He muttered, obviously not willing to discuss the matter further. He leaned against me. "I love you."

I held the cup away from my face and let the words sink in. "Love. . ." I said aloud. Did he really love me? I'd likely find out soon enough. "Heh, love. . ." The way the word rolled off my tongue. . . it felt so cheap. How many times had I heard that word? Countless times. I tilted my head back, downing the remainder of my martini. "Let's go dance!" I yelled, beginning my act. I took off toward the dance floor, ready to begin my mission.

The lighted dance floor was crowded, but the dancers made room for us when they spotted us approaching. Dancing really wasn't my thing, but drunks never cared about stuff like that. "Just let your body move with the music." I told Jou, but was really telling myself. I began to sway, feeling stupid for it the entire time. He just stared at me in awe like I was so wonderful. The way he always looked at me. . . with that expression.

"I can't dance." He finally told me, lowering his eyes.

"Anyone can dance." I smiled at him, all the while trying to keep up my facade. I moved my body in more sluggish motions, "Just move your body, Katsuuuuya." Wow that sounded stupid. . . and yet so perfect. "Katsuuuuya." I repeated, giggling like a freak before running away toward the bar again.

"Where are you going?!" I heard him yell, but I had no intention of turning back.

Apparently my act was a good one, for all of the guys that had left me alone before were now starting to swarm. While the bartender was hesitantly mixing another drink for me, numerous men would try to flirt with me, and of course I had to go along with it. I was starting to feel a little dizzy. . .

Three large men approached me, and I tried to glare at them, but somehow I just couldn't do it. The lights were suddenly very bright and the level of noise seemed to keep growing. I could feel hands on my face and legs and I wanted to swat them away, I wanted to yell at whoever was touching me, but my punches didn't make contact and my words refused to come. What the hell was going on?

The next thing I knew, I was on the floor leaning against the bar and watching Katsuya and some other guys beating some drunks up. I clapped my hands to cheer them on, but Katsuya looked at me like I was crazy. . . I wonder why. He made a phone call after he beat up the bad guys and kept on looking at me. Was I hurt? My stomach certainly didn't feel so great, and those lights. . . ugh.

- - -

Apparently Katsuya decided that I couldn't walk anymore and threw me over his shoulder. I didn't really mind being carried out to the limousine though because it was kind of fun. I had to close my eyes to keep from throwing up. When we got into the car, he tried to make me sit up in the seat, but I really wanted to lay down, so he let me lay across the back seat with my head in his lap.

It was so familiar. . . I remember a day when it was cool outside and the leaves were just beginning to turn colors. I was a little bit tired and wanted to lay down. . . **he** let me lay my head in his lap. I remember looking up at his face and. . . and what?

I gazed at the face that was now staring down at me. "Beautiful. . ." I whispered, reaching up and wrapping my hand around some of his pretty hair. "I like blond hair. That's why I like you so much, Satoshi. I like blond hair. Brown eyes too. Big brown eyes. I like big brown eyes like yours, Satoshi."

The face above me looked very sad and afraid, "Seto, I'm Jounouchi! I'm Jounouchi Katsuya!" I could feel his hands on my face, and that was familiar too.

I dropped my hand. He wasn't Satoshi, and we weren't outside. "Oh, that's right. You look a lot like Satoshi, Katsuya. That's why I like you Katsuya. I like Satoshi, so I like you." I smiled. Katsuya really was so beautiful. I love him. "But. . ." I closed my eyes. I was getting so tired. "I think I like you better, Katsuya. I like fools. . . I like fools like me, Katsuya. . . fools like me. . ."

The darkness that followed was so inviting, with Katsuya's face being the last vision before my slumber.

- - -

When I finally awoke my dizziness had gone away and I was lying on a bed; Jounouchi's bed. So we had made it back to his apartment alright, but had anything happened while I was asleep? I turned my head toward the door when I heard someone in that direction, a damp rag falling off of my forehead. Had Katsuya put there? He really was so thoughtful. Speaking of Katsuya, he was just about to leave the room. This was the perfect opportunity. I chuckled from my place on the bed to get his attention and then leaned up on one elbow.

"Where are you going?" I questioned, narrowing my eyes until they were half-lidded, "Aren't we going to play? Don't you want to play Katsuya?" I knew the seduction act all-too well. I laughed deliriously, still playing my role as the drunk boyfriend. I threw back my head, "Come, Katsuya, let's play a game." I sat up this time, sitting on my calves and making sure to spread my legs. I ran one hand up and down my throat while my other hand teased my thighs. "Come on, don't be shy." I knew this act like the back of my hand. It was disgusting how well I fell back into the routine. Disgusting.

I could tell how frustrated he was. He was licking his lips repeatedly and swallowing harder than usual. His hands kept curling into fists and then uncurling. He suddenly shook his head. "N-no!" He yelled, "I know that it isn't you doing this, Seto! Don't worry, I won't let myself give in to this!"

I smiled. So he passed the test. "Thanks, Katsuya." I fell back to the mattress, falling back into sleep.

* * *

I thought that I wouldn't finish it tonight, but I did! Hooray for me! By the way, the part where Seto is drunk is obviously quick and to the point. I don't know about any of you, but I've never heard of a drunk having flowery thoughts. Seto falls into a child-like state, and writing that part was actually amusing, haha! Anyways, enjoy yourselves!

I'm already working on the next chapter of **Behind Blue Eyes**, but I don't know which story will have a new chapter next. Those that check the forum will be the ones to know! Until next time, have fun! Don't forget to leave me lovely messages and reviews!


	19. Day Six: Terrifying Routine

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

Alright, it's the chapter that many of you have been waiting for; the notorious chapter where Saki finally makes his move. Naturally you all know that this website forbids strong sexual content, so there won't be any. . . on this website. However, I'll pop a little note in there telling you where to find the full chapter when the time arises!

Anyways, enjoy!

**Warning:** This chapter contains a scene that may disturb some readers. The scene is **not** sexually graphic, but contains a forced sexual situation. If this bothers you, only read up to the point where the original Behind Blue Eyes leaves off. You have been warned.

**Disclaimer:** No, I don't own Yugioh. . . doesn't that just suck?

* * *

**Recap:**

_I could tell how frustrated he was. He was licking his lips repeatedly and swallowing harder than usual. His hands kept curling into fists and then uncurling. He suddenly shook his head. "N-no!" He yelled, "I know that it isn't you doing this, Seto! Don't worry, I won't let myself give in to this!"_

_I smiled. So he passed the test. "Thanks, Katsuya." I fell back to the mattress, falling back into sleep._

- - -

It rained that night, a gentle rain that played soothing rhythms on the building and sent a feeling of absolute comfort coursing through me. . . well, the sound along with the chest I had found myself curled against.

I had awoken during the night, which really wasn't so uncommon for me. This time, however, it wasn't from a nightmare, but rather from two very warm arms that had wound their way around me, pulling me close to an equally-welcoming body. I nuzzled my face against the soft fabric in front of me without even thinking about it. I could feel a hand wander up to the back of my head, thin fingers entangling themselves amongst strands of my hair. I could lay like that for eternity.

"Beautiful." Came a voice, reminding me where I was.

"Go to sleep, Katsuya." I leaned back from him, immediately disappointed in the lack of warmth, and looked him in the eyes as best as I could, "We're going to school tomorrow." We had missed so much school already, and while that wouldn't affect me at all it would certainly hurt Jou, considering how much he struggled in school. I could help him, but I don't know if I could influence the attendance lady to make his attendance record look a little bit better. I suppose that I could always threaten her. . .

"Everyone is going to start assuming things."

Yes, they probably would. "We'll just deny everything." Came my automatic reply. What would he say?

"Everything?" He seemed puzzled.

"Yes, everything. There's nothing going on between us." Is there? At this point everything was really up for grabs.

"What? I thought that we were. . ."

So we are something? "That we were what?" My eyes accidentally opened wide in anticipation of his answer. Were we something? What were we? I'd feel ridiculous if I said it and it wasn't true, but if Katsuya said it. . .

My eyes went blank for a moment as I was suddenly shoved from my place on his bed. By the time I came back to my senses, Jou was running past me and towards the door, where he quickly turned back around to stare at me. I found myself on the floor with my legs tucked underneath myself and my hands flat on the carpet in front of me.

Before I could even utter a word he had returned to my side, seizing me by the wrists and practically tossing me onto the bed as though I were some sort of inanimate object. What was he doing? Was this really happening? No, I must have gone back to sleep and this was all some horrible nightmare. I would wake up at any moment. . . but if it was only a dream, then what was this terrible aching in my chest? Why did it hurt so much?

"Jounouchi?" I wasn't even so sure that the voice belonged to me. It sounded so small and so shaken.

No, it must not have been me, for Jounouchi didn't appear to have heard. He continued his strange and frightening activities. Before long he had my arms pinned above my head, his grip painfully tight around my wrists, and he had pried my legs apart so that he could sit between them. As his fingers danced across my skin followed by his eager lips, I didn't even have to put the pieces together. My situation was obvious and all-too familiar. I had been in this position so many times before. . . but I really couldn't remember the last time that it actually hurt, other than the assault from Saki.

"Jounouchi, why?" No, that voice simply couldn't belong to me. I could feel my body shuddering beneath him, an unwanted heat building between my legs. It always happened this way. My body always betrayed me in the end. The one I loved was about to do just as all of the other's had done. . . and he didn't even bother to look me in the eyes while he took what he wanted. Why would someone look a slut in the eye when they fucked them?

"If we are nothing, then you are nothing to me!" He leaned down to latch his lips onto my neck, a searing pain shooting from my jaw to my shoulder as he sucked hard on one particular spot. I could feel the blood rushing to the surface. He wanted to leave his own mark on my skin. I let out a groan.

"Why are we nothing?"

"Because you- what?" He sat up and finally gave me the honor of having eye contact with him. His grip on my wrists faded away.

The darkness of the room vanished as he turned on a nearby lamp.

"Why are we nothing?" The way that he suddenly stopped like that. . . it was almost as if he was. . .

"You said-"

"I said nothing. I asked what we were. I wanted to hear you say it so that I didn't risk making a fool of myself." I shut my eyes and tried not to shudder as his fingers brushed bangs out of my face. I swatted his hand away, "But I never expected an answer like this." Tears stung at the backs of my eyes, but I'd rather my eyes fall out than let him see me cry again. I couldn't handle someone like him, someone that would do something so drastic just because of a little misunderstanding. Who knew that he could be so cruel?

"I-I misunderstood."

"You misunderstood? Is this what happens when you misunderstand someone?" The heat in my eyes was soon joined by a rising heat in my cheeks and throughout my entire body. An angry heat. I narrowed my eyes, partly to show my mood and partly to help hold back the tears that threatened to fall.

"No. . . don't look at me like that, please."

I managed to sit up quickly, giving him no time to react. "You just tried to fucking ra-"

"Shut up!" He shoved me back down onto the bed and I thought for sure that he would pick up where he left off. I waited with wide eyes. "I wasn't going to. . . I would have stopped!"

"But you shouldn't have even started!"

"But I would have stopped! I would have stopped. . ." His fingers were entangling themselves in my hair, his palms smoothing over the skin of my cheeks. Warm tears spilled from his eyes and down onto my face. My own urge to cry was nearly unbearable. "Please stop crying. . ." He begged me, "Please stop."

"I'm not the one crying." I informed him and he seemed to sob even harder. What on Earth?

"You don't have to act to tough." He reassured me, tracing my lips with his thumb. Did he really have no idea that he was crying? Why was he so out of it?

"Katsuya. . . **you** are the one crying."

He lifted a hand to touch his own face in an attempt to confirm otherwise. "I'm not crying." His eyes widened slightly with realization. ". . . why?"

"Genuine." Being so sorry for his actions that he would cry without even realizing it. I had been like that at one time. That time that Satoshi's life ended. I was so sorry that I could have died. While Katsuya's motives were not clear, his heart was. Katsuya had the biggest heart of all, and the last thing he wanted was to hurt those he cared about. . . and call me a fool, but I believe very strongly that I fall into that category.

"What?" He asked, reasonably confused.

"Nothing. It's midnight, go to sleep." I turned off his bedside lamp. The dark really was beautiful.

"Sleep? Now? After I just-"

"Katsuya, I believe that I'm finally beginning to understand how your mind works. . . and that's why I've decided that this is okay."

"How my mind works?" He laughed a little, "Well can you clue me in, 'cause I'm totally lost." Leave it to the blond to crack a joke at a time like this.

I sighed, shaking my head at his little antics. I couldn't help but smile, "You're right, you wouldn't have done it. Now if you would kindly **not** sit between my legs, I could get some sleep before we have to get up for school."

He looked a little embarrassed when he noticed where he had been sitting for the entirety of our conversation, but he quickly complied with my request and lay down next to me just as he had done for the past several nights. "So then what are we, Seto?"

I thought about that for a moment, not really one for words of romance. He always seemed to come up with something cute though. "What do you want us to be?"

He started to say something, and then stopped himself. What's this? Jounouchi Katsuya was **thinking** before** speaking**? No way. . .

"Together forever."

My heart played an awkward rhythm, it's gentle beating fading against the sound of the pounding rain. I rolled onto my side to face him. "Katsuya. . ." How did he always say such perfect things?

He laughed, "That sounded so stupid, didn't it? I'm not good at saying the right things." He really had no idea how much he underestimated himself.

I snuggled up against his chest to show him the affection that I didn't have the ability to put into words. I wasn't good with words, but I could do my best to show him how I felt through my actions. "If that wasn't the right answer, then I don't know what is."

I hadn't slept so well in ages. . .

- - -

I woke up before Katsuya did and decided that it was best not to wake him. It really was peaceful when no one was talking. The blond was a lot like my little brother in that he loved to hear himself speak. The two of them were just bundles of energy, a stark contrast to myself.

I stretched a little until I heard a satisfying pop from my back and then very slowly made my way into the kitchen. The linoleum was cold against my bare feet. I had left my slippers back home.

The only sound in the air was the gentle shuffle of my feet and the bottom of my pant legs against the floor as I stepped over to the pantry, opening it and huffing a disappointed sigh. Though we had gone shopping, I didn't buy him much and that made me feel a little guilty. How long had he been without food before I came to stay with him? How long had his father been away? He may have told me several days ago, but I no longer remembered. His father was probably going to be returning soon, which would explain why he was so intent on staying at his home first. He really was ashamed.

A box of pancake mix caught my eye and I lazily pulled it from the shelf and sat it on the counter-top closest to me. A skillet and the accompanying ingredients soon joined its side. I wasn't a chef in any way, shape, or form, but I would do my best for Katsuya.

After several glances from the directions on the box to the mass of pancake on the stove in front of me, I was finally able to complete my task, though I wasn't to sure about the quality of my work. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers now can they? I flipped off the burner and used a fork to move the last pancake onto the large plate that I had piled three others on. He could have three and I could have one. I didn't normally eat much for breakfast, if I chose to eat anything at all.

The puppy. . . no, **my** puppy was still sound asleep when I returned to his room. He would certainly be disappointed to learn that he slept the entire time while I changed into my school uniform in the room with him. He was such a little pervert.

I stood beside the bed, just watching him for a little while. He was adorable. Did I ever use that word? No, not really. . . but then again I've been doing a lot of things that I would never usually do. It really was amazing. Jou really had a way of working into peoples' hearts, no matter who the owner may be.

I leaned down, laying my hand gently on his shoulder and hesitating for only a second before placing a kiss on his forehead. He let out a soft groan, but I knew that he wasn't angry. "Wake up. I made breakfast again. It's pancakes. Sorry, that's all that I can really remember how to cook for breakfast."

His eyes fluttered open, but remained half-lidded with sleep, "Good morning, gorgeous." He greeted me with a smile.

I reacted by quickly standing up straight again. I could feel my cheeks burning even though I tried to will the blush away. A smile crept to my lips, "You're so weird. Come on and get something to eat already. The last thing we need is to be late or absent again." It was true that I sometimes skipped school to go to work or sleep in, but never multiple days in a row. He was going to ruin my reputation. . . not that I really gave a damn.

"Yeah, people are going to start assuming things." A strange expression flashed across his face, "Wait, haven't we already had this conversation?"

I held a hand over my face, parting my fingers so that I could keep my eyes on him. "Yes, Katsuya. We had this same conversation last night. Now get your lazy ass up and come eat some damn pancakes." My hand fell back to my side as I turned to leave the room.

"I bet they taste like shit."

I stopped, turning back to him, "Oh really?" He just loved to pick fights. I always seemed to win though. "And just how, dare I ask, do you know what shit tastes like?"

He smirked, sitting up in bed, "What do you think an ass tastes like?"

My eyes opened wide. Did he realize what he was saying? "I'm going to regret this, but why in the hell would you know what an ass tastes like, or even **imply** that you know what an ass tastes like?"

"How would I know?" He slid from the bed, rising to his feet and sauntering up to stand within a foot of me, his smirk only growing "You mean you didn't feel it? You sure felt it while I was-"

"What?!" I yelled, my voice breaking when it hit an awkward pitch. He had. . . he had. . . no way!

"Woah, settle down! I'm just kidding!"

I was seething now, but tried to let it go. I wasn't in the mood for kicking anyone's ass at this hour of the morning. . . that is, until he reached around me and grabbed my ass.

"Last one to the kitchen doesn't get anything to eat!" He yelled before bolting down the hallway. . . and I stumbled after him.

- - -

Katsuya ate with a smile on his face which led me to two possible conclusions; Either they didn't taste like shit, or he enjoyed the taste of shit. I really couldn't decide which was correct.

It was my first day back to school since I got into it with Asuka Ayumi. She knew better than to say a word to me, and I did my part by ignoring her completely.

The class went by just like any ordinary day. That annoying woman babbled on about nonsense that I had learned years ago while all of my ignorant classmates eagerly jotted down notes in messy shorthand. I tried my best to at least look like I was listening, but the whispering around me was eating at my nerves. I could hear several students mumbling to each other and I could have sworn that either my or Jou's name came up every now and then. I turned around and glared at a few of them. They were already looking at me, a sure sign that I was the subject of their little conversation. . . which ended after a few seconds of my heavy glare. . . of course they picked up wherever they left off, the whispering more rushed now, once I faced the front again.

Towards the end of class, Asuka reminded everyone about the get-together at the pool on Saturday. Damn. Was I really going to attend? I still hadn't decided.

- - -

Second block came and went and lunch was finally upon me. I wasn't really hungry, but I had decided last night that I would try the food that Katsuya always ate. For the first time in my life, I would eat high school cafeteria food; my stomach churned at the thought.

I stepped into the cafeteria and immediately was able to spot the large mass of blonde hair (Yuugi's outlandish hair was easy to spot as well). He was already in line with his friends, probably expecting to just meet up with me at the table like he did the other day. As I approached the crew, I caught a part of their discussion.

The taller Yuugi tapped his foot, his arms crossed like he was a badass or something, "Tell us, Jounouchi, what were you and Kaiba doing all day yesterday?"

"Uh, let's see. . . Seto didn't want to go to school yesterday, so-"

"Wait," The asshole interrupted just as I snuck up to them, "**He** didn't want to go to school?" All of them studied Katsuya very intently as though searching for some sign of a fib.

"I just didn't feel like it." The group jumped a little, but my puppy just smiled. . . heh, the image of a canine Jou wagging his tail almost made me laugh out loud. "Is it a crime to skip school every now and then?"

The timid albino looked thoughtful, "Actually, I think it-"

"Shut up." I snapped, and he did as told. He really needed to grow a backbone, but I suppose that's what his look-alike was for.

"What did you do then?" Yami no Yuugi, as Katsuya called him, asked Jounouchi, not me, and yet he was staring at me. . . He was treating me like I was inferior. I didn't like that.

"We went to eat at McDonald's," I began before Katsuya had the chance to speak, "then we went shopping at the mall, then we went and hung out with Mokuba at my house, then we showered. . . then we went to a club. Heh, Jounouchi here had to borrow some of my clothes." The memory of him in my outfit was still fresh. He had looked so cute. . .

"I thought you went shopping." The taller Yuugi was significantly more irritating than the shorter one. His suspicion was getting on my last nerve.

"We did, but something came up and we weren't able to purchase what we had gone there for. Don't interrupt me." I glared at him, "Let's see. . . yes, we went to a club and. . . um. . . I'm pretty sure I got drunk, or at least a little bit. Then we ended up back at Jou's house and. . . oh yeah, he was laying me on his bed-"

"Yeah, you go dude!" Honda called out obnoxiously as he forced my blond into an unexpected high five. Pervert.

"Nothing happened, Honda." Katsuya informed him, and yet. . . he seemed a little reluctant to tell the truth. "He was drugged-"

"Drunk." I corrected before things got out of hand.

"No, there was definitely someone putting something in your drink. I saw them do it, and then you started acting funny." The line moved forward and we went with it.

"That's called a mixer, dumbass. They put flavoring in the alcohol so that it tastes better. And if you had ever been drunk, then you would act funny too."

"But you hadn't had that much to drink!"

"The less body mass a person has, the less alcohol they can hold before they get drunk, and I may be tall, but I'm far from massive." He was probably so used to seeing how much alcohol his father consumed, so I'm sure that it surprised him that I couldn't hold much.

He sighed, "Alright, you win. Either way, you were mentally impaired, so I wouldn't do anything."

His friends said nothing, they simply gave us blank stares. "Yeah, but you have no problem trying things in the dead of night while I'm trying to-"

His hands quickly clamped across my mouth, "We're at school, in front of my friends!"

I pulled his hands away. Friends ought to accept their friends no matter what the circumstance or situation. "Yeah, they're your friends, so they shouldn't have a problem with us being together, right?" I smiled despite the fact that my stomach was knotting up in a million places. Why was I so nervous saying that in front of so many people? I had to get comfortable with it eventually, I suppose. In any case, Kat-chan looked relieved. Heh, Kat-chan. . . what a cute pet name for the pup.

"Together?" Honda asked, one brow significantly higher than the other. "Jou?" He gave his friend a very concerned look. The knots tightened and I thought I'd faint.

"Don't worry about it man." Don't worry about it? Jou held up his hands and laughed nervously, "What are you doing in line with us, Kaiba?"

Kaiba? What was I doing? Was I not allowed to be near him when he was with his friends? Was I making him nervous? Was I not supposed to say anything about us to his friends? I thought. . . "You don't want me to stand in line with you? Fine. I'll just go sit down. By myself. Eating nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I didn't bring my usual lunch with me today because I thought that just maybe I'd try the school food because you said that I ate too healthy and too little. So I figured, 'hey, what could one drenched pizza hurt?' Well, obviously it can clog my arteries and cause me to have a heart attack, but if I only eat it this once, I should be okay." I sighed, my hands mysteriously finding their way to my hips.

"You're actually going to try something?" He faked a look of shock, clutching at the chest of his uniform, "It can't be! Not the great Kaiba Seto! Trying something? A change in routine?" He put the back of his free hand against his forehead, gazing dramatically upward.

I growled, but I really wanted to laugh, "Can it mutt." I ordered, folding my arms loosely across my chest, but smiling just enough for him to notice that I was only playing.

Both of us jumped a little when we noticed the albino suddenly right beside us, his hands clasped together just under his chin and a ridiculous grin spanning from ear to ear, "I knew it."

"Oh shut up!" Jou yelled, but I didn't understand what Ryou (that's his name, right?) was even claiming to know.

"You're so loud!" The communal slut scolded. . . well, maybe not a slut. I don't know many men in their right mind that would give her a thought. . . she looked around at everyone in the area as though Katsuya had embarrassed her more than she normally embarrassed herself when she opened that god-forsaken mouth of hers.

"God damn you're annoying." I shoved my pinky finger into one of my ears, closing the corresponding eye to prove my point. Hey, if they weren't going to say anything to her, I had to do it for them. The sake of my own sanity depended on her shutting the hell up. I pulled my finger out when Jounouchi started to cover his mouth to hide his laughter. I smiled at him. Always so cute.

"Oh isn't that cute." Oh, it was the freaky (freaki**er** perhaps?) albino this time, "The priest likes to make the puppy giggle." He faced Yami no Yuugi, "Remember when you used to make the priest laugh, oh great Pharaoh?" He started to cackle, but the other students refused to stare. "Oh how the mighty have fallen!" The 'Pharaoh' swung a fist at him, but he dodged it and continued laughing.

Priest? Pharaoh? It reminded me of was that Isis woman was saying. Such absolute bullshit. "Do they always do this?" I asked my partner.

"Yeah, welcome to my world." He grinned and didn't seem to mind their violent and senseless arguing.

The line was finally far up enough that we were all able to claim our crappy school food. Most of them grabbed a boxed pizza while the only female in the group bought a salad. I was tempted to get one of those instead of risking my taste buds, but Jou was quick to stop me.

"Here you go!" He chimed happily, handing me a sopping box of pizza.

"I would say 'thank you', but that wouldn't be very sincere." And it wouldn't. I held the box with my index fingers and thumbs. I could feel the slimy texture of the grease against my fingertips and it almost made me heave.

I reluctantly made the decision to sit with the entire group instead of just with Katsuya. I guess that I would have to get used to his little circle of friends. I didn't want him to shut out his friends because of me. Would he even do that? No, probably not. They were all very important to him, he had proven that often enough throughout the years.

- - -

It wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. I didn't say a whole lot, but rather just listened to the endless banter between Katsuya and his group of misfit friends. They really were misfits in my eyes. A kid with three different hair colors, an unattractive wannabe slut, an effeminate albino, a guy that had less brains than my pinky finger, and two self-proclaimed spirits. Seriously, does that sound like some all-star team to you? Didn't think so. Jou almost looked like the normal one when he was compared alongside them. He did have his own abnormal qualities though, like his loud mouth, the way he spoke before thinking at the most inconvenient moments, and his neanderthal mannerisms while eating. I picked on him throughout lunch for combinations of all of those things.

After school we met up with Yuugi's partner, Keita, and Anzu's partner, Kioko. I didn't really know much about the two of them, only what I had heard. Kioko seemed to have a goal of sleeping with more male students than any other female in the school, and Keita. . . well, no one really knew anything about him, it seemed, and that was strange enough in its own right.

Walking away from the main building and towards the first road that we needed to cross, Kioko kept trying to whore herself out to me by giggling ridiculously and unbuttoning the top of her blouse. I'm going to be honest and say that I have seen plenty of tits in my life, and aside from size they were all the same damn thing. As for trying to turn me on with cleavage? Anything that looks like an ass sticking out of the top of someone's pants will never get me going. When will people ever figure that out?

After a few rounds of me shoving her out of my personal space, Katsuya felt the need to step in between us. If he really **were **a dog, he probably would have bitten her, the way he was growling and glaring at the sight of her. Needless to say, she was no longer an issue.

"You know," Yuugi began, looking both ways as we approached the street in front of our school, "I'm glad that you're finally doing things with us, Kaiba." He turned around and flashed me that childish smile of his, nearly stepping out in front of a moving car. Jou's brunet friend, Honda, reached out and pulled him away just in time. That certainly would have been an interesting turn of events.

"Watch where you're going, Yuugi!" Jou screamed, his voice making his panic evident. His chest heaved as he held a hand over his heart as though to ease its wild beating. He glanced over at me for seemingly no particular reason, so I stared back. Did he want me to say something? What? Should I be panicking too? I was tempted to fake relief, but that would make the blond severely angry. As much as he seemed to care for me, I'm certain that his friends were significantly more important, and that's. . . that's okay. . . I guess.

The entire group reached the sidewalk on the other side. The mall, huh? Looking at all of the faces around me, I felt very out of place. I didn't belong in such a happy little group, besides, I still had a lot of work to catch up on. I made up my mind.

"You all have fun." I said suddenly, stopping just behind them.

"What?" Jou asked. I knew he wouldn't like it, but. . .

"I'm going back to your apartment, Jou. I have a lot of work to do, so you go ahead and have fun with your friends. Spend time with them. Friends are. . ." Satoshi. . . "Irreplaceable." Yes, nothing could ever replace a close friend, I knew that all-too well. "I'll see you later, Katsuya." I tried to smile, but how could I, with the sad look the blond was now giving me? I spun on my heels, walking in the opposite direction. His stupid friend said something, but I couldn't make out exactly what it was; nothing of any importance, I'm sure. Some peace and quiet would certainly be nice.

"I'd rather you stay with me today." Jou's voice was very firm and calm.

I turned to face him again. He wanted me to stay with him? I couldn't be alone? Ah, that was it. He feared that Saki would come after me and I'd be all alone. He really worried too much. "It's an apartment; no one can see which door I enter." I forced a smile to ease the situation a little, "Don't worry, just go and have fun. I'll see you when you get home, alright?" My words didn't appear to do any good, so I went back to him and laid a hand on his head, rubbing at his hair. He had wonderfully soft hair. Had I touched it before? I left again before he could turn those puppy eyes on me, and began to finally walk toward my new destination.

"Seto!" His voice called out and I stopped and turned around once more. I had always hated hearing my first name from anyone other than Mokuba, after all, it was the name that _those men_ and _that guy_ always called me by. But when Katsuya said it, my cheeks would tingle and my mouth wanted to curve up into a smile all on its own. How come it never did that for anyone else? Hadn't I been in love a couple times before? Or. . .

My thoughts were interrupted and my mind fell blank as eager lips greeted my own. I grunted in surprise, but wasn't crazy enough to pull away. Okay, so someone just kissed me in public. I suppose that I would have to get used to that. How long would such a thing last? I really wanted to get used to it. I wanted to have to live with that kind of strange embarrassment for the rest of my life.

"Be careful, okay?" He smiled, looking the short distance up into my eyes, and I returned it as best as I could. Maybe he truly cared about me just as much as he cared for his friends after all.

"I understand." I answered, leaving him once more. A part of me wanted him to stop me again just like he had the first time, but he didn't, and I was well on my way toward his apartment. The others would have more fun without me there anyways. . .

. . . A part of me longed to go with them.

- - -

I arrived back at his apartment without incident, though I must admit that I felt a frequent sensation of being followed and turned around on occasion only to discover that nothing was there. At first I had laughed at myself, amused at how ridiculous I must have appeared to a passerby, but my amusement soon faded and was replaced by a sudden onset of paranoia. Yes, Kaiba Seto was feeling paranoid. Those don't really sound right together.

So back to the fact that I made it to his apartment safely. . .

I was able to get inside using the key that I found under the doormat. What on Earth could possibly possess a person to leave a key to their home in a place where anyone could just invite themselves in and take what's inside? I understand that not everyone needs to live behind high security gates (or not-so-high security, considering the fact that someone was able to get near the house) like I do, but they could at least keep their spare keys in a safe location. . . dumbasses. . . well, all of them except for Katsuya. . . no, he had his dumbass moments too.

I put the key on the table inside after locking the front door behind me. I would have to remember to have a copy made for myself.

The apartment was completely silent except for the sound of my own heavy breathing (Okay, so I **ran** up the stairs to his apartment). The silence reminded me of my own home. It reminded me of how lonely my life really was. . . that is, until I was practically forced into this project with Katsuya. It's almost funny how things turned out with him. After vowing to never let anyone close again and after years of being a complete asshole to anyone I met, Katsuya still managed to somehow slip into my life and into my heart. . . but for how long?

I made my way to the blond's bedroom to retrieve my laptop. After tossing it unceremoniously onto the couch in the livingroom I stepped into the kitchen to brew some much-needed coffee.

My original intention was to get comfortable on the couch and drink while working on my computer, but it had been so long since I had actually had the time to just sit by myself and enjoy a nice hot cup of coffee. Sitting at the kitchen table and casually sipping at my precious source of caffeine, I was able to really study and think about my current surroundings.

Jou's living space was very modest, but it wasn't awful. I believe that I may have picked on him about it when I first arrived nearly a week ago, but in all honesty. . . It reminded me of my original home. My house hadn't been much, to look at, but it suited a small middle-class family of three well enough. I say three because once my mother went to the hospital to give birth to the fourth member, she never came home.

Mokuba was nearly a clone of my mother, save for his black hair. Mother had beautiful brown hair and magnificent violet eyes. I suppose that I still felt a little bitter about my mother's death, but my anger was never again directed at Mokuba. No, my little brother was the only reason that I had to keep living. . . well, maybe I had two reasons now.

The warmth from the cup in my hands was gone before I was able to finish. I shoved it away from myself when I suddenly recalled my initial plans. I reluctantly went back to the laptop that lay upside down and abandoned on the couch and dreaded the amount of work that certainly awaited me there.

I sat on that couch for a long while. I crossed my legs, Mokuba always told me that I did it the 'girlie way', and sat my computer on top of one leg, my fingers gliding across the keys and my eyes scanning the screen at a routine pace. Answering e-mails and solving corporate problems was practically second nature for me.

A knock came across the door and startled me, causing me to drop my laptop onto the floor. Was Katsuya home already? I glanced at my wristwatch. It wasn't even 4:30 yet, there's no way that he'd be back. . . unless he decided that he didn't want to hang out with them anymore and would much rather be here with me.

I grabbed the key that I had placed on the table earlier and went to the door, opening it with little effort. When I initially peeked outside I was greeted by silence and empty space. Mokuba had played this game with house hands and I many times before. I smiled when I noticed the shadow of a person on the wall by the stairs. He was hiding.

"I know you're there, Jounouchi." I informed him, but the shadow remained still. I pursed my lips, not really amused by these childish antics. "Aren't you going to come inside, Katsuya?" I figured that using his given name would lure him to me, but still there was no movement from the shadow. A part of me wondered if the shadow was just a figment of my imagination. "Alright then, mutt, suit yourself."

I had shut the door and made it about halfway back in the direction of my computer when I realized that I had forgotten to lock the door. I about-faced immediately. Even if Katsuya was out there, he had his own key and I didn't want to take any risks by leaving the door unlocked.

I stopped probably five feet from the doorway, but it felt more like five inches. I wouldn't be locking the door today. . . maybe not any other day either.

The door was gone now, invisible against the wall. In its place stood the one that had likely been knocking, the shadow in the stairwell.

"Don't you remember what I told you about leaving your door unlocked, Seto-koi?" I was frozen in place as he moved toward me, his body pressing against my own until I found my back flat against the wall. My hands and arms remained stiff at my sides. "It's an invitation for thieves and predators to come inside and **take** what they wish."

I tried to think of something to shoot back at him, anything at all, but my mind drew a blank. All I could do was stare up into those ominous grey eyes and await his next move. I remember a time when his eyes looked silver to me, but it was probably just another illusion that my childish mind had created.

"No bold reply?" He tilted his head a little and then smirked, his eyes narrowing further. "You aren't so brave without your little attack dog here, are you?"

"H-he's here. He's j-just in the. . . the bathroom." I managed to lie even with the lump in my throat making it more difficult than it already was. The fact that I was stuttering didn't matter.

He frowned at me suddenly, "That's a load of bullshit, Seto, and you know it. If he was here, you wouldn't have called out **his** name when I knocked on the door. He isn't here at all. He's out having fun and you stayed behind. It's likely to be dark before he gets back." His eyes trailed over me, his smirk returning. I had to keep stalling.

"H-how did you-"

"How did I know? I'm a good guesser." His hands found their way to my own, his long fingers massaging my skin and wrists. "Besides, even if he were to return soon," his right hand left me for a moment so that he could reach something that was. . . in his back pocket perhaps? "I've got a little something to guarantee that he doesn't interfere." He waved a small handgun in my face; I'd seen it once before. "It can also be used to persuade **you**, my love, but somehow I don't believe that I'll need to use such drastic measures on you. You're such a good little boy, after all." The gun was returned to it's hiding place.

"I'm not a little boy anymore, S-s-"

"Go ahead, say my name. It's been so long since I've heard your beautiful voice speak my name, Seto." He nuzzled my neck, his hands pinning my wrists to the wall behind me. I said nothing and he pulled away. "That's okay, Seto, you don't have to say it now; You'll be screaming it soon enough."

My eyes opened wider than they had ever been, "Wha-"

The Devil took advantage of my shock and my open mouth as he crushed his lips against my own, his tongue venturing where it didn't belong. He slid my arms up along the wall until he held them crossed above my head with only one of his hands.

By the time he pulled away, it felt as though he had sucked every ounce of life out of my body. I found myself gasping for oxygen.

"That good, huh?" He smiled a fake and frightening smile, "A kiss so wonderful that it simply took your breath away."

Escape. I had to escape. I had to get away from him by any means possible. What had I been taught, and what had worked with others in the past? Closing my eyes, it was easier to think. It was almost as if seeing him caused my mind to shut down and my body to become unresponsive. What had worked in the past. . .

"Why are you closing your eyes, my love? Am I so handsome that you can't even bear to look at me?" I could feel his free hand on my chin, his fingers just as soft as I remembered.

"I've missed you." Came my own voice, and yet it wasn't mine. Would he believe it? Would he fall for this trick? "I've missed your touch." I opened my eyes halfway and looked up into his; the confusion I found there was unmistakable.

"Seto, you **do** realize that I was the one that taught you that trick, right?" He raised a brow at me, and I felt so stupid. "Please don't continue to play that game; I'd much rather have you kicking and screaming."

Kicking and. . . screaming! The door, he left it open! "You want me to scream?" I questioned, unable to stop my own smile from appearing, thought it probably looked insane. "Alright, I'll scream for you." As I took in a deep breath, he looked completely lost, and only after I began to scream out 'help!' at the height of my lungs did he realize his mistake.

"God dammit, Seto!" I was released immediately as he spun around to slam the door shut. I imagine that he probably locked it with the key that I had left in the deadbolt, but I couldn't say for sure, as I was already running in the opposite direction.

Yes, I was trapped in the apartment. It wasn't like I could just jump out a window and be able to run away from it. I was cornered, but someone had to have heard me. Someone would hear that and call the cops, or call Jou. Yes, Jou was probably already getting a bad feeling and telling everyone that he needed to go home.

I fled down the only hallway in the place and ran into the first room; Jou's father's bedroom. I could hear the quick rhythm of him following close behind at a quick pace, and so just as I got inside, I spun around and grabbed the door, yanking it with as much speed and force as possible to close it. . . but it stopped one small inch too short. The full weight of another body was pressing against the other side, a body that was larger and more powerful than my own. My heavy breathing made my chest ache.

"How many years have you known me, Kaiba Seto?" The tone of his voice had changed drastically, his words dripping with a thick poison. "I met you when you were fourteen. It's been four years, Seto, and yet you suddenly think you can overpower me. I believe that I proved that to be false two years ago." Though I knew that I was no match for him, I still pushed against the door, unwilling to go down without a fight. "Look, my little beauty, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. You can either be a good boy and let me in, or I can force my way in and beat the shit out of you for disobeying me." He let out a laugh that caused my entire body to tremble. "Then again, I may just do that last bit for the fun of it. Don't worry, though; I'll make sure not to ruin that pretty face of yours. I love your face, Seto. I love the look that was on it when I fucked you the last time. Make an even better face this time, okay?"

My eyes scanned the room frantically. I knew what his intentions were all along, but I had still been holding on to some shred of hope that he was only here to harass me and nothing else. Now that he had spoken his intentions, it really hit home. I was going to have to go through the same thing that I had two years ago. Could I do it all over again?

The window. It was all the way across the room, but it was my last hope to call for help. If I could just get to the window, open it, and scream out for help, then surely someone would hear me and do something. Surely Katsuya was on his way.

"_Seto. I promise- no, I __**swear**__ to you; I will never, under any circumstance, let that bastard hurt you ever again. . . I won't let Saki touch you, I won't let anyone from school touch you either, or anyone at the mall or at the grocery store or on the street or at your own company! No one will touch you, no one will kiss you, no one will follow you. . . and absolutely __**no one**__ will rape you."_

Heh. . .

"_. . . and absolutely __**no one**__ will rape you."_

Why do people always lie to me? No, I knew from the beginning that such a promise was impossible to keep. He couldn't control what happened to me. Jounouchi Katsuya has such a big heart, that he would promise me the stars in the sky if he knew it would put me at ease. I think that at one point I had compared him to Saki. I could kill myself for ever thinking that. I had been comparing night and day.

Heaving a ragged and nervous sigh, I jumped back from the door in a hurry, causing him to stumble inside, a surprised expression on his face. I flew to the window, my fingers clumsy on the locks. "Come on, open!" I pulled at the glass, but to no avail. I was grabbed from behind by two strong hands; one over my mouth and the other clutching tightly onto my stomach as I was dragged backwards and away from the window.

I was screaming into the palm of his hand, and I don't even think I was yelling coherent words anymore, not that it mattered. No one could hear me, no one would come, no one would help. I wasn't trapped, I couldn't be trapped. It couldn't happen again. I wasn't going to give up.

"Shut the fuck up! Why do you keep trying to call for help? Don't you realize that no one is coming?!" He lifted me off of the floor and I kicked my legs wildly. . . that is, until he dug his fingers into my stomach enough to make me stop. "There was only one person that ever came to your rescue, Seto. Oh wait," He rested his head on my shoulder, his mouth dangerously close to my left ear, "There were two, but you **killed** one of them. Do you remember who the other hero was, Seto-koi?"

My eyes stung like hell. I could feel the lump in my throat expand and it almost felt as though I couldn't breathe. Maybe if this went on long enough I'd simply die. No, I couldn't die for the same reason that I couldn't die two years ago. Mokuba. Mokuba and now Katsuya as well. . . but did they truly need me around?

"Tell me, Seto! Who was it that always came running to your side when you needed someone?!" His hand slipped down from my mouth and found it's way around my neck, applying only a small amount of pressure. "Who?!"

"You." I forced out, warm tears coming with the confession.

"That's right. Do you remember when you first told me that you loved me? Do you remember that, Seto? Those big beautiful blue eyes were watered over just like they are now, and your lips trembled. You were so nervous and so shy about confessing your innocent love to me. It almost broke my heart to take you the way that I did. . .almost. I just love you so much Seto, I just couldn't go without completely having you for myself. I had to **have** you." He pulled the collar of my school jacket until it parted. "I was always there for you. You became so dependent on me. Didn't you love the way I used to caress your cheeks, your stomach, your thighs. . ."

"Stop it!" I heard myself scream, my right leg swinging back and connecting with his weak spot.

He crumpled to the floor and I took the opportunity to escape from the bedroom, my eyes locked on the front door. So close to freedom, and yet it felt like the hallway was getting longer and the living room was growing larger.

A hand caught my wrist and pulled me until I nearly fell, but I shook it free and used the living room table to catch my fall. He was on one side and I was on the other. I was finally able to get a good look at him in this state. . . and it was absolutely terrifying.

Saki usually had a very calm and collected demeanor. Now, however, his hair was in disarray, his stance was awkward, his eyes were a wild size, his teeth were clinched together, and his whole body heaved with his seething anger.

"You think you're safe because you're on the other side of a fucking table?!" He grabbed the table on his end and made quick work of tossing it carelessly aside, "Now what? Where's your little safe haven? When I fucking get ahold of you-"

I spun on my heels and went towards the door yet again, only to find myself unable to unlock the door. My hands were too shaky to get the key and doorknob to turn properly. Why of all times? My hands, which usually held such precision when at work, were now failing me at the most crucial moment.

His body pressed against mine from behind, and I could feel his excitement, which was painfully obvious. "Now I've got you, my sweet doll." He shoved a leg between the two of mine and rubbed his knee upward. . . and that's when my body began to betray me. It always went like this when I was younger. No matter how much I didn't want it, my body did, and they always took it as a sign that I was enjoying myself. My mind screamed no and my body screamed yes. I simply couldn't win against it. He backed away suddenly, "Come on now, baby."

My hands fought with the lock again until he grabbed both of my arms, pulling me back roughly. I let out a yelp when a sharp pain shot through my shoulders and back. "Let go of me!"

He spun me around and shoved me against the nearest wall, "What in the hell makes you think that I would listen to a little bitch like you?" He shook me against the wall to emphasize his control. "All of those times that I tried to make love to you and you refused me, I let you. As much as it frustrated me to stop halfway, I left you alone, I gave you what you wanted." He ran a hand along my cheek and I turned my face away from his touch. "You have always been an ungrateful bitch!" My face stung horribly as the back of his hand connected with my left cheek. I gritted my teeth so as not to give him the satisfaction of hearing me scream. "I gave you so much and you never gave me anything, so I had to just **take it**! It's your own damn fault that you got raped!"

My fault? My own fault that grown men took advantage of me when I was only a teenager, an orphan? Perhaps it was, after all, I should have done something about it. I was so concerned with giving my brother the life he deserved, that I kind of forgot about my own well-being. Even so. . .

"Pretty things are so rare and precious in this world, Seto. People love to protect pretty things. . . but only out of their own greed for the possession of such a valuable object. Humans love rare things. Humans are greedy." He craned his neck, licking at my jaw line.

I shivered, the feeling bringing back distant memories that I'd rather leave forgotten. "Why are you doing this to me?"

He leveled his face with my own, our noses nearly touching, a smile playing on his lips while his eyes laughed at me, "Because you're absolutely beautiful, and because I love you more than anything in this world."

"You're a liar!" I spat in his face and he slapped me again, this time on the other side.

"You wouldn't know whether I was lying or not! You're so god damned gullible! You believed for several years that I was going to protect you from everything, and now look at the situation you're in! You'd probably believe anyone that told you they loved you!" His glare was far more intense than mine could ever be.

"There **are** people that truly love me in this world." Despite my tears, I felt stronger suddenly, "There are people that care about me, and you aren't one of them!"

"Oh?" He questioned, one arm finding its way around my waist, "Then where are all of those people? Where are they when you need them most?" He smiled when I was unable to answer him, "Face it, Seto, you're just as lonely as you were when I met you. You're just a broken doll with no one to play with you." He nipped at my bottom lip, "Don't worry, love. I'll play with you for eternity."

"Over my dead body!" I jerked my head away, his teeth scraping my lip a little.

His grin was creepy, "That might be fun." He licked his lips.

I tried to knee him in the crotch again, but he caught my leg as it came up and pulled on it, bringing me down into a broken heap on the floor. He then proceeded to drag me to whatever his chosen destination was.

It really must have looked ridiculous as he dragged me by my legs, obviously enjoying my predicament, as he didn't even bother to lift me from the floor. I grabbed onto anything that I could get my fingers around, moving the couch and pulling up the cushions in the process. . . but in the end it was all useless. He pulled me back into Jou's father's bedroom, and I knew that it was here that he would do his work.

After years of going through with this night after night, I had finally become free after I murdered Gozaburo. But no, after such a long time of freedom, Saki appeared once more to fuck up the life that I had created for myself. Was I not allowed to be happy? Was I not allowed to be in love with anyone? "Why?" I felt stupid for asking him that. I could feel my tears soaking the collar of my uniform jacket, but that didn't matter. Nothing mattered much anymore. My shaking body, my burning eyes, my coughing and sobbing. None of it mattered, and it only seemed to make him all the more satisfied to see me in such a condition.

"Why? Because you're fucking gorgeous." He hauled me up from the floor and I flailed my arms and legs wildly, trying to get in any punch or kick that I could manage. "Stop it, **now**! Do you want your new pet to die?!"

My entire form fell lifeless. My pet? Katsuya? "Don't even **think** about touching Katsuya!"

"If you don't want to come home to the lifeless body of your little boyfriend, then I'd suggest you'd be a good little boy and do as I say." He hurled me onto the bed, immediately straddling my waist so that I couldn't get up.

"You wouldn't do something like that." I told him, though I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince.

He leaned dangerously close to my face, "Would you like to test that theory?"

I squeezed my eyes shut. Anything, so long as Katsuya would be alright. I would do anything for those that I love most. "Don't touch him." Helpless. I was completely and utterly helpless, and this time there would be no knight in shining armor coming to my rescue. . . and yet a part of me still waited for Katsuya to come running into the room. . . that part of me was beginning to fade.

"Well look at this! Someone has excellent taste." I could hear the clanging of metal against wood. "Whoever this is already has handcuffs on the posts of the headboard. Must be into the kinky stuff, eh?" He grinned down at me. "Don't you remember the good old days when you were constantly chained up like this?" The cold metal against my skin was so familiar that it made me feel sick to my stomach.

All of those years ago I had been able to drown out a lot of what was being done to me. It had become a routine of feelings, of touches and kisses. . . of pain.

My mind went blank as I recalled those nights. This was too familiar for me. I remembered it all too well, and as Kitamori Saki began his work, the routine poured into my mind.

Different faces, all hidden by shadows, they all laughed at me, laughed at my blank stare and my 'faithful' servitude toward my 'master'. It was always the same. . . but somehow Saki managed to make it more painful than they ever could.

Feather-light kisses on my skin followed by painful bites all across my body. My jacket and shirt were ripped away, his nimble fingers making quick work of the zipper on my pants. Cuffed and pinned, I was once again at the mercy of another.

Kissing, biting, sucking. All on my flesh, my neck, anywhere that his lips could reach.

"I was going to pleasure you too," He felt the need to tell me, "But since you were such a bad boy earlier, it's all about me today."

- - -

A/N: Due to graphic content, this scene can only be found through the link on my profile. Sorry for the inconvenience.

- - -

"You shouldn't have struggled, my love." A finger traced one of my wrists, pain searing through my entire arm. He put the finger to his mouth, licking the blood that was there. Blood? From me? When had I been struggling? Routine. I often struggled. I wanted to fight, but it was always futile. Always. I never escaped. I can never escape.

The demon slipped away, fumbling with something on the dresser in the room. "I'm going to leave a little treat for your mutt, Seto-koi. If he wants the key to your handcuffs. . ." He pulled out what looked like a wallet and removed something from within, laying it on the dresser, ". . . tell him that it's over here." He laughed to himself, leaned back over me. "Until then, you can just stay right here like the beautiful angel that you are. Too bad you're tainted."

Tainted.

He crushed his lips against my own, ending the kiss as quickly as it had begun, "I love you."

The person that I had once loved more than anyone else. . . Kitamori Saki. Was that love? Did love mean giving up your entire being to that other person, regardless of what you really want? No matter how much he hurt me, there was still a part of me that wanted to believe in him. . .

. . . and that is probably what hurt the most.

Jounouchi Katsuya, will you be the same way some day? Will you also expect more from me than I am willing to give? Katsuya. . . will you just become another Saki?

My world went black with the scent of my own blood engulfing my senses.

* * *

Damn! I tried so hard not to rush that, but it still feels really rushed. Upon request, I was asked not to make it very graphic, and that's a good thing. As important as that scene is to the plot, it isn't a happy thing or a good thing, so it shouldn't be described in graphic detail. Hope you all like it a lot more than I did! Until next time. . . rate, review, and join my forum! 


	20. Day Six: Where Are You?

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

Don't forget to visit the **Behind Blue Eyes Forum**! The link is on my profile.

Alright you guys. During this chapter, Seto is **not** mentally there, so this is bound to get very confusing if you don't read it along with the original chapter, okay? Just warning you ahead of time.

I should update more than once every five months. . . don't you all agree? (My apologies!)

Enjoy!

**Notes:** Things that either happened in the past or are illusions will be written in _italics_.

**Disclaimer: **Yu-Gi-Oh belongs to Kazuki Takahashi. . . k?

* * *

**Recap:**

_Jounouchi Katsuya, will you be the same way some day? Will you also expect more from me than I am willing to give? Katsuya. . . will you just become another Saki?_

_My world went black with the scent of my own blood engulfing my senses._

**- - -**

"Seto!"

The name, my name, rang in my ears. . . but was it real?I listened, but heard nothing. Here in the dark, there was nothing. The sound of someone calling my name was too good to be true. My eyes wouldn't open, couldn't open. Or perhaps they **were** open and I was simply blind. Would that really matter? I wouldn't ever have to see my hideous body, my hideous face, ever again. I had been blind all of my life, really, falling for fake identities and false promises. Child genius my ass.

Where was this? Where was I now? It felt almost like. . . a bed?

**Oh**. . .

My eyes opened instantly (so they had been closed after all), and the light overhead came on.

He was still here. Why did he turn the light on? So he could get a better look at his work? Look at me. Look at this beautiful disaster, this elegant waste of life. Look at the wonderful Kaiba Seto now. Only Saki could make me feel this way. Only him.

Footsteps approached and I wanted to close my eyes again. If I can't see him, then maybe he'll disappear into thin air, like the monsters I hid from as a small child. If you can't see them, they can't see you, right? No. Lies, all lies. Why are children always lied to? Are they deserving of that? Ignorance. I'd give anything to be ignorant again.

"Seto."

My name again. The voice was a whisper with no identity, but I wasn't going to play a fool this time. There was only one person here with me. The one that I longed for never came. . . but there was still a chance, right?

"Seto!"

Stop it. Stop screaming at me. I can hear you, and I don't ever want to hear you again. Why, after so long, have you come back? The ghost of my past. . . why is it still haunting me, even now? I wanted to yell back, but my mouth apparently knew better than to obey me. My body always seemed to go against my wishes. Even now, all that I can do is lie down and take it like the slut that I am. Like the whore that I was trained to be.

The bed shook suddenly, loud creaks accompanying this new movement. Rough hands latched onto my shoulders, shaking me roughly. Again? He wanted more? Not again. I'd die if I had to do this again. I can't. . . I can't. . .

"Seto! Seto! It's me, Katsuya!"

Liar! Fucking liar! Using that name. I knew better. If Katsuya were here, this wouldn't have happened to me. I'd be okay. Katsuya never came. . . Katsuya. . . I knew Katsuya's voice well enough. The voice that I heard now was so distorted and strange.

"Look at me!Look at me!"

My body finally gave in, my head falling to the side. A foggy shape greeted my eyes. Was that a person? Why was everything so out of focus? Saki was right there. He was still here after all.

"Kat-su-ya. . ." I think Saki said something then, probably trying to shut me up. I had to keep resisting, even now. "Katsuya will come home. He'll find you here."

Were my words even audible? I could hardly hear them. That voice didn't belong to me. It sounded so tired, so pained. Pain. . . my whole body felt numb with it.

He didn't say a word this time, his phantom-like form frozen in place. Was it working?

"He told me that he would never let you touch me again, not you or anyone else. He doesn't break promises like you did, Saki." I smiled, but who was I trying to convince? Jou doesn't break his promises. . . he didn't. Katsuya didn't lie. "Where are you Katsuya?" I could feel something warm against my face. I wasn't allowed to cry, but I just couldn't help it. Saki would hurt me for crying. "Where are you?" Why wasn't Katsuya coming? It had been an eternity since he went out with his friends. Did he leave me forever? Or what if. . . what if he came home and Saki killed him?

"Snap out of it, Seto! Please wake up! I'm sorry! This is all my fault! I'm so sorry!"

Wake. . . up?

I could feel my arms being violently tugged on, pain searing through my wrists as though I was being stabbed by a thousand knives again and again. I wanted to call out, to scream. . . but that's what they always wanted most. I wouldn't give in. . . not this time.

"Seto, please, I want to help you. I couldn't stop this from happening, but please let me help you through this!"

Saki. . . why do you think that I would fall for those lies again? That's what you always said when the others would hurt me. . . when you were only buying time until **you** could have a turn.

Hands fell to my cheeks, and the fingers were surprisingly soft and gentle. . . it was familiar somehow. The entire room felt warmer.

"Seto, do you know where he put the key to those handcuffs?"

Saki? No, couldn't be. . . this person, this angel, wanted to get rid of the handcuffs?It simply couldn't be Saki, but the voice remained unfamiliar, the face invisible to my eyes. A real angel then? Or perhaps this was all some long and hopeless dream. . .

I turned my head to the other direction, where I last remember Saki setting something down. Surely if he had placed the key anywhere, it was over there. Had he said something about a key? My memory failed me. . . and for that, I was truly thankful.

The bed shook lightly as the extra weight left. Silence ensued, followed by a random outburst of something along the lines of "I hate him! I fucking hate him!" Hate him? Hate who? I could certainly make a long list of men that I hated. Where could I possibly begin?

There was a bit more tugging at my arms, until I felt them fall carelessly to the pillow beneath my head.

"Seto, I'm going to take care of you, okay?"

Take care. . . of me. . .

"_Seto, I'm going to take care of you, okay?"_

"_Take care of me?"_

"_Yeah. I've seen the way that your adoptive father treats you. It's disgusting, Seto. Don't even pretend that it doesn't bother you."_

"_Of course it bothers me." I sat on the edge of my bed, my legs looking thinner than I remembered. "It's not like I can do much about it. Even if I report it, that bastard will find some way to dig himself out of any mess that I create for him, and then there will be hell to pay on my end. . . or worse, he would hurt Mokuba."_

"_Which is why I'm going to take care of you, Seto." Saki smiled. His teeth were so white and so beautiful. His smile seemed to light up the entire world. The way his silver eyes reflected the sun made them appear to be glowing. He really was like someone from a fantasy novel. I loved novels. Saki was my white knight, I guess. . . _

"_From this day onward, I will always protect you, Seto-koi."_

From this day onward, huh? Lies. . . all lies. . .

I could no longer feel the bed beneath me, but rather a cold floor. The light here was much brighter, and there was a faint sound of running water. Perhaps it was simply my hearing that was faint. Was this a bathroom? How did I get here? No matter how many times I was to be bathed, it was still impossible to make me clean. My entire body was permanently stained. . . stained by the filth of this world.

My eyes slid shut with a will of their own, and I didn't have the mind to open them.

"_It's alright now, I'm here for you. Just close your eyes, Seto. There now, that's a good boy. Shh. . ."_

_I was crushed as much against his chest as I physically could be, my whole body shaking with sobbing and coughing. The tears soaked into his shirt, which I held fisted in both hands, but he didn't mind. He only smiled down at me with that loving smile of his. There was a look of sadness in his eyes, though._

"_I c-can't d-do this an-n-nymore, S-saki!" I felt so pathetic choking out words through sobs, but Saki never saw me as pathetic. He always made me feel better. Always._

"_If anyone ever tries to hurt you, I will be there for you."_

"_Do you promise?" My small voice was muffled against his shirt._

"_I promise."_

Promise. . . what exactly was a promise? Didn't a promise mean that the one who made it had to stick to their word no matter what? At least, that's what I had always been told that it meant. I suppose that even **I** can be wrong sometimes. . .

"_I won't let Saki touch you, I won't let anyone from school touch you either, or anyone at the mall or at the grocery store or on the street or at your own company! No one will touch you, no one will kiss you, no one will follow you. . . and absolutely __**no one**__ will rape you."_

Tch. Promises, promises. Everyone loves to make promises. Even I had made my own promises. Jounouchi Katsuya. . . he had made promises as well, but could he keep them? Clearly not. Who had ever kept their promise to me?

"_Since you promised that you'd never leave me, I promise that I'll never leave you either, big brother!"_

Mokuba. Mokuba has always been the one person that was closest to me, but how close is he really? He doesn't know much, as far as I know, and I never actually planned to tell him anything about what happened when we lived under Gozaburo's rule. The one person that could keep a promise to me, and I was keeping secrets from him. Some big brother I am.

"_You're the best big brother ever!" "I love you, big brother!"_

Every time he said those words to me I would cringe. I'm not the best, I'm far from it, probably closer to the worst. Love me? Why? What have I ever done to deserve the love of anybody? What is one good quality that I have that I can say is worthy of love?

"_You have a nice body."_

No.

"_You have a nice ass."_

**No**.

"_You have so much money!"_

**No!**

"_No need to thank me. That smile is worth it. . . you know."_

My smile is. . . worth it?

"_Saki was right when he said you were pretty when you cry, but. . . you're __**beautiful**__ when you smile."_

Jounouchi. . . So many times he had said kind things to me. Had they been significant then? I couldn't really remember, and yet now they stand out so clearly. Beautiful when I smile. My smile is worth it. My. . . happiness?

"Kat. . . su. . . ya. . ." I could feel some kind of warmth surrounding me, but I didn't care to discover its identity. A voice called out to me, but the words were foreign. . . yet the tone was familiar. It was the last lingering bit of consciousness that I could recall. . . for the first time in a while, I felt at peace.

- - -

"Oh my God! Kaiba!"

I woke to the sound of my own surname, but my eyes refused to open. In fact, my entire body remained useless to me. Who was the owner of that voice? It was annoyingly familiar. . . it wasn't Jou. Where was I? Had he taken me somewhere? No one could find out about this! I could faintly feel and even hear my own heart pounding in my chest. Thump, thump, thump, a heavy vibration ringing in my head, throughout my body. I felt so weak, like I wanted to go to sleep again.

More words, this time inaudible above my own heart. The pounding grew louder and I began to feel a little sick. How many people were around me now? It seemed like several, but I couldn't be so sure. . .

"_How many people was it this time, Seto?" His beautiful silver eyes peered right through me. Why would he ask? It seemed that he always knew the answers anyhow. Why did he want to hear the words from me?_

_I turned my attention to my hands, which were clasped together in my lap, my legs swinging back and forth nervously as I sat on the edge of my own bed._

"_Come on Seto; you can tell me anything." Saki was so persistent. _

"_I can't tell you a number when I don't even know."_

"_You can't even guess?" He seemed a little taken aback. _

"_I couldn't see them." The thought made me feel so ashamed. My enemy took advantage of me and I was blind to the entire event. The story of my life, really. I was there to be taken advantage of. Disgusting little whore._

"_Couldn't see them?" He didn't even try to force a pitiful smile, but rather simply turned my face up with a hand on my chin. "Well, you can see me, right?"_

_What kind of question was that? "Of course I can see you. . ." It hurt so much to see him. Why did he care so much about me? Just looking into his eyes, I felt that he might just disappear._

"_Well, you will always be able to see me. Whenever you want to see me, I'll be there. I promise. . ."_

Promises, promises. No more promises.

". . . If anyone takes care of Seto, it's me."

Takes care of me? Who? That voice sounded like. . .

"Jounouchi, Kaiba is a strong young man,"

Strong? They're all so gullible, aren't they?

"he doesn't need someone sitting by his bedside until he wakes up."

Do I need it? Perhaps not. . . but it would be wonderful to wake up to a kind, reassuring face. I miss that from when Mokuba used to be afraid of the dark. . . it's painful to wake up alone.

There was more shouting from. . . Jounouchi? I only caught bits and pieces. I could feel my mind fading fast. I know, however, that the word wrong was said a couple times. . . I also heard the phrase 'Seto needs', which is also correct. I **do** need. I need a lot more than anyone thinks. . . a lot more than **I** think.

Silence followed the long outburst and the wait seemed like an eternity. The darkness behind my eyelids almost looked like it was spinning and I could feel my heartbeat slow drastically. The voices picked up again, but were very hushed, each different tone melting into the other until I couldn't even make out individual syllables anymore.

Jou wanted to take care of me. Why did he want to take care of me?

_Why did he care about me so much?_

No. Jou was certainly different. Back when Katsuya and I used to fight all the time, I could tell that he had a very big heart. The way that he spoke to his friends, the lengths that he went to to protect those that he loved. . . his heart was bursting with genuine kindness. With such a personality. . . he must hurt when others hurt too.

I could feel my body physically jerk as I mentally flenched at the though. Was I causing Katsuya emotional pain? If only he didn't care about me. . . then he wouldn't have to hurt like I do.

If only he didn't care about me. . .

* * *

Um. . . so yeah. That was the chapter. What do I dare say? Merry belated Christmas? Happy belated New Year? Happy belated Easter, Saint Patricks Day, and Memorial Day? Honestly. . . it has been **way** too long since I last updated. But you all are probably used to my severe procrastination by now, right? . . . is anyone even reading this anymore, or has everyone given up on me? For those of you that are left, thank you so much for hanging in there! You certainly haven't left my thoughts!


	21. Day Seven: Used To It

_**Behind Blue Eye: Seto's Story**_

* * *

Wow, my last message up here for chapter 21 of BBE said that I was going to college orientation. I'm finishing up my sophomore year of college now. I really am the slowest writer that I know.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own it, k? (the show I mean, not the story)

* * *

**Recap:**

_Back when Katsuya and I used to fight all the time, I could tell that he had a very big heart. The way that he spoke to his friends, the lengths that he went to to protect those that he loved. . . his heart was bursting with genuine kindness. With such a personality. . . he must hurt when others hurt too._

_I could feel my body physically jerk as I mentally flinched at the thought. Was I causing Katsuya emotional pain? If only he didn't care about me. . . then he wouldn't have to hurt like I do._

_If only he didn't care about me. . ._

- - -

I awoke to a relatively distressed sound, which naturally caught my attention. As I opened my eyes slowly, squinting a bit from the (morning?) sun, I saw Jounouchi lying on the floor, his hands gripping his sheet as he stared up at me without so much as blinking. Why did he always stare at me? Why did he like me so much?

I turned to the ceiling, unable to look at him any longer.

The sheets felt different against me, like I could feel them more than I normally could. Had he changed them? I slipped my hands beneath the sheets to feel the fabric . . . when I realized that there was nothing between the sheets and my own skin. I opened my eyes wide with realization. Oh yeah . . . those events yesterday weren't just a nightmare, they were my reality. They were the reality that I had lived with for so many years. Was it all about to begin again?

"I uh, there's a reason for that." Jounouchi sat up, laughing nervously while trying to explain my lack of clothing. "You see, something happened yesterday and-"

"Every day." I corrected him. This 'thing' happened every day when I was younger. If it hurt me, did it hurt Katsuya too? It would be best if he didn't care about me. If he didn't care, he couldn't hurt.

"What? What do you mean 'every day'?"

"This 'something' that you won't name; it happens every day." I couldn't look at him. What if he looked sad? What if he had a look of . . . pity?

"No, it doesn't happen every day. As far as I remember you telling me, it hasn't happened in a long time."

I sat up quickly, facing him. The sheets slid down to my waist. "It happens every day. Every single day. Now and forever. Every day." I glared at him, even though it hurt to do so. I had to make him stop caring. Make him dislike me. Make him stop hurting for me.

"But Seto-"

"It's 'Kaiba' to you! Don't act like we're so close!" Make him hate me. "I don't want to get close to you or anyone else!" Hate me. "Why can't you all just leave me the Hell alone?!"

The look on his face almost made me flinch, but I stood my ground. I went through years of training to show no emotion, regardless of how much my heart ordered me to do so. I could do this.

He just sat there staring at me as if he had seen a ghost. Had my plan worked? Had I really upset him?

"Why are you staring? Is it because I'm naked? Does that turn you on, you sick mutt? I bet it does, fucking pervert." What if it really **did** turn him on? What if all along this entire thing was just an act to get close to me? Yeah, that must have been it. He is no different than any of the rest, right? Right.

He turned away, a defeated look on his face, "No, it doesn't."

I couldn't stay in that room any longer with him looking like that. I couldn't let down my defenses ever again. This whole mess was a result of me letting my guard down.

"_Emotions are a weakness, Seto! If you are to ever inherit Kaiba Corporation someday, you have to show me that you can be ruthless!"_

Yeah Gozaburo, I know.

I stood from his bed and quickly wrapped a sheet around my waist. I had to wash myself off. I felt absolutely filthy. Even so, I knew very well that water wouldn't wash away a feeling like this. It was a feeling that embedded itself within my very existence and could never be scrubbed away.

"Where are you going?" I could faintly hear Katsuya call out as I headed for the bathroom.

That's when a wall of odor hit me like a ton of bricks. I had barely stepped foot into the bathroom when I saw the source.

"What the hell?!"

The tub was filled with murky red water. Red water. From me? Had Katsuya washed me? My arms were already bandaged . . . Katsuya . . . why weren't you there, Katsuya?

Something hit me in the back and I began to stumble forward, only to be caught by a strong pair of hands. For a moment I had thought that maybe I'd fall into that sea of red and be sucked in, lost in the color of my life.

"Come on, Seto," A voice from behind me urged, "Let's get you into some clean clothes, okay?"

"I need a . . . I'm filthy. A bath. The water is . . ." I couldn't even hear myself think anymore. What the hell was I saying? Why was I getting so worked up over something I had seen so many times before? I could feel the lump in my throat dissipate at I swallowed slowly. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?" The voice wrapped his arms around my waist. I knew that voice, I knew those arms. Katsuya.

"For dragging you into this." I couldn't make him hate me, no matter how hard I tried. Katsuya had a big heart and he had already taken me into it. "I thought that all of this was over when I killed Gozaburo . . . but look at what happened." I tightened my lips as an alternative to the burning sensation that threatened my eyes. No more tears. No more.

"Well I guess there's only one solution then."

A solution? "What would that be?" I glanced over my shoulder, finally able to see him. There was a slight smile tugging at his lips.

"We have to get rid of Saki . . . by any means necessary."

By any means. . .

I spun around and jerked out of his arms, ready to talk him out of it . . . when I realized that all of my glory was showing. I yanked the sheet off of the floor and covered myself. "Are you saying I should kill him? I promised myself that I would never kill anyone ever again! I've killed too many people in my life!" Shit. Had I ever really told him about what happened with Satoshi? I was starting to act like Katsuya now, speaking before thinking.

"Woah, woah, wait just a minute. You say that you've killed too many people? How many would that be, Kaiba?"

The sound of my surname hurt a bit. "So you're back to calling me Kaiba now?"

He looked at me as though I was speaking a foreign language, before ignoring my question completely and correcting himself, "How many people have you killed, Seto?"

"Can I get some clothes? I'm freezing." He seems to have a relatively short attention span. If I just bring up another subject . . .

I'm sure that anyone could imagine how shocked I was when Jou grabbed me by the shoulders and shoved me against the nearest wall, screaming "Seto! Stop fucking around! How many?! Tell me!"

Of course, he must have immediately regretted his actions, because his next words were a hushed whisper of "Please tell me."

Okay, so that kind of topic wouldn't distract him . . . perhaps I would take a more emotional approach. "You're so rough when you get frustrated or angry. Is that a result of the way your father treats you?"

Bingo. His eyes widened a bit and he stepped away from me. Our eyes were locked and I was thankful for my height advantage. "Stop it! This has nothing to do with me!" Damn. I thought that I had him!

Though I thought that he was going to try to squeeze an answer out of me again, he startled me by gently cupping my face with his hands. "You always try to turn me away from the question or situation at hand, and I've allowed you to get away with it for far too long." He was smiling sweetly, but I couldn't help but narrow my eyes. He continued, "Please, no more dancing around things. I want to help you, but I can't do it without your cooperation. When you can answer **my** questions, I'll answer yours." He pulled away and went toward his bedroom. "Come on and let's get you into some clean clothes, okay?"

I followed quietly behind him. He knew that I was dodging questions all along? He was certainly smarter than he made himself out to be. And what he said . . . unfortunately he was right. How could I expect him to answer my questions when I refused to answer any of his? When had he become so clever?

The telephone rang the moment we passed through the doorway. Jou grabbed it and sat on his bed while I wandered in wearing my makeshift skirt. I sat, much to my own torture, next to my suitcases to make my outfit choice of the day. I couldn't help but wonder who had called.

As I stepped into my boxers and pants, I easily eavesdropped on Jou's side of the conversation.

"Jounouchi residence." Heh, he sounded so official. "Yes." I could hear the woman on the other end carrying on about something. "Oh, hello Ms. Arashi." Katsuya shot me a look.

I took that as a sign to rescue him and so I went to his side and snatched the phone out of his hands, "Kaiba Seto speaking."

"Ah yes, Mr. Kaiba. This is Ms. Arashi at Domino High School and our attendance records show that you and Katsuya didn't go to school today."

No shit. That's why I answered Katsuya's **house** phone. "Very good observation. You're right, we aren't in school today."

"Well Mr. Kaiba, this is the second time this week that the two of you have been absent."

"Correct again, this **is** the second time this week. You see, some important things have come up and-"

"Important things? Mr. Kaiba, nothing is more important for a young man than school." Did she seriously just interrupt me? Even the morons that work for me know better than to do that.

"Actually, I can think of a shitload of things that are more important to me than school, like watching paint dry, for example."

"Mr. Kaiba! If you skip school you will fall behind in your studies and your grades will begin to drop! If you're grades get low enough-"

"Listen, woman, you and I both know that I will **not** get behind in my studies and my grades will **not** drop, and I shall see to it that the same goes for Katsuya. Have a pleasant day." I slammed the phone back onto its cradle. Stupid bitch. Nothing more important than school? Please. If only she knew.

"Harsh." The blond commented from his place on the bed.

"I guess . . ." I don't really think it was so harsh. To say that nothing was more important? She had no idea what I had been through. I sat on the floor by Jou's feet. "It feels like . . . a nightmare."

"What?"

"Yesterday, what happened with . . ." I could feel my body shake as though a cold chill had suddenly run through me. "It just doesn't seem real. This kind of thing happened a lot when I was younger, and I cried almost every time, but now . . . I don't know if I care." I stared at the floor in shame, but it was true. All of those times that I would constantly relive those events in my own mind . . . and now it finally happened in reality and it just seems like another hallucination, like it had never actually happened. The only proof I have are the bandages on my arms and the pain in my . . .

"Shut up!"

Jounouchi's sudden outburst made me a jump a little, "What?"

"You **do** care, Seto! It's because you care so much that he was able to hurt you! It's because he hurt you that you decided to close yourself off from the world! It's because you closed yourself off that you don't feel the things that he is doing to you! What you truly need is someone that cares **back**! You need someone to hug you every now and then, someone to tell you how beautiful you are every day, someone to tell you it's okay to cry, someone to show you that love has nothing to do with sex-"

"So you're telling me that I need **you**." The things that I need. The someone that I need. Was it really Katsuya? He certainly fit the bill, and for some reason my heart didn't seem to mind the idea.

"Me?"

Was he really so surprised? "Yes. Other than Satoshi and Saki, you are the only person that I have ever confided in. The difference is, you're still alive." Still alive.

"But Saki is still-"

"Alive? No. My Saki died two years ago. This Saki is just some monster that looks like him. The only one left for me . . . is you." I couldn't help but smile. Was this my answer? Would I really be happy with Katsuya? Something about him was so different than all of the others that had claimed to love me.

"It was my fault."

The sound of his voice shook me from my own little world, "What was your fault?"

"What happened." He refused to look at me.

He couldn't have been serious! Of course it wasn't his fault that Saki did what he did! "Why on Earth would you say that?" I must admit that it pissed me off to hear him blame himself for someone else's actions.

"I promised you that I would protect you from him. In the end, I couldn't fulfill my word."

Now it was my turn to turn away. "I'll admit . . . while I was lying beneath him . . . while I was fighting against restraints that I, that I knew I couldn't break . . . I kept telling myself that you would come and get him off of me, that you would uncuff me and take me away from all of that." Though I tried so hard, I couldn't help but give in to the incessant stinging in my eyes. The warmth of my own tears was far from comforting. I smiled through them, "I kept telling Saki that you would be home any minute to destroy his filthy life . . . but when he had finally begun, and you hadn't come . . ." I forced myself to face him, no longer smiling. "I reminded myself that you're only human, and humans are far from perfect."

When had Katsuya begun to cry? Did I make him do that?

"You were hoping for me to come like I promised, but I never did."

"Actually, Katsuya, you promised to protect me and never let Saki do _that_ to me again. Well, you protect me when you're with me, and you have never **let** him do anything. You couldn't have possibly known that he would show up. So really . . . you have kept your promise all along, Katsuya. I was just hoping for a miracle. Miracles don't tend to frequent my life."

He held his arms out to me and for a moment I wasn't exactly sure what he was wanting before I realized that he had been telling me all along. He wanted **me**. I moved closer to him and we embraced each other, crying softly together . . . and then I started laughing. Why? Perhaps because I was in the most ridiculous situation that I have ever been in my entire life.

"What?" Katsuya released me and wiped at his eyes.

"Look at us." I wiped away my own tears and let out another chuckle. "We used to always be at each others' throats making childish insults . . . and now here we are, having a soap opera moment . . . and I'm half naked." And yes, me being half naked just made it that much more hilarious.

"Yes, that you are." He finally stopped sniveling, "Hey Seto, turn your back toward me and lean up against the bed." He flashed a strange smile.

"But w-" I stopped myself from questioning his motives. I had to trust him. I closed my eyes and turned around, scooting all the way up against the bed.

Jou proceeded to put one leg down on either side of me, which was pretty weird. I had only a moment to ponder this action because he soon leaned down and crossed his arms over my chest, our faces cheek-to-cheek.

"I love you." He whispered, rocking us from side to side.

I smiled and laughed again, leaning back. "It's weird. Never in a million years could I have foreseen an event like this between the two of us." I lifted my right hand and ran it along Katsuya's arms to make sure that they were really there. "It's . . . nice." Dreams are often beautiful, but how often did such things happen in reality?

"Yeah, it is."

I tried to ignore the fact that he was clearly sniffing my hair. Actually, I didn't really mind that he was doing it at all, as long as he stayed with me. He could do anything, as long as he stayed. I felt my grip tighten around one of his wrists, "If you were to ever betray me, I'd die."

"You know that I would never betray you, but even if I did, you are strong enough that you would move on from me and-"

Was he trying to imply that it was possible for him to betray me? "I would die." I loosened my grip, having realized that I might be hurting him, "I'm letting you in even after I swore to myself that I would never let anyone close to me again. If you make me regret this decision . . . I will die, whether it be by natural cause or otherwise."

Before I could quite register what was happening, I was pulled closer as Jou screamed "Don't say that!" and began kissing my neck and shoulder.

"W-what?" I was really questioning his actions more than his words. Every time I mentioned hurting myself, he panicked. As awful as this sounds, it made me feel better about myself, knowing that it bothered him so much.

His lips brushed against my ear, "If you keep talking like that, then _**I**_ will die."

"We could die together." I suggested, the wistful tone in my voice practically impossible for me to disguise. I really was beginning to sound like a hopeless romantic.

"I'd rather us **live** together."

I instinctively pulled his arms further against my chest, smiling a faint smile that I was sure he couldn't see, "Yeah, me too."

Sitting there together with him was very peaceful. His arms never left me. It was too bad that eventually he would let go.

"_If you were to ever betray me, I'd die."_

I most certainly would. If he betrayed me, it would be like Saki all over again. I had never thought that Saki would be the one to hurt me the most. I had idolized him. Every time I saw him my heart would start beating wildly. Saki was my white knight when everything else was dark. In the end, he was my final boss.

I slid my fingers along Jou's trail of kisses. Saki had once kissed me like that too . . .

"You're welcome."

Katsuya's voice knocked me from my memories and I leaned back to playfully glare up at him. "Even when I'm about to slip into memory, you always find something to say that will bring me back." He really did. Some of the things that he says are so funny . . .

"What?" His curious puppy look faded when he laughed a little, "And you always manage to say something that throws me off."

"Awww," I stared down at his hands, mustering up the most fake sad girlfriend voice possible, "I don't want to throw you off, I like it when you're-"

"On top of you?"

""That's **not** what I was going to say!" I smacked his legs with the backs of my hands, more angry that I couldn't hide my blush than at what he had said. Okay, okay, so that **was **what I was going to say, but I had stopped short because I realized how bad it would have sounded. Damn perverted mutt.

"I know," He informed me as he rubbed his hands in my hair. Did he have an obsession with my hair or something? He soon stood up and stepped over me, going across the room. "I was just messing with you." He smiled at me over his shoulder as he yanked open a dresser drawer.

So he was going to get dressed. "You're not going to wear some worn-out outfit again, are you?" I gave him a disgusted look. I was half playing and half serious. Why did he dress like he lived in a slum sometimes? I would have to fix up his wardrobe some day. I bet he'd look good in some nice slacks, maybe a nice button-down shirt . . .

"What's that supposed to mean?" He faced me with his hands on his hips, a cocked brow, and his lips all scrunched up. He looked cute.

"It means you dress like a filthy mutt." I finally got up from the floor, smirking and folding my arms like I always did. Yeah, this felt much more normal than what we were doing earlier. Not that what we were doing earlier couldn't **become **normal.

"I've never seen a mutt wear clothes before, mister genius; they run around naked." He grinned at me, thinking that he had made some great comeback.

"That's funny, I have **yet** to see you running around naked." My hands flew up to cover my mouth, but it was too late for that. Damn that mutt! He always tricked me into saying the most embarrassing things! I felt like I would spontaneously combust from all of the burning that was going on in my face.

"I can fix that whenever you want." The blond winked at me, going back to his task.

"Didn't you go shopping with your friends the other day?" I inquired, averting my eyes to other things while he changed. A black shirt and khaki shorts? Ah, no, I wasn't looking! I was look at his um, lamp. Man, he sure took a long time to take his shirt off . . . not looking! Damn it . . .

"I did . . . Actually, I got something for you that you would look amazing in."

I faced him as he mentioned this, but then turned away quickly when I realized that he had yet to put a shirt on. He had a nice torso. . . "Something for me? I'm afraid to find out what it is." What could he have possibly got for me? Something that I would look amazing in? I really didn't want to know.

"It's a swimsuit!" He called out through the fabric of his shirt as he tugged it down over his head.

"Now I **really** don't want to see it." I'm sure that whatever swimsuit he bought was skimpy beyond belief.

I wandered over to my things on the floor and sat down beside them to pick out an outfit of my own.

"Hey Seto?"

Don't look, don't look. "Yeah?" I held up a shirt to draw my attention away from him. Burgundy? Why in the hell did I even own something so hideous?

"Would you um . . . If I pick an outfit from my own wardrobe for you to wear, would you wear it?"

I lowered the shirt into my lap. Should I laugh? Was he seriously? "That depends. What kind of get-up did you have in mind?" Now he just sounded like a giddy girlfriend . . . not that I would know what that sounded like.

"Uh, well, uh . . . I guess something like what I have one, but with a blue shirt." He tugged at the bottom of his t-shirt.

He wanted us to wear the same thing? Isn't that a bit . . . oh, I don't know, weird? "Shouldn't I wear a different type of shorts or something?" Anything? The idea of me in a t-shirt and shorts was strange enough.

He cringed, "No matter how I imagine it, you just wouldn't look right in blue jeans."

I couldn't help but smile. It was true that I never wore blue jeans. I've always been more of a dress pants kind of guy. Even before my parents passed away they would always dress me in nice clothes. I guess I've never looked good in jeans. "Alright, hand 'em over." I did my best to ignore the pain in my rear as I got to my feet, arms outstretched for the outfit that he had concocted.

In my arms he piled knee-length khaki shorts, a blue t-shirt . . . and a black belt. A belt? "What's that for?" I asked, setting the items down on his bed before making quick work of the pants that I had previously wriggled into. I halted my movements for a moment when I realized that the blond in the room wasn't responding. Glancing over my shoulder, I caught him staring blankly at me. "Jounouchi!" I yelled, and he snapped out of whatever creepy daydream he might have been having. "I said 'what's that for?'"

"It's for you to wear since you're thin as a rail. We're close to the same height, but I'm slightly bigger in the waist than you are."

I eyed the shorts he had given me. They were probably big enough that . . .

I let out an amused laugh, "Watch this." Without putting them on, I zipped and buttoned the front of the shorts and then proceeded to slide them on before reaching for the belt. Some of my own pants at home were the same size and I used to make Mokuba laugh when he was younger by doing the same performance. I kind of miss those moments with Mokuba . . .

"I told you that you're skinny as hell!"

"I guess so." I admitted, fastening the belt buckles and then attempting to pull the shirt over my head. How long had it been since I had worn a shirt that didn't button down? Oh yeah, Battle City . . . I had a hard time with that shirt too. I tensed up a bit when I felt an extra pair of hands helping me pull the shirt over my head and down my back and chest. There was a little extra contact than was necessary, but I had to remember that this was Katsuya and no one else.

Katsuya. Just Katsuya.

I made a face, "These clothes feel weird." They felt so light and airy, like I wasn't really wearing much at all. Not to mention the fact that my arms and legs were showing. Oh, my arms . . .

"That's because they don't stick to your body like your usual wardrobe does."

I aimed a punch at his shoulder and a kick at his crotch, but he manage to dodge the both of them.

"Aw, I'm just joking!" He yelled before taking off down the hallway. I snatched a pillow from his bed and chased after him.

I saw him standing still just at the entrance to the living room, "If you stop running I'll beat the hell out of you!" I held the pillow high above my head, ready to attack, when he spun around and pulled me tight against his chest, causing me to drop my weapon. "That's cheating!" I tried to get away, but his grip was unusually strong. "Let go!" Why was he holding me so tightly? Why wasn't he laughing playfully like he ought to be? Why did he stop right before the . . . the living room.

"You can't beat me if I defeat you first!" He said suddenly, grinning.

I went along with it, "There's no way that you can- ahh!" Before I could prepare for it, Jou picked me up and carried me back to his room, laying me on his bed and kneeling down beside it. I laughed the whole way, though the location in which he placed me made me a little uneasy.

"You're good." I praised him. "It's so funny the things that you'll do to keep me from seeing what I already know is there."

He looked a bit disappointed, "I figured that it would upset you . . ."

"It would have . . . a few years ago. It's like I said before. This has happened to me so many times in my life, countless times . . . and so even though it still hurts, I just can't cry. Why cry over something that has become almost a regular event in my life?"

"Shut up!" He leaned over me and pulled me against him again, a motion that was still awkward for me, "Please don't say that anymore! You aren't an object to be used like that! You're human, Seto! There's no way that you could be used to that kind of thing! You shouldn't even be in the situation that would **cause** you to get used to it!" H brought our faces dangerously close, "You're with me now, and things are going to be different. I hope you don't have anything against being treated like a jewel, because to me you're absolutely priceless."

The look in his eyes was borderline terrifying, and yet it was so warm to me. He always managed to say something that sounded absolutely perfect. He may not have book smarts, but he was great with people and he was constantly proving that to me.

So show me, Katsuya. Show me that things will be different now. Show me that this isn't a dream, but that it is reality.

Show me that you aren't just another Saki.

* * *

Alright! Hope that you all are having a wonderful Easter! If you don't celebrate Easter, then I hope that you are having a wonderful Spring and an even better year to come! Let's all hope that this writing kick lasts me a while, okay? Thank you for reading! Please don't forget to leave a review!


	22. Day Seven: Mean It

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

Ah yes, another chapter from yours truly. Some people prefer this story, and some people don't even know that it exists. I'm happy to have those of you that **do** read this story! Please enjoy another installment!

**Disclaimer**: Yugioh equals not mine. Story equals MIIIINE!

* * *

**Recap:**

_So show me, Katsuya. Show me that things will be different now. Show me that this isn't a dream, but that it is reality. _

_Show me that you aren't just another Saki._

- - -

I winced a little as I sat down at the kitchen table. I tried to ignore the dull pain coming from my rear and my arms. I had almost forgotten what it had felt like to have these wounds. I never really thought that I'd ever have to experience them again, but I suppose that I should stop assuming things.

I sighed as I drummed my fingers lightly on the wooden surface, my eyes wandering around the room. It was certainly smaller than I was used to, even smaller than the faint memories I have of my original home. Jou certainly lived modestly. I felt a hint of pity, but shook away the thought as I sighed once more. I didn't want pity, so why would he? He was a strong-minded person, after all.

Speaking of the blond, he was standing over the stove trying to cook again. He seemed to get easily distracted and he also seemed to daydream quite a bit. That comes with his personality, though. I guess that I daydreamed a lot too. I thought about things a lot. I suppose that the both of us have very busy minds.

As if he could feel my eyes burning holes into his back, he glanced back at me over his shoulder.

"Don't burn the eggs again." I teased, "I'd rather not go out today." That was actually the truth. Today just wasn't a good day to be going anywhere. I felt like I could just lie down and sleep through an entire week.

"I'm sure you wouldn't."

I pursed my lips at his comment as he turned back to the stove. What kind of thing was that to say? Did he not even catch my teasing? Was something bothering him?

"I won't burn them again." He insisted, trying to pry an egg off of the skillet with his spatula. It didn't look as though it was working too well.

"What's that smell then?" I smirked and fanned my face as the scent of burnt food reached my nostrils. Yep. He was easily distracted.

"It's your upper lip."

I hadn't realized that I was talking to Mokuba. "Is that so? I suppose it smells because I've been kissing a dog." Sometimes I was so clever that I amused myself. What could he possibly throw back at that one?

He flipped the burner off, moving the skillet to a cool one. "Oh? So you're into beastiality now, huh?" He faced me, leaning against the oven door. The smirk on his face wasn't quite a match for my own. "What kind of dog do you prefer?" He questioned, looking mighty proud of himself.

"Golden Retriever." Yeah, I bet he didn't see that one coming.

My fun came to an end when a sudden sharp pain seared through one of my wrists. It wasn't like I was moving them around a lot or anything. I eyed the bandages. I looked absolutely pathetic. This whole time I have been nothing but pathetic.

"Do they hurt?" He sounded concerned, which kind of annoyed me.

"Yes. It hurts more than I remember. It almost feels like I used a jagged-edged knife to cut them or something." Well that probably wasn't the best way to describe it around someone like Jou, but that's really what it felt like. The cuts weren't very clean. Had I really been fighting my bonds that much? The memory was growing more and more faint, not that I was going to complain about it.

"You've slit your wrists before?" Damn, I knew I shouldn't have used that kind of example. Jou slammed his hands down on the table as he rushed over, causing me to jump a little in my seat. . . which hurt, of course. I closed my eyes, but he wasn't going to take silence for an answer. "Seto-"

"Yes." I opened my eyes, but I couldn't bring myself to look him in the face. "Yes I have." I had to be honest with him right? If I wanted to know more about him, he needed to know more about me. We needed to trust each other. We needed to be able to tell each other anything . . . but was I really ready for something like that?

I clasped my hands together on the table in front of me, my fingers curling and uncurling. I never really paid much attention, but I have nervous tics when I'm uncertain about something . . . and that's rare.

Or was it? I had been so uncertain about so much lately, just as I had in the past. The bandages on my arms . . . that, too, had happened in the past. I had been bound like that before, I had struggled before, and I had been hurt before. I had hurt _myself_ before. How pathetic is that? How pathetic am I? 'The great Kaiba Seto'? Shut the fuck up.

This warm feeling against my cheek. Why now? Why this again? How was it that I could hold them back all these years and now they came without warning? Had my training been for naught? What a waste. What a waste of all of those years, of all of that suffering. What a waste I am. How weak. How _pathetic_.

"Why? Ever since I came here with you, I have cried so much when I hadn't cried in years." Was I really talking to Katsuya, or myself? What was _really_ to blame for this? My own weakness, of course. Blaming others . . . that's a new low.

"I'm sorry."

He's sorry? No, he couldn't be . . . no, he really is. "Why are you sorry?" I lifted my head, though I hadn't realized that I had lowered it, and let him see my pathetic face. I bet that he didn't think it was pathetic at all. I couldn't help but smile. "I think that this is okay. It's been so long since I've felt comfortable enough around someone to cry around them. This is me, Katsuya . . . this is **me**." Yes, me. This is how I was before all of that training. So maybe it's not that the training wore off . . . maybe it's more like Gozaburo wore off.

"But why me?" I frowned at him. What did he mean by that? "I mean," He corrected, "Why, of all people, would you choose a stupid guy like me?" He pulled a chair around the table to sit beside me rather than across from me.

I began wiping at my eyes upon realizing that I must have looked ridiculous, but he gently pulled my hands from my face and put them down on the table, his own hands resting on top of them . . . which made my cheeks burn up. "Well, I chose you because in many ways you are a lot like me." I eyed his hands on top of my own. I liked them there like that.

"Like you?"

I eyed his face, "Yes. While there are many obvious differences in our appearance, upbringing, and level of intelligence," I smirked and suck out my tongue, receiving a mock-glare in return, "There are also many similarities, most of which have something to do with our personalities."

"What's so similar about our personalities?" His thumbs rubbed at the backs of my hands and I did my best not to look down at them, "I'm a nice guy and you're an asshole." He grinned and I shook my head. I tried not to smile, but I must admit that the corners of my mouth turned upward just a little.

"We both hide our family lives, or lack thereof, with fake personalities."

His eyes instantly darted to the table, "I don't do that."

I figured that he would deny it. "Well that's a load of bullshit. At school you play the role of a carefree, mindless high school student that does nothing but hang out and breeze through life." I paused for a moment, but he didn't have anything to say to that, so I went on, "That isn't you. I used to think that was all you were; some punk-ass slacker that was going nowhere in life." This made him look up at me. "But that isn't you." I went on, "It's the persona that you have created for yourself. You aren't stupid; you're much more intelligent than you give yourself credit for. You aren't a slacker; you just lack the proper motivation to try. You aren't carefree; your mind is likely running constantly with unsolved problems, both at home and elsewhere."

His eyes had drifted back down to the table at some point during my ranting. There was a long moment of silence in which I watched him and he watched our hands. I slid mine out from underneath his and rested them on top this time, mimicking his kind gesture from earlier.

"Am I right?" His only response was to turn away and try to pull away his hands, but I held them tightly, "I must be right." I felt sad, but I had known the answer all along. He didn't want people to see the real Jounouchi Katsuya. Maybe he felt like I did. Maybe he felt pathetic, like me.

"I could get away from you. You already know that I'm stronger than you." His eyes trailed back to our hands, but he didn't look so pleased.

"You may be **physically **stronger, yes, however **I** have the stronger will." I wouldn't let go of him, not ever.

His eyes narrowed slightly and I could barely see the corners of his lips twitching upward into a kind of smirk.

"Katsuya?"

"The stronger will to die maybe."

I watched him turn a worried expression to me through my own wide eyes. The stronger will to die? I closed my eyes to focus and pulled my hands away from his, "The stronger will to die, huh?" No, there was no explanation for what he said. Could he have been threatening me? That just didn't make much sense. I opened my eyes to glare at him, "What, dare I ask, has caused you to say something like that?" Judging from the look on his face, he regretted saying it, but what made him do it in the first place?

"When you were in the shower back at your house the other day . . . I sat down on your bed and was just kind of looking around, and my curiosity got the best of me . . ."

My room? Looking around? There were so many things in there . . . dear God, what could he have seen?

"I looked in your night stand drawer just to see what you had in there."

In my night stand I had a . . .

"I was surprised at first to see a gun in there, but with the greeting I had received at your door when I first arrived, the shock was quick to pass. Even so, I had to wonder if the gun was there for your protection . . . or for something else."

For my protection. Protection from myself.

"Due to the recent knowledge that I had gained about you, I decided to explore further. I reached all the way back into the drawer only to discover that a small, folded-up sheet of paper was safely tucked away back there." He pulled my hands back onto the table and laced our fingers together, our hands palm-to-palm. "My heart felt like it would pound right out of my chest."

Just as my heart feels now.

"I kept wondering what it could possibly be, but that was only in hopes that it wasn't truly what my mind told me it was."

No, no, no. Hadn't I destroyed that? It couldn't have possibly been . . .

"I contemplated not reading it, but decided against that; I had to know what it contained. Seto . . ."

Don't say it. I don't want to hear it. Don't tell me how pathetic I am. Don't tell me that. Don't upset me only to comfort me. Don't do it again.

Saki . . .

"_You're trapped, Seto. You're trapped in this cruel cycle. What will you do?"_

"_There's nothing that I can do, Saki!"_

"_That's why I'm here, Seto. I'll always be here to comfort you. You can always count on me."_

I could feel him pull me against his body, a body that was growing more familiar to me.

"_I'll always be here to comfort you."_

I've done this before. I've played this game before. I shoved his chest hard as a hand ran along my back.

"S-Seto?"

"All you fuckers ever want is sex!"

"_You have sex with all of those men, so why not me?" He had a hurt look in his eyes._

"_I don't like it, Saki. You said you would wait forever, didn't you?" _

_His eyes didn't look silver anymore . . . they looked grey. "I never said I'd wait __**forever**__. You know that I love you, but I'd really like to show you."_

"_Saki?"_

Words. Nothing but words leaving his mouth. What was he saying? Lies, I'm sure. Always lies. "Shut the fuck up, you damned pervert! I'm not new to this; I know how your kind works! You act so sweet and helpful as you pretend to comfort me, then you think I need a hug so that I can break down and be at your mercy! Once you have my defenses down, you decide that I need to lie down and get some rest; and **that** is when you make your move. The next thing I know, I'm stripped and bound to bedposts like some kind of fucking **whore**!" I jumped from my seat despite the pain in my backside, and grabbed him by the arms, yanking him upright. I wasn't going to be tricked, not again, "All of you say those words to me! I've heard them so much! I love you, I love you, I love you! I could say it to anyone on this fucking Earth and not even bat an eye! Those words lost their meaning the day that Yagami Seto died!"

"_I love you, Seto. I'll always love you."_

No, no you don't, but . . . there is someone that can say those words . . . and I can hear the meaning in them. There is someone that can say those words and make my heart beat just a little faster.

I fell to my knees, not caring how loud my pathetic sobbing grew, "Why?"

He kneeled down, but didn't dare to do more than that.

"Why is it that those words only mean something when **you** say them? Why is it that I could say them to anyone, but my heart races when I say them to **you**?" I looked the short distance up into those deep brown eyes. I had upset him. "How is it that even after I vowed never to let anyone get close ever again, you were still able to break through the wall that I created?" I could barely even hear my own voice now.

"Seto . . ." My name sounded so nice coming from his lips as he pulled me close to him, burying my head in his chest. "I still get the same feeling as you when I say those words, but it's a wonderful feeling. It means that saying 'I love you' isn't automatic, but rather it has feelings behind it. I don't ever want those words to feel like part of a routine. I'm sure that we can both agree that there is nothing routine about our relationship." He held me at arms-length, cupping my face in his hands. His hands felt so warm. "Seto, I love you. No matter who you are, no matter what you do, no matter what you say; I love you." With that, he pulled me close again . . . and I totally lost it.

"I l-love you too, Katsuya!" It wasn't even my own voice anymore as I choked out words in between heavy sobbing, "Please, promise me that you'll never leave me! Promise me that you'll never betray me!" I sounded like a lonely child, but you know what? At that moment, I didn't care. Jounouchi didn't car, so why should I? He didn't say that I sounded pathetic.

"I promise you, Seto, that my love for you is absolutely genuine. I will never go away from you, and I'd sooner die than do anything against you."

"And I'd sooner take my own life than bear either of those." He held me away once again to look at me. He probably didn't like what I was saying, but I really wanted to get it out, "I have been through so much pain, so much sorrow, and so much heartache . . . Katsuya, Saki can hurt me again and again until the end of time and I will keep on living . . ." Was that a lie? "But if **you** hurt me just like he has even **one** time, I will surely die." I couldn't go through that again. I've never felt as awful as I did when Saki betrayed me. Not when my mother died, not when my father died, not the first time I was raped . . . nothing was as heartbreaking.

To my surprise, he actually smiled, "Then I suppose that you'll just have to live forever. Do you think that you can put up with me forever?"

Forever, huh? "I'd be happy to give it a shot."

There was a low grumbling noise followed by a long stretch of silence. My eyes flashed to his stomach instantly as I followed the noise. "Hungry?"

"Yeah." He admitted, looking a bit embarrassed.

"Well we should have eaten by now . . ." I glanced back at that stove. Oh yeah, we were still in the kitchen. "But your stupid ass burnt the food again." I folded my arms, teasing him like always.

He smirked and I knew he had something up his sleeve, "Hey now, I know that my ass is hot and all, but it most certainly did **not** burn the food."

"Oh, touché, Katsuya!" That really was a good one, but I wasn't about to let him have the last word. "How wonderful! The puppy has learned a new trick from its master!"

"Does the puppy get a treat for his performance?"

Damn. Well, maybe he could win . . . just this once. "He certainly does." I closed my eyes and leaned in toward him to give what I assumed he wanted as a treat. A kiss, right?

My lips felt like they were on fire as he leaned in to close the gap between us. Every time seemed like the first time, and there was still something strange about it. I wouldn't tell him that, though. Something felt . . . wrong about it . . .

We separated after some time, my mouth still tingling from the contact.

"I love you."

"Do you?" Damn. The response just kind of came out. What kind of thing was that to say? The proper response was 'I love you too', right? Could I say it as easily as him?

"I do . . ." His brows knit together as he tried to see through my eyes and into my mind. I'd never let him know what I was thinking.

"I love you." He repeated. Wasn't once enough? Those words. I don't know how to properly react to those words. I don't understand them, other than the definition. What is love really?

Looking to the floor, I rose to my feet and heaved a long sigh. I wasn't going to win this one, and the awkward silence was sure to kill me. I turned to leave the room, but was caught from behind. Jounouchi snaked his arms around me, trapping my own arms as he did so. He nuzzled my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

"I love you." A third time. How many times was he going to say that? Was he trying to force a response out of me? I just couldn't say it back. Did I really love him? I think I do, but . . . is that really good enough? What if I just break his heart in the end? Then what? I had told him before that I loved him, but . . . now that I was really thinking about it . . .

"And you shouldn't." I informed him, shuddering again as I felt lips against the skin of my neck.

"Please don't start that again. We've been around that so many times. I love you, and once I find a way to prove that, I will. Until then, I'll just show you as much affection towards you as I can."

"Prove it?" I pursed my lips. "How can someone prove something like love?" An emotion that is not shown through something like shivering or tears. An emotion not expressed through furrowed brows or cheerful smiles. How does one prove that they are really in love?

"I guess that I probably can't. All that I can do is be me, Seto. I may not be much, but that's all that I have." He released me, probably crestfallen since I shot down his idea. He was such a dreamer.

"Then why say you'll do something that is impossible?"

"Because. . . because I wish so much that I could do those things! I know that you would be happy if I could do those impossible things. You're right, I can't do the wonderful things that I keep promising you. I don't have money or a fancy car or a fancy house. I'm not all that popular or good looking and I'm far from charismatic or charming."

I faced him at these words. I wanted to tell him that he didn't need those things in order to fulfill promises, and even the rich couldn't fulfill the impossible . . . but he wasn't about to let me interrupt.

He continued, "But . . . even though I don't have any of those things, I have a heart. If there is one thing that I have ever been complimented on, it's the fact that I have a really big heart. I care about the people that are close to me in my life, and I would do anything for those people. I wasn't conditioned to say the words 'I love you' without any meaning behind them!"

"Conditioned . . ."

"_I love you, I love you, I love you . . ." Those annoying words were being whispered in my ear again. The words were strung together between loud panting and brutish grunting. His voice was out of rhythm with his thrusts . . . why was he even talking?_

"_I love you, I love you . . ." Yeah, you all do. All of you seem to love me while you're fucking me. You love what you're doing to me, perhaps. _

"_I love you." The words left my own lips, requested to say that line to so many of those filthy men. "I love you." I sounded so pathetic, so weak . . . almost robotic._

Robotic . . . didn't Anzu once try to lecture me about only having my computers and no one else? How amusing . . . why am I even thinking about that?

"I'm sorry, but you know that it's true. Seto, I want those words to mean as much to you as they mean to me."

"They **do** have meaning." I could feel myself glaring at him. They did. They **did** have meaning. Maybe not when those men said it, or when I said it during those times . . . and probably not even when Saki said it, but . . . "They have meaning only when you and Mokuba say them." I turned away, "Just understand that right now, it's so hard to say." I put my hands in front of me, rubbing them together so that he wouldn't see them shaking.

"Are you cold?"

Damn. "A little." I lied, "I don't feel so great." I stared at my hands, wanting to curse them for betraying me and making me lie to Katsuya.

"Are we going to school today?" He asked, a slight smile creeping to his lips.

I locked eyes with him, "What do you think?" I smiled, feeling instantly relieved. He seemed to have a talent for lifting tension. That was another good quality that he could add to his resume.

He smile turned into his trademark grin, "Alright. You just go sit on the couch and I'll go get a . . . oh." He looked so . . . cute when a realization hit him.

"It's okay, Katsuya. I'll clean it up." I wasn't going to make him clean up something like that. There was probably such a big mess in his father's bedroom, and all from me.

"What? No way!" He held his hands out and waved him frantically, "Don't worry, Seto, I'll get it all fixed up for you."

"Katsuya . . ." He was going into his protective mode.

"Just wait here in the kitchen for a minute and-"

"**Katsuya** . . ."

"-I'll just go make things all better again so that you don't have to-"

"Kat-chan!" A blush instantly covered my cheeks, but luckily I had giving him a matching stain.

"K-Kat Ch-Chan?"

"Yeah. I thought of it the other day; isn't it cute?" I smiled. Okay, so it was kind of an on-the-spot thing. It sounded so ridiculous. "Anyways, you go get that blanket and I'll put the livingroom back together, okay? You worry too much."

"Not without reason." He muttered loud enough that I could hear.

"I worry about you too, you know." I went towards the livingroom with him following at my heels.

"You worry about me?" The blond helped me pull the cushions back onto the couch.

Why was he acting so surprised? It was a little hurtful . . . "I do. You're so careless sometimes. You have also been missing a lot of school lately. While they wouldn't dare to fail me, they won't have a second thought about failing you. I'll have to persuade them in your favor." It really wouldn't be too hard, but I couldn't tell Jou that. I wanted him to try his hardest and not slack off because of me.

"Seto, how long have you been worrying?" He pulled the table back into place.

"Honestly?" I thought about that. Worrying . . . I laughed a little at the thought, "Well, since I practically raised Mokuba, I can't help but have a sort of . . . don't you **dare** laugh . . . I sort of have the mindset of a parent. Each time that I ended up going around with you and your friends during some escapade a couple of years ago, a part of me worried about you all." I scrunched up my face as the words left my lips. I never dreamt that I'd be admitting that to anyone. I don't think that even Mokuba knew about it.

"So you really **do** like my friends!"

They were the closest thing that I had to friends . . . but I wouldn't tell him that, "I've always liked you the most, though. Notice that I didn't really pick on the rest of them?"

"Wait. You liked me more, so you **picked** on me?" He rubbed his chin, "Ohhhh, so you were flirting!"

"Uh, no. Don't flatter yourself." I put my hands on my hips, watching him put the last item back on the table. "You just had the kind of personality that I like. I don't know why, but you just have that special something. I guess that you're . . . heh. It's nothing." I had embarrassed myself enough already today.

"You can't just start a sentence without finishing it! That's cruel."

"You'll make fun of me for saying it." I fell back onto the couch, an elbow on each knee as I leaned forward. Katsuya joined me.

"You know that I won't."

I sighed, knowing that he was probably telling the truth. "Well, I thought about it a lot, and I guess that I liked you the most and picked on you the most because I envied you." It must have sounded funny, coming from a multi-billionaire teen prodigy.

"Why in the hell would you possibly envy **me**?"

Well, I had already said that much, might as well go the whole way. "Because you're the kind of person that I always wanted to be. I wanted to go out with friends and just be me. I always wanted to be able to say what was on my mind, no matter how stupid I sounded. I wanted to be careless and carefree." I leaned back, stretching my arms out in front of myself before resting them at my sides. "Instead, I'm stuck with this fake personality of mine. I like being able to be myself in front of you and Mokuba . . . actually, I think that you see more of my true self than even Mokuba does. I don't want him to know the truth about certain things."

"I've always kind of envied you as well." He looked a bit nervous. Was he having just as hard of a time admitting this as I had been? "I've always wanted to be rich and famous and popular . . . and good looking too."

"You **are** good looking." I informed him, following up with a purr before I even knew what the hell I was doing. Maybe I would get lucky and he wouldn't hear the low growling in my throat.

Fate seemed against me as he looked at me with wide eyes, "Seto, did you just-"

"Yes, shut up." I couldn't help but laugh at myself a little, "See? It's weird if I do strange things."

"Yeah, but it's cute." He draped an arm across my shoulder.

I stared at his hand for a moment before closing my eyes, smiling just enough that he would notice. It was kind of my way of telling him that he could kiss me, without coming out and saying it. He was really learning my personality so easily. He seemed to be catching on that I didn't like to be forward . . . and I liked that he was conforming to me.

He pulled me close, the back of his hand running along my cheek as he kissed the top of my head. Well, I wasn't expecting **that**.

"I love you."

"I love you too." This time the words came out quickly, but my heart fluttered a bit with anxiety, "But please be patient with me."

"I'll wait forever if I have to."

I snuggled closer, "And I know that you mean that."

* * *

Alright! Yet another chapter completed. Finally finished my sophomore year of college! Halfway there! Haha, yeah right . . .

Please leave me a cute little review and/or drop me a line on the forum. You all don't know how much I enjoy reading the messages you leave me. I love the ones that are longer and show your personalities! Though I guess just saying 'yay, update faster!' works too . . .


	23. Day Seven: Caught

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

**

* * *

**

As promised, I have updated BBESS next. I basically died when I saw that this was the longer chapter. I was hoping for a shorter chapter that I could quickly rewrite . . . somebody somewhere must really hate me.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I owned Yugioh, I wouldn't really need to go to college. . . and the series itself would still be in duelist kingdom (like episode ten or something). . . the slow-ass that I am.

* * *

**Recap:**

"_I love you." _

"_I love you too." This time the words came out quickly, but my heart fluttered a bit with anxiety, "But please be patient with me."_

"_I'll wait forever if I have to."_

_I snuggled closer, "And I know that you mean that."_

**

* * *

**

I did my best to get comfortable on Jou's couch, even though it smelled like a bar, balancing my laptop on my thighs. I had fallen so far behind on work with all of the recent happenings. You would think that I had died, considering the emails I had received in my short absence. There were several repeated messages, the duplicates asking if I was alright since I hadn't replied within 24 hours. It was fake concern, of course. They were all just impatient bastards.

Jounouchi had busied himself with cleaning up after a certain someone. I felt pretty bad about it, but if it made him feel better to do it for me, then that was fine.

Ah, yet another email down. How many more were there?

Jou finished vacuuming as if on cue.

"Could you get me another cup of coffee while you're up?" I asked, not even bothering to look up from my screen. I held up my empty glass while the other continued to tirelessly type away. If Jou were a woman, he'd make a great wife. He had brought me the first one earlier when I had asked and dutifully brought it to me without haste. It was nice.

"What do I look like, a housewife?" He snapped, jokingly, as if he could read my mind.

I stopped typing, ready for a little arguing, "A flat-chested housewife, perhaps." I shot back, looking up at him with no real expression.

His hands quickly flew up to cover his non-existent breasts, "Does that bother you?"

"Not really." I replied, already bored with how this had turned out. Working took away all amusement. I sat down my still-empty cup and put my hands together, flexing my fingers, "Then again, you've seen one set, you've seen them all." I shrugged, not realizing how bad that must have sounded. Jou's personality was beginning to wear off on me.

He folded his arms, "Oh, so you've seen that many?" He narrowed his eyes, but he looked serious.

I couldn't help but smirk at both the question and his undue seriousness, "Not willingly, of course. You see, there are many women -and men too- that would go to absolutely any length to get their hands on a nice amount of money. Needless to say, I have a fair amount of money and thus women like to throw themselves and their chests at me."

"You're handsome, too." He decided to add, blushing like a damn schoolgirl.

I took the opportunity to launch a couch pillow at his blond head.

"What was that for?" He held a hand to his head as if it had actually hurt.

"For starting weird, perverse conversations." I wasn't so bored of the conversation anymore, though . . . what did that say about me?

"Then that would be your fault. You're the reason that I'm acting like a pervert."

"_Why are you doing this?"_

"_I can't help it, Seto. It's your fault that I'm acting this way. I can't help myself."_

"Something like that is not my fault. I can't control the way that I look; however all of **you** can control the way that you act!"

The color drained from his face, "Seto, I was just kiddi-"

"_It's your fault that I'm acting this way."_

"You think it's funny?"

"_I can't help myself."_

A loud crash snapped me back into my senses just in time for me to realize that the cause of said crash was I. Great; I destroyed yet another of my computers. That, of course, was the least of my worries at the moment upon noticing a bewildered Jounouchi staring at me without uttering a word. Guess I slipped up again.

"I'm sorry." I sat back down on the couch, trying my best not to look him in the eyes. Clasping my hands between my legs, I rested my elbows on my knees. "I'm sorry." I repeated after hearing nothing in reply.

At the slight sound of movement I glanced up to catch Jou placing his hand over his chest.

"Did I scare you?" The look in his eyes looked rather terrified. Was he **trying** to make me feel like a total jerk?

He quickly averted his eyes to the floor, "No, I guess you just startled me."

Startled? With that kind of reaction? Hmm . . . "Does violent behavior bother you?" I got back on my feet, one arm across my stomach and the other hand on my chin as I pondered what this could mean. Violent behavior . . . that type of reaction . . . if he had been startled, wouldn't there have been some kind of verbal reaction? Yes, there would be, at least from a **normal** guy his age. Yet Jou had been totally silent, almost as if he was afraid that I would-

"Doesn't it bother **most** people?"

"Not so much . . . When I supposedly startled you, did you feel as though your heart would leap out of your chest or perhaps that you wanted to run away from me?" I could feel my eyebrows knit together as I tried to choose the correct words for my question. The emotions of an abused person . . . I was no stranger to them.

Jou began to fidget, "One sign of being startled is that your heart starts beating quickly."

Clearly he was trying to reason away his feelings, to reason away what he already knew was true.

"This is true, but usually someone that is startled makes some kind of noise; a scream or a yelp. You, however, remained silent and motionless. Most people jump a little when startled."

"Well excuse me for not playing the part correctly, oh intelligent one."

There he was with the humor again. I was right all along; Jounouchi Katsuya uses humor to hide the sad truth. Did he even realize he was doing it?

After giving him a long, hard look, I began to do what most predators do before attacking their prey: I began to slowly walk in a circle around him, saying nothing.

After one full revolution I stopped, the unease practically oozing from his every pore. "Are you nervous?" I asked, though the answer was ridiculously obvious.

"What are you doi-"

"Are you nervous?" I brought my face nose-to-nose with his, tired of beating around the bush. "Do you feel as if I might try to hurt you? Do you feel as though you want to run?"

"No." The answer was practically instant as though it came more from a reaction rather than a thought.

"What are you answering 'no' to?" I backed up a bit since being so close was even getting a bit awkward for **me**, but I remained just close enough to hopefully keep him in the state of mind that I wanted him. I would get my answers. I always got my answers . . . well, almost always.

"I don't feel like I want to run away from you."

"And why not?"

"Because I'm strong enough to take you on."

"Why wouldn't you flee from your father?"

"Because then he would just-" His mouth snapped shut, but it was already too late; I had what I wanted. He inadvertently admitted that his father attacked him in some manner or another.

I couldn't help but smirk with satisfaction, "I knew it."

Jounouchi, on the other hand, was pissed, "You're a fucking bastard; a snake."

His words bounced off of me. It wasn't anything that I hadn't heard before, "I wouldn't survive in the business world if I wasn't. I knew all along that there was something going on that you've been hiding from me."

"Let's get something straight right now; I'm not abused, if that's what you're thinking. Sure he's hit me a couple of times, but nothing severe. He usually just gets pissed off and breaks a thing or two."

"Physical abuse isn't the only kind of abuse, Jounouchi Katsuya." It definitely wasn't the only kind. "There's physical abuse, verbal abuse . . . sexual abuse . . ." I caught myself as my eyes darted to the floor and quickly brought them back to Jou's face. No way was I going to be pathetic at a time like this.

"Verbal abuse isn't something to freak out about though."

Okay, now he was **really** starting to piss me off. Even so, I tried to keep my cool, "Wrong. Abuse of any kind is a serious matter. He verbally abuses you, or so it sounds, and he obviously acts violently. It's only a matter of time before he decides that you look good when covered in bruises. You need to go to someone and get some help. Have you ever called the police when he went after you?"

"Seto, I'm not going to call the police like some child simply because my dad yells at me or says things that I don't like to hear."

I gritted my teeth, "You know, sometimes you need to put safety before pride."

"Yeah you're one to talk." He closed the gap between us that I had recently created and got into **my** face this time, "You've never once given up your pride for anything!"

In all due honesty, if I had been holding a gun at that moment, I think that I would have shot him and killed him without even giving it a second thought. My entire body was shaking and I felt as though I would burst from all of the anger inside of me that was trying to escape at once.

"I've never given up my pride? How much pride could I have had when I allowed grown men on top of me just to keep my brother safe? How much pride could I have had when I was forced to pose for erotic pictures for fear that I would be whipped otherwise? Well, Jounouchi? How much? How much pride can a sixteen year-old boy have when he has to explain pictures of himself bound and naked and surrounded by various CEOs to a judge, a jury, and a full courtroom? When he has to tell them that he doesn't know how many different people raped him because he stopped counting after the number reached twenty and that he wasn't too sure those were right because he was frequently blindfolded anyway?"

I dropped to my knees before my mind could grasp what exactly had just come out of my mouth. I felt drained and pathetic . . . and utterly embarrassed. Why had I said so much?

I could see Jounouchi's knees not far from my own, though I was staring at the floor, and I knew that he had gone down with me. When I felt his hands on my shoulders, I shoved him away.

"Don't become like me." I felt like I was talking to Mokuba. Or rather, I felt like I was saying the things that I **wanted **to say to Mokuba. Luckily he had been kept safe from the horrible side of life. Jounouchi, however, had not.

"Seto," Jou began, "my situation isn't nearly as bad as-"

I jerked up head up quickly, our eyes making contact. I should have known that he would say something like that. "It doesn't matter how bad something is compared to another situation; it's about you, Katsuya. Doesn't it hurt you when your father acts that way towards you or around you? His actions have a negative effect on you whether you can see it or not."

His only response this time was to stare at me, so I made myself a little more comfortable on his floor by sitting in a more natural position. Still, he said nothing. I took that as my cue to continue. "How can you be so kind and protective when you've grown up with someone like that?"

"I don't know. My best guess would be that it's just the kind of person that I am." He shrugged, playing with the carpet rather than bothering to look at me.

"If you refuse to look at me, I'll leave."

His head jerked up so fast I thought he'd get whiplash. I couldn't help but smile, even though it was such a sad situation, "You don't want me to leave, huh? Maybe that's why you're so nice to everyone, why you try to take everyone's feelings into consideration before your own. You don't want any of them to leave . . . right?"

"Why would anyone want their friends to leave?" Though he tried to sound calm, I could hear the nervous edge in his voice, "You always say things and ask questions as though you're trying to get to the bottom of something, but I have the same answers as anyone else."

The same answers as anyone else? Not really. I was the exact opposite. For the past several years I have done nothing but push people away so that they would hate me. I wanted everyone to stay away from me. Friends were simply a burden. You grow attached to them and then they die or move away. What good is it to make relationships when all they do is disappear and crush you?

Maybe my situation was a bit more unique. Perhaps a change in topics?

"Your parents are divorced right? And you went with your father and your mother took your sister, right?" I stared at him from the corner of one eye as I leaned backward, using my arms as braces. I tried to remember his family structure. I remember during Battle City he had a sister with him. What was her name again? Sayaka? Sarah? Serenity?

"Yeah." He replied, though with a somber tone. "My parents divorced when Shizuka and I were just kids."

Ah, Shizuka. That's right.

Katsuya's eyes kind of glazed over as he disappeared into thought.

"Do you think that had some kind of effect on how you turned out?" My question fell on deaf ears, as he was likely venturing through some old memories. He looked utterly depressed.

"Katsuya?"

He jumped a little, which kind of startled **me** as well.

"Huh?"

"It must be a very painful memory." I felt kind of bad for making him remember something that upset him, but hadn't he done that to me several times already? Either way, I felt like I had upset Mokuba or something. I suppose it's because Katsuya has such a young personality.

"A painful memory?"

"The face that you made while daydreaming . . . you looked very sad."

The heavy atmosphere hung in the air while the two of us tried to think of what to say next. Jou opened his mouth to speak, but I kind of beat him to it. . .

Well, my stomach did. There was a long, low growling noise coming from inside of me and I couldn't help but stare down at myself in shock. Had that really come from me? It hadn't sounded like that in years! I tried to laugh it off so that I didn't seem so ridiculous, "Eheh, we never did eat breakfast, pup."

"Oh yeah . . . I burnt the food that I was cooking earlier."

"Why does that not surprise me?" This time I said Indian-style. Since when had I become so unable to sit still? "Do you always eat burnt food or something?"

"No. I'm actually a pretty decent cook. When I'm by myself, there's nothing running around the house to distract me." He smirked at me, the apparent distraction.

"I would hardly say that I was _running_ around the house. I sit stationary more often than anything." Kind of contradicting what I had just said, I attempted to get to my feet, quickly falling back to the floor. My ass still hurt like a bitch. Stupid bastard . . .

"Do you need help up?" Jou easily hopped up from the floor, and held his hands out to me.

It was stupid. It was so stupid. I had just gone through my little speech about helping others without worrying about yourself, and here I was . . . I was worried about helping him and protecting my brother when the one currently hurt was me. I tended **not** to worry about myself. I took chances and dealt with the consequences later. Even now . . . and I looked so pathetic for it. What would Gozaburo think if he saw me now? What would he think?"

He would think, "It's pitiful isn't it? Having to help an eighteen-year-old to his feet . . . it's really pathetic."

"You're hurt!" Jounouchi practically yelled. Had I said that out loud?

"You offer me your help now, and I could easily take it. However, if I get used to the help and then suddenly you go away-"

"I'm not going to go away!" How dare he interrupt me. "I've told you several times now, Seto; I'm not going to leave you not matter what. Face it; you're stuck with me."

"What makes you so positive that you'll never decide that you just don't want to be around me anymore?" I folded my arms, but there was nothing intimidating about a man sitting on the floor trying to look like a badass.

"Because I love you."

Damn. Every time he said that, my heart went crazy and chills ran up and down my spine. "When you said it, it sounds so wonderful. Then again, I had thought the same thing when Saki had said it. I thought that he was absolutely perfect." The images of **my** Saki came to mind. "I loved how his hair reminded me of the night sky, and his eyes were the shimmering stars within it."

Saki was very handsome. His smile was enough to make me smile right back and his gaze was so intense that it practically made me melt. His appearance was so . . . manipulative.

"It's nice to know that you still think about him so much. If you could have your fantasy Saki back, would you leave me for him?"

"No." Sure the memories were lovely, but they were only memories. I didn't want to be fooled again. " I never had someone like that. He had me. He had me in his little trap. Saki tricked me when I was most vulnerable and used that to his advantage." I tried to stand up, and Katsuya was quick to come help me, "But you," I grabbed his shoulders to balance myself, "It feels like . . ." It felt like he would do absolutely anything just to make me happy. I startle to laugh out loud. There's no way that anyone would actually be that way. Everyone was a little selfish and everyone had their limits.

It wasn't until Katsuya smiled that I realized I had been doing the same. "Aw, come on! Feels like what?"

How could I say what I really thought without sounding ridiculous? Well, I suppose that I could just do what Katsuya does and just say exactly what I'm thinking. "It almost feels like you don't want to be without me. Like you would do just about anything to make me happy. I don't think you've ever said that, and I'm probably wrong, but that's how it feels and. . . well, I don't want a feeling like that to ever go away. I don't want **you** to ever go away." What was this, a soap opera? "Does that sound too mushy and romantic?"

"It's extremely mushy and romantic. . . and it's too cute coming from you." Grinning, he wrapped his warm arms around me. . .

Aaaaaand the phone rang. I gently pulled away from him and made my way to the phone, pondering what to do with it when I finally go there. Should I sling it against the wall? No, I shouldn't destroy someone else's property . . . not that I wasn't capable of replacing it or anything.

I used my shoulder to hold the phone against my ear as I leaned against the wall. "Hellooo?" I asked, reminding myself of my younger brother. I heard Jou snicker a bit at my childish antics. I liked making him laugh . . .

"This is Ms. Arashi with attendance at-"

I leaned forward from the wall, gripping the phone in my right hand with irritation at the familiar voice, "You again?"

"Is this Mr. Kaiba? I'm calling to ask why you and-"

"I believe that I had told you this once before; I don't need to attend those ridiculous classes in order to pass the tests." Damn this woman was annoying.

"Mr. Kaiba, regardless of your intellectual capabilities, you and Jounouchi must attend your classes! Even if you are able to do well on exams, Jounouchi doesn't do so well and so-"

"Oh? So you don't think that Jounouchi Katsuya will learn anything when left with me? Are you trying to imply that I am not capable of teaching someone my own age?"

"No Mr. Kaiba! That's not it at all! I'm only trying to say that-"

"Make all of the excuses you want. I am very offended that you would even imply something like that." I held the phone away from my ear as her voice was growing higher and higher in pitch every time. I couldn't hear everything she was saying, but it sounded more like groveling than anything. "Alright, alright. I have a deal to make with you. Let this slide, and I'll forgive you for irritating me and implying that I am incompetent. Either make this deal with me, or suffer the loss of your job."

"Y-yes, Mr. Kaiba. I hope that the two of you will be returning to your classes on Monday."

I hung up, deciding that she didn't earn the right to a proper goodbye.

Katsuya apparently decided to be the voice of reason, "You know, you shouldn't be so mean to her. That woman is really nervous all the time."

I could help but smile a little, running a hand through my hair, "That's why she's such a pushover." In the real world, only the tough guys go anywhere. Pathetic people get walked all over. . . to change the subject I put my hands on my hips, looking down my nose at the golden blond, "Well, Mr. wonderful cook, are you going to make me an unforgettable breakfast?" I smirked so that he knew I wasn't really looking down on him.

He moved close until we were nose to nose, which I'll admit still made me a little uncomfortable, "Well," He began, his eyes almost half-lidded, "I can't guarantee that the food will be anything spectacular," Just then a smirk crossed his features that made me even **more** uncomfortable, "but there **are** ways of making it spectacular."

I could feel my face heating up. I opened my mouth to say something snappy, but I completely forgot what I was going to say when another mouth covered my own, a light pressure pushing me back against the wall. As his arms wrapped around my waist I could feel my own muscles begin to relax from the warmth. I closed my eyes to try to keep from feeling so awkward as I draped my arms over his shoulders.

It was weird standing there like that, with someone kissing me. Someone that wasn't Saki, someone that wasn't several times my age . . . someone that wasn't doing so against my will. It was okay this way. Katsuya was very gentle.

Until he decided to lick my bottom lip, that is. Okay, so it's not like that isn't gentle, but it's awkward and strange and reminds me of . . .

I clamped my lips shut, causing the blond to pull away with an almost-sad expression. "What's wrong?"

The heat in my face was more intense than ever. What could I possibly say to him? That look on his face made it even harder to come up with a lie. "We need to eat first. You can't have dessert before breakfast." My whole body was probably bright red by now and I had to look up at the ceiling to keep from feeling like a complete weirdo. Seriously, what kind of thing was that to say? Calling myself dessert? Geez, Kaiba Seto, what has gotten into you?

Jou grinned, "Does that make you the dessert?"

Oh man, was he **trying** to embarrass me? The two of us moved away from the wall and I clasped my hands together behind me, rubbing my fingers over my knuckles in an attempt to look innocent rather than awkward, "Well, it's something sweet, isn't it?"

"It's something indescribably sweet."

Yeah. He was trying to embarrass me.

* * *

Katsuya said that I had to stay in his bedroom until he finished cooking. Was I actually the reason that he kept burning the food? What a weird guy.

I lay down on the bed for a short while, just staring at the ceiling. This entire situation was just weird. So much had happened in only a few days. I felt like the two of us had been together for such a long time. Together . . . it sounded strange even though it was only in my own mind. Together; Jounouchi Katsuya and Kaiba Seto are together.

I could smell the food cooking and my stomach just kept growling again and again. I nearly yelled out loud at it before I realized how ridiculous that would be. I had done quite a few ridiculous things lately.

I drummed my fingers lightly against the mattress before leaving Jou's room. Surely he was finished by now, right?

As I entered the kitchen I stopped and leaned against the wall. Katsuya had a very gentle smile on his lips as he set the table, beaming as he looked over his finished work.

"What's up with that creepy expression?" I taunted.

He seemed a little bit startled, "What creepy expression?" He scrunched up his nose and folded his arms, completely unintimidating.

"You had the look of a proud mother, staring at the food like that."

"Oh." Came his simple reply, followed by a blank look. He almost seemed as if he was about to zone out before he finally thought up an excuse, "I was just thinking about stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" I continued the conversation as I sat in the same spot I had been sitting in for the past few days. The omelet and juice were calling my name; how could I possibly refuse?

"Just stuff." He sat down in his proper place. Before I could pester him more about his thoughts, he enthusiastically proclaimed, "Look! It's not burnt." He grinned his trademark Jou grin.

I shook my head at him, trying not to laugh, "It's pretty sad when that is something you have to point out."

It did look really good though, not burnt at all. The aroma was also terrific. I reached for my fork so that I could dig in to my very late breakfast . . . only to touch the surface of the table.

"Um," I began, taking notice that Jou was **still** staring at me, "It's nice that you are so proud of it and all, but I'd like to actually eat the food and I sure as hell don't intend to eat this with my bare hands."

The blond gave me a funny look at first before he looked down at his own set-up and realized what was missing, "Oh, my bad!" He slid from his chair and yanked out a drawer, retrieving two forks like a good dog. "Anything else, your highness?"

I glared at him for addressing me like that yet again, but then a thought came to mind. "Actually, if you are feeling so generous, I'll take a cup of coffee." I smirked, half-expecting him to actually get one for me.

"Now that you mention it," Jou returned the same mischievous smirk, "I'm not feeling so generous after all."

Bad dog.

**

* * *

**

We finished our 'breakfast' shortly after noon and began working on separate things. I was catching up on some long over-due work on my laptop while Jou was . . . I don't know. He was doing something with an old-school notebook.

Oh right, so about my laptop. I called one of my staff and had him bring one of my back-up computers. I had plenty of back-up computers. I did my important work off of a server connection, so it wasn't like I'd have to reinstall anything and I didn't lose any files. Things worked out perfectly. Well, everything except Jou's wall, which I promised to have fixed at some point.

Anyways, I was going through my never-ending inbox of emails, deleting bullshit and dragging various memos into folders. At the moment I was working on ordering some new office furniture. The stuff in my building **was **getting a bit out-dated. Hey, it was either occupy myself with miniscule projects or drive myself over the deep-end by reading page after page of pathetic emails. Honestly, some people wrote novels to me. Who really thought that I had the free time to sit and read emails all day? I had plenty of better things to do . . .

"What are you working on?" Apparently the silence was too much for a certain blond and so he felt the need to play the part of the curious child.

I stopped typing instantly, moving only my eyes to see him, "Things for my company."

I mean really, what else would I be doing? Instant messaging my non-existent friends? Writing an email to a distant pen pal? Looking at porn?

"What kinds of things?" He asked after seeming to have thought deeply about my first answer.

I started back typing again, "Oh, just the same old shit. People trying to sell me things, of course. Computers, software, furniture, ideas, even things like pens." That about summed it up. People always wanted to sell me whatever they could possibly sell. I have money and they want it. Some of them would probably offer their first-born child if they thought I would want it.

"Do you ever accept their offers?" Jou came to sit next to me, leaning just a bit so that he could also see the screen so I just pushed the laptop onto one leg so that he could get a better view.

"Sometimes I buy from them, but only if I'm really interested in what they have." I opened up the email that I had just fished reading, "I accepted this one here and he is going to meet me in my office on Monday so that we can discuss the numbers and whatnot." The email contained the image of a computer desk, "I'm going to buy one of these for every office in my office building. I'll look at the budget plans that the international offices have set up and see if they have room for new furniture." Pfeh, stupid international flunkies. "I doubt it though; they all generally suck at managing money. I'm getting so tired of firing the executives and hiring new ones."

Jou looked thoughtful, "Why don't **you** set up their budgets?"

"Oh, I do, believe me. I practically beat it into their skulls. Yet somehow they always manage to screw something up, causing a domino effect that messes up the whole plan. Some of the offices are really good about keeping with the budget, but there are others that are just plain awful." I pulled the computer back into my lap and continued my work.

Katsuya, on the other hand, grabbed his little spiral notebook and looked it over. I kind of felt . . . bad. Here I was, discussing purchasing office furniture for an entire corporate office, meanwhile Jou didn't even have his own computer. I hadn't been trying to brag or anything, but I bet it probably made him feel a bit inadequate.

"Do you want a laptop, Katsuya?" I glanced from his face down to his little notebook.

"What? Oh, no, it's fine. This works for me." He smiled, but I could tell he was lying. He was just being modest. I wonder if he was taught not to want anything. . .

I went back to my typing, "We'll go and get you one tomorrow. Tomorrow is Saturday, right?"

"We'll go and get you one tomorrow. Tomorrow is Saturday, right?"

"It's not necessary, really. Besides, you're hurt and-"

"Is it really so wrong that I want to get you a gift?"

"You've already done plenty for me."

"Katsuya, I've got a shitload of money and I don't know what to do with it. At least let me do something good for someone else rather than waste it on shitty furniture." I couldn't help but smile a bit. It was true; I usually spent money without really paying attention, but now that I think back on things I've purchased recently . . . there are so many other things that I could be spending on. I could be spending on Jou and Mokuba.

"If you insist." That's what he said, but I caught the slight smile on his lips and the shimmer in his eyes. He had a very young heart.

The truth is, a part of me felt obligated to do something for him, as small as the favor may be. He said that I've 'already done plenty' for him, but that's a lie. I've only caused him trouble ever since I came to his house. I never dreamed that things would turn out as they have. It was supposed to be **him** annoying me, not the other way around! Though, his incessant questioning is a tad bit irritating.

The doorbell rang and I could have sworn that it was echoing through every room. It certainly echoed in my ears. Both of us instantly froze up, but why? I mean, it's not like it could have been Saki again. That thought never even crossed my mind. Really. It didn't.

Well, maybe only for a second.

Okay, so maybe I stiffened up because it really could have been Saki trying to trick me into coming to the door again.

"I'll get it." Jou rose to his feet.

What if it really **was** Saki on the other side of the door? What if he wanted Jou to answer? What if Saki wanted to kill Jou? I reached into my computer bag and pulled out the handgun that my employee had brought to me when he brought my spare laptop.

"No," I told him, "I'll get it." Like I've said many times before . . . I'm a good shot.

"Where the hell did that come from?" He pointed an accusing finger at my weapon, an expression of complete shock and confusion at play on his face. The doorbell rang for a second time.

"Oh, this little thing?" I glanced at my gun, "Remember the guy that brought me my backup laptop? I asked him to bring this as well."

"That's a bit shady . . ." He almost looked a bit nervous. Was he really that bothered by weapons? I'd have to dig a bit deeper into this idea sometime in the future. The doorbell rang a third time, yet now it was accompanied by loud pounding. The color drained from Jou's face, "What if the person at the door is-"

"I'll shoot him." My heart began to pound harder at the thought of Saki at the door.

"-a cop? You'd shoot him?"

"Well no," Oh, that made sense. A cop may not like me coming to the door with a gun in his face. "not if it was a cop, I thought that you were going to say-"

Three consecutive rings and more pounding.

We both looked at each other, eyes lit up from the adrenaline rush.

"Well then, shall we go?" My blond (mine?) asked, pulling the lamp from his nightstand and yanking the plug from the wall.

Seriously? I couldn't help but laugh, "Is that your weapon?" Did I need to buy him a gun too?

He simply grinned that same, cute, cheesy grin, "Yup! There might be two people, ya know?"

"I **do** have more than one bullet in here and I'm a pretty good shot. My aim is excellent."

_He fell to the floor within seconds of the firing of the gun. . . the gun in my hands. I pulled that trigger. It __was my fault . . ._

No. Now is **not** the time for that. "Let's go!" I called out to my new friend; Jounouchi Katsuya. I wouldn't let him become another Satoshi.

The two of us rushed down the hallway and towards the front door. As we arrived we could hear voices coming from the other side, but it wasn't possible to make out distinct words.

"Are you ready?" I rested my free hand on the knob, my heart pounding to the point that it was making it difficult to hear anything else.

"Yeah." Katsuya sounded unsure himself, raising the lamp high above his head.

My own hand was shaking as I turned the lock and yanked open the door, quickly using both hands to point my gun at whomever might be on the other side.

"Woah! Hey! It's just us, you guys!" Katsuya's more-than-irritating friends were at the door along with their project partners, I assume. The girls were all shivering pathetically behind the not-so-brave males as was the white-haired boy (isn't his name Ryou or something?), which didn't really surprise me. I had thought he was a girl in a male uniform at school for the longest time . . .

I lowered my gun to my side and Jou tucked the lamp under his arm . . . and then started making excuses in that nervous voice of his, "Oh, uh, hey everybody. Um . . . we were just, you know, um . . ."

"Fighting." I finished before he could make an even bigger fool of himself.

"Seto!" The taller Yuugi exclaimed loudly, "Thank the gods you're alright!" He let out a loud sigh, placing a hand over his chest. Thank the gods I'm alright? What? "After seeing the condition that you were in the other day-"

"Yami, hush!" The shorter Yuugi hissed, looking a little peeved. But I'm willing to bet that he wasn't nearly as pissed as I was at the moment.

I narrowed my eyes, glancing from tall Yuugi and then to Jou with a look that demanded to know exactly what he had told them.

Jou, on the other hand, looked almost like a deer caught in some headlights. I wouldn't be surprised if he suddenly began to frantically wave his arms in front of him while babbling explanations.

"Seto-"

"The name's Kaiba. Don't act so friendly with me." I snapped at the taller Yuugi, Yami no Yuugi I believe Jou called him. How dare he use my first name?

"Kaiba," Yuugi jumped in, "We really were worried and we came by today to check on you and Jou."

"What were you so worried about? I'm perfectly fine." We hadn't gone to school and I hadn't seen Katsuya make any phone calls. He hadn't used the computer at all either. How on earth could the two of them possibly know anything that had happened? Did they really know anything about the 'Saki incident' at all? Were they actually inquiring about something else and I was simply jumping to conclusions?

"Fine?" Yami no Yuugi growled, "You were unconscious and-"

Yuugi's tiny hands flew up to cover the other's mouth, "Yami! We said we wouldn't tell, remember?" The group behind him looked confused.

'We said we wouldn't tell'? So they **did** know something that they shouldn't know. Did Jou call them while I was unconscious? Or worse, did they **see** me while I was in that condition? My heart rate picked up its pace again.

"Well I wasn't going to say anything," That friendship nutcase Anzu cut in, "But Kaiba, the bandages on your arms make it pretty obvious that you aren't fine." She pointed at them like I was some kind of spectacle.

Oh yeah; I was wearing one of Jou's short-sleeved shirts. Well, hopefully no one would recognize that the article of clothing belonged to the blond and not to me.

I shot Jou a look, "I should have just worn one of my long-sleeved shirts." I knew that wearing his clothes was a bad idea. I should have stuck with my gut feelings.

"I think that you two need to explain to us and everyone else just what exactly is going on." Yami folded his arms across his chest, trying to play the role of 'responsible adult' in the matter, but only succeeding in giving me the powerful urge to slap that irritating look off of his face.

"Yeah," Ryou stepped out from behind his evil twin, "Considering how you all have been acting around each other lately, I highly doubt that you would be fighting, let alone fighting with weapons." He eyed my gun.

Well, wasn't he the observant one? I didn't know Katsuya had friends like him.

"Maybe they were fighting for dominance." The evil twin flashed a creepy grin, narrowing his eyes with perversion. Yet another person I wanted to hurt right now.

"Speaking of dominance," Yuugi chimed, "Jou, did you give Seto that thing you got for him yesterday?"

"Speaking of _dominance_?" I practically choked, "Jounouchi, what the hell did you buy?" I vaguely remember him mentioning that he bought something for me, but I couldn't recall exactly what he had said.

The blond simply side-stepped as the now-chuckling group slipped inside. He closed the door behind them, locking it.

"I told you earlier, Seto; I bought you a swimsuit. Remember having that short-lived conversation? He sat on the couch, placing the lamp on the table in front of him. His friends gathered around.

"No, I don't remember that." Refusing to sit, I simply stood near him, staring down into his big brown eyes. A swimsuit? Maybe I remembered something like that . . .

"Oh come on!" He grinned up at me, "I was picking out an outfit and you asked if I had bought any new clothes when we all went out yesterday and I told you that I had bought you something instead . . . Ring any bells?"

"_Something for me? I'm afraid to find out what it is." _

"_It's a swimsuit!" _

"_Now I __**really**__ don't want to see it." _

I sat down next to him, crossing my legs and folding my arms. I laid the gun down beside his 'weapon' on the table. "Hm, yeah, I suppose that I faintly remember having a conversation about that." I dared to admit it, wondering if that was really the best move. Whatever, as long as the topic shifted away from my injuries . . .

His brown-haired friend, Honda I believe, leaned down way too close to my face. "Did Jou happen to tell you that the trunks he got are really short?" He stood straight up and quickly backed off. With good reason too; I'm sure the look on my face was anything but pleasant.

"Jounouchi?" I said his name for the millionth time that day, still staring down this Honda guy, "He's kidding, right?"

No one said a word.

"Jounouchi?" The annoyance was obvious in my tone as I slowly faced the blond in question. I swear, if he was telling the truth . . .

Jounouchi leapt from the couch, his hands flying up defensively, "Okay, okay! Just let me explain!"

"Explain?" He had to **explain**? So he wasn't lying? "You bought me a skimpy swimsuit?" I got up from the couch, wincing from the pain of moving too fast with my injuries, ready to beat his ass, but his damn funky-haired friends grabbed me by the arms . . . though they couldn't hold me for long. I shook off little Yuugi instantly and Yami didn't last much longer.

"It's just a gag gift!" Jou called out, bracing for impact.

"Gag?"

"_Anyone got a gag? I can't take this brat's blubbering. Apparently he needs something in his ass __**and **__in his mouth when you fuck him!"_

". . . and show us your lovely legs."

My legs?

"_Damn! Look at those legs! Long legs look good draped over my shoulders."_ He let out a heavy laugh, his face long forgotten . . . or had I ever known it in the first place?

"You'd better shut the fuck up."

Saki always defended me. No, wait. Not Saki. That was Katsuya's voice. Damn, did I zone out again? They were all rambling about something.

"Threatening me, Jounouchi Katsuya?" The evil albino questioned, his eyes laughing, "really now, even you would be in for a treat. Have you ever seen Seto's legs?" Back when he was a priest-"

Oh. So it was **he** who had mentioned my legs . . .

"Yes, I have seen them." Katsuya admitted, embarrassing me a bit, "Leave. Him. Alone."

"A priest?" One of the group's accompanying bimbos asked, "You were a priest, Kaiba?" She batted her eyes as though I gave a shit.

I rolled my own eyes, "No. Never was and never will be."

"You've seen his legs?" It was Honda this time.

I couldn't bear to look at any of them at the moment. I was currently too busy staring at my own hands. The burning in my cheeks was becoming more and more difficult to ignore.

Katsuya joined me, silent. Would he ever learn to watch what he said?

"So . . . are they nice?" The quiet kid, Yuugi's project partner I think, asked.

"If his body is anything like the one that he had as a priest . . ." Yami's voice trailed off.

Talking about my body again. Was it really that much different than anyone else's? And this whole 'priest' thing. Sounds like I was a slut in a past life as well. Not that I believe in past lives or anything. I don't believe in them, you know.

"You guys," Jounouchi's voice almost sounded like he was pleading now, "Please-"

The other's were either ignoring him or just didn't hear him.

"Oh yeah." Ryou's evil twin (Bakura?) cooed, closing his eyes, "The priest Seto had the most beautiful body in the whole kingdom."

I pursed my lips to keep from making an outburst. Stop talking about me. Stop talking about me. Stop **fucking** talking about me!

The two of them bantered back and forth, not that I cared to listen anymore. I was trying my best to mentally block them out. Not only did they feel the need to talk about my body now, but they also felt the need to make up ancestors of me to molest. I clenched my fists so tight that I thought I might pierce my palms with my nails.

The last bit I caught was Bakura bragging. "I enter without permission and **take** what I want, regardless of the will of the owner."

Like Saki. Jou has friends that are exactly like Saki. They take what they want . . .

"_Saki, I said stop!"_

"_And I said 'no'."_

. . . regardless of the will of the owner.

"Seto . . ." Katsuya whispered softly to me, trying to remain undetected by the others. "Het Seto," He said again when I didn't respond, gently taking hold of my arms and leading me toward the hall. "Don't you have some e-mails to answer or some offers to decline?" He said this part in a normal voice so that his friends were sure to hear. Ah, an excuse as to why he was leading me away. Somewhat clever, pup.

I smiled softly, "Thanks."

As we entered his bedroom he shut the door behind us. "I'm sorry that all of them showed up." He apologized, leaning against the wall with one hand in his pocket and the other nervously rubbing the back of his head. Sometimes he was just too cute. It was difficult to stay mad at him anymore. How was I able to do it before this project began?

"It's not your fault." I sat down carefully on his bed. It really wasn't his fault. Obviously he hadn't invited them over or anything. "So Yuugis one and two were here yesterday?" I hadn't been able to get the full story about that.

"Yeah . . . I had forgotten to tell you about that. I didn't expect them to come back over today."

"Why were they here yesterday? According to what they were saying, it was only the two of them and no one else." I absentmindedly fiddled with the bandages on my arms while maintaining eye contact with Jou. **His** eyes, however, seemed to be anything but focused. "Katsuya!" I snapped, startling him from his apparent daydream.

"Uh, what?"

"Don't you 'uh, what?' me." I turned the blinds a bit to brighten the room. "I asked what those two came over for yesterday."

"Oh . . ." He made a thoughtful face, "To drop off that thing that I got for you yesterday." He grinned and I wanted to throw a shoe at him or something. I still can't believe that he bought me a skimpy swimsuit.

"I still haven't seen it." I cocked one brow along with the corresponding corner of my mouth.

"Do you want to?" He leaned away from the wall and clasped his hands over his chest, far too excited about the idea of showing it to me.

I shook my head, smiling at his fangirl-ish antics, "Not really." I truly had no desire to see what he had picked out for me.

"Well you'll be wearing them tomorrow whether you've seen them by then or not." A mischievous smile crossed his lips. I didn't really like the look of his smile and I certainly didn't care for the way he was speaking to me, but I did my best to ignore that for now.

"Speaking of that whole pool thing tomorrow, I thought about my situation and came up with a solution."

"A solution to what? Oh yeah, your back." His smile faded quickly.

"Yeah. I'll just wear swimming trunks and a white t-shirt. I just won't get in the water." I folded my arms and leaned back against the window for a moment until I realized just how uncomfortable the blinds were when pressed against my back.

"well that would work, except for the fact that she said everyone must actively participate if they want to receive full credit. And besides, I don't think she'd let you get away with wearing a t-shirt. You've kinda pissed her off the last few days that we actually attended class, so I don't think that she's going to go easy on you." His pitiful smile annoyed me.

"I'll tell her that I need a shirt because I come from a long line of people with melanoma."

"English, dude."

"Skin cancer, dumbass." Honestly, who didn't know what melanoma was? Did he **ever** pay attention in **any** of his classes?

"Woah, woah! Watch the profanity, moneybags!" He held up his hands in defense, much like he did out in his living area, but this time he was laughing. I liked it when he laughed. The atmosphere felt so much lighter when Jounouchi laughed.

He was right, though. I hadn't exactly been very kind to our teacher lately. "I could just wear a black shirt . . . or dark blue. Something that won't become see-through if it gets wet." Yeah, that's it! I could still get in the water and still remain covered up. Oh, but my arms. Well, I think that over later.

"You'll get hot in the sun with something dark on." Was he playing the devil's advocate?

"I think it'll be worth it."

There was a sudden and loud "Holy shit!" from just outside Katsuya's door, which was followed by a muffled thud.

Startled, the two of us rushed from our places and pulled open the door, stepping out into the hallway to find his half-wit friend Honda lying on the floor with his back to the wall and his pants down around his ankles. Believe me, I can't possibly paint the perfect mental image to describe how disturbed I was by this.

"What the fuck, Honda?" Jou yelled, stealing the words right out of my mouth. He closed his eyes, "Pull your damn pants up."

He managed to get on his feet and pull his pants back up by the time the rest of the motley crew ran up.

"What happened?" Inquired the one named Anzu.

Honda spoke up before Jou and I had the chance to utter even a sound, "I had just gone to take a piss and I smelled something strange. I started looking around and then I saw the tub!" Fuck. "Jou, what the hell happened in there?"

Jou hadn't cleaned the tub. I fucking **knew** I should have been the one to take care of the cleaning! Of all places, how could he have forgotten the tub! Had the living area and his own bedroom been the only places he managed to clean? Then again, I did kind of distract him with my questioning while he was cleaning . . . perhaps he had simply forgotten to finish.

Everyone moved to peek into the bathroom and I had to act fast. I jumped in front of them, slamming the bathroom door shut and standing in front of it so that they couldn't enter. "None of you should have ever come over here in the first place. Some things happened, but they are none of your business." I gave them the most dangerous glare I could muster. "I want all of you to get out of here immediately." I could feel myself falling into my old habits, beat into me through years of rigorous training, "Should you fail to keep your mouths shut about what you've seen today, I'll see to it that you go **nowhere** in life. I'll have your names blacklisted!" Coming from just about anyone else, those kinds of threats would be laughable; but not when they came from Kaiba Seto.

Anzu, however, didn't seem convinced, "Kaiba, you can't just expect us to-"

"Anzu," Yami interrupted, "You and the others go on over to the game shop. Yuugi and I need to have a word with these two." His eyes were focused intently on me and I never once let my gaze waver. If he thought that he could best me, he was dead wrong.

There was a long, hanging silence until everyone finally left. Yuugi peeked around the corner to make sure that they were really gone. Jou moved to my side during this time, apparently intending to help me fight these two. I certainly wouldn't be needing any help. In a battle of wits, I could take the two of them alone. Even so, it was nice to have someone support me . . .

"Alright guys, explain." Yami folded his arms and Yuugi imitated him.

As if I was going to be intimidated by a couple of angry midgets.

"We don't have to explain anything. The fact of the matter is that something is going on in **my** life and it doesn't concern you."

"Doesn't concern us?" The shortest of the two acted as though I had offended him or something, "After all of the times that we have helped save either you or Mokuba, you decide that you aren't going to let us help you this time? This is the worst case so far! I think that you need as much help as you can get!" He came closer, but knew better than to get **too** close to me.

Sure, they had helped my brother and me many times in the past, but this time things were much different. "Even so, this is a bit different than those times. Mokuba is safe and sound. As long as he remains out of harm's way, then-"

"You're important too!" Katsuya blurted out, shocking everyone and apparently even himself, "Even though Mokuba isn't in immediate danger, you are." He hung his head. He seemed . . . sad.

I couldn't help but stare at him. Whose side was he on? I suppose that his intentions were well enough. He said that I am important too . . . if I am important, why won't he make his annoying friends leave me alone and get them to stay out of my business?

I turned from Jounouchi and back to the tri-colored duo, "Alright. You all want to help so badly?"

"Of course we do!" Yuugi was so eager to help that it made me sick to my stomach. He was ridiculous. Yami also nodded hurriedly. Surely their emotions weren't entirely genuine. There was definitely an ulterior motive.

Too bad my answer was going to disappoint them. "Then don't say a word about any of this to anyone. Don't you understand what it could mean for me if strange things leak out to the media?" I held my hands out without realizing I was doing it at first, "If you or any of those fools that were with you let even one word about this slip out, it could be catastrophic for me." It could. That was the last thing I needed for myself and Mokuba right now. Mokuba . . . I never wanted him to know what happened . . . never wanted him to know that I stayed in those conditions so that he could live a life of luxury.

"You say it could be catastrophic," Yami just didn't know when to give up, "but I really don't see how. We don't even know what happened. How do we know that the two of you didn't just kill someone and are now using this as a cover up?"

I wanted to laugh. I wanted to throw my head back and laugh my fucking ass off. But instead I simply tightened my lips, holding back and outburst or a mental breakdown, whichever happened first. "You know what? I **have** killed someone! And not just one person either!" What was I telling them? "But I'm telling you, the only blood in that room is my own. You can think whatever the fuck you want about the events here, but if you so much as mention one word about what you've seen here today, so help you god I **will** make you suffer."

Yuugi looked thoroughly terrified and Yami fell silent, but I still didn't feel satisfied. It wasn't enough. It could never be enough. You all know nothing about me. Calling me a liar. Just shut up.

"Seto . . ." Jou's voice came to me, a hesitant hand on my right shoulder, "You shouldn't be so harsh . . . maybe if we just told **them** . . ."

"You've killed someone?" Yami looked shock, apparently still stuck on what I had said a moment ago. What an annoying person.

"Yami!" Jou yelled, receiving only a shoulder-shrug from the smug bastard.

This was stupid. It was just so stupid. I'm so sick of dealing with other people. They just didn't get it and they only gave me headaches. Jounouchi . . . was he different?

"You know what?" I moved away from the bathroom door, heading back towards Katsuya's bedroom, "You handle this however you want, Katsuya. I can't take much more of this. If they're going to tell my secrets to the world, then that's what they're going to do. I don't think my life could get any more fucked up than it already is."

If Yuugi is really as sensitive as he lets on, perhaps a guilt trip would be enough . . .

"But Seto-"

"Katsuya." I looked back over my left shoulder, my blue eyes locking with his brown, "I trust you. I trust that however you decide to handle this situation, things will work out okay because . . .I've got you and Mokuba, right?" I turned back towards his room, "Whatever happens, happens." I went inside, closing the door behind me and sitting on the floor so that I could listen.

In all honesty, the 'whatever happens, happens' was more of my feelings about the matter. Did I trust Jounouchi Katsuya to make such a huge decision and have things turn out just fine? Not really. It was just getting to the point that I didn't know who was on my side anymore. If Jounouchi told them everything that had happened over the course of the past few days, I don't really know what I'd do.

"Well?" I could hear Yami ask.

I held my breath as my pulse picked up speed, and I didn't know who could have possibly been more nervous: Katsuya, or me?

* * *

Hooray! Finally I got this chapter out! You know, the original version of this chapter was posted just before Christmas of 2008! Here it is, the holiday season of 2009! I'm slow as ever! Well, some things just never change. I'm going to attempt the impossible and try to get another chapter of _**Behind Blue Eyes**_ out before Christmas (or on Christmas day, who knows?). I hope that you all have enjoyed this chapter just as much as the others.

Thank you for yet another wonderful year of reviews! I can't wait to see what you all have to say! Happy Holidays!


	24. Day Seven: Unexpected Return

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

**Recap:**

_In all honesty, the 'whatever happens, happens' was more of my feelings about the matter. Did I trust Jounouchi Katsuya to make such a huge decision and have things turn out just fine? Not really. It was just getting to the point that I didn't know who was on my side anymore. If Jounouchi told them everything that had happened over the course of the past few days, I don't really know what I'd do._

"_Well?" I could hear Yami ask._

_I held my breath as my pulse picked up speed, and I didn't know who could have possibly been more nervous: Katsuya, or me?_

- - -

There was a long silence in which neither Katsuya nor the Yuugis spoke a word. Was Katsuya trying to come up with a lie? Was he debating with himself whether or not to tell them the truth? Or maybe . . . maybe he was simply frozen in place, in shock that I had left him alone like that. Surely he didn't think I wouldn't be listening in.

"Well Jounouchi?" The deeper-voiced teen (is he a teenager? Some say otherwise.) asked again.

"He said that you could tell us, Jou." It was Yuugi this time, trying to egg him on.

"He said that, but . . ." Jou definitely sounded unsure of himself. I thought that he would likely tell them everything that would happen because they were all so tight-knit, but it seemed that Jou was really thinking over the consequences this time . . .

"But what?" Yuugi sounded slightly irritated, but I could tell that he was trying is best to be patient with his friend.

"I think that maybe this is a test."

A test? Jou thinks it is a test? Hm, well, I suppose that it kind of is.

"A test?" Two voices at once.

"Yeah. I know that he doesn't want people learning about his personal life. I once lost a notebook with some of his information in it and I thought he'd kill me for sure. He probably would have if I had not been able to find it."

Ah yes, that notebook. I glanced over my shoulder to see it lying innocently on the floor where he had left it beside my laptop. It was just sitting there. No password protection or anything. Yes, tomorrow he was definitely going to get a laptop and I was going to stand there until he typed everything into a word document and then burned that notebook into a powder.

"But this time he told you that you could tell us." Yami again. "He gave you permission, so he won't get angry with you."

"That's what he **said**, but I don't think that's what he **meant**." How was it that Jounouchi had come to know me so well? We had only been together for a few days and already he was catching on. I often said things that I didn't really mean. Why? Who knows . . .

I stood up and leaned gently against the door, so as not to make any noise that they could hear, and pressed my right ear up against it just in case they decided to start whispering or something.

"Kaiba has always been pretty straight-forward, Jou." Yuugi still didn't know me very well at all.

"Not always. Not when it comes to his personal life." Actually, Katsuya, not when it comes to **a lot** of things. "Listen guys, I've made up my mind. Whether this is a test or not, I'm not telling you anything."

Wonderful. So he has decided not to tell them anything, but can he hold that stance until the two of them leave? They're two of his closest friends, after all. I can't say that I'd be surprised if they were able to convince him to change his mind.

"But Jou-"

"No Yuugi. I'm sorry, but it isn't my story to tell. If Seto really wanted you to know, he'd tell you himself. He said that he trusted me to talk to you guys. He trusts that I'll make the right decision, and that's really saying something when you consider how we used to be towards each other before this whole thing began. I'm not going to ruin this. I'm not going to tell you."

Wow. He was right. The two of us used to be at each others' throats. Truth be told, it was probably because the two of us were so similar. Sure there were monetary and status differences, but not really differences in who we are. The two of us would fight anyone to protect those that we care about and we would stand up for them no matter what. The two of us would also **lie** to those that we love in order to hide our own secrets . . . kind of depressing when you think about it.

"Jounouchi," Yami was much more stern than his counterpart, "the two of you have only been under the same roof for a little under a week. What could possibly have happened during such a short amount of time that has drawn you two so close together?"

"More has happened in these last few days than you could ever imagine. It's as if I've known Seto for years, and I don't think I've even scratched the surface of learning his life history."

He was right. So much had gone on in these last few days that it could make a person's head spin.

"You've always been known for being stubborn, Jou," It was back to Yuugi now, "and that's definitely one of your strong points. Like I said to you yesterday, if things get out of hand or if things get too dangerous for you to handle, please seek our help. We're your friends, Jou, and we want to be Seto's friends too." My friends? "I hope that eventually you'll change your mind and tell us what is going on, but I know that neither Yami nor myself are going to be able to sway your decision when you seem so confident."

"Yuugi!" Yami didn't sound so pleased that Yuugi was going to give up so easily.

"Yami, as his friends it is our duty to trust him, just like Seto trusts him." Ah, so that's what friends are supposed to do.

"It is also our duty to keep him from making poor decisions!"

"I've changed a lot since I first became friends with you guys." A confession from Jou. "I used to be unsure of many decisions that I made. I used to rush into things without thinking." Sorry Jou, but you still do that. "This time, though, I'm positive that I won't regret my decision."

"Come on Yami. The others are probably waiting for us at the game shop."

There was a long bit of silence and then a distant "Just remember that you can always count on us, Jou!" from Yuugi. So were they finally leaving?

"See you later, guys!" Jou called out to them.

I took my ear off of the door, but stayed close to it, just in case they didn't actually leave, but started talking again. So he had actually been able to stand up to his friends and not tell them what had happened. I was . . . a little proud of him. Maybe Katsuya wasn't such a stupid mutt after all.

I was roused from my thoughts by a rather painful collision between the door and my head that sent me backward onto the floor.

"Ow! Stupid mutt!" I was now on the floor, legs sprawled out in front of me, using one arm to hold me up while I rubbed at the spot on my forehead that had just been whacked.

"Eavesdropping? The great Kaiba Seto? Surely not!" Jou joked, placing both hands over his heart in false shock.

"Tch, whatever." I glared at him, but not seriously. I couldn't be mad at him for real even if I tried. He had kept my secrets safe. "Why didn't you tell them?" The question was eating at the back of my mind and I couldn't help but ask him. Hopefully his answer wouldn't be something stupid.

Katsuya sat on the floor next to me, leaving the door open. "Because you'd kick my ass if I did."

I raised a brow. It **was** a stupid reason.

"Okay, okay," He began and I thought that maybe he was going to change to his **real** reason, but then he followed it with "you'd **murder** me if I did."

"Brutally." I added, deciding it was best to just join in. He was worried that I would be angry? "But honestly, I don't know what I expected you to tell them. I guess that I just figured that if it was you, you'd make the best decision and things would turn out okay." Is that really what I thought? I trusted Katsuya to make the right decision? I suppose that in the back of my mind, I really did.

"Considering what you used to think of me, you sure have an awful lot of faith in me."

He had a point, and that's what I was fighting with myself about. "I guess you're right, but I just have this gut feeling that you'll never betray me, so I'm not really worried about letting you say what you please. I mean, you even went against the wishes of two of your best friends just to keep my secret safe." I felt as though while I was speaking I was trying to reason my own thoughts to myself. It was true; even when I first came to Jounouchi's apartment, I felt like I could say anything and he wouldn't repeat it. I didn't like him much at all in the beginning, but I still had a feeling like that. He has a very trustworthy personality and gives off an aura of a faithful person . . . a faithful dog, heh.

"A gust feeling, huh?" He leaned back on his arms and gazed up at the ceiling. Had his eyes always been such an attractive shade of brown? "I'll do my best to be dependable."

I don't know what possessed me to make me do it, but I lifted my hand a bit and placed it on top of his and we just sat there like that, not saying a word. I could feel the temperature in my cheeks rising rapidly. Since when did I purposely embarrass myself? This was getting ridiculous. Even so, I could faintly feel his pulse quicken along with my own.

I felt a gentle hand on my chin that guided my face and lips toward his. I closed my eyes, readying myself for what I knew would come next. His lips were soft and his kisses were anything but demanding. Before I even noticed, I was lying down on my back. Katsuya, on the other hand, remained seated next to me, leaning over me with his hands on either side of my head for support. From this position, our lips met again.

_Looming over me. All of them loomed over me. They were all so much bigger than me, and stronger too. Bigger and stronger . . . every single one. All of them kissing my lips, my neck, my stomach, my . . ._

_Touching me, rubbing me, caressing me, kissing me, sucking me, licking me . . . no gentle hugs, so kind smiles . . . not a single one that really loved me. Even the one that said it. Saki said it, over and over. Even as he fucked me. Over and over while I cried, clinging tightly to the body that once protected me._

"I love you, I love you, I love you . . ."

_None of them loved me. Not of them loved me at all. I was just 'that cute kid' or 'that piece of ass'. I was never-_

"Seto."

I opened my eyes (when had I closed them?) to see Katsuya staring down at me, a worried look in his eyes. When had we stopped kissing? When had he leaned back away from me? Had I said something out loud? It seemed I had ruined yet another moment between us.

"With every word I said, with everything I do, with every breath I take . . . with every beat of my heart . . ."

Katsuya did. Katsuya called me Seto. Katsuya loved me.

" . . . I love you. I really, truly love you." His hands found their way under my back and I was lifted up into such a tight embrace that I thought he might stop my heart from beating.

Katsuya hugged me tightly, and not just to get a better grip.

After a time that wasn't nearly long enough, he lowered me back to the floor, wiping the wetness that I barely noticed was in my eyes. After kissing my forehead he lay down beside me, clasping his hands over his stomach while facing the ceiling.

Katsuya didn't make me do things that upset me.

How could he say something so hopelessly romantic and yet so perfect? He is . . .

"You're something right out of a chick-flick, Katsuya."

I could see him smile, "I know. Do you like chick-flicks?"

"No. But I like **you**."

We turned our heads to smile at each other at the same time before we erupted into laughter in unison.

"Just listen to us!" I choked out between fits of laughing.

"We sound like characters in a mushy romance story!" Katsuya finished for me, laughing just the same, but his expression suddenly turned sad.

"What's the matter?" I propped up on my side, looking down at him while my laughing ceased. We hadn't said anything that would upset him, so why the sad face? Had something upsetting come to mind? Characters in a mushy romance story . . . was that a bad thing?

"I was just thinking about everything that has happened this week. . . it all seems so unreal. I mean obviously it all really happened, but so many crazy things have happened in less than a week."

"I know what you mean . . ." He had a point. A lot had happened in just a few days that hadn't happened to me in years. At first I was just blaming it all on my medication switch . . . though I suppose that not taking the new medicine was contributing to the less-than-wonderful episodes I was having . . . but the incident with Saki was pure coincidence. It was just my shitty luck, I guess. "To be honest, though, the only thing that I'm still surprised about is us. I mean, never in a million years did I-"

He made the most pitiful pouty face on the planet.

"Oh would you quit that!" I shoved him and he stopped. "Anyways . . . it's a nice change. You're a nice change." Jou is a nice change. I needed a change. Life was boring .

"So are you." He admitted. I turned away from his smile when I felt the heat in my cheeks returning. "You also look great in my clothes."

I was about to smack him for saying that, but apparently he saw it coming because he was instantly on his feet and bolting out the door before I even realized it. As ridiculous as I felt doing so, I scrambled to my feet and took off after him. How dare he say something so embarrassing and then not let me hit him?

As I entered the living room the blond ran to the other side of the coffee table.

"I don't like this game." I folded my arms with absolutely no intention of playing cat and mouse.

"Only because you suck at it." He smirked, trying to get me riled up.

I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye, "No I-" The words wouldn't come out and neither would my breath. There was a man in the doorway that I had never seen before. Had Jou's friends not locked the door behind them? Who was this strange man?

I think I heard Katsuya say something, but it came to my ears as nothing but noise. Right now what he said wasn't as important as figuring out whom this stranger is and why he's in Jou's apartment. It felt like déjà vu.

"What the hell is going on in here?" He sounded like . . . well, he didn't have a very nice voice, to say the least. "Katsuya?" His eyes were on Jounouchi. Did he know him?

Jou spun around at the sound of the man's booming voice. "Dad?" Ah, so it was his father. "Y-you're home early." His stuttering, along with the nervous laugh that followed, made it obvious that his coming home wasn't such a good thing.

I had found out a bit about Katsuya's dad, enough to know that he's a worthless piece of shit. Even so, I decided to keep my mouth shut for the time being.

"Yeah, lost all my money. Why the hell didn't you talk me out of going there?"

"I tried too."

"Well you didn't try hard enough." What the hell? Was he joking? "I had to rob a damn hooker just so that I could buy a ticket to fly home." Was Katsuya really related to this nutcase? "Why is it so clean in here?"

"Because there is a guest here."

Yeah, it's not like I wasn't blatantly standing there or anything. Seriously, was their apartment **never** clean or something? Even messy people generally cleaned up for guests . . . at least, that's what I've always heard.

"You never cleaned up for any of your other friends."

"He's different than my other friends."

"What, is he your boyfriend or something? Did you turn into a fucking faggot while I was gone?!"

And that was my cue. I could tell that Katsuya was starting to shrink under the pressure. I stepped up beside him, "My name is Kaiba Seto. Perhaps you've heard of me." I wanted to add something like 'asshole' or 'bastard' but decided against it. For now I would simply play the role of high-and-mighty rich guy, so I folded my arms and titled my chin upward, "I'm chairman and CEO of Kaiba Corporation."

The older man gave me a long hard look, "You **do** look kind of familiar. What brings an attractive, rich young man such as yourself to the Jounouchi home?" Attractive? Either he was trying to brownnose me, or he was a hypocrite. I'm willing to bet it's a combination of the two.

"I'm a classmate of your son." I motioned toward Katsuya, in case the drunk forgot who his kid was, "We're working on a lengthy project for one of our classes."

"Whatever. I have a hangover from the deepest pit of hell. I'll be in my room, Katsuya." With that he went down the hallway.

Wait a minute. He was going to his room? If Jou hadn't cleaned the bathroom yet . . . did he ever manage to-

"Hey Jou?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you ever clean up his r-"

"What the **fuck**?!"

I **knew** I should have been the one to take care of the mess! Had he only cleaned up the living room?

I turned around to see him stumbling out of his bedroom. Katsuya rand up to my side just in time to see the bastard go into the bathroom . . . which, as we discovered just a bit ago, hadn't been cleaned either. Heh, oops.

"Katsuya!" He screamed, gagging. Was he vomiting? Was it really that bad? Ah, he **did** have a hangover, which likely made everything worse.

The two of us made our way to the bathroom doorway. I stood just behind Jou, trying not to get in the way of this interesting father-son moment. What would the old man do in front of someone like myself?

"Dad, I know that it looks really bad but I swear I'll clean it up right away!" Jou insisted, sounding like a frightened child. I almost wanted to smack him on the back of the head for being so submissive to such a trashy person.

I grabbed hold of his hand, which was trembling ridiculously. This whole situation wouldn't even be occurring if I had never been at his apartment in the first place, right? So . . . it was essentially my fault.

His father finally came out of the bathroom, "What did you do, Katsuya?! I've got blood on my sheets, blood on my pillow, bloody handcuffs on my bedposts, blood in the tub . . . not to mention that **smell**!" He threw his hands up in the air, "You'd better have a goddamn good explanation for this or I'll beat the shit out of both of you!" My gun says otherwise, old man. "I don't care how rich or famous your little friend is!"

An explanation? We tortured someone and then killed them? No, no, that wouldn't do. We had kinky, rough sex? Oh man . . . I don't know about that one.

"I swear to God, if you tell me that you've killed someone . . ." The older blond was fuming now. Guess I was going to go with creepy option number two.

"Alright, you caught us." I tightened my grip on Katsuya's hand, hoping he would understand that I was trying to tell him I had a plan.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jou's father shot me a glare that wouldn't even frighten a kitten.

"You caught us." I reiterated, "Kat-chan (heh, mushy pet name) and I were in your room having kinky, rough sex because you have a bigger bed than he does." Ah yes, that takes care of what happened and why it happened. I believe I've mastered the art of lying.

I put one arm across Jou's back and draped it over his shoulder and put the other arm across his chest and over the same shoulder, basically hanging off of him like some love-drunk bitch. Katsuya, on the other hand, looked mortified. "Kat-chan is just such an excellent lover that I couldn't help but writhe in pleasure and the handcuffs cut my wrists really badly so I bled all over the place. See my bandages? I washed up in the tub. We were going to clean it up, but we forgot and ended up making out in Jou's room and then fell asleep. . . in the same bed." I really liked this new pet name I came up with. Hopefully he wouldn't hate it.

I held the smile that I hadn't realized formed on my lips even when my mutt turned his head to stare at me. He looked from me and then to his father. I guess he didn't quite understand what lengths I would go to in order to keep my secrets under wraps.

"You had sex in **my** bed?!" The man was pissed, no doubt about it. Surely he wouldn't actually try to harm us, but just in case . . .

"Did I mention that I killed my father?" I could feel my smile grow into a full-blown grin, even though it wasn't something a normal person would be so happy about. Then again, what normal person would kill someone else?

His mouth snapped shut. Well, I got the reaction that I was looking for, but . . .

"I killed a guy when I was a kid too. I got away with both murders. I wonder if I could get away with it a third time . . ." I tilted my head, forcing my smile to fall into a glare. I wanted to look more intimidating than psychotic.

So far, so good. What other questions would he throw at me now? Was the interrogation going to end soon?

"W-what were you two doing when I got here?" Haha, he was stuttering. Pathetic.

I smiled when my lie instantly came to me, "We were about to have sex on the coffee table." Now I was just saying things for my own amusement.

"Oh, well . . . go ahead then . . ."

What the fuck? What kind of response was that? Woah, Seto, don't lose your edge just yet.

"Oh no, the mood is quite ruined now. Feel free to sleep on the couch while we clean up our love mess." Our love mess? Oh man . . .

I held a closed-eyed grin until I heard his footsteps disappear down the hallways and then pulled Jounouchi into his father's bedroom. I had a feeling that I needed to do a bit of explaining.

"Seto?" He didn't even need to say anything else for me to understand what he was asking.

"I know, I know, but it worked, right?" I could feel my cheeks burning. Thinking back over what I had said made me feel really ridiculous. Had I really said those weird things? It just wasn't like me, but . . . what **is** like me? What exactly am I like? I am however it is convenient to be.

"My dad thinks I'm a kinky gay sex fiend. I wouldn't say that it was an entirely bright idea."

Good point. "That may be true, but at least he won't be telling anyone else about it. Well, he'd **better** not tell anyone." I glared, pounding one fist into my other palm. My unspoken threats should be enough to keep him quiet.

"Man, he wasn't kidding about the smell." Katsuya was by the bed now, a disgusted expression on his face.

I inspected it from the other side. It wasn't as big of a mess as his father proclaimed, but it wasn't something that could simply be washed into nonexistence, "It's no good. We'll go out and buy him some new sheets." I pulled up the sheet a bit and took a peek underneath, "And a new mattress as well." What kind of bum doesn't have a mattress pad? Aren't those standard?

"Do we just throw this stuff away?"

Throw it away? "You're joking, right?" I sighed and shook my head. I guess he was new to this sort of thing. I picked up the pillow and examined it. My own blood was on these things, but it looked so foreign to me. No one should make me bleed except for **me**.

"_Be stronger than anyone else."_

"No, I'll just have some of my men come and take it tonight and dispose of it properly. I don't think that your garbage men would take too kindly to a blood-stained mattress." Yeah, that's it, just lie. Well, it wasn't exactly a lie, it just wasn't the entire truth. I don't want to ever leave evidence behind that could incriminate me or reveal my secrets. Katsuya didn't need to worry himself with details like that.

"That's true. Wouldn't your 'men' be bothered by it too?"

"I inherited many employees from my adoptive father, Gozaburo. Originally Kaiba Corporation was a military corporation. While most employees refused to work for a gaming company, several remained with me. The men that I will call had to deal with my father's work. I don't know how many people he murdered, and I don't **want** to know. But I do know that these men are capable of destroying evidence."

"Oh. Wow." He left it at that, and that was probably for the best.

Together we began pulling everything off of the bed-frame and tossing it to the floor.

"Katsuya, come here!" The bastard called from out in the living room.

Hmm, what could he possibly want? I flashed Katsuya a smile, "Go on, I'll finish up here."

He seemed unsure, "Well . . . alright. I'll be back in a second." He left, conveniently leaving the door open.

Apparently instead of taking a nap on the couch like a good buy, the guy just sat there and stewed the entire time, thinking about what I had said. What if he was really mad at Katsuya? What if he said things that were terrible enough to really upset him? Or worse . . . what if he physically hurt him? He would call out to me for help, right?

Who was I kidding? Jounouchi Katsuya was well known for his tough-guy attitude. He, much like myself, would never think about calling out like a child . . . no matter how necessary it may be.

I went back to Jou's bedroom, grabbing the **other **handgun that had been brought to me because I had left the other one on . . . the living room table. What if Jou's father had grabbed it?

I walked into the room just in time to see Katsuya land on the floor, a pained noise leaking from his lips when he was violently kicked in the side. Did that mean I was too late? No, there was still time keep it from going any further. After all, I **am** a Kaiba.

"Perhaps I didn't make myself clear." I spoke in the most chilling and intimidating voice I could muster at the moment, cocking my gun and pointing it at Katsuya's offender.

He backed away instantly, hands in the air where they ought to be, "Woah, wait!"

"I'm going to make a deal with you, old man. I'll give you the money to buy your own damn sheets and then Katsuya and I are going to pack our things and go to my house for the second half of our project. So then, you'll keep your mouth shut about all of this, right?" Not like he had much of a choice in the matter. Then again, no one really had a real choice when it came to deals made by the Kaiba family.

Now I sound like a mobster.

His eyes moved from me, to Jou, then back to me. Did he seriously need to contemplate his decision? "Fine. Damn bastard. It's not like my life is worth a damn anyways . . ."

His life wasn't worth anything? So even my threats against him wouldn't be enough to keep him quiet? In that case . . .

"I'm sorry," I smirked, lowering the gun to point at a very confused Katsuya, "what did you just say?" What would he do? Was he truly a worthless piece of shit or did he actually care even the slightest bit about his own child?

"Okay, okay! You have a deal! I won't say anything, just don't hurt my son!"

I looked him dead in the eyes. He certainly **looked** terrified, but was he really? Either way, it was good enough for now.

"Good." I lowered the gun to my side, much to the relief of both Jounouchi men, and started back down the hall, "Come, Katsuya." I mentally laughed at the fact that I just called him like a dog. It was even funnier when he scrambled to his feet to follow me.

I went around his bedroom, gathering up my things and stuffing them back into my bags. "You need to get your things together too." I told Katsuya, "Do you have any suitcases?"

"Seto, what has gotten into you?" He grabbed my shoulder and spun me around.

"What?" What was he talking about?

"You know damn well 'what'! You pointed a gun at us!"

Oh. That. Right.

"I only pointed it at you to make him keep quiet. You know that I would never shoot you." He didn't think I'd actually shoot him, did he? Did he distrust me that much?

"But if he blabbed," Katsuya continued, "would you shoot him?"

Would I? "No. You wouldn't want me to do that." Was that the truth?

"Is that the only reason you wouldn't kill him?"

What kind of question is that? Was there any other reason not to? I mean, he was a lousy father and a shitty human being. "Yes." If there was any reason at all not to kill him, that was it.

"Not because killing is wrong?"

Because killing is wrong? Man, I guess he didn't know me as well as I thought he did. "No." I looked back toward my belongings. He just didn't get it, did he? "I'm sorry, but if word got out about what has happened here . . ."

"I thought you said that you promised yourself that you wouldn't kill anyone ever again!"

Oh geez, here we go. "I wasn't thinking straight at that time."

He grabbed me by the chin this time in order to force me to look at him. Why was he being so rude? "You aren't thinking straight **now**!"

"Jounouchi!" I narrowed my eyes, almost tempted to slap him. "In this life you can be one of two things: The killer or the killed." I just so happened to be the killer.

He didn't seem to shocked by what I said, "Did Gozaburo teach you that line or is that fucked up philosophy of your own creation?"

"_I killed him . . . Satoshi . . . I killed . . . he's . . ."_

"_It's okay, Seto. You had to do it. He knew too much. In this life you can be one of two things: The killer or the killed. Remember that."_

"I think . . . I think that he taught me that . . . but it was a lesson worth learning." Yeah, that's the reason I got where I am today. "If you don't obliterate your enemies, they'll surely take you out. Heh, that's the fatal mistake that Gozaburo made." In my mind I could see him falling to his death over and over and over . . .

"Will Saki also meet the same fate?"

Saki . . . what would happen to Saki? Could I ever bring myself to kill someone that had meant so much to me? I mean, sure he was a terrible person, but . . . now wasn't the time to be discussing things like this. "Do you have any suitcases?" I asked again.

He sighed loudly, "They're under my bed. I'll pack them myself." Ah, so he had actually given up. I guess even **he** wasn't in the mood to be persistent.

"Just bring clothes and a toothbrush; everything else will be provided for you." The way that statement rolled off of my tongue . . . had I said it before?

"Maybe I don't **want **you to provide for me." He pulled a suitcase out from under his bed and opened it on the floor.

"Excuse me?" What, just because I didn't answer his question he was going to be a stubborn child now?

"I said," He stood up and go unnecessarily close to my face, "Maybe I don't want a cold-blooded murderer to provide for me!"

A cold-blooded murderer? Did he think I just fucking went around killing people for the hell of it?! What kind of thing was that to say? After I just saved his stupid ass, too! That's what I get for telling people about my past; I get called a murderer!

"So that's what I am now, huh?! A murderer?! Let's see you try to live how I have lived without killing someone! Go through the shit I've been through and then try to judge me!" I went to retrieve my cell phone to call my driver. Even if Katsuya **was** being an asshole, we still had to finish this fucking project, "You're an ungrateful bastard! Just be glad you haven't had to kill someone for the sake of someone you love!" As I pulled out my cell phone, he grabbed my hand. Now what?

"For someone you love?" What a stupid thing to be curious about.

"For Mokuba." For Mokuba . . . I did a lot for Mokuba, a lot of terrible things. Mokuba would never forgive me if he ever found out that I did it all to protect him. Mokuba was that kind of person. "I had to kill Satoshi, my close friend, for Mokuba's safety." Had I ever mentioned Satoshi to Katsuya before? The two of them looked pretty similar. Katsuya didn't appear as if he was going to say anything else, so I just continued, "If I hadn't been able to kill him, Gozaburo would have trained Mokuba in my place. I couldn't let that monster hurt my only family." I eyed Katsuya's hand, longing for him to let go of me so I could call my driver and get us the hell out of here. I didn't want to talk about Satoshi anymore.

"Seto. Seto, I'm sorr-"

"No, it's my fault. I've never really explained anything to you so you didn't know. I'll fill you in during our time at my place, okay?" Actually, I just wanted to say something to make him leave me alone about it for now. Hopefully he would eventually just forget about it.

"Alright." He seemed convinced enough. "Who were you going to call?" He finally moved his hand away.

"I'm going to call my driver to come pick us up." I glanced over at his still-empty suitcase and then smiled back at him, ""Just bring clothes and a toothbrush; everything else will be provided for you."

* * *

Hooray! Finally! Yet another chapter completed! It's amazing how changing from one point of view to another makes the second chapter longer than the original. Seto thinks too much! I hope you all will enjoy this one just as much as the others!


	25. Day Seven: Don't Tell

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

EDIT: Typo in the story has been corrected. Thanks for pointing it out!

Ah yes, another BBESS chapter. Not as many people read this story in comparison to the original . . . I wonder why. Without further ado, enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not make money from this even though I've spent years on it. Doesn't that suck? And I still don't own Yuugiou.

* * *

**Recap:**

"_Seto. Seto, I'm sorr-"_

"_No, it's my fault. I've never really explained anything to you so you didn't know. I'll fill you in during our time at my place, okay?" Actually, I just wanted to say something to make him leave me alone about it for now. Hopefully he would eventually just forget about it._

- - -

We were lucky that it was already growing dark outside when we began our transition. I made a few phone calls and men were showing up before long to take care of the current mess. The offending mattress was removed in a black bag along with the sheets and stained pillows. They were the best at destroying evidence, as I discovered during the years with my adoptive father. Could he even be called a father? I would have to think of a different name for someone like him. Adoptive pedophile? Hm . . .

The items were all loaded into a rather conspicuous box truck that was parked outside. Hopefully Jou's fellow residents would simply think that someone was getting rid of old furniture or moving. The last thing I needed was for people to get curious and try to look into the situation.

"Oh, I tore up a photo." Jou's voice came from a place inside the bedroom.

As I turned my attention to him, I saw that he was speaking to one of my men, who was inspecting a few small pieces of torn paper on the floor. "A photo?" What kind of photo would he have torn up? Had this event happened recently?

"Yeah . . ." He suddenly seemed crestfallen, though he didn't bother to downcast his eyes. The frown on his lips was enough.

"What was in the photo?" I tilted my head to show that my interest had been piqued. A photo of something that was bad enough to make him tear it to indistinguishable shreds . . . what could it possibly be?

Rather than answering me, Katsuya simply bit his lip and glanced from the men in the room and then to me, a silent way for him to tell me that it is probably a matter that shouldn't be discussed in front of them. Was it something that would be embarrassing for him or for me? Well, there was one way to rule out the second possibility.

"They know more than I'd like them to." I informed him, just in case he was worried about saying something in front of them that he shouldn't. One man faltered a bit in his searching, so I threw a glare at him to keep him in line. "Anything that you can say to me, you can say while they're here. They're all sworn to secrecy. They know better than to blab anything." As if on cue, they all picked up their pace. Were they really that intimidated by me? Honestly, it's pretty pathetic.

Katsuya still looked unsure of himself, but spoke anyhow, "Saki had tied it to the key to those handcuffs. It was a photo that he had taken of the two of you the first time that he . . ."

"_I'm going to leave a little treat for your mutt, Seto-koi."_

"I see. It needs to be destroyed, then." Every little fragment of him must be destroyed, no matter how small.

"Master Kaiba," One man stood from his place on the floor, "Are you and Saki speaking again?"

Who the hell did he think was talking to? Am I not his boss? "I believe that you have a job to do." I folded my arms, shooting him the best death-glare I could produce at the moment.

"But master Kaiba, you and Saki were-"

"Mention that name again and I swear I'll have you killed." All of them faltered yet again, nervous expressions falling upon me. They are all perfectly aware of what I'm capable of doing. "That goes for all of you. Am I understood?" They all still looked like frightened children, cowering before a man that might beat them. A part of me felt bad for it . . . they looked at Gozaburo the same way. I tried my best to not look so pissed, "Work diligently until the end. Don't I deserve that kind of favor?" I had known them all since I first stepped foot in the Kaiba mansion. They all felt sorry for me and the predicament I had fallen into, yet none of them would utter a word to save me, for fear of their own lives and the lives of those they loved. It was understandable, really. They had promised to serve me even after the death of their original master. Had they forgotten such a vow?

"Y-yes sir, master Kaiba!" They all agreed in unison, smiles coming to their faces. Ah, so they remembered. Sometimes all that employees need is a little motivation to boost their morale. Gozaburo's motivation, however, was often a bit different from my version.

As we made our way out to my limousine, more men were bringing in a new mattress and whatnot to replace what that bastard had just lost. See? I'm a nice guy.

One of the men that was helping the others stopped to assist my driver in opening the doors on one side of the vehicle to allow Katsuya and I entrance. We slid in side-by-side onto the same seat. One employee opened his mouth as though he dared to say something about it, so I held up my hand to shut him up. When I was younger, I used to feel so powerful doing that. Now, though, it's just a boring habit.

The doors were shut and we were finally ready to go to my home. Our belongings had been loaded into the trunk before we had even gone outside. Yes, everything was fine.

"Hey Seto?"

I pushed the button on the door to put the screen up between us and my driver, "Yes?"

"Why do all of your servants call you **master** Kaiba rather than **mister** Kaiba?"

"Old habit, I guess." I stared out the window. The sun was nice to look at when it was setting, "My father made them call **him** that."

"You keep calling Gozaburo your father."

What's with the sudden bombardment of curiosity? "Another old habit, I guess. I called him 'father' when other people were around."

"And when other people _weren't_ around?"

"He made **me** call him master, too."

"You had to call him master Kaiba? That's a bit-"

"No." I glanced back at Katsuya. What would his reaction be? "Just 'master'."

"Oh." I could see him fidgeting. What was he thinking? Did he find me even more weird than before? Was it awkward to be sitting in the same car as me? Did he want to scoot away? "So um . . . will Mokuba be there with us all week?"

Oh man, Mokuba. "Oh shit. I forgot about him." I ran a hand over my face. What would Mokuba do when he saw my arms? "He's going to become a nuisance."

"But you love that little nuisance."

As if he needed to remind me. "Yeah, I do." Of course I loved Mokuba. I did absolutely everything for Mokuba. I would still do anything for Mokuba, regardless of the effect it had on me.

There was yet another moment of awkward silence. Was Jounouchi Katsuya actually running out of things to say? You would think that since he ran his mouth endlessly ever since I met him that he'd always come up with something.

"Hey Seto?" Ah, so the silence wasn't endless this time either.

"Yeah?" I propped my arm up against the window, leaning my head into my hand. I didn't mind his constant talking, I guess. It was nice to have the constant noise rather than the constant silence. I didn't feel so lonely or isolated when someone was talking.

"How much does Mokuba know about all of this?"

"Probably more than I think he does. Mokuba is a snoop. He likes to put his nose where it doesn't belong. I haven't openly told him anything at all, but that doesn't mean he's clueless." I couldn't help but sigh at the thought, "Either way, please don't even bring the subject up with him. If he tries to start something, shrug it off and ignore him." Something in my gut told me that Mokuba would end up getting information out of Katsuya. Mokuba could be manipulative when he wanted to be, and I suppose that I only have myself to thank for that.

"He's thirteen now, right?"

"Yeah . . ." I closed my eyes as a smile crept to my lips. Thirteen already. I remember when he was so little and I could carry him around the house. "He grew up so fast . . ."

"You sound like a proud parent."

I opened my eyes in time to see his gentle smile in reply, "I kind of am, I guess. Even though we were adopted, Mokuba and I still relied heavily on each other." Though, that was in the past. "But now that Mokuba is older-"

"He still depends on his big brother for support and he always will." Jounouchi finished for me with his own optimistic touch. "And now," he added, "I'm gonna be depending on you too! Ya got that?" He pointed a finger, winking while flashing that grin of his. If I said it was cute, would that make me weird? I don't tend to find very many things 'cute'. Mokuba is cute. Mokuba and . . . puppies, perhaps? Ah, puppies. Puppies and Jounouchi. I guess I can say that Jou is cute.

"Heh, is that so? Typical dog."

- - -

The sun had gone down, making way for the stars in the darkened sky by the time we arrived at my house. "Well, we're here now." I informed the blond beside me. I couldn't help but sigh. I had a bad feeling that this wasn't going to be a very enjoyable week.

There was no response at all from Jou, and upon turning to glance over at him, I realized why. He was slouched over in his seat, fast asleep. I could be kind and lightly nudge him or something to wake him up, but . . . well let's face it, that just wouldn't be as fun.

So I gave him a good shove.

"Hey!" Katsuya yelled, his head snapping up from its resting position. He looked pretty pissed off, that is, until he realized I was the offender. His expression softened quickly . . . it was kind of nice to get that kind of reaction.

"Come on," I pulled on his shirt, "are you going to come in or would you prefer to sleep outside?"

We went up the stairs to the front door together. Katsuya's reaction was similar to my own reaction the very first time I was brought to the Kaiba mansion: absolute awe. It was large, no doubt, and the detail in the craftsmanship was elaborate. Who knows how old it actually is. To be honest, I don't know much about the history, nor do I really care to research it.

One of my servants, er . . . one of my **employees** went ahead of us to open the doors, but they swung open before his hand even reached the handle.

"Seto!" Called a voice that I had missed. A mass of black hair and energy flew at me at full force as my younger brother threw himself against me in a tight embrace. His hugs were something that had never changed, even though he was a teenager now. I hope they never change. Mokuba's affection is very precious to me.

"Well hello to you too, Mokuba." I greeted him after regaining my breath from the wind being knocked out of me.

"Seto . . ." Mokuba studied me from head to toe. Shit. I didn't cover the bandaging on my arms. "What are you wearing?"

Oh no. Much worse. I shot Katsuya a look, silently cursing him for talking me into wearing his clothes. "It's nothing." What else could I possibly say? There **are** times when I'm at a loss for explanations, true or not.

"Ohhhh?" Mokuba questioned, smirking as he glanced from me and then to Jou, "It sure doesn't look like 'nothing'." He chuckled. He could be such a brat.

"Ya see, Mokuba," Oh no, the blond was going to attempt to lie to a Kaiba. I was tempted to hold my ears. "Seto decided that it would be funny to let me try coffee! I took a sip, but it was really hot and it startled me, so I accidentally spilled a bunch on Seto's last pair of clothes that he brought! I let him borrow one of my outfits to wear home."

You know, if you ignore the fact that I always bring several extra outfits when I go anywhere, his lie was actually relatively believable. It wouldn't be strange at all if he did something stupid and something bad happened to me because of it.

"_If he was here, you wouldn't have called out __**his**__ name when I knocked on the door. He isn't here at all. He's out having fun and you stayed behind. It's likely to be dark before he gets back."_

No. Katsuya hadn't done anything stupid that time. He just went out with his friends like any normal guy his age. Any normal guy. Normal.

"Hmm . . ." Mokuba rubbed his chin while he decided whether or not he would believe Katsuya. "Sure, that sounds likely enough."

Wow.

"But!" Mokuba began again, "Since when did you call him by his first name?" He grinned.

Fuck.

Well, he **is** my younger brother, so I suppose that I shouldn't have underestimated him for even a second.

"Since . . ." I guess that Jounouchi didn't have a comeback for that one.

"Since I told him that he could. Since when did you become such a nosey little boy?" I put my hand on Mokuba's head, ruffling his hair. I wonder if he knows how much I like doing that.

"I'm not a little boy!" Mokuba seized my harm, pulling my hand away. I couldn't help but make a disappointed expression. No, Mokuba isn't a little boy, so why do I keep treating him like one? "What happened?" Before I could figure out what he was questioning, my brother grabbed hold of both of my hands, doing what I had previously feared.

He was staring at my arms.

It was only a matter of time, really. I hadn't exactly done anything to hide them. I'm actually surprised that he hadn't said anything sooner. Perhaps he was waiting to see if I would say something first.

"Ah, it's nothing to worry about." Yeah, that's it, just lie with a straight face like I always do. Lie, lie, lie, just like I was trained to do.

"That's a load of crap, Seto, and you know it!"

"I promise that I'll explain it to you later, okay?"

He released my hands, just as I'd hoped, looking a bit skeptical, "You better."

Unfortunately my brother wasn't as scatter-brained as Katsuya; my brother wouldn't forget my promise to reveal information, unlike Jou who has forgotten about such promises several times already. Though I **had** been able to divert Mokuba's attention away from Jou calling me by my first name.

Mokuba turned to go back inside and Jou and I followed. We made it far enough in to close and lock the door behind us before my younger brother quickly spun on his heels. "You thought I had forgotten, didn't you?!" He smirked, pointing an accusing finger at me. What? Was he a mind-reader now? Had I said that out loud? "I want to know why you two are so close all of the sudden!"

Ugh. Yup, he was definitely different from Katsuya. I guess that spending so much time away from Mokuba made me kind of slack.

"Why are you so curious about my love life?"

Son a bitch.

I quickly covered up my mouth, but not before the words had already escaped me. Now **I** was the one saying things before thinking! Maybe Mokuba didn't quite catch that.

Judging from the size of his eyes, however, he hadn't missed a thing. "Love life?"

I left my right hand over my mouth while Mokuba contemplated my statement. My hand was probably the only thing keeping me from screaming obscenities at Jounouchi for turning me into an idiot.

"Hahahaha!" Mokuba bent over with laughter, clutching at his stomach and pretending to wipe away a tear, "Yeah right! You two are hilarious!" He stood up straight again, running straight to me. I released the breath that I had apparently been holding as he pulled my hand away from my mouth. "Ya know, you almost had me fooled! You and Jounouchi? Pfeh! Not in a million years! Hahaha!" He elbowed Jou, but I wonder how the blond felt about that statement.

The blond in question forced out a laugh, "Aww man!" He played along, "I thought for sure that we got ya!" He snapped his fingers, "Darn. We'll get you next time, though."

Jou seemed to be pretty good with younger people. Well, perhaps he was good with people in general. He was what people call a 'social butterfly'. That sure sounds gay, not that I have much room to talk right now.

I suppose I should say something, "And here I thought that I was a brilliant actor." I casually ran a hand through my hair, heaving another sigh. We had barely escaped that one. I guess it was a good thing that Mokuba wasn't as intuitive as I had thought.

"You guys are nuts!" Mokuba shook his head, "Anyways, I've got a couple friends coming over here in a little while, so I'm gonna go have the cooks make some snacks! See ya!" With a hyper wave, he darted off.

Friends coming over? Since when did Mokuba ever invite friends to the house? Usually they just went out together.

Jou and I stood there for a moment. Perhaps he was as surprised and relieved as I was, or maybe he thought Mokuba was gullible all along and he was just waiting for me to say something first.

"So uh . . ." Okay, so he wasn't waiting for me at all.

"That worked out nicely." I finished for him. Did it really work out so nicely? Something seemed a bit off and a bad feeling was gnawing at me, "Mokuba's usually a lot better at reading me. I mean, I don't really joke like that with him, at least not about a fake homosexual romance." I made a face, "You know, it sounds a lot worse when I word it like that." Homosexual romance? Kaiba Seto is in a homosexual romance . . . no, let's not word it like that ever again.

"A lot worse? As in, it's bad as it is?" He pouted. Would it be correct to say that he was giving me puppy eyes? Ah, that was a stupid joke. Katsuya makes me say stupid things without even trying.

"Well, some people view it that way." No, it wasn't really a bad thing at all, but our relationship is still a bit strange. "It's just you and I . . . we're so . . ." How could I word it without his taking it the wrong way?

"Different." Though he said so himself, he looked crestfallen.

The truth is, we're only different in our living circumstances. When I look at us as individuals, however, the similarities begin to pile up. I wonder . . . if my parents had not passed away and Mokuba and I had grown up with our original parents in our originals lives . . . would I have turned out to be like Katsuya? Minus the nasty cheeseburgers, of course. No, maybe if I grew up normally, I would like that sort of thing just like everyone else.

"Actually, I think I've told you before that we're both very similar." I looked Katsuya in the eyes, trying my best to cheer him up with the kindest smile I could muster, "You denied it before, but I've discovered the truth; both of us hide hour true selves because we're ashamed."

Ashamed. That's what came out of my mouth, but was I admitting it or was I just talking out of my ass? Lies, lies, lies. I've told so many of them that I often forget what the truth is.

Jou looked thoughtful, "I think I remember that conversation. I wear the mask of a funny guy and you wear the mask of an asshole."

"Actually, I really am an asshole." No really, I am. Just ask the people I do business with.

Katsuya caught be off guard a bit when he shoved me playfully and we laughed together for a short moment. I liked it better when we were lighthearted together. Being serious all the time was rather boring.

Jounouchi suddenly turned his head and I followed his eyes, but found nothing worthy of sudden attention. "What is it?" I questioned, studying the wall that he thought was so interesting.

"I thought I saw someone."

"Oh . . ." Damn, who could have seen us? "It was probably just a maid or cook or something. They're nosey." The maids weren't actually in the house, as they only came once a week and today wasn't that day. There were cooks, but they should have been in the kitchen with Mokuba. Unless Mokuba really **was** lying when he said he had friends coming over, in which case it could have been a cook or Mokuba that Katsuya saw. **Or** I could be seriously over-thinking this whole thing and Jou could be secretly laughing at me for believing that he saw someone.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Nah. They know better than to gossip about me." I winked and started up the stairs with him following at my heels. Everyone knew better than to gossip about a Kaiba. My adoptive father Gozaburo set that standard long before I even became a Kaiba.

"You're creepy when you say things like that." He actually sounded a bit creeped out as he said so.

"So I'm creepy and my house reminds you of the hotel from The Shining. Anything else?" I teased, turning my head to stick my tongue out at him over his shoulder.

"No master."

"_No master."_

Ugh, no, this was Katsuya and he was making an innocent joke. "Good dog." I replied, laughing a little. The lines between the past and the present just kept on blurring together. Perhaps I ought to be taking the medicine after all . . .

I led Katsuya to the guest room nearest to mine and Mokuba's bedrooms. Since Mokuba would be with us the entire time, Katsuya would have to sleep in his own bedroom. It's weird to think about it, but I'm actually a bit sad that we have to stay in separate rooms. I guess I really **do** like him, huh? This kind of feeling reminds me of . . . there I go again. Just forget it. Forget him.

"This is going to be your room for the week." I opened the door and flipped on a light.

To my surprise, he actually smiled. "Sure looks roomy." Ah, I guess that he wasn't used to this kind of room, so perhaps it was actually exciting for him after all, even though he and I couldn't share a room. At least he would be happy.

I heard the sounds of heavy footsteps walk behind us and turned to see a few of my men carrying my belonging to my bedroom.

"Hold on a minute," I called, following after them, "One of those is laundry."

They stopped just inside my door and so I left Jounouchi to go meet them.

"Here, bring the bags inside so I can open them up and figure out which is which." They quickly obeyed, not uttering a single objection or rolling their eyes. They were very obedient. That was yet another precedent that Gozaburo set.

They placed the bags on my bed and I unzipped each one, checking inside until I found the laundry. "This is it. Will you take it down to be washed?" Don't say please, don't use pleasantries. Was that really how I ought to ask for a favor? Jounouchi would probably get mad at me for it. He was kinder than me and I was better at logic than him. I guess that's why they say a spouse is a better half. Woah, spouse? Seems I need some sleep.

"Yes, master Kaiba." They chimed in unison, bowing slightly as one man took the bag and all departed the room.

Master Kaiba? I am not Gozaburo. To be completely honest with myself . . . I feel that he is still the master and I am still the servant. Even after his death, I still do as I was told to do, I still be have as I was taught to behave, I still utter the same responses that were beat into me. Even in death, he is still the master.

I pulled the clean clothes out of the bags and hung them in my closet, but I really wanted to just fall to the floor and curl up. I'm alone. Mokuba is growing up and Mokuba will leave and I will be completely alone here in this house.

I slung the empty suitcases into the closet and shut the door. Alone. I used to like being alone, didn't I? I'm alone because I trust no one. Because I was told to trust no one. Because Gozaburo told me to trust no one. Again, it was him.

"Damn it to Hell!" I punched my bed. Why was I yelling? It has always been this way. I have never been in control. Even when I killed that bastard, I bet that he had seen it coming all along. He knew I would kill him and someday be all alone in this giant, creepy house that was crawling with terrifying memories of him.

And yet . . . I didn't have to be alone. I could invite someone to live with me so I wouldn't be alone . . . but would he accept?

I ventured back down the hallway to wear I knew the person of my thoughts would be, only to find that the door was shut and . . . locked? Why on Earth would he lock it? Was he taking a nap?

"What are you doing, Katsuya?" I called through the door, knocking a couple times, "Are you in there?"

"Nothing, Seto!"

What the fuck?! "Mokuba?! What are you two doing in there?"

The door suddenly swung open and Mokuba zipped past me, disappearing down the hall. I eyed Jounouchi.

"Well, I came in here and was having a look around when Mokuba came in and locked the door."

I raised one brow. Mokuba came in and locked the door? Why would he do something like that? He must have said something to Jou. "And?" I questioned, pressing for more information.

"Aaaaaand . . . I dunno." I fidgeted, "He was just worried about you."

"Worried?" Worried about what? That sounded like it might be true, but I think there is a piece of the story that Jounouchi is conveniently leaving out.

"Your arms."

I should have known. "I told him that I'd explain to him what happened." I shook my head, sighing. So he was probably trying to get Jou to tell him what happened. I hope with every fiber of my being that he didn't slip up. Perhaps I showed up just in time, but Mokuba seemed pretty happy about something when he took off.

"Oh yeah," the blond continued, "And our act earlier didn't fool him at all. He knows there's something going on between us."

So Mokuba hadn't actually changed after all. That was a relief. "Really?" I asked, though he didn't have to prove it to me. I should have gone with my gut instinct all along. "Hm." I glanced down the hall, to catch Mokuba peering out of one of the other guest rooms before pulling his head back in to keep me from seeing him. That little spy. "Alright then. Get your things and come down to my room."

"Yes!" Katsuya grabbed his belonging and practically ran to my bedroom. I followed at a relatively quick pace.

Upon entering my room I saw the blond burying his face into one of my pillows and inhaling. Was he trying to **smell** me or something? I furrowed my brows as I stood a few feet from the bed. What the hell?

"Um . . . creepy?"

He rolled over, smiling upon seeing me, "Haha, sorry. Your bed just looks so soft and comfy." That was his reason behind sniffing one of my pillows? "I get to sleep in here with you, right?"

I turned my head when I felt the temperature in my face rising. "Um, yeah." I eyed his belongings.

I didn't have to be alone.

"You can hang your things in the closet, you know."

Jounouchi was often alone too, wasn't he?

"Are you okay?" He sat up. "Was it because I sniffed your pillow?"

I couldn't help but laugh as I shook my head in response, "No, not that at all. That was weird, but it didn't really bother me." Actually, it did kind of bother me. Only stalkers and obsessed fangirls sniff pillows.

"Okay, but you didn't answer my first question; are you okay?"

What brought this on? Was it because I told him he could hang his clothes up in my closet? Did that bother him? Did that mean that he wouldn't move in with me? "Of course I am."

"That means no."

Was I talking to Mokuba or something? "How does that mean no? I just said I'm okay."

"No, you said '**of course** I'm okay', which everyone knows means no."

I narrowed my eyes. What kind of logic was that? "I'm just thinking about something, that's all." I rubbed at the back of my head, going back to my closet and opening it.

"It's kind of empty for such a big closet." Jou observed, following me inside.

"So there's plenty of room for your stuff, right?" Was I sounding desperate? I wasn't desperate, I was just . . . lonely? Oh man, I don't know which sounds worse. I inspected some of my own clothing so that I didn't look nervous or uneasy.

"I've only got a few things with me, so it's not really necessary to hang them up." I heard him laugh, but refused to look at him. Looking at him would only make my heart pound faster than it already was. Why was I so damn nervous? Would rejection really be so awful? "Seto, what is it that you're thinking about?"

Damn! Was not looking at him actually making him more suspicious rather than less? "I was thinking that . . . I was thinking that there was enough room for your entire wardrobe in here." Yeah, just kind of hint at it. Don't sound desperate . . .

"Uh, well yeah, that's probably true . . . but I don't have my entire wardrobe with me." He eyed me suspiciously. Oh no! What if he thought I was bragging about how huge it was?

"I was thinking that all of your belongings would fit in my room, too." No, that also sounded like bragging. What could I add to clarify? "I mean, you wouldn't need to bring your furniture or anything . . ." Talking was usually my specialty, but when it came to simple things like this, I was seriously lacking.

A shocked look came to his eyes, "Are you asking me to move in with you? Like, permanently?"

Leave it to Katsuya to ask me so bluntly like that. It would be embarrassing to answer such a forward question, but before I even had the chance to utter a word, he quickly turned his head toward my bedroom door, much like when he looked at the wall downstairs. "What?" I asked, peering in the same direction, but just as before, nothing was there.

"I thought I heard something."

I could help but laugh a little. First he was seeing things and now he was hearing things. Was my house really that creepy? The nightmares of this place are long gone and only the horrible memories remain, engrained in the minds of those that experienced them. "Did you hear a ghost?" I taunted, smirking. It couldn't hurt to scare him a little, right?

"Oh shut up." He shoved me, trying to play it tough, but I could see a bit of uneasiness on his face.

"What's the matter?" I brought my face close to his own, "Are you scared?"

"No!" He scrunched up his face and folded his arms, "I know it's not haunted, so quit it."

Oh yeah, he was scared for sure. This was going to be a fun week. "How can you say that?" I backed away, the close proximity making my pulse quicken, "Gozaburo lived her. He had many guests over. Many, many, many guests . . ."

"_Seto? Won't you come over and introduce yourself to our guests? They'll be staying with us tonight."_

No, not those kinds of guests! "And in all honesty," I continued where I believe I left off, "not all of them left the way that they came in."

To my surprise, Jou laughed. "You mean they left out a different door. That's what you were going to say, right? You're cunning, but I'm catching on."

So he thought I was joking? "No, Jou. That's absolutely not what I was going to say."

Kaiba Corporation was originally a military corporation. We manufactured things like tanks and weaponry. This being so, Kaiba Gozaburo was ruthless, both with his business partners and his enemies. He was no kinder to me. Kaiba Gozaburo was about as unforgiving as they come, and he proved that point again and again. Go against the Kaiba family and consider your life forfeit. It wasn't in writing, of course, but it was well known throughout the militant business and even beyond.

Though I was being serious, the bug-eyes that Katsuya was now sporting were enough to make me crack a smile. I suppose I shouldn't be scaring him. I didn't want him to be uncomfortable during his stay here. He **did** clean his house before I came over, so I should also try to make his stay pleasant. (A/N: Hehehe.)

"But really, I've never seen or heard ghosts, so there probably aren't any." I shrugged, trying to ease his nerves. I rummaged through some of my clothes until I found a set of pajamas. "I'm going to go in the bathroom and change clothes and change these bandages. I'll be out in a bit, okay?"

He pouted and for a moment I thought he was going to try to get me to change out in the room like he had previously, but he didn't. "Awww, okay."

I rushed into the bathroom in an attempt to hide the pink that I knew was tinting my cheeks. Why didn't it bother me that he wanted to see me without clothes? Well, putting it **that** way, it does kind of bother me. Still . . .

I opened the medicine cabinet, retrieving a roll of bandaging and some hydrogen peroxide. I made a mental note to get some more.

I make quick work of pulling off the bandaging. Who had put them on? Was it Katsuya? I couldn't remember him telling me. Either way, the person did a pretty good job; there was only a small mess of dried blood to clean off of the skin surrounding the lacerations. They sure brought back memories . . .

"Do you need any help?"

I almost jumped at the sound of Katusya's voice. Ah, I had forgotten to close the door behind me. Would he have come in anyway? I was getting careless lately. "No, I'm pretty good at this. I used to have to do it all the time."

"From when Gozaburo hurt you?"

Heh, that man's abuse was more mental than anything. He typically let others do the dirty work, though that's not to say that he didn't do . . . those _other things_. "No." Came my brief answer. The cuts were always my own fault. I either cut myself or struggled against bindings, which is where my current cuts came from. I shouldn't have struggled; it was always useless, then and now, and only served to hurt **me** in the end.

We were staring at each other's reflections in my mirror.

"What are you going to tell Mokuba?"

"I'll tell him that I did it." Mokuba would probably get pretty pissed off, but I couldn't possibly tell him the truth. I'm not sure how much Mokuba really knows about what happened between Saki and me. When Saki and I broke off whatever the hell it was that we had, I told Mokuba that he was mean and hit me . . . that was enough to make him hate Saki and not ask any more questions. Again, lies saved me.

"What?" Katsuya furrowed his brows, "Why?"

"Oh, come on." He was acting like I was such a horrible person. "I couldn't possibly tell him what really happened." I glared down at my wrists, unable to stare at that look on his face anymore. I grabbed the bandages and the hydrogen peroxide and brought them closer so that I could finish.

"Won't that burn?" I suppose that Katsuya wasn't going to push the matter any further. It seems he's learning where my limits are.

"I guess." Did it burn? The wounds themselves already hurt enough on their own. Besides, a little burning is nothing compared to the pain I've felt in the past.

I pulled out a bag of cotton balls and used them to apply the peroxide. Hm, it did sting a little, but it wasn't as bad as people always make it out to be.

"Mokuba knows a lot more than you are willing to realize, Seto. I think he'd feel better knowing that you didn't hurt yourself."

Scratch what I said about him learning my limits. What exactly did Mokuba really say to him in that guest room? "I'm not telling him." I continued my work in hopes that he would give it up.

"Then I'll tell him for you." He turned to leave.

Tell him for me?! Was he fucking stupid? I grabbed him by the arm and used every ounce of energy I had to yank him back until he fell to the floor. Like hell I was going to let him say something like that to **my** little brother!

"Do it and I swear I will make you regret the day you met me." I would. I would and I could. No one messes with Mokuba. If I don't want Mokuba to know something, then he won't know and I would literally **kill** in order to protect him.

"Seto?"

"When it comes to Mokuba, no one else is more important. I will decide what he is told. Don't fuck with Mokuba."

He sat there, quiet. Maybe I finally got through that thick skull of his. Sometimes Katsuya could be so stupid, and I suppose that's one of the things that always annoyed me about him. Well, that and the fact that he was surrounded by friends that cared about him . . .

"You're just ashamed." He finally accused, still on the floor at my feet.

"What?" Ashamed? Ashamed of what?

"You're just too embarrassed and ashamed about what happened to tell the person that cares the most about you. You aren't thinking of Mokuba's feelings at all!"

Not thinking of Mokuba's feelings? . . . no. Mokuba would definitely rather hear the truth. He'd be upset if he knew how often I lied to him. He's my only family, the only person that ever stayed by my side regardless of how mean I may have been to him, and yet I can't even do him the simple favor of being open and honest with him.

"Maybe so." I leaned over the sink with my hands on the counter to hold myself up. I had to escape the heavy gaze of those brown eyes. "Maybe so, but wouldn't you also be ashamed? I could never tell Mokuba something like that." I could see him stand up beside me, so I glanced down at the medical supplies in order to keep from looking at him . . . but that just pissed me off even more. I had used those damn things so many times. Was it fair? Was it fair that I had to go through all of that fucking shit then and even now? It was for Mokuba! I went through all of that shit so that he could live a happy, luxurious life! I worked hard to make him happy and I wanted him to stay happy! He doesn't need to know those horrible things! I couldn't tell him!

I swung my right arm, satisfactorily sending the items flying against the wall behind us. "I could never!"

"Seto . . ."

I ran a hand over my face and stood away from the sink. I needed to calm down. Yelling and screaming wasn't going to change anything, and if Mokuba heard me, I'd be in an even deeper hole than I already am. I stared at the mess on the floor, "Listen, Katsuya. Please don't tell Mokuba, okay?" I dared to lock eyes with him, hoping that perhaps my request would have more of an effect that way.

"Don't tell me what?"

I leaned to look around the blond as he spun on his heels to face the doorway. I knew very well who that voice belonged to.

Mokuba.

* * *

Next up, another chapter of Behind Blue Eyes! I hope that you all liked the chapter! 'Scuse the random Author's Note that I threw in there; I just couldn't help but do that. I'm sure you all would have laughed at the innuendo anyhow (don't get excited though; Seto didn't mean it like that). Please don't forget to leave reviews! See you in the next chapter!


	26. Day Seven: Mokuba

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

After a million years of waiting, the new chapter is here! Please enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I'm writing this for the hell of it. I wish I could make money off of this, I really do. But alas, I do not and I never will. Yugioh isn't mine to have or profit from. What a pity.

* * *

**Recap:**

_I ran a hand over my face and stood away from the sink. I needed to calm down. Yelling and screaming wasn't going to change anything, and if Mokuba heard me, I'd be in an even deeper hole than I already am. I stared at the mess on the floor, "Listen, Katsuya. Please don't tell Mokuba, okay?" I dared to lock eyes with him, hoping that perhaps my request would have more of an effect that way._

"_Don't tell me what?"_

_I leaned to look around the blond as he spun on his heels to face the doorway. I knew very well who that voice belonged to._

_Mokuba. _

- - -

"What have I told you about coming in without knocking?" I glanced to the supplies that I had slung to the floor. What excuse could I make? Easy. I could tell Mokuba that Jou pissed me off, that is, if Mokuba even asked. I had to remain calm no matter what; Getting angry only made me look suspicious.

"The door was open."

The door was open? Sure the bathroom door had been left open, but I'm pretty sure that I closed the bedroom door. "Even my bedroom door?" I questioned. Either some nosey employee opened it or Mokuba opened it himself.

"I don't like it when you hide things from me, Seto!" Ah, so he had opened it himself.

I didn't need to look at him to know that he had a pitiful expression on his face. "I'm not hiding anything from you." I lied, just like always.

"You're lying! Is it really so bad that you can't even tell me, your only family?"

There was a waver in his voice that caused a pain to run through my chest. "It's not like that at all." Mokuba didn't know those kinds of things. Mokuba only needed to be happy and carefree, just as he had always been.

"Then what **is** it like, Seto?" He grabbed my left arm, trying desperately to make eye contact with me, but I wouldn't allow it. The last thing I needed was for him to make that pitiful expression and my collected demeanor would crumble.

I glanced at my own reflection in the mirror instead, only Mokuba's black hair visible from this angle. I felt like an asshole. "It's not like that." I couldn't tell Mokuba no matter how much he wanted to know, not matter how much he begged and pleaded and got upset with me.

"You're not answering me!" He gave my arm a strong tug, but he was still weaker than he realized.

"Maybe when you're older." Another lie. I had no intention of ever telling him what really went on between Saki and I or between me and anyone else from the past. I seemed to use the 'maybe later' lie a lot. People were forgetful and I used that to my advantage.

Mokuba let out a growl as he slung my arm back down toward the countertop, "Seto, I'm thirteen already and I know a lot more than you think I know!"

I looked down at him. Knows more than I think he knows? Mokuba could be tricky, sometimes. He often says things with double meanings to see if you give him any clues. He could very well mean that he knows a lot of general things because he is 13 now, but he could also mean that he knows certain details about the past that I'm not aware he knows about. I couldn't panic too much on the outside, lest he discover that I'm definitely hiding something worth panicking about. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Mokuba's eyes went downcast before they met with mine again, "It means that you can tell me anything; that's what family's for."

What family . . . is for . . . "Mokuba-"

"Seto? Can we go talk in my room?" His eyes flickered toward a certain blond who had been keeping quiet this whole time. I had actually forgotten about him.

"Mokuba, that's rude." I didn't want to talk to Mokuba alone, at least not right now. Something was off about the way Mokuba was acting. He had asked me about the events of the past before, but usually I would just make up a very simple lie and he would accept it without further questioning. What makes this time so different?

"It's okay," Jou spoke up for the first time since Mokuba appeared, "I'll just go see if I can find the kitchen or something."

My heart's paced quickened. There was no way in hell I was about to let him leave me in this situation. It was his fault after all, right? "No." I grabbed his arm, eyes still focused on my awkward younger brother, "Mokuba, I will speak with you later."

"But Seto-"

"But nothing. Don't you have friends coming over shortly?" Maybe I really **was** more of a parent to him than an older brother. The comparison used to annoy me, but truthfully I can see where people get the idea.

Mokuba narrowed his eyes at me, which he had started to do more often as of late, "Fine, but before you go to sleep tonight, you have to tell me everything!" With that, he finally left.

I couldn't help but heave a sigh, "I swear, he is getting to be more of a pain in the ass every day." I guess now I understand why people always talk about how awful their teenagers are. Was I like that when I was his age? No, I wasn't allowed to be that way. I was obedient . . . for the most part.

"Do you still intend to lie to him?"

"Jounouchi, please don't involve yourself in my family affairs." I was catching hell from the both of them. Why can't people mind their own business? Sure, he's supposed to write about my life, but that doesn't mean that he can interfere with it. If I don't want my brother to know about the horrible things that happened, then that is my decision.

"Oh, right. It's not like you got involved with **my** family affairs when we were at my place. You even went so far as to lie to my father about what really happened."

"I saved your ass!" What the hell did he expect me to do, let him get his ass kicked by his own father?!

"You saved your own ass!"

"Have you already forgotten who held the gun to his head so that he would stop hurting you? Have you forgotten who cleaned up all of that blood?"

"That blood wouldn't have even been there if you hadn't come to my apartment in the first place!"

I took a step back, chest heaving and I thought my heart might stop. The blood wouldn't have been there if _**I**_ hadn't been there. It was my fault. It was the truth, wasn't it? If I hadn't been . . . taken advantage of . . . that blood wouldn't have been in there.

"Well excuse me for getting attacked." I tried to sound tough, but I could feel tears stinging at the backs of my eyes. I knew better than to cry. I made the mistake of showing him my weak side way too many times already. I couldn't cry in front of him, not in front of anyone.

"Seto," He looked flustered. Did he feel guilty? "I didn't mean it like-"

"Attacked?!"

The two of us rushed out of the bathroom only to discover none other than Mokuba with his back flush against the wall.

"Mokuba!" Forget being pissed off at Jounouchi for a second! I swear, Mokuba was getting more and more nosey every day! "Why aren't you with your friends?"

Mokuba leaned away from the wall, an obvious smirk on his lips, "They decided not to come after all."

"All of them?" I knew it! He never had any coming over in the first place! Little shit.

"Yes."

I closed my eyes, heaving a sigh to bury my anger. How many times have he and I been through this? He always tries to lie to me and he ought to know that I always catch him. "There weren't any friends coming to begin with, were there?"

His eyes went to the floor, a sure sign of guilt, "No."

Ah, so he wasn't going to try to fight this time. "Why did you lie to me?" He was lying more and more lately, and about the most ridiculous things, too.

"Why do **you** always lie to **me**?"

This was definitely 'gang up on Seto' day. I turned my back towards the two males staring at me, "I think I'm going to take a long, hot bath. Why don't the two of you go find something to do?" I went inside the bathroom, slamming the door shut before either of them could utter a word.

I heard myself let out an obnoxious sigh of relief as I rubbed at my face with both hands. What the hell? It has been one bad event after another ever since this stupid project began on Saturday. I knew from day one that nothing good could come from something so intrusive. Live together for two weeks and write about the other's life? Sounds like whoever made up this assignment was just nosey and bored.

I need a shower. Or a bath. Something.

I turned on the water to let it run until it was warm and filled the tub. I, meanwhile, stripped down. I hated taking my clothes off, as weird as that may be. I remember having to take them off with whistling spectators. Teenage boys aren't strippers; they're teenage boys!

I punched the counter and then bit my lips, worried that either Mokuba or Jounouchi might have heard. Jounouchi? Why do I keep doing that? It's Katsuya now, right? He called me Seto, so I should call him Katsuya. It would certainly take some getting used to.

I avoided looking in the mirror as I grabbed a washcloth and hopped into my steaming bath. It felt absolutely fantastic. The warmth of the water soothed all of the places in which I ached . . . which was basically everywhere at the moment. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the tile. And yet even in such a relaxing state, I couldn't help but think about what I would tell Mokuba. I kept telling myself that I should just lie to him. That would be the best for Mokuba, wouldn't it? But . . . I was doubting myself, doubting my decision. It's not like I've ever made a bad choice before (right?). Who could I possibly ask for advice?

"_I just can't take it anymore!" I buried my face into his shirt, knowing he wouldn't be mad if I got it wet with my tears._

"_Seto, there are very few things worth dying for in this world." His smile was brighter than the brightest star, "You have to continue living so that someday you can get justice for the way you've been treated." His silver eyes stared down at me with absolute concern . . ._

. . . or did they? Saki . . . what happened? What went wrong? I had always gone to him for advice. He's the one that stopped me from making stupid choices so many times. I wonder if I would even be alive today if it weren't for his intervention. Now, though, who could I trust to guide me?

"_You're just ashamed." _

Katsuya . . .

"_You're just too embarrassed and ashamed about what happened to tell the person that cares the most about you. You aren't thinking of Mokuba's feelings at all!"_

When it comes to subjects like grammar and mathematics, Katsuya was towards the bottom of the list. With other people, however, Katsuya just seems to understand everyone. It's as though he has an instruction manual in his head that tells him exactly how to get along with every type of person. Even when he hates someone in the beginning, he befriends them in the end! It just doesn't seem possible! His advice wasn't anything like Saki's. Saki always sounded kind while Katsuya sounds harsh. Is this what they call 'tough love'?

. . . but isn't someone like that exactly what I need? I have the 'booksmarts', so to speak, while Katsuya has the 'peoplesmarts'. We fit together like a puzzle!

Ahh! Not like **that** though! Well, I mean, we could, but . . . what the hell am I thinking?!

I shook my head, sloshing the water around as my body shook slightly along with it. Perhaps the warmth of the water was getting to me, though it wasn't as hot as I'd like for it to be. I'd have to use the hottub for that. I wonder if Jounou- er, Katsuya has ever been in a hottub before. Maybe someday during his stay I would ask him to join me in it. Would that be awkward? Ugh, I'm terrible with people! The only people skills I have mastered are the skill of being an asshole and the skill of seduction. I think both are self-explanatory.

I made quick work of washing my body and hair. I had started to scrub furiously at the arms that I had only recently bandaged (after removing the fresh bandages of course), but that only made them worse. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I always made things worse. It's not like it would just disappear because I scrubbed at it for eternity. It had to heal and until it healed, it would be ugly. Maybe it would be permanently ugly . . . not that these scars would be distinguishable from those that were already there.

I got out, towel-drying my skin and then wrapping said towel around my waist. Once again, I wrapped my wrists. The cuts weren't as deep as I had initially thought, so the healing process shouldn't take too terribly long.

I reached to my left to pick up the outfit I was going to wear . . . only to discover that in my hurry to get away from Katsuya and Mokuba, I hadn't actually brought any in with me. "Ugh, getting reckless." I informed only myself. It was true, though. Ever since I'd been hanging around Katsuya, I had begun to get more and more careless. Forgetting to lock doors, forgetting clothes to change into . . . what would I do next? At least this time my actions wouldn't be harmful to me. That is, unless I walked out of the bathroom in a towel only to find a certain blond waiting for me.

Would that be harmful? No, I guess not. Katsuya didn't seem to be making awkward advances any more. What was up with that, anyways? I never imagined Katsuya as an aggressive pervert at all, so why had he acted that way? Maybe I really pissed him off that much before this project. I suppose that everyone has at least a hint of evil within them.

I leaned against the door, listening for voices out in my bedroom, but there were none. So the two of them had actually left the room just like I asked? Or maybe they knew that I was out of my bath and were waiting quietly until I came out . . . or maybe I was just being paranoid.

"_Why do __**you**__ always lie to __**me**__?"_

Damn.

I emerged from the bathroom, wearing only my towel, to find that the room truly was empty. I started to go towards my closet to get something to wear, but I saw that my door was still standing slightly open. What's more is that I could hear the voices of Jou and Mokuba coming from the hallway. I crept closer, trying not to make the floor creak under my weight, and hid behind the door, listening.

"You'll just have to cross your fingers and hope that Seto tells you what you want to know. Either way, Seto will always do what he thinks is best for you. He loves you more than anything and anyone else, Mokuba."

So Mokuba was trying to get information out of Katsuya again? Was this going to be a problem the entire week?

"Oh man, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you-"

"No. You aren't the one that makes me cry; my brother is."

What? I make him cry? Why? What the hell did I do? I peeked around the door to see that Mokuba was nowhere in sight. Katsuya was alone now, pulling at his hair and shaking his head. I wanted to ask what Mokuba was talking about, but then again . . . I didn't want Katsuya to find out that I had been eavesdropping on part of their conversation.

"What's the matter with **you**?"

Upon hearing my voice, he turned around. I kept all but my head hidden behind the door.

"Damn, that was fast." He walked closer.

I guess he had no intention of mentioning Mokuba, "That's because I'm still wearing only a towel."

His eyes widened as he picked up his pace. I glared at him and he stopped within a mere foot of the door, laughing like he always did, "I'm just kidding. Put some damn clothes on and let me in."

It wasn't exactly like I could just instantly get dressed without keeping him from entering, so I just let him in and went to my closet. Katsuya wouldn't do anything, right? No, of course he wouldn't.

"What were you and Mokuba talking about?" I asked while rummaging through my clothes looking for something to wear until it was time for bed.

"Your back . . ."

At first I thought that he meant they were talking about my back, but then I realized that I was currently shirtless . . . so he was actually just gawking at those hideous scars. "It's ugly, isn't it?" Just say yes, you know you want to. They are hideous, but permanent. There was nothing that I could do to erase those marks. There are a lot of things that I cannot seem to erase.

Without much in the way of warning I was turned around and pulled against his chest. I quickly reached down with one hand to hold my towel up. How awkward would that be? Naked and pressed against another man's body . . . oh man, don't think about it, Seto, don't think about it. I wouldn't know what it was like to enjoy a situation like that.

"Why did you stay here? Wasn't there something you could have done to escape? Someone you could have sent for help?"

"_Satoshi! Satoshi! I'm sorry!"_

Someone that could have helped me? "Why?" Why did I stay here? Which answer should I give him? I could always tell him the truth and say that there was no way out, but . . . "Because . . . because I wanted Mokuba to live a happy and luxurious life. That's why." Not a total lie, but certainly not the truth.

"I think that maybe Mokuba would have been happier if you had done what was best for the both of you and not just him."

"It **was** the best for both of us. I became the CEO of a multi-billion dollar international corporation. What could possibly be wrong with that?" I leaned back from the blond, trying to appear as if everything had turned out perfectly. It was the same argument that I would chant to myself when I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. Mokuba was happy and I would someday be the head of the company. I repeated that to myself every morning.

Jou only stared back. Did he not buy my excuse?

"I'm exhausted, but I guess that we should probably eat something for dinner, right? The cooks should still be here. Is there anything in particular that you want?" I gave him the kindest smile that I could muster at the moment, pulling away from his arms which had fallen loose around me.

"What?" So he was daydreaming again. "Oh, uh . . . anything is fine. I'll have whatever you have."

- - -

It was actually a little strange having dinner at the dinner table with other people. I usually got home from work too late to eat with Mokuba, so I often sat alone . . . if I had dinner at all. Sometimes I got home so late that the cooks had long gone home for the night. Dinner with someone else . . . I used to have dinner with Mokuba all the time. He and I had been so close; what happened?

Katsuya was the first to finish his plate, which wasn't surprising considering how he practically shoveled everything into that giant mouth of his. I finished second and Mokuba didn't look like he was going to eat everything he had been given.

That's my cue to conjure up a story, right? A story about what happened to my arms.

"_You're just too embarrassed and ashamed about what happened to tell the person that cares the most about you. You aren't thinking of Mokuba's feelings at all!"_

No, I'm not thinking of his feelings. You're right, Katsuya. I think that I'm going to be a selfish bastard and lie to him as I had originally planned. It sounded like a good idea to tell him the truth, but . . . in the end, I can't bring myself to tell Mokuba something that I can't even bear to **think** about.

"Mokuba, shall we go up to your room now and have that talk that we discussed earlier?"

Mokuba was playing with the last bit of food on his plate, "Will you tell me what **really** happened?"

"What are you talking about?" I glanced at Katsuya for only a second before locking eyes with my brother again. I couldn't let on that I had heard Mokuba trying to get answers out of him.

Mokuba sighed loudly, shoving his plate away and getting out of his seat, "Just forget it, Seto. When you're ready to tell the truth, let me know. To be honest, I tried to bribe Jou into telling me what happened."

Yeah, I overheard the conversation . . . wait, bribe? "Bribe him with what?"

"Uh," Mokuba's eyes darted to the floor, but were quick to return to me, "With some secret thing. Anyways, he wouldn't tell me. He said that you trusted him a lot and he wasn't going to risk that trust. He made a good point though; if you wanted me to know the truth, you would have told me. Even if I beg and plead and cry for you to tell me, you would probably only tell me a lie." He smiled a half-sad smile and it felt like a knife was being shoved into my chest, "But that's okay, big brother. You do what you think is the best for me, right? Well, it would be best for me if you would do what is best for **you**. Okay?" He kissed me on the forehead and graced me with a smile before disappearing from the room.

Don't I do what is best for Mokuba? Hasn't that been my goal all along? Mokuba is the only family that I have left now, and yet I've told him less his entire life than I have told Katsuya over the past week. But Mokuba is only 13! That isn't old enough for him to . . . no, it **is** old enough, isn't it? I'm being overprotective . . . maybe.

"_. . . it would be best for me if you would do what is best for __**you**__."_

What is best . . . for me. No, that's not the message he was trying to send to me. Mokuba was trying to tell me that he cares about me and how I feel, and yet . . . and yet I continue to be selfish and ignore his feelings all the time. I love Mokuba with all of my heart, but he sure knows how to make me feel like a total asshole.

"We should . . . go to bed now. I'm really tired, Katsuya."

- - -

By the time I had gotten ready for bed and walked out of the bathroom, Katsuya had already made himself comfortable in my bed. I hadn't shared that bed with anyone since I shared it with Mokuba shortly after Gozaburo died. Mokuba had been worried about what was going to happen to us, so he would spend his nights with me. Mokuba used to feel so safe with me . . .

I climbed into bed next to him (the creepy grin on his face was enough to make me a little nervous) and switched off the lamp beside my bed, flooding the room with darkness.

"Seto?" Ugh, can't he ask questions in the morning? "When do you take your medicine?"

My medicine? Did he know that I wasn't taking it? I could just tell him that I've been taking it in the bathroom after I brush my teeth. It's not like he would know any better.

"_Why do __**you**__ always lie to __**me**__?"_

How long was that going to keep haunting me?

"I haven't been taking it."

"What?"

"I haven't been tak-"

"I heard you;" Oh. "I just want to know why on earth you aren't taking it! Isn't it supposed to keep you from having those episodes?"

"Yeah."

"Then why aren't you taking it?"

"I don't know." Maybe because I'd rather have all of my emotions and thoughts intact for a change. I'm so sick of having my life controlled by something as stupid as little pills!

"That's not really the kind of answer I'm looking for, Seto."

What the hell did he expect me to say? Did he expect some sort of philosophical answer? Any normal person would take them to stop those 'episodes', yes, but I'm not exactly normal. Maybe I'm fucking crazy; did he ever think of **that** possibility? I mean, how many people would push their adoptive father out of a top-floor window? How many people would kill their best friend? Me, me, only me! Only someone that was crazy.

Oh, but I wasn't about to say something like that to him. "Katsuya, please go to sleep." I snuggled close, my hands on his chest. If he really loves me, he won't be able to say no to such a request.

He wrapped his arms around me and I could almost hear the pace of my heart quicken, "Fine. You win this time, but I'm not gonna let this go. You got that?"

I smiled against him as I laughed a little, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go to sleep, mutt." He's going to let it go. I'll make him forget.

- - -

It wasn't long before I could hear the light, even breathing that signaled he had finally fallen asleep. I, on the other hand, was plagued with nagging thoughts.

Mokuba . . . could I ever really tell him the truth? Something like that is difficult to talk about with other people, especially with someone his age. Mokuba wasn't an adult and I did my best to keep him from seeing things that might upset him. I didn't want him to lose that innocence that I love so much. Mokuba is my little brother, the only real family that I have left. He was the one person that always had faith in me and tried to tell everyone else that I wasn't such a horrible person.

And yet he's the one that I lie to the most.

I sat up quickly when I heard the floorboards creak under some unknown weight. The creaking sound was constant, but slow, as if someone was walking. My heart began to race.

What if someone had broken in? Or worse, what if **Saki** had broken in? What if he had come to hurt Mokuba? What if he had come to hurt Jou? What if . . . he was back for more? I laid back down and snuggled even closer to Jou, feeling like a child with my eyes clenched tightly shut. This wasn't like me, but . . . what really **is** like me?

"Seto?"

All of my muscles relaxed at once and I opened my eyes just a little, "Mokuba . . ." I whispered, so as not to wake the blond beside me.

"Who else would it be?" I could vaguely see him right beside the bed now with what little moonlight was filtering in through the blinds.

"You should be in bed."

"We need to talk, Seto. I just can't stand it anymore."

I thought that he wasn't going to be so persistent anymore. I sat up slowly on the edge of the bed, shoving the covers aside, "What is it that you want to talk about." Mokuba leaned to glance at Jou. "Don't worry, he's asleep; it's just you and I, Mokuba."

"It's always been just the two of us, hasn't it?" He smiled a bit and I couldn't help but return the kind gesture.

"Yeah."

"I'm going to be really honest with you, Seto, and I hope that you'll be the same way with me." He sighed deeply, his eyes no longer in contact with my own in the darkness of the room. I patted the mattress to my left and he quickly, but carefully, sat down beside me, "I . . . think I know a bit of what went on when Gozaburo was alive."

I could feel my eyes widen and a lump get caught in my throat. No, no, there's no way that he could have really known what was going on. He was so young and I was so careful . . .

"He . . . let people use you, right?"

"U-use me?"

His violet eyes looked eerie in the moonlight as he looked back up at me, "Sexually."

I couldn't look at him anymore, not with him talking like that, "That's not it at all."

"I could hear it sometimes. I didn't really understand it back then, but I knew that those sounds weren't good. I'll never forget those sounds and how sad you were. Once I got older, I kind of just put the pieces together and figured it out. You have marks on your back, marks on your wrists . . . some of the scars on your wrists aren't very thin, meaning that they were created by something other than a blade. Maybe . . . metal cuffs?"

"Mokuba-"

"I'm right, aren't I?" He placed one hand on my leg as he tried to lean enough to look at my face, but I only tilted my head away. "Seto, what's the **real** reason that you suddenly hated Saki? He did something, right? And those new wounds on your arms . . . what happened, Seto? What happened, _big brother_?"

"Saki . . . he turned out to be just like the others. Just the other day, he came into my life again and . . . he did it again when I was alone. He waited until he knew that Jou wasn't in the apartment with me."

"Like the others? Did it again? You mean-"

"Don't say it." I could feel tears stinging at the backs of my eyes. No way, I couldn't cry in front of Mokuba! How pathetic and weak would that be? That would be too much burden to put on Mokuba. "I've been such a wreck lately. Mokuba, maybe you already knew this, but . . . I've been taking all kinds of medications for years, trying to maintain some form of normality. Without those pills, I'm an absolute mess and . . . I haven't been taking them for the past few days. For some reason I thought that I could get on with my life just fine without them. They make me feel like a complete zombie, and I just . . ." There was a warm sensation on both of my cheeks, and that's when I realized that I had actually started crying. Even so, it was like an enormous weight was lifted off of me, as cliché as that is.

"Seto . . ." Thin arms wrapped themselves around my torso and pulled me slightly downward into the tightest, warmest hug I'd ever experienced. "You're the strongest person I know, Seto. If you want to live without having to rely on medicine, I **know** that you can. Jou and I will be your medicine. All you have to do is rely on us." He buried his face into the curve of my neck and I could feel the wetness of his own tears. Suddenly I wasn't so embarrassed for crying.

He slowly released me, but leaned against my side, "Seto, from now on please answer my questions. I know that I'm only thirteen, but I'd like to think that I'm a little more mature than most kids my age."

"I'll try . . ."

"There is one more thing that I want to ask . . ." He almost sounded uneasy.

"Yeah?"

"What really happened to Satoshi?"

Tell the truth, don't lie . . . don't lie . . . "I killed him."

"What?" Mokuba leaned away, "But there must have been some reason, right?"

"Yeah. I killed him because-" _Because I didn't want Gozaburo to hurt you, Mokuba_. But I couldn't say that to him. He would feel like it was his fault, "Because Gozaburo was a manipulative piece of shit."

"I'm sure that Satoshi doesn't blame you, Seto."

_An ocean of blood and in the middle was Satoshi, those wide, lifeless eyes staring up at me, accusing me for his untimely death . . ._

"As long as you don't blame me, I don't really care." I wiped at my eyes and yawned.

"Can I sleep in your room tonight?" He grinned.

"Sleep in here?" Was he serious?

"Yeah! Just like old times!" He was whispering still, but his whispering was growing in volume.

"But Katsuya is . . ."

"Oh I'm sure he won't mind!" Mokuba slipped in between Katsuya and I, pulling the sheets up to his chin, "Please?"

"Do I really have a choice?" I laughed a little, sliding under the covers beside him.

"No, not really."

Mokuba snuggled up against my side, just like he used to, and fell asleep still attached to me, just like he used to. I was so happy that I could've started crying again . . . but all of this damn crying is starting to give me a headache!

"_Jou and I will be your medicine. All you have to do is rely on us."_

Katsuya and Mokuba are my medicine . . . that sounds so poetic, but . . .

. . . I think I like it.

* * *

Woohoo! Sorry that I took so long! School is still destroying my life. I hope you like the cute, yet short, Seto and Mokuba scene at the end! That scene isn't in the original, so all of those people that only read BBE are gonna miss out!

Please leave me some love in your emails/reviews/message board posts! I could sure use it . . .


	27. Day Eight: By the Pool

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

**Disclaimer:** No, I don't own Yugioh and no, I don't make money from this.

**Note:** So I was about to rewrite this in Seto's point of view, when I noticed a really funny typo. In the original instead of Jou wrapping his ARMS around Seto's body, I put EYES. Oops, haha!

**Additional Note**: This website no longer allows me to use the dashes to separate scenes, so you're going to have to deal with the giant, ugly separation bars for scene-switches, sorry!

* * *

**Recap:**

"_Jou and I will be your medicine. All you have to do is rely on us."_

_Katsuya and Mokuba are my medicine . . . that sounds so poetic, but . . ._

_. . . I think I like it._

* * *

_Normally tears would sting at the backs of my eyes, but not anymore. It didn't matter how many times they fucked me. It didn't matter how many times I was hit. It didn't matter how many times I was bound or forced to do unspeakable, disgusting things. I couldn't cry, not anymore. I think . . . I think that maybe I wanted to cry . . . but I also wanted to laugh. I wanted to laugh at how absolutely helpless I had become. This is . . . the result of my training. I __**am**__ a Kaiba. Kaiba's don't cry._

"_You can cry, you know."_

_Saki. _

"_You can cry."_

_I can cry. "No I can't."_

_I lifted my head slowly to face those brilliant silver eyes, the eyes of the man that betrayed me, only to see . . . _

_Brown eyes, blond hair, and gentle hands reaching out to me, a kind smile on soft lips, "You can cry."_

"Wha?"

Mokuba, who was sitting in my bed for some reason, leaned down and hugged me, nuzzling my cheek. Oh yeah, he had come in here last night. It was morning already?

"Good morning, Seto." Katsuya smiled sweetly, just like in my dream.

"Morning, Katsuya." I rubbed Mokuba's back, returning his smile as best I could and hoping that my face wasn't tinted pink. "I guess it must have been awkward for you to wake up to a third person in the bed, huh?" I would be quite pissed off if I woke up to another person in the bed. Then again, it **is** Mokuba. Mokuba is innocent enough that it shouldn't be a big deal.

"Just a little."

So today is . . . Saturday. Ah, the pool. "Mokuba, why don't you go have the cook make us some breakfast? Jou and I have to get ready for a school assignment."

Mokuba wriggled out from between us and bounded out of the room in his pajamas, only to peek his head back in a moment later, "Remember Jou, no funny business!" He glared at Katsuya for a second before laughing as he finally left.

I went over and shut the door.

"So you told him?"

Apparently Mokuba and Katsuya had been awake a bit longer than me, "I thought about what you said and decided that you were right. Mokuba is the only family that I have and he's stuck with me through everything. I wasn't the nicest brother during the last year or so before Gozaburo's death, but Mokuba still loved me." Mokuba always loved me. "No matter how mean I was to him and to others, Mokuba still held on to his memories of how I used to be. Mokuba has faith in me and it's about time I put some faith in him." I faced Jou, leaning against the door with my eyes closed. I had finally told Mokuba a few things that I had promised myself I would never tell. "I actually felt very relieved when I told him."

When I opened my eyes, Katsuya was smiling again, "You two are inseparable. It's really good to have someone like that."

I glanced down at the floor, a smile coming to my own lips. It wasn't too long ago that I felt Mokuba and I were growing very distant, like we would never be as close as we once were. But now . . . now it almost feels like old times again. Everyone should have someone who they . . .

I glanced up quickly at Katsuya, suddenly feeling bad, "Everyone should have someone like that." I don't think that Katsuya has someone like Mokuba in his life. His mother and sister left him with that bastard when he was young. Sure he has close friends, but they just aren't the same as having a close loved-one.

"Uh, yeah, everyone should." He sounded confused. Was he really that dense?

"Even you."

"I have my friends."

"I wonder if you and your friends will be so close forever." Sometimes people betray their friends. Friends can become worst enemies in a heartbeat.

"Well it's not like Mokuba is always going to be around you, either. He's going to move out some day and have a family of his own. He won't have nearly as much time for you." His expression changed instantly, "I'm sor-"

"No no." I held up a hand, stopping him from apologizing. I wasn't stupid. "I understand what you're trying to say. What I said made you angry, right?" He nodded, "You're right, though; Mokuba won't always be around to keep me company and then I'll be all alone in this enormous house . . ." My chest was starting to feel tight, "and when you and your friends graduate high school and move on to colleges or jobs in distant places, you'll go home alone to your apartment, right?"

"Yeah, I mean it's not like I can afford college, let alone pass the entrance exams." Okay so I think I'm doing more harm than good at the moment, but I'm trying to get to a point!

"When they leave, the two of us will be utterly alone . . ." I watched his expression carefully, trying to see if perhaps he was catching on to my little hint.

"I'm assuming you're going somewhere with this." He was sitting on the edge of my bed now with his arms folded across his chest. Well, at least he knew that I was getting to a point, even if he was a little too slow to figure out exactly what that point is.

"Ah, the puppy is learning." I nodded, laughing a little when he let out a growl characteristic of the animal he had been called, "Don't growl at your master. Bad dog!" I waved a finger at him.

I was slightly startled when he hopped off the bed and stood just inches away from me, "What's that point that you were getting to?" Did he really want to know that badly? I guess I should just say exactly what I mean. That's an easy thing to do, right? Just be completely blunt about it.

I clasped my hands behind my back, "Well, I was just thinking that, well . . . since, you know-"

"Are you actually having a hard time saying something?" He let out a gasp for effect.

I scrunched up my face. Okay, so I couldn't exactly be as blunt as I'd like. It wasn't characteristic of me to ask people to move into my house. In all honesty, I don't really like people, especially people as dimwitted as Jounouchi Katsuya, but . . . I like Jounouchi Katsuya. "Fine! I'll just say exactly what's on my mind!" I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. Perhaps it would be easier if I wasn't looking at him when I made the suggestion, "Since the two of us would be all alone and your father is a fuck-up, why don't you just move in with me?"

He looked shocked. Was he pissed because I called his dad a fuck-up? No, that couldn't be it.

"R-really?"

Would I ask if I didn't mean it? That would be a really mean joke . . . then again, I guess that it's not exactly beyond something that I would do. "I don't think that you should live with that bastard anymore. I believe that you would be much better off living here with Mokuba and I." I had opened my eyes by this point, but for some reason I still couldn't bring myself to look at him. I was making such an embarrassing request.

Two hands cupped my chin, turning my head until I was facing him before the blond leaned close enough and brought our lips together for only a couple of seconds, "That would be really awesome, but wouldn't that be a burden on you guys?"

It will definitely be a while before I get used to Katsuya kissing me randomly, "I-I don't see how." Damn stuttering. Oh well, he did it too.

I waited, expecting an excited and hyper reply that was typical of Katsuya. Maybe he would suddenly hug me, or perhaps he would jump up in the air, that happy grin covering his face . . . those were the kinds of things that Katsuya was likely to do, right?

He rubbed his chin, closing his eyes, "I'll think about it."

My heart sank, "You'll **think** about it?" If I had asked anyone else in the world other than him, they would have given me the expected reaction. Was he messing with me? So he was now going to say 'just kidding!' right?

He opened his eyes, "Yeah, that's what I said." He folded his arms, smiling and nodding.

What the hell? Was he serious? Did he . . . really not want to move in with me? "Right." I went away from him and into my closet to choose something to wear. Katsuya didn't follow me. If he didn't want to move in with me, he ought to just say so. My chest was feeling tight again.

"Hey Seto?" I heard him call from out in my room.

"Yeah?"

"Could I use your shower?"

**My** shower? I guess since we're sharing a bedroom, it's only normal that we'd share a shower. Er, I mean the actual showering area, not taking a shower at the same time . . . "Sure. Just don't make a mess."

"Thanks." He called back to me.

I listened until I heard the door shut and I felt a little relieved. It shouldn't bother me that he doesn't want to move in, but I felt that he would definitely say yes. I mean, I guess that he didn't say no . . . but why didn't he say yes? Why did he need time to think about it? His dad is an asshole, he lives in poverty, he isn't doing very well in school, and if I hadn't bought groceries for him during my stay who knows what he would have eaten! He could live with me and eat whatever he wants and sleep in a cozy bed and live a life of luxury . . . with me.

I heard the water come on in the bathroom.

I guess he would be using my soap and shampoo as well. Sharing isn't exactly something that I'm used to. It was just for one week, right? Just for one week. Dammit! I can't let this bug me forever! I pulled a black dress shirt and some khaki pants off of their hangers and changed in my closet. I also found a white t-shirt and a pair of swimming trunks to wear once we arrived at the pool. There was still the problem of my wrists . . .

"Seto?"

I whirled around at the sudden voice, but it was just Mokuba. "What is it, Mokuba?"

"Nothing, really. I'm just bored."

"You're smart, so perhaps you can help me solve a problem."

His face lit up and I couldn't help but smile. I guess he really liked the thought of helping me. I'm sure he also appreciated the compliment. "Sure bro! What's the problem?"

"Well, Katsuya and I are going to be at a pool in a little while and I'll be wearing a t-shirt, so I need to cover my wrists." It felt weird talking to Mokuba so openly about my old scars . . . and new wounds.

"Oh, that's easy! Just wear sweatbands! I have some in my room!" He took off immediately without even giving me the chance to respond.

Sweatbands? Why hadn't I thought of something so simple? My logic has been failing me as of late. I guess that Katsuya can't be totally at fault, though he is something of a distraction . . .

Mokuba returned, two small items in his hands. "Here! See if they're big enough to cover everything."

I slid one on each wrist and examined them. They were just wide enough that none of my scars could be seen. It might look weird to wear those to a pool, but it's not like my classmates would notice. They'd be too busy staring at my face . . . or other areas that they need not be staring. "This will work. Thank you, Mokuba." I gave him a smile and he gave me a giant grin in return. Mokuba and Katsuya had a similar grin. They both have the same light-hearted nature. I like that in a person, I suppose.

Without warning Mokuba hugged me, nuzzling my chest. I remember just a few years ago he was so short that I had to practically kneel down just to hug him properly. He's growing so fast.

"_Well it's not like Mokuba is always going to be around you, either. He's going to move out some day and have a family of his own. He won't have nearly as much time for you." _

Mokuba . . .

"Seto? You okay?"

"What?" I must have made a face by accident, "Yeah, I'm fine." I made sure to smile again, "Did you ever ask the cooks to make breakfast like I asked? Katsuya and I have somewhere to be for our project and I don't want to go on an empty stomach."

He looked skeptical. I guess I was kind of going back on my word by saying I was okay, but it's not like I lied about something major this time. "Alright, alright." With that, he left.

"_He won't have nearly as much time for you."_

Why didn't Katsuya say yes? I need to ask him instead of just wondering forever. I should just ask.

I sat on my bed, staring at the bathroom door as though doing so would make him pick up the pace. I started tapping my foot to an unheard beat, but the water continued running. We're both guys, right? I should just open the door and ask him right now. He can't run away from answering me if he's in the shower.

With great confidence I stood up and went to the bathroom, raising my fist to knock before entering. Yes, I should knock . . . what kind of creep walks in on someone showering without knocking first? I'm not some kind of pervert.

I knocked on the door.

"Is someone there?" Came the muffled response from within.

I took that as permission to enter. I slowly inched the door open, poking my head inside, "I just wanted to ask you if-"

Holy fucking god. He opened the shower door? When did he do that? **Why** did he do that? And he wasn't even covering up! He was just standing there with his, with his . . . his **stuff** just all out in the open! Who does that?

"Like what you see?" He struck a pose and that was it for me.

I left quickly, slamming the door shut. I leaned against the wall just outside the bathroom, a shiver running up and down my spine.

"Seto?"

I froze at the sound of Mokuba's voice. Did he see me talking to Katsuya just now?

"Seto, breakfast is ready downstairs."

"Oh, uh, thanks!" I smiled at him, but I could feel my cheeks burning. Mokuba's own face had a tell-tale smirk on it, but he said nothing. We went downstairs together. I'm sure Katsuya will figure out where we went. Knowing him, he'd just follow the scent of the food.

* * *

Katsuya eventually joined us wearing blue jeans and a plain white t-shirt.

"We're going shopping later." I informed him, taking a bite of egg from my fork.

Mokuba giggled form his place beside me, "Oooh, can I go too, big brother! I can help pick out the clothes!" He almost seemed a bit **too** excited about shopping.

"You don't think I'd do a good job?"

"No matter how you look at it, Jou just wouldn't look right in the things that you wear. Everyone has their own style." Mokuba held up an index finger as he explained his point.

"This **is** my style." Katsuya glared, though I don't think he was actually angry.

"Jou," Mokuba sighed and shook his head, "That's not **style**! You look like some homeless guy that Seto took in out of charity!"

"Mokuba-"

"No, it's okay Seto." He held up a hand to stop me, just as I had done to him earlier, "Let's see what this **kid** can pick out for me later."

"Alright, but for now you need to sit down and eat because we need to get our things together and head over to meet our class." I pulled out the chair across from Mokuba, "I'm never late, you know." Hopefully the two of them were just playing and not actually fighting. Mokuba had gone a bit far, saying that Katsuya looked like a homeless man, but I don't think Mokuba meant it. The two of them had gotten along in the past and there is no reason that they can't get along now.

* * *

We arrived just ten minutes early.

"Oh wonderful!" Ms. Asuka rushed towards the two of us, "Since the two of you have been absent for the past couple of days, I was worried that you wouldn't make an appearance today!" She smiled and neither of us said a word. "You two can change into your swimsuits in that poolhouse right over there!" She pointed to a small building on the other side, "There are changing rooms inside."

"You go on, ahead, Jou. I need to talk to Ms. Asuka for a moment." I had decided during our ride over here that I would give the woman a reason that I was wearing the shirt and wouldn't be entering the pool. I hadn't quite decided **what** I would tell her, but I knew that I needed to give her an explanation. The last thing I needed was for her to bother me about it and cause a scene. This was the best method of preventing that.

"Alright." Katsuya looked unsure, but left me alone anyhow.

"Yes?" Asuka Ayumi looked just about as nervous as I was. Perhaps she thought I was going to yell at her. The woman was a bit too passive to teach older teens. Perhaps preschool would be more for her.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be wearing my swimming trunks, but I'll also be wearing a white t-shirt. I'm just making sure that you aren't going to count off for that." I folded my arms, pretending not to really give a damn.

"Well, I suppose that will be fine . . . but may I ask **why** you'll be wearing one? You don't appear to have a skin condition or anything . . ." Her wandering eyes made me more than uncomfortable.

"No, you may not." I turned to leave. Well that was far better than having to make up some kind of excuse.

"Does it have something to do with your history?"

I glanced over my shoulder, glaring with full force, "What?" What the fuck could she possibly know about my _history_?

"In your school record it says-"

"Mind your own goddamn business." The school record? I knew I should have just told the school that I had been homeschooled my entire life up until Gozaburo died. I never should have had my old records sent over. Fucking stupid.

"Just know that I'm here if you need to talk." There was that look. That look that had pity written all over it. Don't pity me! I have everything I could possibly want! If anyone should be pitied, it's you!

I left without uttering a word and went to where I knew Jou would be.

As I entered the poolhouse I saw my blond surrounded by his group of friends. I made sure to wipe the frown off my face; knowing Katsuya, he'd notice it instantly and worry about it for the rest of the day. As I approached I could hear the girl talking . . . what was her name? Anzu? I think that's it.

"We were wondering if you were going to show up today." She informed Jou with a smile.

"Yeah, we're both here." I announced, breezing past the crowd and into the changing room just behind Katsuya.

As I changed clothes I could hear their conversation just outside.

Yuugi's voice was first, "Is he gonna wear the trunks you picked out for him?"

Was that kid some kind of pervert? I guess it's the small, quiet ones you have to watch out for.

"Nah, he already had his own pair at home. Oh, and don't get all excited, Yami, he's also going to be wearing a shirt." Katsuya this time.

Are they **all** perverts?

"Why's that?" Sounded like the quiet white-haired guy.

I came out of the room and leaned against the doorframe, wondering what Katsuya's answer would be. It didn't surprise me much that the only thing to come out of his mouth was "Uhhh . . ."

"Maybe I just don't want my good looks to distract everyone." I lied, giving the group the best smug expression I could come up with. Jou turned around, his brown eyes lighting up. Lighting up? Yeah right . . . he **did** look pretty happy though.

"Even so, it looks like Jounouchi is going to be distracted anyway." The white-haired guy . . . Ryou? Ryou chuckled, eyeing the blond. He was probably right . . .

"Aww man! Kaiba's going to wear a shirt? That's so unfair!" A few of the females from our class whined from several feet away. It was annoying, but if I said something it would only make things worse. I simply rolled my eyes and left the poolhouse . . . though not before catching a glimpse of a relatively irritated Katsuya.

"I guess you won't be getting in huh? Won't you get bored?" Jou asked, eventually catching up to me.

He was worried about me getting bored? "I'll just sit on the side and hang my legs in the water. We can always go swimming back at my house, right?" We could, but I wonder if we will ever actually do that . . . I have a hot tub, after all.

His friends were clumped together right behind us. "You guys are staying at the Kaiba mansion already?" Yuugi asked, hopping into the pool next to where we were standing. His small body barely even made waves. "We're all switching places after this event. Sure must be nice to be able to stay in a mansion, Jou, especially considering what you're used to!"

Considering what he's used to? That sounded a bit cruel. Wasn't that a mean thing to say? Even so, Jou just smiled kindly at his friend.

"Yeah, don't get lost!" Jou's idiotic friend, who I'm relatively sure is named Honda, added, jumping in beside Yuugi and effectively splashing all of the rest of us. Luckily it was only a small splash, so my shirt was safe.

Everyone else jumped into the water while I just made myself comfortable on the edge of the pool. It felt good once I hung my legs inside. It was a little cold at first, but I quickly got used to it.

"Let's go further in!" Anzu called out, floating towards the middle with everyone else cheering and following after her. Everyone, that is, save for Katsuya. He watched them go.

"Why aren't you going with your friends?" Was he growing distant from them because of me?

"There are plenty of them to keep each other company. I'm not going to leave you by yourself."

"You shouldn't ignore your friends."

"Exactly, which is why I'm staying here with you." He grinned and I had to close my eyes as I fought a smile. That's right. We're friends now, aren't we? I sighed lightly before opening my eyes to gaze out over the pool. Everyone was laughing and having fun while Katsuya was stuck sitting with someone like me. But . . . Katsuya probably wasn't bothered by something like that.

It took me a moment to realize that I was being stared at, "Quit staring, Jounouchi." I glared just a little, trying to look believable in case someone was watching. What did it really matter if someone found out? If they tried to spread rumors about Katsuya and I being an item, I could just deny it and threaten them and everything would stop . . . or maybe I didn't give a shit if people knew. I like Jounouchi Katsuya as more than just a friend, maybe. Maybe I want to be with him forever. Maybe we're a couple now. Maybe . . .

"That's how it's going to be, huh?"

"Yeah; I don't like attracting attention." I stared down at my feet, watching the tiny waves as I kicked my legs in the water.

"Riiiight. That's why you shut down an entire city for a tournament, or why you hung outside of a mid-air helicopter just to announce that you were **having** said tournament! Or, better yet, when you had a blimp flying over with a big-ass T.V. on it so you could randomly pop up and make announcements."

"Yeah, well . . ." He had a pretty damn good point, "I don't like **negative **attention."

"You think people were saying **positive** things about that?" He taunted, smiling.

I lifted one leg out of the water to splash him. I know that people don't think very highly me, but it's not like I really care.

He lifted himself out of the water to sit next to me, "Is this okay?" He seemed so unsure of himself that it was almost sad. Why wouldn't it be okay for him to sit next to me? Oh, because everyone knew that we hated each other. Our peers had no idea that we had suddenly become friends.

"Yeah. Maybe . . . maybe I don't really care if those lunatics figure us out." Figure us out? I mean, if they knew we were friends, that wasn't a big deal, right? I'm human after all, I deserve to have some friends. If they were to figure out that we've kissed . . . did that matter?

"Maybe?" He asked, but I was too busy looking at my own feet in the water to see what his expression might be.

"Yeah, maybe." I was certain about most things in my life; this wasn't one of those things.

There was an awkward moment of silence. I started to wonder if maybe I had said something that upset him, or maybe I had said something that pissed him off. I never really knew what kind of answer he was expecting, so I just said exactly what I thought.

"Heh, you're an interesting person, you know that?" He began, finally. "I mean, when it comes to technology and book-smarts, you know just about everything there is to know . . . but when it's about people or even your own feelings, you're clueless."

"_The battlefield is no place for the human heart! A company is run much in the same way!"_

"Feelings and emotions lead to hesitation and failure." Isn't that what I used to believe? Isn't that sort of what I still believe?

"Whose words are those?"

Whose words could they possibly be? Gozaburo had repeated his rules and his mottos again and again until they were engrained into the very fibers of my being. He would make me recite them often and if I was wrong, well . . . I would never forget them ever again.

* * *

It was weird. This whole situation felt so weird, but at the same time . . . I was having a lot of fun. Katsuya and I just sat in that spot the whole time. I only moved to pull my legs out of the water sometimes to avoid that nasty wrinkled look. Other than that, we just talked to each other. We talked about how terrible some of the people looked in their swimsuits and how stupid they were during class. I would often think such things, but I never really talked about them with someone else. It was kind of funny to know that I wasn't alone with my thoughts.

After a few hours, someone had started up a grill and was cooking hot dogs and hamburgers. The smell was enough to make me want to throw up. It reminded me of the time that Katsuya forced me to eat that nasty pile of greasy filth.

"Ah, brings back memories . . ." The blond sighed with nostalgia.

"Horrible memories." I informed him, sporting the most disgusted face I could make while shivering.

Without any warning whatsoever, there was suddenly a hand on each of my shoulders followed by a slight weight as if someone was leaning on me. I practically had a heart attack.

"Is everything okay?" For fuck's sake, Asuka. "No one is bothering you, right?"

Was she seriously nagging me about this? "I'm fine. The only one that is bothering me right now is **you**."

"Everything's cool," Jou added, apparently finding my answer a little too harsh. He probably wanted to cushion my response a bit, "I **am** Seto's partner you know."

_Partner_? I shot him a glare. Was he **trying** to give her the wrong idea?

. . . would it really be wrong?

"I just wanted to check . . ." The physical weight on my shoulders disappeared and I saw her reappear over by the grill.

"Awwwwww! She was worried about you, Set-chan!" He leaned into me.

Set-chan? I guess that was his reply to Kat-chan. I reached my arm around his back and shoved him into the water for giving me such a cutesy nickname, "Swim, mutt." I couldn't help but smirk. The dog analogy always seemed so fitting for him.

"Oh yeah?" He called from the water before dunking his head beneath the surface. He emerged just a moment later and climbed out. What was the point in that?

Then he shook like a dog would, spraying me with water.

I held up my arms, clenching my eyes shut, "What the fuck, Jou?" Though I tried to sound angry, I really wasn't. It was kind of . . . funny. Katsuya is funny.

"Well, that's what wet dogs do, isn't it?"

I opened my eyes to catch the typical grin stuck to his face, "Ugh, you really **are** a dog." In more ways than one. Not only did he act like the animal, but some of the things that he says . . . oh yeah! "Anyways . . . what was up with that?" I couldn't just let his 'partner' comment slide!

"With what?"

Oh, so now he was going to play stupid? That wasn't going to work on me! "Don't think I didn't catch on to your use of the word 'partner'. You might have thought it was clever, but you'll have to be much better than that for it go to over my head." I folded my arms.

Katsuya just laughed at me. What was so funny? I swear, he is a confusing person. Speaking of people . . .

I glanced around the pool to make sure I wasn't just seeing things. The area was becoming more and more crowded than it had been when our class first arrived. Many of the people were unfamiliar. "Hey Jou?"

"Yeah?"

"Are those people in our class?" I nodded in the direction of some of the unfamiliar people. Just because I didn't recognize them didn't mean they weren't in our class. It's not like I make an effort to get to know everyone.

He stared at them for a moment, "I don't think so. I guess that the pool isn't closed for our use only. I'm pretty sure that it's open to whoever wants to use it."

"Oh." I stood up, dusting off my rear. Great, just great. A bunch of random people are here too? Hopefully none of them would recognize me, or if they did, they would just think 'Kaiba Seto? In a place like this? No, that couldn't be him' and then they would leave me alone.

"Where are you going?" Katsuya glanced up at me from his place on the edge of the pool.

"I have to piss." Well said, Seto, well said. It was a bit unlike me to put that so bluntly, but whatever.

He dared to point at the pool as though to suggest I ought to use it as a giant toilet. If he pees in my pool at home, I'll kill him.

"No fucking way." I tried to hide my smile. Mokuba probably would have also pointed at the pool. In a way, Jou and Mokuba have similar personalities . . . have I said that before?

I left Katsuya and went to the poolhouse. It was empty, which was a relief. I was actually getting tired of being surrounded by so many noisy people. It's bad enough that I have to deal with these people during school hours, but on a Saturday too? Okay, okay, so I hadn't exactly gone to class in a few days. I guess I shouldn't be whining about it.

I took care of the 'business' that I came to attend to and headed for the doorway. As I emerged I bumped into someone that was headed inside. Normally I would get irritated and just snub the person, but I was feeling pretty kind today.

"Excuse me." I muttered under my breath, glancing at the person's face to see who exactly it was that I ran into. I figured it was a stranger, since the guy was taller than me.

"Running right into my arms, I see."

"Sa-" I couldn't say it. The name just didn't want to come out of me. Grey eyes burned holes into me as I stood there, unable to move. My legs felt like they were cemented to the ground. What was there to fear? I've been through so much more! He's not important anymore! Besides, he wouldn't do anything in public . . . would he?

"Did I ever tell you that you have the most beautiful legs? And those arms . . ." His hand ran down the length of my arm, effectively giving me chills. "You're so thin and so beautiful."

"What do you want?" I narrowed my eyes to the point that I could barely even see him anymore.

"Oooh, I love that look in your eyes, Seto-koi" I like 'Set-chan' better. " . . . but the reason I'm here isn't exactly you, today." His voice feigned sadness but his eyes were laughing.

"Not exactly me?" What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

"Not exactly. Could you tell me where Mr. Jounouchi is?" His grin was creepy enough to make my glare dissipate instantly.

Katsuya? Why did he want him? He wasn't going to try to hurt him, was he? What if he did something to Katsuya? "Leave Katsuya out of this."

He sighed, "Fine, if you won't take me to him, I'll just find him myself . . . in front of everyone. Won't that be fun?"

I sped past him and towards the pool. I couldn't let him talk to Katsuya! I have already put Katsuya through enough trouble because of my own fucking problems! He didn't need to get mixed up in any more of my issues!

Images flashed through my mind . . . images of Saki standing over a beaten Katsuya . . . or worse yet, a dead Katsuya. Saki could do it; Saki could kill someone. He has the eyes of someone that could kill.

Katsuya . . .

I felt myself fall backwards, only to be caught by Saki himself.

Could I not escape him? Katsuya . . . Katsuya . . . he'll hurt Katsuya, he'll kill Katsuya, unless . . .

. . . unless Saki dies first.

* * *

Weird ending much? Seto's mind is kinda making me crazy, haha! Oh well. Next up will be BBESS 28, which will catch this story up to the original BBE! Excited? No? Well I am, so there! But really . . . I'm very happy to finally catch them up. After that I'll do BBE 29, I swear it!


	28. Day Eight: Trust You, Trust Me

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

**Disclaimer:** The story is mine. The characters are not mine. "The Crystal Cave" is an excellent novel written by Mary Stewart (not to be confused with Martha, lol).

* * *

_**Recap:**_

_I felt myself fall backwards, only to be caught by Saki himself._

_Could I not escape him? Katsuya . . . Katsuya . . . he'll hurt Katsuya, he'll kill Katsuya, unless . . ._

_. . . unless Saki dies first._

**

* * *

**I could hear voices echoing all around me, but I couldn't make out a word. My entire body felt loose, like I couldn't move a limb even if I were to try. The only thing I could make out was the pressure of strong arms against me, holding me . . . holding me?

Trapping me.

"-Kaiba!"

Kaiba? I blinked my eyes and my vision was suddenly clear. A spunky blond was calling out to me. "Some dickhead is touching you! You gonna let him do that?"

Some . . . ah! We're in public! There's a crowd! They're all watching! He can't do anything, nothing at all. I'm untouchable!

I stood, pulling away from arms that didn't exactly fight my movements to escape. I joined up with Jou and faced Saki. How did he know we were going to be at this specific place? Did he know the date and time as well? Where on Earth could he have received information like that?

"Who is that?" Yuugi questioned from behind as we were joined by Katsuya's entourage of friends.

"He's a stalker of mine." I answered quickly before Katsuya could say something stupid, "He's been trying to abduct me for quite a few days now." That's believable enough. Young, rich, CEO being chased by some psychotic admirer? Sounds like a tabloid.

Saki, on the other hand, raised a brow at my answer, "Oh come on now gorgeous, I'm not a stalker at all;" I tensed up. "I'm your number one fan!" He threw me a wink and I probably would have shot him a glare if I wasn't so relieved.

So he was going to play along? Why? He could have easily told everyone the truth, and yet . . .

"Is there a problem over here?" Ms. Asuka arrived on the scene. Katsuya seemed pretty happy to see her, but knowing Saki . . .

"Well hello, beautiful."

. . . that easily-flattered woman doesn't stand a chance.

"Who are you?" She fought against her bright pink cheeks, trying to sound all authoritative. She's a teacher, for fuck's sake.

"Don't worry yourself over useless information like that, miss. We're playing nice, so there's no need to get involved." He winked and smiled, sending a chill down my spine. Saki's smile . . .

"_I love it when you smile, Saki."_

"_Oh? Can you believe I've never had braces?" A wink and a chuckle as the two of us sat on his sofa together._

"_That's not what I meant! You have . . . a really kind smile. When I see you smile, I can't help but want to smile too. It's hard for me to smile, but I really want to."_

Stupid.

"This person has been following me around and it's getting on my last nerve. Jounouchi and I will be leaving immediately." Yeah, that's it, just run. Run away with your tail between your fucking legs, Seto. That will fix everything. I couldn't even look at him. I couldn't look at that black hair I used to adore, or those eyes that shined so perfectly. I couldn't look at the smile that was kind or the hands that felt the best against my skin . . .

I can't even think about it.

"Asuka." I faced the older woman, her name apparently bringing her out of her little fantasy world.

"Seto, I told you to call me Ms. Asu-"

"Asuka." I glared this time, hoping she'd take the hint. "Have Katsuya and I been here long enough?"

"I- Well- uh- yes." She looked defeated.

That's all that I needed to hear. "Come on Jou, we're leaving now." I started toward the poolhouse to change, but upon looking over my shoulder I realized that the blond wasn't following. He seemed caught in an eyelock with that devil. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen such a strong look of hatred in Jou's eyes, even back when he and I were always at each others' throats. "Jounouchi!" I called loudly this time, effectively knocking him out of his thoughts, "Come on, we're leaving. Ms. Asuka said that we've been here long enough to receive full credit." I turned to leave once I was sure he would follow.

On my way over to change I pulled out my cell phone to call my driver.

"Master Kaiba?"

"Come get us." I ordered while pulling on the outfit that I had worn in.

"Yes sir. It won't be long; I'm in the area now."

In the area? "What are you doing in the area?" Was he the one that told Saki where we were? If that was the case, then I would-

"I just dropped master Mokuba off at a playmates house."

I almost snorted at the word 'playmate', but managed to refrain from it. "That's fine. We'll be out shortly. Don't keep me waiting." I hung up; it wasn't necessary to say goodbyes or anything . . . I guess it would be nicer, though.

So Mokuba was safe. This means that Mokuba and my driver both have an alibi . . . so then how the hell did Saki figure out where Katsuya and I had gone? If he had been in the house, Mokuba definitely would have called me. The driver said that he had just dropped Mokuba off, so they would have likely been at home if Saki **had** been by the house.

I stepped out of the changing room, wanting to pull my own hair out. Katsuya was just now walking in, looking rather . . . confused? He had probably stayed behind because his friends were questioning him or something. If I could remember, I'd ask him about it later, but I doubt that he would have said anything to fuck things up . . . well, he very well **could** have said something that would fuck things up, but probably nothing that I couldn't fix with a few finely-crafted lies. There I go, thinking about lying again.

**

* * *

**

I couldn't help but worry on the way home. Even as I stared out the window, everything just blurred as I focused solely on the issue at hand. How did he know? What did he want? Why did he play along with my lie? Was he just playing with me?

A loud growling noise caused me to jump a little . . . and then I realized it had come from Katsuya's bottomless pit.

"Are you hungry?" I teased, knowing full-well that he was.

"Yeah. Aren't you?"

Hungry? Breakfast **had** been several hours ago. Even so, I don't really feel like eating . . . "I suppose so." I lied in an attempt to make him feel at ease since he looked so out of sorts, "Where would you like to eat?" Oh, perhaps I should narrow that down a bit for my own sake. "And **not** a fast food place." I added just as he opened his mouth to make a suggestion.

His mouth instantly snapped shut. Honestly? He really can't pick anything other than some greasy, slimy, fly-infested, sorry excuse for a restaurant?

He started laughing, probably because he knew how much it annoyed me.

"I don't see what's so funny." I informed him.

"That's because **you **can't see the look on your face." He grinned, reaching both hands toward my face without warning.

I slapped them away the moment they made contact. What was he planning? I mean, sure, no one could see through the tinted windows, but it just felt so weird for him to do something so embarrassing in my car! "What on Earth are you trying to do?" I faced forward, trying to pretend that I couldn't see the puzzled look on his face . . . and pretending that I couldn't feel my pulse speeding up.

"Trying to pinch your cute little cheeks."

A lump formed in my throat and my face felt hot, "Cute?" What the hell? Cute? Of all of the words to describe me, I don't believe that _cute_ is one of them.

"Yeah. Your other cheeks are cute too."

I turned to him purely out of reaction, only to catch a wink that he threw my way. I can only imagine the look on my face. He was just **trying** to get me riled up! I'll make him pay . . .

There was suddenly the sound of someone clearing their throat and it wasn't Katsuya or I.

Ah, I hadn't put the screen up in the limousine. I continued to stare at Katsuya, since I couldn't look over at my driver like he was doing. Okay, so he had probably heard everything the dumb blond just said. No big deal . . . he wouldn't say anything. I'll make sure he doesn't say anything.

"If you tell anyone about what you just heard . . ." I looked up at his reflection in the rear view mirror.

"What did I hear? I heard nothing Master Kaiba." He lied, smiling as he watched the road.

"Hmph." I crossed my legs, pressing the button to raise the screen between us and the driver. He knew better than to tell anyone what he had heard. They all knew better.

I turned my attention back to Katsuya with the full intention of yelling at him for being such a damn pervert, but he was busy trying to pull out his own blond locks. "What the hell are you doing?" I asked, giving him the same look as I did earlier.

He looked like a deer caught in headlights for a moment before apparently realizing what I was talking about, "Ahaha, just thinking . . . Oh, which reminds me! Seto, what do you think about _that person_ appearing there?"

That person . . . Saki. So Katsuya was also curious about him showing up. "There's no way that was a coincidence. He couldn't have possibly known that we would be there. Someone had to have told him . . . but who? I was thinking it was Mokuba, but when I called my driver to come pick us up, he informed me that he had just dropped Mokuba off at a friend's house. The only way Mokuba would have told Saki was if Saki had kidnapped him and was threatening him." Hm . . . I think I need to beef up security for the time being. Knowing that bastard, he wouldn't think twice about using my brother to get to me.

"Even in those circumstances," He began, "I don't think Mokuba would tell where you were."

"You don't think?" Even if Saki threatened his life? Surely anyone in that sort of situation would speak up.

"No way; Mokuba adores you."

I couldn't help but smile when thinking about Mokuba. Even when everyone else in the world hated me, he didn't. "Perhaps he does . . ." Ah, but that's not currently the real subject at hand. "but about _that person_; I'm assuming that you only asked me about it because you had an opinion of your own." I eyed him, maybe hoping that I could read his mind or something. Was Katsuya thinking the same thing as me? He had lingered outside for a while when I had gone to change my clothes . . . had something happened that he wasn't telling me about?

I couldn't help but notice that he looked a little fidgety, "Well, my thoughts are the same as yours." Of course they are. "It was such a random location and it's not a place that either of us would ordinarily be." Very true. "I don't really know anything about him or about what kind of resources he would have, so I couldn't really make any assumptions about how he found out, so I asked what you thought."

"That's true . . ." His resources . . . what if he had some people spying on us? I would definitely have to contact a few people once we got back home. Home? My house, not Katsuya's. Not yet, at least.

This time **my** stomach got our attention and then I remembered we were having a conversation about food not too long ago. "Ah, so about lunch . . ." I reminded the blond, who couldn't have possibly forgotten about food, could he?

His eyes lit up and I thought for sure he was going to suggest some greasy spoon, "Have you ever had pizza?" He asked with ridiculous enthusiasm.

I shot him a glare, "Do you know very many people that haven't?" Even though Gozaburo never let me have it, once he was gone it was practically all Mokuba wanted to eat. I think I've had enough pizza to last me a lifetime . . . come to think of it, didn't we eat some at Katsuya's apartment?

"Well I don't know how you rich boys eat." He shrugged and stuck out his tongue when I proceeded to roll my eyes at him.

"Of course I've had pizza before . . . Mokuba loves that stuff." He really is a typical teenage boy. "I'm assuming that's what you're wanting?"

He grinned and nodded before his gaze turned into more of a blank stare. His grin started to get more and more creepy and I even looked out the window beside me to see if perhaps he was grinning at something . . . but nothing was out of the ordinary. Was he daydreaming again?

"Do your thoughts run wild a lot?"

His eyes blinked suddenly, "Me?" He asked, pointing to himself.

. . . Seriously?

"I guess I think a lot." He admitted.

"That sounds like a lie, coming from you." Actually, even though Katsuya always seemed like a total airhead, he really thought some things over. I guess that he was the type that only put a lot of effort into things that interested him. Like learning the rules to the Duel Monsters card game . . . because we all know that those are needlessly complicated . . . and they always seem to be coming out with more rules . . .

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're a funny one. Don't you ever get lost in your thoughts?"

I let out a slight laugh, "All the time. You don't actually think I'm listening during those boring lectures at school, do you? Honestly, all of that information is useless to me." I'm already the CEO of an international corporation; my future isn't riding on school. Besides . . . I've already been taught everything that I'm supposed to be learning in those classes. That's probably one of the few things that I'm thankful for from Gozaburo's shitty 'parenting'.

"Nice . . . but I've seen you writing things during lectures, so you are obviously listening enough to take notes, right? I saw you writing something during class the other day."

"Writing something?" Other than the notes that he and I were writing back and forth, I can't remember the last time I . . . oh, but I was drawing a picture a few days ago. I never did finish it. "Oh, um . . . no, I was actually . . ." do I dare tell him? "I was drawing . . ." It felt ridiculous to say that I was drawing something.

"You act like it's weird or something!" He laughed at me, slapping me lightly on the shoulder, "So what were ya drawing?"

I wasn't going to tell him it was something as girly as trees and lakes! "Where are we eating, Jou." I refused to face him, hoping he'd take the hint.

"Come on!" Hint not taken, "Tell me what you were drawing!" Again, he was reminding me of Mokuba . . . is it creepy that I'm comparing a guy that I'm in love with to my little brother?

"Hungry, hungry . . ." I clutched at my stomach and closed my eyes.

"Oh fine, but you'll have to tell me eventually!" He huffed and folded his arms.

I couldn't help but smirk for a second. Like hell I'd have to tell him. He would just forget . . . kind of like he forgot about seeing a picture of me when I was younger. I'm sure there are other things he's forgotten about but . . . heh, well, I've forgotten about them too.

**

* * *

**

In the end, I decided that I wasn't really in the mood for pizza and neither of us could really pick a restaurant that we mutually wanted to go to, so I just called home and asked the cooks to make a nice steak lunch. Normally when I have steak, I have it for dinner, but Katsuya seemed excited all the same.

When we arrived Mokuba was nowhere to be found, just as my driver had told me. Knowing him, though, it wouldn't be long before he snuck in the door and tried to eavesdrop on us.

"It will be a little while before the meal is ready, so do whatever you want until then. I'll be in my office doing some work if you need me." I probably had about half a million emails waiting for me in my inbox and who knows what so-called dilemma my employees had run into by now. I wasn't in the office like I always was and I had kind of put my career on the back-burner . . . not that my presence was a constant necessity. I'm a human, not an office fixture.

"Okay . . ." Katsuya looked uneasy as he gazed around the entrance hall in which we were currently standing, "do you have a map I can use or something?"

"A map?" Where was he going that he needed a map?

"Of your house."

I smiled and shook my head. Katsuya said such stupid, cute things. Cute? No, no, no. "You really are an idiot. It's the second door on the right down this hallway." I pointed in the direction of one of my offices. If I told him that I had more than one, he'd probably just get more confused, "If you wander around and get lost, just yell; I'll find you." I poked him on the tip of his nose and went down the hall.

When I went in my office the blinds on the outside wall were already opened to let the afternoon sun in. The natural light was nice at this time of day. I guess I'm at work too often to really notice it, let alone appreciate it. I mean sure, the light comes in those giant windows where I work but I'm always so focused on my job that I don't really pay much attention to the outside.

I should take off work more often. I think I will.

I flipped open the laptop that was sitting on my desk (told you I had spares) and powered it on. As I waited for it to boot up and then connected to my work server, my mind couldn't help but wander.

Why hadn't Katsuya come in yet?

I turned around in my chair several times, only to find that I was still alone in the room. I guess that if I turned around and he was suddenly there, I'd be startled and then pissed off, but still . . . it was weird being alone. Weird? Being alone? I just thought that?

Yeah, it was weird.

I'd been around Katsuya so much for the past week that being alone and not knowing where he was made me feel . . . sad I guess. I think that's how I feel right now, but I'm not quite sure.

I spent a while just clicking through emails, only replying to those that I felt were of relative importance. Didn't any of them feel stupid asking a teenager for help? Obviously I was far more intelligent . . . but then again, they'd probably be more intelligent if they had gone through the training that I'd experienced.

I was bright from the beginning, at least that's what my teachers had always told me. They said I was the best student they'd ever had. My parents always said so, too.

My parents . . .

"Tch, stupid." I blurted out to no one by myself.

Alone.

I pushed against the desk, effectively sliding the chair and myself away from it. I shut the laptop and poked my head out into the hallway. Katsuya wasn't standing just outside and he wasn't anywhere to be seen in the hallway. As I made my way to the lobby, he wasn't there either.

"Maybe I should get him an ankle bracelet with a GPS in it so I can track him." Knowing that mutt he was probably snooping around my house and getting into who-knows-what.

"Katsuya?" I called out, hearing it echo a bit before I went down the hallway opposite of my office. If the house help heard me, they were probably surprised. I wasn't the type to go around the house yelling for people. Then again, there wasn't anyone to call for aside for Mokuba. I always used the intercom system with . . . oh yeah! I could just use the intercom system with Katsuya! Buuuuuut, knowing him, he'd have no idea what it was and then would run away rather than respond . . . if he would even be able to figure out how to work the damn thing.

I heard a noise come from the end of the hallway, but couldn't quite decide what it sounded like. It didn't quite sound like something fell or got knocked over, but it wasn't just the house creaking.

"Katsuya?" I called again as I neared the end. At the end of the hallway is my personal library. It takes up nearly that entire end of the house, since it's two stories high. I believe the floor above the library is a gathering room. Needless to say, I don't use most of my own house.

(A/N: After finding screencaps of Kaiba Mansion, I realize that my depiction of the entryway is a bit off, sorry! It does look like it is three stories tall, though, so I'm going to go with that . . . I mean, it's not like my story is really canon anyways, right?)

There was no response from the library, even though I was pretty sure that I called his name loud enough that he'd be able to hear. Perhaps he was so busy perusing my belongings that he was oblivious to my calling. Though, would he really be checking out a library? Of all places, this was really the last place I expected to find him. Unless . . . what if it's not Katsuya? My hand froze on the door handles.

There was the sound of books falling, followed by the same odd noise that I heard earlier. Almost like gears or something. What the hell?

I yanked open the door, holding my breath unintentionally . . . until I saw bright blond hair across the room.

I approached him as he stared at the shelf of fallen books, "What are you doing?" I tried my best to sound amused at his predicament, when in reality I was suspicious. What was that weird noise?

"I, uh . . . I was looking for a book to read and accidentally tripped over my own feet and knocked a bunch of books off the shelf!" He rubbed at the back of his head as he laughed, just as he always did. Perhaps that's what he did when he was telling a lie? No, maybe just when he was nervous . . . but why would he be nervous this time?

"If I actually believed you, I'd be an idiot." His face changed from laughing to panicked in an instant. "There's no way that **you** would be looking for something to read." I forced a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood as I picked a few books up off of the floor and placed them back on the shelf. I really ought to make **him** clean them up, but perhaps if I helped, I'd find some clues as to what he was **really** doing in here.

As I was placing the books back on the shelf, I noticed that only one book had remained perfectly upright: "The Crystal Cave." To be honest, even though I told people that I had read every book I owned, I really didn't. Honestly, I may be intelligent but that doesn't mean I love every single novel in existence; far from it, actually! "Heh, this one didn't even fall over." I reached for the book out of curiosity, only to have my hand slapped away.

"Don't worry! I'll clean this up!" Jou had jumped from his place on the floor, but hadn't yet made any movements to clean up his mess. He definitely looked flustered, "What made you decide to come looking for me anyways?"

He didn't want me to come looking for him? Had I come in at a bad time? Why was I so damn suspicious of Katsuya? This is **Jounouchi Katsuya** we're talking about! Even so, that noise . . . "Well . . ." I rubbed my abused hand, "I guess I decided to look for you because I had assumed that you would eventually join me in my office, but you never did."

"Uh, I thought you wanted me to leave you alone."

"Well, I mean . . . Mokuba isn't here, so I just figured that . . ." Was I being awkward? Without Mokuba here, Katsuya and I could hang out and talk without worrying about him spying or butting in. Shouldn't we take advantage of time like that?

He looked surprised for some reason, "Were you wanting to do something?" His face inched closer.

Do something? . . . **OH**.

"Nothing like that!" I informed him, much to his evident disappointment, "I just figured since it was finally quiet around here and there was no one to be nosey . . . we could just talk, you know?"

"Not really."

"Pervert."

"Only for you."

"Liar."

"Not anymore."

"Not anymore?" What the hell did he mean by that? He wasn't a liar **anymore**?

"I used to check girls out all the time. I would think 'oh, she's sexy' or 'damn, look at those tits!' but now . . . I don't know. When we were at the pool today, I didn't even think about checking out the girls in their bikinis or anything. I hadn't thought about it while we were there, but now that you called me a pervert, it finally occurred to me. I finally found someone way more fun to look at!" He grinned, his hands landing on my shoulders.

Oh, so he meant that he was no longer a pervert for anyone other than me . . . "Is that supposed to be a compliment?" I folded my arms and shook my head. Honestly, I think he is well-intentioned, but some of the things he says just sound really creepy.

"Seto?" A woman's voice came from the intercom over by the door. It sounded like the head of housekeeping, Miyu.

I could have sworn that Jou went cross-eyed for a second, "What the hell?" He started looking all around the room for the voice that seemed to appear out of nowhere. Yeah, good thing I hadn't used the intercom system to contact him earlier.

I went to the machine by the door, "Yes?"

"Lunch is prepared and waiting for you and your guest in the dining hall." She sure sounded happy today. It was probably because we actually had a guest staying at the house that was over the age of 13. Mokuba's friends tended to be obnoxious and rowdy. Miyu always pestered me to make friends and have them over. I was unbearably tempted to bring home a bunch of hookers just to piss her off, but I never did it.

"Thank you." I smiled at the dingy blond behind me, "Hurry up with those books so that we can go eat, mutt."

"Uh, right!" He hastily picked up the last books and shoved them onto the shelf. They sure didn't seem of any importance and he hadn't panicked when I picked up the first few books, so why did he slap my hand? "Who was that woman?" He asked, joining me in the doorway.

Was he jealous or something? He looked bothered, "The head of housekeeping, Asato Miyu." We turned out the lights and shut the doors behind us. He didn't seem too satisfied with my answer, so I added "She's worked at this house for more than a decade now." Get it, Jou? She's an older lady. She isn't a threat. Maybe Jou didn't see it that way at all, but . . . I guess it's kind of nice to imagine that maybe he's worried.

"So she worked for Gozaburo before she worked for you?"

"Yeah."

"Why does she call you Seto rather than 'Master Kaiba' like everyone else? You said that they also worked for Gozaburo."

So maybe it bothered him when people called me by my first name? No, no, Seto, don't get so full of yourself. Katsuya is a very curious person. "Miyu has always been . . . kind of a mother figure, as annoying as she can be."

"Did she know about what went on in this house?"

Oh, so he was leading up to something like that. "Yeah, but it's not like she could do anything about it. She'd be risking her own life and the life of her family." I shouldn't have added that last bit. I felt like I was opening a can of worms.

"Risking her life?" He stopped walking, but I continued on, not really interested in continuing this conversation.

"Perhaps we'll discuss it at a later time. Aren't you hungry?" I thought he really loved food.

He followed after me toward the dining room and I thought that he had given up for the time being, but I was mistaken. "Hey Seto . . . did someone try to help you in the past? Did someone get hurt or killed while trying to help you?"

I couldn't help but react a little. How could he have inferred so much from so little information? Maybe it was just a good guess; Katsuya seemed to have a bit of luck every now and then.

"_You can't stay here if they're doing those things to you, Seto!"_

I quickly regained my composure. I didn't want to have this fucking conversation right now! Why did he insist on pestering me about something that I was obviously against discussing?

"After we eat, do you want to go out and sit in the hot tub for a little while since Mokuba isn't here to bother us?" I lowered my voice, lacing it with a hint of suggestion even though it meant nothing. This method always seemed to do the trick.

"Sure!" He agreed, taking the bait easily, "While we're out there, you can answer my questions." What the fuck?

He ran up to walk beside me, grinning like a bratty child. I stopped walking.

"Listen, I know that I might have told you that I would tell you everything once we got here, but let me be honest with you now; I was hoping you would just forget it. There are some secrets that I just want to let die. Don't I have that right? Can't I just let the past be the past?" I left for the dining hall once more.

I'd been asking myself those same questions for the past few years. Can't the past just die? But as long as I have those flashbacks, the past will melt with the present and the mental scars will never fade. Even with medication to lessen them, the pill bottles are a constant, depressing reminder of what I have become. The person I am now is nothing but a bunch of mental and physical scars that have accumulated over the years and completely suffocated who I once was.

I couldn't hear his footsteps again until we both entered the dining hall together and sat down to eat. Maybe I finally got my point through his thick skull.

"I couldn't forget something so interesting!" Are you fucking kidding me? "Since you were so honest with me just now, I guess that I should be honest with you. I want to know everything there is to know about you. I don't want to know because I want to write a good paper or have an awesome project; I want to know because I'm unbearably curious! You're a much more interesting person than I ever thought you were, and now you've got me wondering!" He stuffed his face with a fork full of meat.

I, on the other hand, folded my napkin and placed it in my lap before eating like a **human**. I tried to remain cool and collected; no sense in blowing up at him. "Whatever the reason may be, it doesn't mean that I'm required to tell you."

"Maybe not." He still had a mouth full of food. "But wouldn't you feel better knowing dat you had shomeone to share your shecretsh wif?" Ugh, I could see the chewed-up steak!

"Don't talk with food in your mouth." I pointed at him with my fork, glaring, "Besides, Mokuba seems to know just about all of them; he told me about it last night." I cut off a piece of steak, biting it off my fork without looking like a barbarian. Perhaps I could teach Katsuya by example.

"So he can know, but I can't?"

"He's my brother." Katsuya and I have only been relatively close for a week! A week and thirteen years are significantly different.

"True. I can't compete with someone like that."

"Compete?" The last thing I wanted was for Katsuya and Mokuba to be in some sort of weird competition against each other. I certainly didn't want to end up caught in the middle of it.

"For your trust."

"It's not that I don't trust you, I would just rather not talk about some things."

He just kept shoveling food into that giant mouth of his.

"Jounouchi, why don't you tell me about the time that your parents split up and your mother took your sister away from you?" That was pretty much the only thing I knew about that really upset him. I suppose it was mean to suddenly ask about it, but he needed to know how I felt about him asking similar things of me.

"Why would you want to know about something like that?" He was taken aback.

"I'm just curious, I guess. I don't know much about you, so I figured I would ask about it." I took another bite, watching his reaction. If he couldn't fulfill this simple request, why would he expect me to answer his questions?

"Well, I'm sure you've already figured out that my dad is a complete loser." So he was going to tell me after all. "I think that before Shizuka and I were born, he was a better person. My mother wouldn't have married him otherwise. Anyways, he became an alcoholic and he cheated on my mother several times. I don't remember it too well because I was very young, but I know that my mother forgave him the first couple of times, letting him use his drinking habits as an excuse." I watched him fidget under my gaze, tapping his fork against his plate. Still, he kept his eyes relatively locked with mine. "I guess that my mother finally had enough and decided to split up with him. She took Shizuka with her, but . . ."

"But what?" He was finally getting to the part that actually bothered him.

"I never really figured out why she didn't take me." He looked away. Bingo.

"You know where she is now, right? Haven't you ever asked her?" I put down my silverware, more interested in this conversation than I was in my lunch.

"I guess that I never really had the courage to ask."

Courage? Katsuya was a very confrontational person. "That could be it," I lied, "but maybe the real reason you haven't asked is because you're afraid of the answer you might get." The latter was far more likely.

His eyes grew wide as he just stared down at his plate. Had he really never thought of it like that before? If it bothers him so much, he should just confront his mother about it . . .

I let out a sigh, "Someone did try to help me when Gozaburo was still alive." If he was willing to pour his heart out like that, I owed him one, right?

Katsuya looked up at me, his interest clearly captured, "Who was it?"

"Most of Gozaburo's business partners were older men with children much older than myself. Needless to say, I didn't have many friends." Mokuba was my only friend. "There was one man, though, who wasn't quite as old as the others. His name was Mitsugawa Yuki, sound familiar?"

"Mitsugawa . . . ah, Mistugawa Corporation? Don't they make electronics?" Ah, so he **did** know a few big-name corporations.

"Right. Mitsugawa Corporation helped make a lot of the technology that went into our combat vehicles. Yuki had a son that was my exact age and the two of us quickly became friends. His son . . ." The only person besides Saki that knew who I had once been . . . "His son was named Mitsugawa Satoshi."

"Satoshi . . ." Jou looked a little surprised, but why? Had I talked about Satoshi much before? Though with all of the episodes I've been having lately, it wouldn't be too shocking if I had accidentally called out his name once or twice.

"It wasn't long until Satoshi was able to get me to tell him everything that was going on in my life. He had seen the scars and bruises on my arms and legs. I told him not to tell another soul, but he insisted that he couldn't consider himself a good friend unless he tried to help me."

"_That's what friends do, Seto! Friends help each other!"_

"Satoshi convinced his father to contact the police about my situation. To make a long story short, Gozaburo threatened to have someone kill Mokuba if I didn't lie to the police and tell them that there was nothing going on. Gozaburo used his money and status to keep the investigation from going any further and to keep the media quiet. When I was lying to the police, Satoshi was there with them, and I could see the horror and disappointment on his face as I spoke."

"_Abused? My father has never laid a hand on me!"_

_He stood far behind them, watching. I thought that . . . that he might cry right there. My friend . . . my best friend . . ._

"_Friends help each other!"_

"I felt horrible, but what was I supposed to do? What could I have possibly done?" A choice between Mokuba or Satoshi? The answer is obvious!

"But . . . that's not where the story ends, is it?"

He wanted more than that? Oh, of course he did. He wanted to know why no one ever helped. Okay, fine. I'll tell him the whole story . . . maybe . . . maybe talking about it **would** do some good . . .

"Gozaburo wasn't about to let Mitsugawa Satoshi and Mitsugawa Yuki get away with what they had done. Not only did he punish me for telling Satoshi everything," I still remember the crack of the whip against my back, "but he wanted the two of them out of the picture . . . permanently."

"So he had them killed?"

Oh if only it was that simple. "On that island where we had part of my Battle City tournament, there used to be a bunch of Kaiba Corporation facilities. One of those buildings was normally used for testing prototype weapons and machinery. What public **didn't** know is that he often used it for murder. Gozaburo had some of his men bring Yuki and Satoshi to that facility. I watched as Yuki was gunned down right in front of my best friend."

I had to cover my face, I felt the tears starting to sting at the backs of my eyes. I've done enough fucking crying! This is ridiculous! I've seen this memory a thousand times in my head! Why does it still hurt?

"_Father! Father! Wake up, father! Wake up! Don't die! Please don't die!"_

"He was screaming and calling out for his father while my adoptive father's men held him by his arms. I wanted to die right there. Gozaburo said that Satoshi would be killed by me and he handed me a gun with which to do it." The cold metal against my hands and large, tear-filled brown eyes staring at me, pleading with me. "I couldn't do something like that! I couldn't kill my best friend! But Gozaburo was ready for my defiance . . . he gave me two choices: either I kill Satoshi, or he would train Mokuba in my place." Mokuba's sweet and innocent smile, I gave everything for the sake of that smile, "Of course I would save Mokuba. I remember trying to aim at his head while those men held him on either side." If I shot his head, perhaps he would die instantly and without so much pain. "My hands were shaking along with the rest of my body while I shook with sobs that sounded so pathetic."

Just like right now. I felt the warm liquid begin to run down my face and only then did I realize I had let the tears escape. A kind hand began to rub gently on my back . . . lovingly, even. I found myself unable to stop my own story.

"He couldn't believe that I was really going to shoot him. He asked me 'What happened to the Seto who laughed and smiled and had so many friends? What happened to Yagami Seto?' I couldn't bear to hear his voice, couldn't bear to hear the pleading tone, couldn't bear . . . to hear my old name. I shot him and he collapsed to the floor, his own blood pooling around him as his eyes continued to stare upward at the ceiling . . . that night, Mokuba tried to comfort me. I just couldn't stop crying over what I had done, and I wondered if Mokuba figured out what happened . . . but he didn't really know until I told him last night . . ."

"I'm sorry, Seto. You shouldn't blame yourself, though. That piece of shit forced you to do it."

"Regardless of the situation, I was the one that pulled the trigger. Maybe if I had just quickly turned and killed Gozaburo instead . . ."

"Then his men would have shot **you**."

That's true." I wiped at my eyes, feeling pathetic. "Well, have I satisfied your curiosity for now?" Maybe he felt guilty enough that he would lay off on the questions, at least for a while.

"For now, yes." He leaned over and tilted my head towards his with just one hand, kissing me for the first time in a while . . .

. . . and it felt nice. When we parted, he hugged me tightly, his gold-colored hair brushing against my cheek . . . which reminded me of something.

"You know, Satoshi had golden blond hair and chocolate brown eyes, just like you. To be honest, that's part of the reason why you annoyed me so much when we first began speaking. It was like fate was trying to torture me." But in the end . . . maybe it was fates way of letting me try again.

"So . . . the reason you let me kiss you is because I look like Satoshi?"

"Nope." I don't think I ever would have kissed Satoshi; we were just friends. "It's because I'm a freak that likes to be intimate with dogs, remember?" I winked, picking up my fork to finish my food, "Eat up before it gets cold, mutt."

"The dog jokes again?"

"Did they ever stop?"

"Heh, I guess not."

One of my housekeepers came into the room, "I'm sorry to interrupt, Mr. Kaiba, but when I picked up your guest's swimsuit, this paper fell out of the pocket." She held her palm out to Katsuya to reveal a folded piece of paper.

A folded piece of paper in his _swimsuit_? We had changed at the poolhouse and when we got home my driver took them to housekeeping to be cleaned. So then where on Earth had that come from?

"What is that?"

He snatched it quickly from the woman's hand, "It's just something I had in there from my house."

"Bullshit. You got in the pool and that paper clearly never got wet." I reached for his hand to take it from him, but he jumped up from his chair and moved away from me.

"Seto, I'm sure it's nothing!"

"You're **sure** it's nothing? You don't even know what it is?" I was up from my own seat now. What kind of idiot has something and they don't even know what it is? It was completely suspicious! "Aren't you the one that always preaches about not keeping secrets?"

"Fine!" He grabbed one of my hands, shoving the note into it and then shoving my hand roughly against my chest, "Read it your fucking self! Saki pulled me aside and gave it to me when you had gone off to the poolhouse earlier! I never read it because I had forgotten about it!"

"Saki?" Was he a fucking dumbass? I turned to the housekeeper. The last thing I needed was for this to be the topic of the gossiping women in the house, "Get out." I shot her a glare that I normally reserve for those that ought to just die, but desperate times call for desperate measures. She disappeared in a flash. "Saki gave this to you? You didn't bother to just destroy it?" I inspected the paper, almost expected some kind of tracking device to be attached or something.

"I was tempted, believe me . . . but I wanted to know what it said . . ."

I unfolded it only to find a few small lines of text. "Tomorrow. Kitamori Corporation. 10:00 AM." I read out loud. I stared into those curious brown eyes, "Sounds like he's wanting you to go there at that time." As if Katsuya would be that fucking stupid.

"He wants to meet me? I wonder what he has to say . . ."

"Are you kidding me!" I grabbed him by the shirt, shaking him, "Curiosity is one thing, but don't be an idiot! He wants to **kill** you!" Okay, okay, so he might not want to kill him, but there is definitely that possibility! I have to expect the worst!

"Why would he want to kill me?"

"Because-" Well, obviously there wouldn't be any monetary gain from it, nor would he benefit from it in his career . . . and obviously he wouldn't win me over by killing Jou . . . "Well there isn't any logical reason, of course, but he hates you because you're with me. He's crazy . . ."

"I think he has something that he wants to tell me."

Something that he wants to tell Katsuya? What could possibly have given him an idea like that? Was he hiding something else from me? "You're not going." I released his collar, folding my arms before I was tempted to really beat the shit out of him.

"I'll go if I want to."

"You're not going. If I have to chloroform you and lock you in a room, I will."

A frightened look came across his face, "What?"

"You're not going." Perhaps I should keep my methods to myself.

"I think you're overreacting."

"And I think **you're** an idiot!" Actually, I **know** he's an idiot this time! "I'm worried, okay? I know Saki a little bit better than you do."

"Obviously you didn't at one point in time."

I could feel my pulse quicken with anger, but did my best to hide it. Katsuya had a habit of speaking before thinking, "Either way, he's shown his true colors. If he kills you, it's likely that he'll find a way to cover it up. Don't think so highly of the justice system." I was sixteen years old when I single-handedly covered up the murder of Kaiba Gozaburo, one of the most powerful men in the city, and make it look like suicide. It wouldn't take much for Saki to cover up the murder of a commoner.

"Does he have something to do with this 'Kitamori Corporation' mentioned in the note?"

Had I not told him about that before? "He's the only son of the owner. His father is the chairman and CEO of Kitamori Corporation. Saki is Kitamori Saki. I used to love that name. I remember how excited I was when I first realized that we shared the same initials, K.S. Kitamori Saki, Kaiba Seto." A small laugh escaped me, "Isn't that childish?"

"_K.S. x K.S.?" I examined the sterling silver bracelet he gave me for my fifteenth birthday._

"_Our initials. Don't you like it?" His silver eyes became like crescent moons as he smiled kindly._

"You were in love . . . I hope I don't ever break your heart like he did."

"If you don't want to break my heart, then tear up that note and forget about it."

"But what if he hunts me down and kills me for not coming to meet him?"

"What have I walked in on? Who is killing whom?"

Mokuba was home!

"Mokuba, Saki appeared at the pool today." Mokuba would definitely take my side!

"What?" He took a step back, eyes wide.

"Apparently he gave Jou this note." I passed it to Mokuba, who studied it for a moment.

"Alright, Jou!" What? "Bring a few guns and some ammo and turn that asshole into swiss cheese!" Mokuba gave Jou a grin and a thumbs up, winking. Wait a minute, who said he could cuss? And why the hell was he siding with Katsuya?

"Mokuba!"

"Not the reaction you were expecting?" Katsuya was clearly pleased with how things turned out, "Mokuba, your brother is worried that if I go meet Saki, he'll try to kill me."

"Oh, he might." Mokuba looked thoughtful.

"I'm going no matter what." Katsuya remained stubborn even though he had just lost his advantage, "I don't think I'll be killing him, but I guess I can't rule it out."

"Katsuya!" Talking about killing Saki? There's no way he should kill anyone! But . . . if it meant saving his own life, then . . .

"I want to face him, Seto. If not for you, then for myself. I have to face him, I absolutely have to. It's like people always say . . . I'm stubborn and I'm stupid. It's your own fault for liking a stupid guy, Mr. Teen Genius." He smiled.

Was there nothing I could say to change his mind? Stubborn and stupid . . . he had that right. "You really are an idiot." I shook my head and accompanied it with a defeated sigh. Should I really let him just run into the hornet's nest like that? If something happened, I'd never be able to forgive myself.

"_If not for you, then for myself." _

Why was it so important to him? "Fine."

"Woohoo!" He jumped into the air.

"You can go and meet Saki, **but** you must bring something with you for self defense." I went to the fake plant in the corner, grabbing it and pulling it from the pot with ease, 'soil' and all. I retrieved the small, loaded handgun from within.

"Do you have those things hidden all over the house?" He eyed the gun suspiciously.

"Basically." I glanced down at Mokuba, who also had his eyes on the weapon, "Don't get any ideas." I passed the gun to Katsuya, who hesitantly accepted it. "Don't shoot him unless it is self defense. You'll be on his turf, so I won't be able to save your ass." That isn't to say that I won't have a few of my own men follow him. "Also . . . if you **do** shoot him, make it worthwhile . . ."

I could hear my own heart beating hard against my chest.

". . . and shoot to kill."

**

* * *

**

Crazy! Alright ladies (and gents?)! I have finally caught this story up with the other one! Thank you for reading and thank you for your patience! Expect a new chapter before the end of June for sure! I'm strangely in a writing mood . . . please send love with your reviews and maybe a few posts on my forum . . please?

**Important Notes:**

It seems that this website no longer allows for authors to use dashes to separate scenes and it seems that the dashes were removed in all of my previous chapters, so unless I download each chapter (I had most of them on my old computer before it crashed) and then read through, find the scene switches, and then edit them and put the separator bars in, they will be confusing for new readers. Sorry!

Also, Some of the dialogue in this chapter has been changed from the original due to a continuity error that I accidentally created when I wrote the night scene between Seto and Mokuba. Cookies to whoever noticed the difference!


	29. Day Eight: Everything is Ours

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

**

* * *

**

Here is another chapter! I'm slowing down again . . . ugh . . . enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: Yugioh is property of Kazuki Takahashi. This story belongs to me! I don't make money off of it, though . . . perhaps I should finally get started on that novel I've been wanting to write . . .

**Funny Note:** Each version of Behind Blue Eyes is more than twice as long as the first Harry Potter novel . . . just let that thought sink in while I hang myself . . .

* * *

_**Recap:**_

"_If you __**do**__ shoot him, make it worthwhile . . ."_

_I could hear my own heart beating hard against my chest._

"_. . . and shoot to kill."_

**

* * *

**

Katsuya let out a nervous laugh, "Real funny."

Did he really think that I was joking? Surely he remembers what just happened only a few days ago. Has he already forgotten what kind of person Saki is? Katsuya has only had a taste of what Saki is capable of, "If you shoot him and he lives, he'll definitely kill you." Without hesitation, Saki would kill him.

"Wow, the atmosphere sure is tense!" Mokuba put his hands on his hips as he stood between us, looking from Katsuya's face and then to mine. Mokuba doesn't like tense situations, so it makes sense that he would try to lighten things up. "Just relax! It's not like Saki could cover it up, Seto, not if **you're** the one that says Saki killed him. You have a way higher status in society than that worthless piece of-"

I shot him a look, daring him to let a foul word leave his mouth.

"-poo." That's more like it.

While there is a chance that my word would override the word of the Kitamori family, one fact still remains: "Even then, Katsuya would still be dead." I wasn't worried because Saki would get away with murder; I was worried because Katsuya could be **killed**.

"That's true . . ." Mokuba admitted, scrunching up his face with thought.

"You guys, he won't kill me!" The blond insisted, clearly frustrated with the situation.

"Yeah, Saki probably isn't dumb enough to kill him, Seto." Mokuba eyed Katsuya, nodding his head and rubbing his chin. He was then quick to change the topic, "So what were you guys up to while I was gone, hmmmmmmm?" He held his hands behind his back while he grinned from ear to ear.

"We had lunch." I'd let the topic die for now, but Katsuya and I were going to have a serious discussion about meeting Saki tonight when Mokuba wasn't around to interrupt, "Sorry, but I didn't have them make any for you. I thought you'd be at your friend's house longer." Or rather, I had **hoped** he'd be there longer.

My brother only laughed, "No you didn't! I always come home shortly after I get there. My friend's are all so lame!" And I'm not? He'd rather be here with Katsuya and I than with kids his own age? I wonder what his idea of fun consists of.

"So I'm guessing that your hot tub offer no longer stands." Katsuya nodded his head towards Mokuba. Was he **trying** to embarrass me? I just won't let on that I'm pissed and then he won't be satisfied. Hah! That'll show that stupid blond.

"Oh?" Mokuba cooed, "By all means, you lovebirds go and enjoy yourselves! I'll be a good boy and leave you alone."

Lovebirds? Was **everyone** trying to get on my bad side today? Don't show anger, don't show anger, don't show anger . . . all he wants is a reaction. I just stared at Katsuya until I was sure that I might burn holes into that thick skull of his and then I looked down at Mokuba, "Will you really?" Somehow I don't believe for a second that Mokuba could leave us to ourselves, knowing what he knows about us.

"I will!" He was still grinning.

"You know that if you go back on your word and end up bothering us, I'll be disappointed in you."

Mokuba's grin faded instantly, "Yes, Seto." That's more like it.

Mokuba is a good kid, he really is. It's just that in the last year or so he has been very bad about doing what he's asked. I guess that's where he and I are the same; we do what we want to do and not what we are **told** to do.

"Awesome!" Jou blurted out before grabbing me by the wrist and practically dragging me toward the stairs.

"What's the big rush?" I didn't fight his grip, as that would probably only end up hurting my arm.

"I get to see you without a shirt on this time, right?"

What the hell? "You've seen me **naked** before, so what's the big deal?" It felt really weird to say it, but it was the truth. I woke up naked in his bed right after Saki . . . right after he . . .

"But the situation is completely different this time! We're gonna be shirtless, wet, and alone together!"

Shirtless, wet, and alone together? He sounded awfully excited about this. "Suddenly I don't know if I want to do this anymore . . ." What if he tried something weird while we were out there? With only shorts between us . . . that wasn't much. What would I do? He wouldn't try something outside; that would be indecent. What am I talking about? This is Katsuya! Decency isn't his forte.

He finally released me from his death-grip once we arrived in my bedroom.

"You know that I love you, right?" He asked suddenly, catching me completely off guard. What the hell was I supposed to answer to something like that? It came completely out of nowhere! "So then you know that I won't do anything bad." He concluded on his own.

Sure it sounded nice, but . . . "You've tried to before." I looked away from him. I couldn't let those kind eyes reel me in. His actions when I first arrived at his apartment last week couldn't be overlooked so easily.

"That was before I fell in love with you." He sounded hurt. I suppose that the situation was slightly different at the time, but it isn't much of an excuse for his intentions. I don't even want to know his exact intentions.

Before he fell in love with me.

"_You know that I love you, right?" _

"You say such embarrassing things." I turned away from him and folded my arms. I actually wanted to smack him with a pillow or something, but manage to refrain from doing so.

"Embarrassing, huh? Is it also embarrassing when I do this?" Soft fingers turned my head until I was facing their owner. Katsuya leaned in and kissed me without warning, just like he always did. It was short-lived, but nice just the same. Nice? Yeah, it was nice. When he was finished, though, he put his forehead against mine and the two of us just stood there like that. He really is such a romantic . . . it's almost disgusting.

"Yeah, that's embarrassing too." I informed him, looking into his eyes. Wait a second, "Didn't you used to be shorter?" I had been noticing it for a while, but it was still weird to be so close in height.

"Years ago when we first met! I've grown a little since then. You're just now noticing?"

"No, I just never said anything before." I pulled away from him, unable to take the awkward position any longer, "Let's get changed, okay?"

"Yeah. Oh, I only have one pair of trunks."

Was he blind or just oblivious? "Look on my bed." They were laying right there the whole time. It wasn't like they were blending in or anything.

"The house help is really efficient." He looked surprised, "Where are yours?" He lifted the article of clothing from my bed, examining it as if they couldn't have possibly been his.

"They put my laundry away for me." If they didn't, what good would they be? "They don't know what to do with your clothes." I laughed a little. It was kind of funny that they just left it sitting on the bed, but at the same time . . . are they stupid? They couldn't have asked me where I'd like them to put his clothing? My bed isn't the place for such things. "I guess we'll have to make room for your clothes." Of all of the places in my room, my chest of drawers was probably the best place. My closet was for me only. I went to the chest of drawers, "You can put your things in here."

"But where will you put all of your-"

I opened the second drawer, showing him that it was empty, "I only use the top drawer. Practically my entire wardrobe is business attire or at least business casual, so I hang everything in my closet. Even the few t-shirts that I own are hanging up. Apparently they're more likely to get wrinkled in a drawer." That's what the housekeepers told me. I wouldn't be caught dead walking around in wrinkled clothes!

"Why do you only use the top drawer?"

Seriously? Was he that clueless? Maybe not everyone used their drawers for the same purpose, but I thought that putting underclothes in the top drawer was pretty standard . . .

"Oh, your underwear." He answered for me, grinning like a total creep afterward.

"Do I need to have a lock installed?" I was only half-joking. I don't know what I'd do if I walked into my room one day only to find Jou sniffing my boxers or something. "Anyways, you can just put all of your clothes in here." I eyed the bags that he had brought with him and then looked back to the drawer. Yeah, they ought to fit. I guess that since he only had that small amount of clothes with him, it would be just fine . . . he wouldn't be staying long, after all. At the end of the week he'll be leaving and it will just be Mokuba and I.

He laughed, "I'm sure they'll all fit in one drawer."

"Yeah I know." I informed him, "I was just . . ." No, I shouldn't keep bugging him about moving in. If he really wanted to move in, he would have said so before.

_"Since the two of us would be all alone and your father is a fuck-up, why don't you just move in with me?"_

_"I'll think about it."_

He just said he'd think about it . . . that means no, right?

"You okay?" I felt the weight of his hand on my shoulder, startling me just a bit.

How could he act so kind and yet say something so cold? It took a lot for me to ask him to move in with me! "Uh, yeah. I was just . . ." Should I say something? "I . . ." I should say something. Just say it. "Do you really not want to move in with me?" I looked him directly in the eyes. Don't reject me, don't reject me . . .

His eyes went wide, "Seto, I was totally joking when I said that I would think about it! Why the hell would I pass up on an offer to move into the Kaiba mansion?"

**What?** You mean all this fucking time I've been worried about absolutely noth-

wait.

"So . . . you'll move in with me?"

"Yeah, of course I will."

I couldn't help but smile. I don't mean just any smile, either. I haven't smiled so big in ages. I just couldn't help it! Katsuya was going to move in! I wasn't going to get lonely ever again! I mean, sure I had Mokuba . . . but someday Mokuba will leave . . . Jou's moving in!

"That's great." I tried not to give away my uncontrollable excitement more than I already had. I mean, it's great that I'll have someone all the time, but why the hell is my heart beating so fast? Obviously my life lacks any kind of excitement whatsoever. Something like this shouldn't make me so happy.

I pulled out my cell phone to call some people to go and get his belongings. If I waited too long, he might change his mind! "I'll just call some people right now to go get your things and-"

"Woah, woah!" He pulled my phone out of my hand. If he said that he was just joking about moving in . . . "Not just yet! Hot tub first, moving later." He closed my phone, tossing it onto my bed, "Okay?"

Heh, I guess I was being a bit hasty. There's no way he'd change his mind, right? I'll make sure that he doesn't have a reason to change his mind. "Right, of course." I opened the bottom drawer and retrieved my swimming trunks.

"I thought you only used the top drawer."

"Oh, that's right. I use the bottom one too. Guess you'll just have to use your own furniture." I winked at him . . . I winked at him? Oh man, I'm losing it. I went into the bathroom and shut the door behind me.

As I was changing, thoughts raced through my head about the coming situation. Katsuya and I were going to be out in my hot tub together with nothing between us but the shorts we'd be wearing . . . it makes me nervous! What if he was expecting something? What if I didn't do what he wanted and so he decides not to move in? No, no, Katsuya isn't that type of person . . .

. . . but neither was Saki.

Why do I keep having such contradicting thoughts? One minute I don't want him to leave me and the next minute I'm worried that he's going to sexually assault me! I need to make up my mind . . . but it's really hard for me to say that I completely trust him. In reality, I'd be lying if I said that I completely trust Katsuya. I don't know what it will take for me to trust him that way, but I hope that I can some day. Whatever powers that may exist, please, please, **please** don't let Katsuya betray me.

I came out of the bathroom, in my swimming attire, only to find Jou shirtless and sitting on my bed with one of my pillows on his lap. Luckily I could see his trunks sticking out from beneath it otherwise I would have thought he was naked . . . I don't know what I would have done then. Killed him? Something close to it at least. "What are you doing with my pillow?" Why would he have a pillow in his lap? If he had his shorts on . . . maybe he was trying to make me think he was naked as a joke.

"I was sniffing it again." He told me, that goofy grin on his face like usual. Sniffing it again? That answer came out of him a bit too easily . . . whatever; it doesn't matter.

I shook my head, "Well, let's go."

I left my bedroom and he was following behind me, which made me a little uneasy. Here I am, no shirt, no shoes, and just a pair of shorts on and there is someone walking behind me. He's staring at my back, no doubt, with all of those hideous scars on it.

"You're still gorgeous." He informed me, out of nowhere.

"Still?" I asked, continuing my steady pace toward the stairs. He was either reading my mind or thinking out loud. Perhaps something like 'you may have those ugly scars, but you're still gorgeous'. That word certainly doesn't describe me.

I couldn't see his face, but his moment of silence told me that he was probably silently cursing himself. He didn't need to hide it; I know it's hard not to stare at them. Has Mokuba ever seen them? I usually just sit by the pool and read while he's in it swimming around, so it's possible that he's never seen them. If he has, he's never said anything. Mokuba isn't the type to keep quiet about this sort of thing.

"Even with your scars . . ." He eventually added.

"You don't have to lie to me, you know. They're ugly, just say so." Just fucking say it. I know that they're ugly, so lying about it is only annoying.

"They don't make you ugly." He insisted, "You're physically beautiful, but I love you because of you."

"Because of me?" I stopped walking this time and Katsuya went around me, standing in front and facing me. What the hell did he mean by that? He used to hate me because of my attitude! My attitude hasn't changed one bit!

. . . has it?

"Because you're _Seto_." He was grinning again as he placed both of his hands on my shoulders.

Because I'm Seto? "Because I'm Kaiba Seto?" What the hell is he talking about?

"Nah. Just Seto."

**Oh**. He loves me . . . because I'm me. Not because I'm rich, not because of my appearance . . . though it seems to help . . . but because . . . I'm me.

"_I love your beautiful blue eyes, your gorgeous brown hair, your sexy legs, that adorable face . . . I love everything about you."_

Saki never said that he loved me because I was me, at least not that I can remember.

I closed my eyes as the situation started to feel awkward, "Stop saying such embarrassing things." I brushed away his hands and went down the stairs with Katsuya right at my heels like usual. Did he never think to walk **next** to me?

Mokuba was standing by the back door that we were going to and I just knew he was prepared to say something weird.

"You two kids play niiiiiiiice!" He winked at Jou, "Remember, other people use that hot tub too, so don't make a mess!"

"Mokuba!" I knew it! Some of the things he has been saying recently are really beginning to worry me. Is he hanging around the wrong people? Perhaps I'll have some extensive research done on his friends.

"Aww, lighten up, bro!" This time he winked at **me** before running off. Knowing him, he was probably going to annoy the women in the house . . . of course, they all thought it was cute.

"I swear, sometimes he says the most vulgar things." I opened the back door and went outside.

Katsuya followed me, "That's what public school does to kids." He informed me, laughing.

Public school? That would make sense. I went to public school before I was adopted, but was homeschooled until Gozaburo died. Mokuba also didn't go through the same strict training that I went through. I guess that perhaps he seems to strange to me because of the difference in how we were raised. Mokuba acts like a typical teenage boy and I act like an old man . . . well, that's what some people have told me. At least I'm **not** an old man . . . fucking geezers.

I started to head toward the hot tub when I realized that my shadow wasn't with me. "Jou?" I turned around to see him looking all around with wide eyes and a slightly-opened mouth. Did he just see something? I looked off in the same direction, but nothing was there. "Hey! Katsuya!" Still he didn't answer, so I stepped right in front of him to cut off his line of sight, "You okay?"

He instantly snapped out of his trance, "Yeah, it's just . . . wow! This area is so huge and neat-looking." Neat-looking? Katsuya is also a typical teenage boy. "Where I live, I don't even have a yard. I lived in a house with a yard before my parents split up, but it was nothing like this at all." Where he lives? I think he's forgetting something.

I granted him a smile, "What are you talking about? You live _here_ now, remember?" I faced my pool, holding out my arms as if to encompass everything, "All of this is yours too." All of this . . . is _ours_.

I went over to the hot tub . . . but he still hadn't followed! Looking back over at him I could see that he was zoning out again. Honestly, who zones out as much as that dumb blond? "Earth to Katsuya!" I called out, hoping he'd hear me and come over without me having to drag his happy ass.

"On my way!" He ran over and immediately stepped into the water, "This feels awesome!"

"Are you sitting on a jet?" I raised one brow and smirked. Okay, so that was a vulgar joke . . . I blame Mokuba. And public schooling.

"I'm not **that** weird."

I finally went in as well and dared to take a seat right beside him. I'm not sure what possessed me to sit so close but, well . . . I did. "I haven't been in here in a long while. Feels good." I smiled and closed my eyes. The hot water really did feel relaxing. I could almost fall asleep. Jou would keep me from drowning; I trust him to do at least that much.

Speaking of trust . . . "Hey Jou?"

"Yeah?"

"What were you really doing in my library today?" I leaned back, opened my eyes, and tilted my head just enough that I could still look at his face. Sometimes you can tell if a person is lying just by looking at their expression. Katsuya isn't very good at keeping a poker face.

He stared at me for a moment, "What do you mean? I was just looking around. You have more books than our school!"

Trying to steer the conversation another direction? A sign of guilt. "I heard a weird noise coming from there. I heard it twice, actually. Then you were acting really weird when I came in and tried to help you pick the books up."

This time he just stared at me and said nothing at all.

I let him sweat a bit before announcing my conclusion, "So something did happen. Weren't you the one preaching about telling the truth?" Nobody likes a hypocrite . . . not that I haven't been a hypocrite before.

"Alright, alright!" He got into the same position as me, "I was just walking along, running my hand along the books when I came to one that felt funny. It was one of the books we had to read in school so I just kind of picked it up . . . well, I **tried** to pick it up, but when I pulled on it, the whole damn section of shelving came down!"

"Came down?" What did he mean? The shelving obviously hadn't fallen away from the wall.

"It went down into the floor! There were stairs leading down somewhere behind it!"

"Stairs behind it?" I lifted my head up from the edge of the hot tub.

"Yeah . . . when I heard you calling for me I panicked and started looking for a way to close the passageway. I tripped over the area where it went from the stone floor to the carpeting of the library and knocked off all of those books. Only one book didn't fall over. I guess that one was the switch to bring it back up." He heaved a long sigh before looking away from me and up at the sky.

"So **that's** why you freaked out when I tried to touch it." That sure made a lot more sense than his previous story, "But why didn't you just tell me about it to begin with? What's the point in hiding something like that from me?" I live here; something like that shouldn't be kept secret from me. Did he think it led to some magical treasure or something? I joke about it, but I don't think I'd put something like that past him . . .

"You mean you didn't know that was there?"

"That doesn't answer my question, but no, I didn't." I haven't seriously read every book in there and I don't go around running my hand along the bindings like he was doing, so naturally I never found it, "The thing is, there are little secret doorways in several locations throughout the house that all lead down to the basement." I have one in the backyard that leads to a secret computer room. "Why they are _secret_ doorways and not _regular_ doorways I'll never know." I cupped some water in my hands and splashed it on my face. It felt really refreshing.

"Get your hair wet."

"What?" Did he just tell me to get my hair wet? After that huge revelation about secret doorways, that's all he had to say? Wouldn't someone like him normally be interested in secret passageways?

"Get your hair wet." He repeated, scooping water up and attempting to dump it right on top of my head!

"What the hell are you doing?" I knocked his hands away just in time and scooted to the other side of the hot tub, where I should have been all along, "Why are you trying to get my hair wet?" Was he being perverted again? What other reason would there be for him to want to see me with wet hair?

"Because you'd look really hot with your hair stuck to you."

Pervert! Even so, my heart was beating so fast and I feel . . . anxious. My heart started beating even harder when Jou slowly approached me. I felt like I was frozen in place, like I just couldn't move . . . like I didn't want to move. He scooped up more water and this time I just closed my eyes as I allowed him to dump the warm water right on top of my head. I felt it run down along my nose and my jaw before landing on my shoulders, chest, and the water around me. He repeated the process several more times . . . and I let him. It actually felt really nice, but my pulse refused to slow itself. Even though the water was warm, I felt a chill run down my spine.

With my eyes still closed, I could sense him moving closer until I felt hands gently grasp each side of my head and pull me toward him. I could feel his breath on my lips and hear my own heartbeat thumping in my ears. Why was I so nervous? He's kissed me before! Maybe I'm not nervous . . . but then what is this feeling?

He finally (finally?) closed the gap, pressing our lips together. He licked my bottom lip and a strange noise escaped me. I wasn't expecting him to do something like that so suddenly. I opened one eye to look at him. For some reason, I just wanted to see his face as he kissed me. Did he look nervous?

His eye opened to gaze into mine when I had yet to grant his tongue entry. Grant his tongue entry? Oh yeah, Seto, that doesn't sound dirty at all.

Without any warning he suddenly stopped kissing me and sat down beside me looking relatively irritated. What the hell?

_What if I didn't do what he wanted and so he decides not to move in?_

"Why did you stop?" I asked, unable to mask the confusion in my own voice. He wasn't already bored with kissing me, was he? Was I no good at it? I should've just opened my damn mouth.

"What? But I thought- Weren't you- . . . what?"

So it's not because I'm a horrible kisser? He thought that I wanted him to stop? I couldn't help but smile. I think that he's cutest when he's confused. "I asked . . ." Placing both of my hands on his right leg (I was currently seated on his right), I leaned toward him, ". . . why did you stop?" My heart was racing once more. I'm not used to making moves on people because I **want** to do it. It's . . . thrilling? Is that what you'd call it? Is that what this feeling really is?

He smirked, "Gee, I don't know. Maybe I'd rather kiss you with you sitting on my lap."

On his lap? I could have sworn that my heart suddenly skipped a beat. I almost checked my arms to make sure that I wasn't shaking. On his lap? He wanted to kiss . . . with me on his lap? That sounded . . . really nice . . .

"Oh?" I tilted my head to the side, moving carefully from my seat to stand in front of him. I slowly climbed onto his lap while facing him, resting my legs on either side of his, with my knees against the wall of the hot tub, "Did you mean like this?" I draped my arms over his shoulders and crossed them loosely behind his neck.

What am I doing? Why am I acting this way? After years of being forced to do exactly what I am doing now, why does it make me so excited? I'm not being forced this time. I want this.

**I want this**.

Katsuya wouldn't do anything that I didn't want him to do, right? I have to believe that. Prove me right, Jounouchi Katsuya.

The blond's mouth opened, but he didn't utter a word. He looked shocked, and with good reason. This isn't like me.

"What's the matter, Katsuya?" I tried to play it cool, "Have I actually discovered a way to shut you up?" If I just joke around, the tense air will go away. I don't want things to get too serious. He wants to kiss in this position, right? That's all it is. There isn't anything more to it than that.

"Heh." Was all that I got in response. His arms snaked around my waist as his brown eyes stared up at my face. Was he trying to get a reaction out of me? If he was expecting me to-

"What are you doing?" I asked, losing that cool that I had tried to fake. He had snuck one hand down and was rubbing circles on my ass! That's not what he said he wanted to do!

His hand continued moving while he held me tightly with his other arm, "What? You're sitting on my lap in a sexy position wearing only shorts and you expect me to just sit here?"

He had a point. My actions and my intentions didn't exactly line up. I guess I was hoping that this would be enough to make him happy, but he wants more than I'm willing to give.

"_I can't, I'm sorry."_

"_You say that every time. You get me so worked up and then shoot me down. That's not very nice, Seto-koi." _

I did the same to Saki every time. Things would begin innocently enough, but he wanted to go all the way. After he tried the first time, he continued to try. Every kiss turned into an attempt to fuck me until he eventually just took what he wanted and disappeared . . . why had he disappeared during those years?

I hugged Katsuya and placed my chin on his left shoulder, "I love you, Katsuya." Jou wouldn't do something like that to me. I've seen the way that he interacts with his friends and other people. He's kind and compassionate. He doesn't want to hurt those that he cares about and I don't think he would lie about loving someone. Katsuya may be a bit of an airhead sometimes, but he's generally an honest person. He isn't the type to trick someone, at least not in a cruel manner. I think that I know Katsuya a bit better than I knew Saki.

"I love you too, Seto." He returned my embrace, the offending hand moving away from my rear and up to my back. Katsuya is very kind.

I closed my eyes, breathing in his faint scent. Maybe I'd fall asleep just sitting here like this. It probably wasn't a good idea, since we were both sitting in a hot tub, but I just felt so relaxed and at ease. My pulse had slowed down to normality and I couldn't have felt more secure . . .

. . . until I felt warm, soft lips against my neck. I waited for a moment but the kisses game again and again, eventually trailing down my neck and across my shoulder. I leaned back, shivering involuntarily, "Don't do that." Did I really want him to stop? The voice coming out of my mouth wasn't even enough to convince **me**. It's just Katsuya; he won't do anything. "I'm in control of this situation." I informed him, just in case he had any weird ideas going through that head of his. I'm in control . . .

_Bound, gagged, blindfolded . . . can't see, can't speak . . . my screams are only muffled whimpers and all I can do . . . is feel. _

_Helpless . . ._

"You don't have to be." Katsuya wrapped one hand around the back of my neck, pulling me back toward him until our lips met. He nipped at my bottom lip and this time . . . I let him in. I **let** him. I'm in control.

I have to be in control. I won't let him win.

I entangled my hands in his hair, his hands entangled in mine, and I fought to show him who was in charge of the situation. I opened my eyes to remind myself that I could see and then closed them again. I can move my hands, see with my own eyes, and I wasn't held down by anything.

"Seto . . ." Katsuya huffed as we finally separated, each of us panting like animals. I should have felt ridiculous, should have felt disgusting . . . but I didn't. "Seto, I want you so badly . . ."

Want me? What does he mean by that? He can only have me if I let him; I control this relationship.

Something hard was pressed against my ass and it was only then that I realized I was in a similar predicament. It's only natural for a guy my age to be turned on by that kind of intense kissing, right?

"Say it, Seto. Tell me that you want me." The words came as whispers across my ear as teeth nipped gently at my earlobe. A kiss to my jaw line followed and I thought I'd melt from the inside out.

"I . . . I . . ."

"_Tell me that you want me."_

I want it . . .

"_Tell me . . ."_

I want it . . .

"_. . . that you want me."_

. . . I don't want it.

"Ummmm . . . Seto? Jou?"

Oh thank whatever the fuck is governing this world. Finally Mokuba had **good** timing!

"Dammit! Go away!" Jou snapped. That's not like him at all. Why was he yelling at my brother?

I glanced at Mokuba over my shoulder, covering Jou's mouth with my hand, "It's okay, Mokuba. What did you need?" Please say that you need me to go somewhere immediately. What a pathetic person I am.

"Someone from Kaiba Corp. just called my cell phone because they said they couldn't reach you." That's because a certain someone tossed it onto my bed earlier . . . "The dude sounds like he's totally freaking out."

I climbed out of the water quickly, grabbing a towel. Good! An emergency situation! Well, that's what Mokuba made it out to be, but I'm sure the problem isn't much of a problem at all. Those morons I hire make such a fuss over every little thing. "Sorry, Katsuya. I can't let my employees commit suicide." I threw him a wink. I have to act cool and collected, just like I always used to. I don't want Katsuya to leave because I freak out too often. If I had told him I didn't want to go further, what would he have done? Thank you, stupid employees.

Jou looked out of sorts, "But, Seto, I-"

"Later, okay?" I couldn't help but smile pitifully at myself before disappearing inside. Later, it was always _later_. I was horrible at keeping promises and notorious for giving out false hopes. I have to tell him that I'm just not ready to be that intimate, at least not until I've gotten my annoying episodes under control. How am I supposed to enjoy his company if my mind is stuck on being raped?

I can't tell him something like that, though. My luck, he would get depressed about it. I mean, I can't tell him that kissing him and being touched by him makes me think of being tied up and groped. I want to be close with him, I do . . . but then I don't. All I know . . .

. . . is that I don't want him to leave me.

I quickly ran upstairs and changed into my white suit complete with a dark blue dress shirt underneath. I towel-dried my hair as best as I could, though it was still a little damp. My employees wouldn't dare to comment on it.

I grabbed my cell phone from my bed and called them back. I took a deep breath in and then released it, setting my mind to 'boss mode'.

"Mr. Kaiba!"

"What do you want?"

"Someone called up here a bit ago and ordered us to have you come to the office!" He sounded frantic.

"What?" Someone ordered them to get me to Kaiba Corp? What the hell?

"We tried to trace the call, but our security team hasn't been able to come up with any suspects! He said that if we didn't have you meet him here in the next twenty minutes, he'd have us all killed! We wanted to call the police, but what if he has bombs in the building?" He was talking so fast that I had a hard time keeping up.

This is sounding like some generic movie plot. "What did the guy sound like?" I couldn't help but let my disinterest come out in my tone of voice.

"He was using a voice scrambler, so we aren't sure. In fact, we're just assuming it's a male. I don't know of too many women that would make demands like that."

"A voice scrambler?" Seriously? "This sounds fucking stupid. You called me on my cell phone just to tell me about some kid that's playing around?"

"What's that?" He was talking to someone in the room with him! How dare he ignore what I'm asking? "The secretary says that he referred to you as 'Seto-koi'. Do you know of anyone that calls you that?"

Every muscle in my body tensed up and for a moment, I couldn't even breathe. The only person that calls me that . . . no way.

"Mr. Kaiba?"

"I don't know of anyone that would call me that." Lie, cover it up, don't let on that you're nervous. "If it will make you all settle down, I'll be there shortly. If that person calls back, tell them I'm on my way." I hung up without waiting for a response and then called my driver to come pick me up.

I went back out to where I left Katsuya and Mokuba, "Katsuya? Mokuba? I have to run to the office for a bit. Might be an hour or two. The dumbasses at the office can't do their jobs, as usual. I'll be back in a while, okay?" I can't tell them what's really going on. If either one of them come with me, they'll just become a hindrance. I can't take any chances on either of them getting hurt . . . which reminds me that I need to talk Katsuya out of meeting with Saki.

The two of the just gave me blank stares, so I went back through the house and out the front door to where my limousine was waiting.

* * *

By the time I walked through the front doors of Kaiba Corporation, my entire security staff was pacing back and forth in the lobby, frantic as ever. Did they forget that they have a job to do? "Get back to your stations." I ordered.

"But sir-"

"Everything is fine; do you doubt me?" I narrowed my eyes in the gusty man's direction, silencing him as he and the others hesitantly dispersed without so much as a murmur.

"I'm sure that person is watching from somewhere and knows that I am here." I told the secretary and the employee that had called me. "When he comes in, have him come up to my office." What if they saw his face? What kind of mess would that create? I can see it now . . . every media station in the country would be trying to dig up the connection between Saki and I . . . looking for that kind of information would lead to the discovery of other things and . . . "Send a message to security. Tell them to shut off the cameras in my office." It was risky, but hopefully worth it. I just hope I'm not making a stupid mistake. I also hope that Saki has his face covered until he reaches my office . . . if it turns out that this person really **is** Saki.

"Are you sure, sir?"

"Positive." I stepped into the elevator, riding it up to my office on the top floor. As I entered I glanced up at the security cameras, making sure the lights were red and not green, signaling that they were indeed shut off.

The chair creaked a little as I leaned back in it, my elbows propped on either armrest as I clasped my hands together over my stomach. I haven't felt so alone in a long time. He wouldn't do anything right? He knows that all of my staff will be just one scream away . . . then again, he knows that I wouldn't dare call out for them and let them see me in a shameful predicament. To be honest, I don't know which is worse: Saki raping me again, or my employees finding out about it.

I pulled open my desk drawer and glanced at the handgun inside. I was always prepared, but could I really shoot him if I had to?

I inhaled deeply and then exhaled just in time for the double doors of my office to inch open.

**

* * *

**

Finally! Okay, so I don't know how I feel about this chapter. I do know that I feel sorry for the people that only read the original story because they won't get to see the exchange between Seto and Saki . . . hell, maybe I won't even mention it in the original! Mwahahaha!

Don't forget to leave me some love! Thanks to everyone that added me on Facebook!


	30. Day Eight: In This Together

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

**

* * *

**

Here we go! This chapter has a big section that is not included in Jou's side of the story. I think that it is very important to the story, so those that don't read this version will be missing some great information! Oh well . . . enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Have I been forgetting this damn thing again? I don't own Yugioh, it belongs to the magnificent Kazuki Takahashi . . . and I, sadly, make no money from this.

* * *

_**Recap:**_

_I pulled open my desk drawer and glanced at the handgun inside. I was always prepared, but could I really shoot him if I had to?_

_I inhaled deeply and then exhaled just in time for the double doors of my office to inch open._

**

* * *

**

He came into my office with a baseball cap on and a jacket with a collar that zipped up to hide his face. All that I could see were his eyes. I did my best to keep my breathing as even and normal as possible. Don't let him see that I'm nervous. He's in a corporate office building; we may be in this room alone, but I am not alone like I was before.

I'm not alone.

"Are the cameras off?" He sounded so carefree! As if I would tell him I had them turned off.

"No." Keep it short and simple.

"Bullshit." He laughed at me, removing the hat and unzipping his jacket. Did he always look so creepy? "You wouldn't risk someone seeing my face. I know you better than you think I do, Seto . . . inside and out." He smirked.

I think I might have visibly shuddered, but I won't make that mistake again, "You're acting like a child; what do you want?" I wrapped my fingers around the handle of my desk drawer.

"Seto, are you still mad about the other day? That's got to be it. Surely you aren't still mad about something that happened two years ago." He faked a hurt look. Was he serious? He's fucking psychotic.

"What do you want?" I bit off each word, trying to make my point. I'm not going to let him play around with me! If he has something to say then he needs to just fucking spit it out already! I don't have the time or the patience for this insanity!

"I just have a simple request." He approached my desk, placing both of his hands flat on its surface as he leaned in just a little.

My grip tightened on the handle, "Why the hell should I listen to a request from **you**?" I shot him a glare. I'm not afraid of him. He can't do anything here. He won't do anything.

"Oh I don't know . . ." He gazed out the window behind me before his eyes were suddenly focused on my own. "Maybe because you wouldn't want me to hurt that blond piece of trash you dragged home."

Katsuya! "He isn't trash." I couldn't let him get to me! This is exactly what he wants! Katsuya is in **my** house! As long as he doesn't meet with Saki tomorrow . . . wait. "How did you know he's staying in my house?"

He smirked, "You just told me." Fuck. "I figured that's probably where you went, since you weren't in Jou's apartment. It's just some drunk guy there now."

"You went to Katsuya's apartment? He'd have hurt you if he was the one that answered the door." I saw the look in Katsuya's eyes when Saki showed up at the pool earlier. I've never seen so much hatred in them. I didn't think that Katsuya was capable of looking so angry.

"I sure did. The man said that all he remembered was that the blond went somewhere with you. I was able to get some good information out of him though." Information? What kind of information? Jou's dad didn't know anything of any importance, right? "He told me where I could find Katsuya's best friend, Mutou Yuugi. I caught him this morning just as he was about to leave his shop and asked where I could find you."

"That's a lie. Yuugi may be a bit slow sometimes, but he'd never tell a stranger my whereabouts." Why was Saki going through so much trouble to create such an elaborate lie? Though it would explain how he knew Katsuya and I were at that pool . . .

"I just told him I was a business partner and that it was important that I find you. Everyone knows who Mutou Yuugi is . . . well, anyone that knows anything about **you**, so it wasn't entirely suspicious that I asked him. He told me you'd both be at that pool. That saved me the trouble of having to find a way into your house." He kept leaning closer.

Find a way into my house? A lump began to form in my throat. He couldn't actually do that! There's absolutely no way! My security is perfect! Wait . . . hadn't someone gotten near the house just a few days ago? This was getting out of control. "What do you want from me?" I could hear the faint trembling in my own voice. It's disgusting.

"I just want you to guarantee that you won't have any of your goons follow Katsuya when he comes to see me tomorrow." He was dangerously close now, maybe a foot away from my face with that same chilling smirk on his lips.

"He won't be meeting you tomorrow."

"Oh yes he will."

"He won't." I kept my eyes locked onto his and they began to look more and more eerie by the second.

"I know where Mokuba attends school and I'm not beyond kidnapping." The smirk faded, "He **will** be meeting with me tomorrow. Don't worry, I won't hurt him as long as you don't have anyone following." He reached out a hand, grabbing my chin. He wasn't gentle like Katsuya, not at all.

I swatted at it, but he caught my wrist with his other hand. **My** other hand remained on the handle to my desk drawer. Just shoot him . . . just shoot him and kill him . . .

. . . I can't shoot him. I can't kill Saki.

"What's the matter, Seto-koi? You look so frightened." He leaned in and our lips brushed . . . and I just couldn't move, "Do you want me to hold you like I used to?" He crushed his lips to mine, the hand from my chin was now securely pressing against the back of my head. Thankfully it didn't last long, "You're mine. You'll always be mine. I was able to leave you alone for two whole years. I decided to leave you alone, let you live your life . . . but when I saw you that day at the mall with that filthy blond . . . I got so pissed off." He was on the desk now, his lips all over my neck and my cheeks, his teeth nipping at my ears . . . and I just sat there. "I just can't leave you alone. I want you all to myself. I love you, Seto."

I shoved him with every ounce of strength I had, effectively knocking him off of the desk and onto the floor, "No you fucking don't! You never loved me, you sick son of a bitch!"

He popped back onto his feet quickly, pulling a gun from inside of his jacket, "All of that yelling . . . won't your subordinates hear you?"

No way . . . he wouldn't shoot me.

He came closer until the barrel of the gun was pressed against the soft part of my neck. I wanted to get out my own weapon, which is what I should have done to begin with . . . but what if he pulled the trigger? I'd die. Saki could kill me.

"Not so tough anymore, are you?"

I didn't have many options, did I? "I won't . . . I won't send anyone to follow him or you tomorrow." I closed my eyes. Just go away. Make him go away.

"Good boy. See? Was that really so difficult? Just remember that if you break your promise, it's bye-bye Kat-chan."

My eyes opened of their own will, "Don't call him that!" What was I thinking? Barking orders at a guy with a handgun pressed to my throat? All over a stupid nickname at that! But . . . it just really bothered me.

"What? Is that your little pet name for him or something? That fucking pisses me off." His mouth found its way back to my neck and this time it was followed with pain. "There we go." He leaned away, taking the gun with it, and admired his work, "A nice, red, suckermark. I wish I had a Sharpie. I'd write 'Love, Saki'." What would I tell Katsuya? Katsuya would understand . . . but why didn't I do anything? When Saki's around it's like I can't even control my own body.

He concealed his weapon, zipped up his jacket, and put his hat back on.

"You're a monster!" I couldn't help but yell that to him. I just had to get it out of my system. What happened to the Saki that I had fallen in love with? He couldn't have just disappeared! "Using my loved-ones just to get to me!"

He let out a muffled laugh, "It's not my fault that you keep people so close to you. If you can't protect the people close to you, then you should just send them away . . . before they get hurt."

With that, he was gone . . . and I was left standing in the same position I had been standing in ever since I had shoved him. "What the fuck just happened?" I asked myself. Katsuya could get hurt because of me? Mokuba was always kidnapped to get to me, and now someone is threatening to use Katsuya to get to me . . . what is he planning? He doesn't want me to have anyone follow them, but how do I know he'll keep his word? I can't trust him . . . but what choice do I have? I can't risk Mokuba's safety. "What can I do?"

* * *

Every employee I passed on my way out to my limousine was asking who the stranger was. They all kept asking if I was okay and if he was holding something over my head. I just waved them off with my hand and quickly got into the waiting vehicle. I put the separator up between my driver and I . . .

I glanced at my watch. That visit hadn't taken very long at all. I should probably call Jou and Mokuba to let them know I'm on my way . . . and so that I can hear their voices and know that they're alright.

I flipped open my phone and pressed Mokuba's speed-dial number. Hopefully he isn't listening to some loud music or something. Mokuba was bad about not answering his phone. It rang twice before he answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Mokuba." I probably should have waited until I had completely calmed down. I don't think Mokuba would be able to pick up on my unease through the phone, though.

"Seto? Did you get everything taken care of?"

"Yeah." Something like that . . .

"That's good."

"It was just my employees being stupid, like I thought."

"Are you okay big brother?" Shit! "You sound a little shaken up. Did something happen?"

"I'm fine. I probably just sound shaken up because I'm irritated at how incompetent they are." I let out a slight laugh . . . a laugh? Ugh, way to be suspicious, Seto!

"Right now . . . a lot of static . . . see you . . . get home, okay? I love . . . Seto."

"Love you too . . ." I hung up. What's with the sudden static? There were a few dead-zones in the house, but Mokuba was usually in his room . . . if Katsuya dragged my little brother down into that creepy passageway to the basement, I'm going to kill him.

No, that's a lie. Right now I don't think I could possibly be mad at Katsuya. All I want is to see him . . . I should have asked Mokuba to put him on the phone. Katsuya needs a damn cell phone. I need to buy him a cell phone and a laptop and . . .

"_If you can't protect the people close to you, then you should just send them away . . . before they get hurt."_

"Katsuya . . ." I leaned forward in my seat, my elbows on my knees, and just cried into my own hands like a pathetic, helpless, weakling. I can't do anything! I'm supposed to be higher in society than Saki! I'm supposed to have more power than him! Why am I so much weaker than my predecessor, Gozaburo?

No. I'm not weaker! I've worked too hard to-

I'm weaker.

**

* * *

**

I came home to an eerily-quiet house. I figured that Mokuba and Katsuya would be somewhere nearby, waiting for me. "I'm home." I muttered, mostly to myself. I used to come home late from work every night. Mokuba would be asleep by then and all the help would have already gone home to their families. I used to like it that way, but now . . . it seems kind of lonely.

"Mokuba? Katsuya?" I called out. I walked toward the main sitting area downstairs to find that the television wasn't on and no one was there. Could they still be outside? With that static on Mokuba's end . . . the basement?

As if he knew I was looking for him, my phone began to ring. I leaned against the wall, placing my phone up to my ear. I needed to sound collected, like I wasn't worried at all. Mokuba was the type that would pick on me until the end of the world if he knew I got worried so easily.

"Hello?"

"Seto, it's Jou!"

I felt my heart practically stop. Did something happen to my brother? It's great to hear his voice, but . . . "Jou? Why are you using Mokuba's phone?"

"We went through that . . . and it . . . behind us!"

Damn it all to hell! This isn't the time! "You went through what?"

"Door in library. Trapped."

"Trapped?" They **did** go in the fucking basement! But trapped? How could they possibly be trapped?

"Yes."

"Which book is it that makes the door open?" That sentence was probably too long to go through.

"Hamlet."

Alright! Maybe the static had gone away. "I'll be there soon. Don't do anything stupid."

"What?" Okay, maybe not.

That's alright, I know how to get my point across in a way that mutt will understand. "Stay." I smirked as I hung up the phone.

So the switch to open the door is Hamlet? I don't see how on Earth the two of them got trapped. Maybe lost? No, even that seems impossible. The layout of the basement is pretty simple. I don't think there is anything in the basement at all, but leave it to Katsuya to be curious and go down there anyhow.

As I entered the library I was hit with another shock: all of the bookshelves were in their proper places. Shouldn't one of them be down in the floor? There's no way that it would go up all by itself, right? Who would have closed it? Who would have known **how** to close it? I guess Katsuya wasn't kidding when he said that they were trapped . . . but still, wouldn't they be able to get out through another basement door? If Mokuba is with him, he ought to be able to figure out how to get out of there.

I went to the general area where I had found Katsuya on the floor earlier and searched the bindings of the books until I came across 'Hamlet'. Was there some kind of hidden meaning behind which books were used as the switches? Maybe I'd look into it if I ever got bored.

I pulled on the book . . . and nothing happened. I tried again, but got the same result. I kicked the bottom of the bookcase, "Katsuya! Can you hear me, Katsuya?" Still nothing. Okay, so maybe they weren't directly on the other side of this door.

Think, Seto, think! Calm down and think for a second! If I went down into some unknown location and I didn't know the layout at all, how would I try to get out? The same way that I came in, of course. That would be how Katsuya figured out that they were trapped, right? If I had gone back the way that I came in, but found that it was blocked, what would I do? I would go back in and find another way out . . . wouldn't anyone? What if I couldn't find another way out?

. . . I'd be trapped. A dead end? In the basement?

I hurried out of the library and toward my office at the front of the house. I grabbed the sconce light nearest to the doorway and turned it, pulling out when I heard the telltale click. The wall dropped down into the floor, revealing a stairway. I flipped the light switch on the wall to my right and ventured downward.

As I made my way through the basement, flipping on lights as I went, I tried to call Mokuba back to let him know that I couldn't get through the bookcase so I would be a bit longer . . . but my call went straight to his voicemail. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the reception is so bad down here, considering the materials that the walls are made out of.

I hate the basement. Once when I was . . . 13? 14? I can't remember anymore, but once when I was younger I had tried to hide down here. Gozaburo was having guests over; there were more than five of them. I saw them come in the door, talking about business and whatnot . . . but I wasn't oblivious to their eyes drifting in my direction. I was a bargaining tool. Gozaburo used me to win over stubborn clients. It had already happened to me before that particular occasion, but for some reason I went down into the basement to hide from them that night . . . I was so stupid. Did I think that Gozaburo wouldn't find me?

I couldn't close the basement door from the inside, so it was obvious where I had run off to. I just made things easier for them. They just all followed me into the basement, found me, cornered me, and did what I was afraid they would do.

"This is so stupid." I leaned against the wall. All I ever think about is what happened to me during those four years! Four years! What are four years in comparison to the eighteen that I have lived?

They're a lot. When I try to think of my life, those four years are all that comes to mind. There might be a flicker of my old parents, of my old so-called relatives . . . a memory here and there of the orphanage and of Mokuba's complete loyalty. Is this what I've become? Even now, even with Gozaburo dead . . . he still controls me.

This isn't what I need to be focusing on right now! Find Jou and Mokuba!

* * *

I ventured around the basement, calling out to them and receiving no response. I tried calling Mokuba several more times, but the calls still weren't going through. I started to feel hopeless . . . that is, until I found a stairway that led up to the ceiling, which means that there is probably a door in the ceiling. I wasn't aware that my basement had levels . . . yet another thing to investigate when I get bored.

I opened the door and then felt around the frame for a light switch only to find that there wasn't one. What the hell? There wasn't a light switch anywhere in my current location. Why would there be a section of basement with no lights in it? That wouldn't make any sense at all!

What if there are dead bodies in here or something?

No, no, that's something Jou or Mokuba would think. Damn Mokuba and his survival horror video games. I don't play games as much as I used to . . .

I heaved myself up into the new space, even though there wasn't any light. I walked in one direction, trying to find a wall to walk along, when I realized that this new space was actually pretty big. A room, perhaps? I'm pretty sure I've never been in this section before and I was never aware of the door in the library, so there is a pretty good chance that this is the section of the basement where I will find Jou and Mokuba.

"Too bad I didn't bring a flashlight." The place was completely black! There wasn't even a speck of light in any direction to guide me towards them. I just walked along the wall that I had finally found until I hit an opening. If I get lost down here, I'll kill Katsuya . . . if I ever found him, that is.

As I wandered down what seemed like a hallway, I could eventually hear voices in the distance. At first it made my heart race. Oh come on! If you were wandering around in a strange location in absolute darkness, even the smallest of sounds would freak you out too! I'm human!

Anyways, I heard voices in the distance.

"Maybe the signal is just really bad wherever he is . . ." That was definitely Mokuba's voice.

"Shouldn't he be here in the house?" And that would be Katsuya.

Were they talking about me? I almost tripped when my foot caught on a step that I obviously couldn't see because those two hadn't turned on a damn light. There **had** to be lights in here. There's no way that the builder would have created this section without putting in some form of lighting.

.I couldn't help but smile a little when I heard a "Shh!" from Mokuba. I heard something that sounded like metal hitting the walls or the floor and then saw a faint light coming from that direction.

So he could hear me coming? You know . . . I'm not much for being mean to my little brother, but Katsuya deserves a little scare for making me come down here to rescue the two of them . . .

I continued walking in the direction of their voices and I nearly tripped when my foot caught on stairs that I couldn't see. The two of them were silent now. My guess is that they're at the top of these stairs. I ran up toward what I could now see was a flashlight. I stopped on what I could now tell was a landing and looked upward toward another source of light. Yeah, the two of them were definitely huddled at the top of the stairs. Could they not hear me calling for them when I was in the library? If they're that close to the wall, they **had** to have heard me!

I could hear movement and then suddenly I felt something whiz past my head and heard it clang hard against the wall behind me. Someone threw a fucking flashlight at me? If that had hit me, I swear . . . that had to be Katsuya.

"Fuck!"

Oh yeah, that was Katsuya. That was Katsuya saying fuck in front of my brother, just like I specifically told him not to.

I picked up the flashlight at my feet, hoping to have better aim than that damn mutt.

"W-what? You t-trying to be a tought guy?"

I launched my missile, hoping Mokuba was smart enough to be hiding behind Katsuya. Katsuya always seemed to love playing the role of 'hero' when he was with his friends, so this time probably wasn't any different.

I was rewarded with a loud thud followed by several more as a body tumbled down the stairs and then landed right at my feet. I picked up the flashlight that he had dared to throw at me and smacked it against my other hand as a threat, "What did I tell you about saying that word in front of Mokuba?"

"Don't throw another one!" He begged. I love it when people beg at my feet.

"Big brother!" I could hear his footsteps as he ran down the stairs and practically threw himself at me. "How did you get down here?"

What the hell? Mokuba knows there are other doors to the basement. He shouldn't be the one so surprised. I pulled the blond to his feet. "I told Jou before that all of the doors just lead to the basement." And yet he ignored that and went down here anyhow. "As far as I know, there aren't any completely dead-ends."

"We checked all of the walls down here!" Jou insisted.

Ah, they checked the **walls**. "In the room at the end of this hallway there is a door in the floor that leads to another staircase which leads to the rest of the basement." I went past them and up the stairs they had been sitting on. There has to be a damn light switch. "Why didn't you all turn on the lights? I didn't bring a flashlight because I wasn't expecting you to be sitting here in the dark."

"But Seto, there aren't any light switches!"

I ran my hands along the walls and doorframe, eventually finding the switch right above my head. What a strange place for it . . .

Florescent lights illuminated the area. It wasn't the brightest lighting, but it was a far cry from pitch black. "There is a switch on the door frame at the top." I informed the two of them. The looks on their faces were absolutely priceless.

"Well, Mr. Genius," Mokuba is pushing it, "Is there a way out of that door?"

Other than the light switch, there isn't anything around the door that would open it. "From the looks of things, this is an entrance only. We'll just go out the way that I came in." That is strange, though. Why would the door have shut behind them? Why would there be a section of the basement that is an entrance only? Why am I questioning things that really don't matter?

"If this is an entrance only, why is the light switch at the very beginning? How would you turn it off?" Katsuya folded his arms, feeling smart apparently.

"Maybe there's another switch in that room at the end. It would have been difficult to find it since some stupid blond never turned the lights on down here." I shot a glare at that certain someone, "Come on."

**

* * *

**

Well it turns out that the switch in that room was located on the frame of the door inside the room, which I had neglected to check . . . but Jou and Mokuba don't need to know little details like that. The important thing is that we all made it out of there without any trouble and hopefully the two of them have learned their lesson about wandering off into unknown locations . . . even **if** said unknown locations are in our house . . .

"Well that sucked!" Mokuba blurted out, scrunching up his face, "I was hoping we'd find some dead bodies or something."

"Mokuba!" I **knew** he would think something like that. "Why the hell would you find dead bodies?" Because of those violent video games, of course. His only response was to shrug, "Mokuba, why don't you call your school and see what your homework assignments were. Hopefully someone will still be there at this hour. If not, I expect you to email all of your teachers directly. You shouldn't have skipped school. That was very irresponsible of you."

He trudged slowly toward the stairs without muttering a single word.

I was getting a bit too lax in the way that I handle Mokuba. The last thing I want is for him to do poorly in school or to become a troublemaker. Mokuba has to remember that he is a Kaiba; he isn't some out-of-control teenager. I want Mokuba to be happy, but I also want him to be successful.

Now that he is out of the area . . .

"Katsuya, you and I need to have a talk." I have to warn him about Saki. That stunt he pulled today . . . I don't trust him at all, but I really don't have too many choices. Sure, I could call the police and they'd probably take my word for it and arrest him, but I just can't risk all of that media attention.

"Yeah, okay." He looked uneasy.

Am I putting Katsuya's life in jeopardy to save my own ass?

Though I'm also saving Mokuba. I can only imagine what his friends would all think if they knew our real family history. Saki said he wouldn't hurt Katsuya as long as I did as he asked.

"Step into my office." I motioned a hand toward the office beside me and he followed without questioning it. He must know that I have something important to say.

He sat in my chair so I just sat on top of the desk right in front of them, "When you go to see Saki tomorrow, please don't do anything to piss him off, okay? I did some thinking about it and . . ." I'm lying again. "I don't think he'll kill you. He probably just wants to scare you into doing something stupid . . ."

"_If you can't protect the people close to you, then you should just send them away . . . before they get hurt."_

". . . like leaving me." Don't leave me. I don't want him to leave me.

He could get hurt for being close to me.

Don't leave me.

"I would never do that, Seto." The look in his eyes was that of confusion, "Seto, what happened?" He held my hands in his own.

Don't lie. "Apparently Saki called my corporate office and told them to get me there or he'd have them all killed." Don't be mad at me for not telling you . . . "I highly doubt that Saki has the manpower to do something like that, but . . . for some reason I went to meet him anyway." Why did I go? What was I expecting? What did I want?

"What?" He's angry. "You were so worried about **me** going to meet him tomorrow and then **you** go and meet him? Are you out of your fucking mind?" Yeah, I guess I **am** out of my mind, aren't I? "What if he killed you right there."

"He won't kill me." He could kill me . . .

"How can you say that so easily?"

"Because . . ."

"_You're mine. You'll always be mine."_

I pulled my hands away and used my arms to cover my face. What should I do?

"_I just can't leave you alone."_

This will never end, will it?

"_I want you all to myself."_

He wants Jounouchi out of the picture.

"Because what?"

Those brown eyes looking up at me, that innocent face . . . he has no idea. "Don't move in with me, Katsuya." I let my hands fall back to the desk. I can't put him in danger just because I want him near me. This is why I gave up on having friends . . . because they can't be around forever. I hate having people close to me because I hate having to say goodbye.

"What?"

"Don't worry; I'll buy you a house so that you don't have to live with your father." I'll provide for him. I won't just abandon him like that. It will be okay.

"Seto, what are you talking about? Before you were so excited for me to move in and now you don't want me near you?" That's not it at all. "What the hell is going on?" He was up from the chair now and grabbing my shoulders . . . and then his hand brushed the mark on my neck.

I had completely forgotten about it. I slapped Katsuya's hand away.

"That wasn't there when we were in the hot tub." Jou pointed out. I know it wasn't there. Saki put that there at Kaiba Corp., but you know that, don't you Katsuya? You're smarter than you let on. I don't have to say it, do I? You know . . . you already know.

All I could do was lean into his chest and close my eyes, "Katsuya . . . help me." What can I do? How can I make Saki disappear? I don't want you to leave, but I don't want you to get hurt because of me . . . but would you leaving even be enough? Is Mokuba in danger too? Help me, Katsuya.

"Seto, I can't help you if you don't let me. Please tell me what happened." His hands rubbed lovingly at my back.

I moved my face away just a bit, "He told me that he wouldn't hurt you as long as I kept my subordinates away when you meet up with tomorrow, and then . . ." I shook my head, allowing for something akin to a laugh to escape me. I can't tell him what Saki did after that. He'd ask why I didn't do anything to stop him. "I don't remember." I buried my face in his chest again, wrapping my arms around him this time. "I don't want to remember." You know, don't you? So please don't ask . . .

A knocking sound came from the doorway and of course it was none other than Mokuba.

"Hey you guys, do you wanna-" His mouth snapped shut.

Mokuba . . . I'm so glad that he's nothing like me.

"What's up, Mokuba?" Jou asked.

"Um, well . . . I was just wondering if you guys wanted to go shopping like we were talking about earlier, but if you guys are busy . . ."

"I think that's an awesome idea!" What? "Why don't you call for the driver and have him pick us up at the door?"

"Alright!" With that, Mokuba was gone again.

"Seto, do you really not want me to move in with you?" He pulled me away, much to my disappointment, and brushed my hair out of my eyes.

"I want you to live here." Live here with me forever, Katsuya. "I don't want you to get thrown into my mess." Don't become another Satoshi. "Unfortunately, it seems that I can only have one of those things. If you stay here with me-"

"Then the two of us can face that mess together and lean on each other if we have to." Lean on each other?" "You don't have to go it alone, ya got that?" He poked me right between the eyes, "Mokuba is going to get bitchy if we don't hurry up. Let's just go shopping and forget about that fuckhead for now . . . what do you say?"

I couldn't help but smile, even with the given circumstances. Katsuya just had . . . such a strange way with words. "You're right." When he turned to leave, I grabbed his arm. "Katsuya?"

"Yeah?"

"I keep thinking that there's no way I could kill Saki . . . but . . . Katsuya, if he even **tries** to hurt you tomorrow . . . I'll kill him." I think if I got mad enough, I could do it. I killed Gozaburo when I was mad enough, even when I had always thought that I could never do it. That murder wasn't even a spur-of-the moment event. In the end, I won't know if I can really kill him until that moment arrives when he's in front of me and my finger is holding the trigger.

"You won't kill anyone ever again, remember?"

"I don't think I'd be able to help it. I'm not going to let anyone hurt the people that I love." I'd kill for you, Katsuya . . . you and Mokuba. I'd kill for both of you.

"Come on you guys!" Mokuba's voice crept into the room as he yelled from his place by the front door.

"We're on our way!" I called to him, sliding from my place on the desk and walking out of the office. When I realized that Katsuya was walking behind me once again, I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him until he was walking _next_to me, "I never cared much for shadows." I informed him with a smirk and the two of us went to where Mokuba was waiting . . .

. . . hand in hand.

**

* * *

**

Ah yes, yet another chapter is posted! Woohoo! Well I don't have much to say so I guess I'll just see you all again in BBE 31 (whenever that comes out . . . )!

By the way, I only proofread like half of this chapter because I'm super tired . . . sorry!


	31. Day Eight: Expectations

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

**

* * *

**Ah yes, chapter 31 of Seto's Story. I don't know what else to say here, lol. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **Yugioh was created by Kazuki Takahashi, not me . . . surprised? Oh, and I don't own any of the various bands that I mentioned, nor do I own the song 'Behind Blue Eyes'.

* * *

_**Recap:**_

"_Come on you guys!" Mokuba's voice crept into the room as he yelled from his place by the front door._

"_We're on our way!" I called to him, sliding from my place on the desk and walking out of the office. When I realized that Katsuya was walking behind me once again, I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him until he was walking next__to me, "I never cared much for shadows." I informed him with a smirk and the two of us went to where Mokuba was waiting . . ._

_. . . hand in hand._

**

* * *

**

"So where are we going first, oh fashionable one?" Katsuya teased Mokuba from across the car. Katsuya and I were seated together on one side while Mokuba was seated across from us.

"Well I was thinking about going to some of the places that sell clothes like Seto wears. You know, suits and stuff."

Mokuba and I had briefly discussed where we would go before we left the house. I suggested dress clothes and Mokuba agreed it was a good idea. If he wanted to claim the idea as his own, that's fine by me.

"Uh, I don't know if that's a very good idea." Jou protested, as I suspected he would. "I don't think I'd look right wearing some of the stuff your brother gets away with."

"The stuff I _get away with_? What's that supposed to mean?" Was that an insult? I always get compliments on my clothes.

Katsuya shot me a look, "Leather pants."

"So?"

"Do I really need to say anything else?" He grinned so I just rolled my eyes.

I faced the window, "I think you'd look good in leather pants . . ." I muttered, thinking aloud by mistake.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Hopefully he really hadn't heard me. I shouldn't be saying such embarrassing things. It's bad enough that I'm thinking things like that.

"I dunno, Jou, maybe you'd look really sharp in dress clothes." For a second I thought that Mokuba was going to tell him he'd look good in leather pants. "Those rags you're wearing now definitely fit your personality though."

"Watch it, ya brat." Jou snapped. Mokuba deserved that one. He needs to watch what he says to people . . . unless they insult him first. "Anyways, what's the name of this place?"

"I have no idea what the name is." I informed him, "I just told the driver to take us out to the mall. Since we're shopping for you, I didn't want to go anywhere too formal, but at the same time I don't want you in street clothes. I remembered that there is a place in the mall that sells some decent things. I went in there for a bit that first time that you and I went there, remember?"

It felt like so long ago when he and I went there together. I felt so out of place it wasn't even funny. This time, however, will be different. I am on a mission to dress Katsuya in better clothes. Not only will it hopefully make Saki stop calling him trash, but . . . well, I have this idea of what Katsuya might look like in dress clothes and, well . . . I'll make him wear them even if I have to light his entire _current_ wardrobe on fire.

I stared out the window. I could see clumps of teens and young adults outside of the various restaurants. I never got to do things like that when I was their age . . . then again, some of them may **be** my age or even older. Sometimes I just feel so old . . .

A tap on my shoulder startled me a bit. It was Katsuya. When I looked at him he pointed to his neck and then to me . . . why would he-

My hand flew up to cover the sucker mark as if by instinct, "Shit . . ." Mokuba must have seen it and now everybody would see it. "Whatever. I don't care what people think about it." I lied, looking out the window again. No one would dare say anything about it, right? Of course they wouldn't; I'm Kaiba Seto.

**

* * *

**

The three of us were dropped off at the main entrance. I always feel significantly overdressed at places like this. Luckily this type of crowd wasn't likely to recognize me, or if they did, they would probably just think I was some look-alike. Kaiba Seto in the Domino City mall? Never.

The place was crawling with kids and the elderly, all of which were constantly in our way. Why do groups of people feel the need to form a wall while they are walking? Also, why do they walk so slow? Some of us aren't here for a leisurely stroll. People are so irritating.

Slowly but surely we arrived at the store I had been to just days ago. Had it only been days? It feels like it's been years.

"Aren't places like this usually really expensive?" Katsuya had almost a nervous look as we entered the store.

"Expensive? Have you forgotten who you're talking to?" There is no such thing as expensive in a shopping mall, at least not in my opinion. I just need to remember that we will get what we pay for, so I shouldn't expect anything of great quality. Maybe this was a bad idea after all. I should just order his clothes online like I do for myself. Oh, but I want him to look sharp when he goes to see that bastard tomorrow. I don't have time to order something and have it tailored. This will just have to suffice for now.

"Okay moneybags, I meant expensive for the average Joe."

"You mean the average **Jou**." Mokuba snickered. Really, his jokes were getting more and more juvenile. I have to keep reminding myself that he's only thirteen.

"I wouldn't know."

"Yeah, yeah, keep bragging rich boy."

I hope he doesn't really think I'm bragging. I honestly don't really know what is considered expensive to the average person. Even my original parents were well-off financially. I wouldn't say they were rich, but we certainly didn't seem to have any money problems. Even though I wasn't that young when my father died, my memories of those days are really dim.

I pulled a dark grey suit from a rack and held it up to Katsuya. Honestly, does a grey suit look good on anyone that isn't old? I put it back in its place and then pulled out a black one, holding that one up to him instead. Black was much more appealing and looked good on just about anyone, "Black is a good color on you, Katsuya. Your hair and your eyes are bright, bold colors, so the black complements them very well."

"I didn't know you were such an expert on fashion." Katsuya laughed at me.

"Tch. Whatever." I'm only explaining to him why it would look good on him so that hopefully he'll be able to pick out his own clothes someday and look classy. "What size dress pants do you wear?" I would assume he wears a size similar to mine.

"Are dress pants sizes different from regular pants sizes?"

I couldn't help but just stare at him. Has he never bought dress clothes before? "I hope you're joking. Have you never worn a suit?" Hasn't everyone worn a suit at some point in time? All people go to events that require formal attire whether they're rich or not.

"Uh, I don't think I have." He started fidgeting, "I've never had any occasion to wear one."

Impossible! "You've never been to a wedding or a graduation ceremony or maybe even a school dance?"

"None of the above." He shrugged! Shrugged! Like it wasn't anything out of the ordinary!

"I'll bring you along with me to some of the events I have to attend for business. They're supposed to be for networking and whatnot . . ." As if I really need to network with people, "I think it's just an excuse for wealthy people to get together and flaunt their paychecks." I rolled my eyes at the memory of the most recent event. Everyone talking about their yachts and vacation homes. They never bothered bragging to me, though. No one had bragging rights with me.

"I thought you were worried about people thinking we're a couple."

Oh shit, that's true.

"Seriously, Seto?" Mokuba put his hands on his hips, ready to scold me, "You turned the biggest military arms corporation into a **gaming** company, and you're worried about what people will say about you and Jou being together? _**Really**_?"

When he says it like that, I guess he has a point. Even so . . . I always say that people would never talk about me because of who I am, and yet here I am worried about what people might say. I worry about the media putting its filthy nose into my business. I also worry about someone coming forward about what went on when Gozaburo was alive. Many of those men are behind bars, but there's no way that I could identify each one, since I couldn't always see them. I've lived with the hope that they wouldn't say anything because that would incriminate **them**. I even managed to keep people quiet about what was said in the court hearings regarding Gozaburo's death and then regarding all of the men that abused me . . . but what if someone, somewhere gave that information out when they found out I was with a guy?

What should I do?

"Mokuba, go get someone over here to measure Jou for a suit."

I shouldn't worry about it right now, that's what.

**

* * *

**

The expressions on Jou's face were just too funny. I couldn't help but smirk as I watched the blond glare at the man's hands for touching a little too close to his personal zones. Clearly Katsuya has never been measured before. It really is an awkward experience, which is why whenever I get measured I have a few of my men with me just in case things get _too_awkward.

"Why don't you measure him too?" Katsuya pointed at me once his session was complete.

"I don't think so." I waved away the employee when he turned to me. "I get measured about twice a year. Needless to say, I only ever grow in height." I've worn the same size waist since I can remember. It's almost a little embarrassing.

I took the paper from Jou's hands that had his measurements written on it. He was just a bit bigger in the waist and wore slightly shorter pants. His neck is also bigger around. So he's shorter but makes up for it in girth. Oh man, what am I talking about? "I order my clothing online," I continued, fighting my mind which had fallen into the gutter, "usually from overseas. I have a tailor that will come to my house and make any changes necessary."

"Weren't you just rolling your eyes at the thought of people flaunting their money?" Katsuya sounded annoyed.

"Shut up, mutt." I flicked his nose. "Mokuba, see these numbers here?" I pointed to the measurements needed for pants, "Find some nice pants with those numbers on the tag, preferably black or khaki." Khaki pants would look nice on him for casual wear. "Jou, you and I are going to look for a nice jacket, shirt, and tie." Just one of each? "Actually, we'll get several dress shirts and ties." I really should make the most of this opportunity. I get to decide what he'll be wearing. I guess I'm a bit . . . excited? Hm . . .

The two of us went around from rack to rack. They had some nice colors, but the materials were only average. No matter; I'll just order him some nicer things for when I take him to events . . . if I do take him to events. Every now and then I took a second to locate Mokuba, who I found zipping around the store with an armload of dress pants that was continuously growing. Something tells me he's enjoying this about as much as I am.

It didn't take long to figure out that earth tones look the best on Jou. Greens, browns, beiges . . . . those are the colors that he really ought to wear. Well, those and black. Just about everyone looks good in black . . . and maybe white.

"I've got some!" Mokuba approached us in a half-run, his arms full of partially-folded pants. Hm, he's pretty efficient.

"Damn," Jou eyed the pile, apparently not thrilled, "how many did you get?"

"I dunno. Seto said get pants so I got pants." Perhaps I should have specified how many. Oh well, you can never have too many pairs of nice pants.

"Fair enough." Katsuya ran a hand through his hair . . . his free hand. He and I both had our arms full of shirts and ties and one black suit jacket. Honestly, where is the customer service around here? Shouldn't someone be holding these **for** us? I think next time I'll take Jou to a nice men's boutique whether he is comfortable with it or not.

"Did you want to bother trying them on?" I nodded toward a dressing room on the other side of the store. I don't know why I asked, since I already know what his answer will be.

"Not in particular." I thought for sure it would be a more assertive 'no!' but whatever. Is something bothering him? He seems a little out of it.

"Then let's go pay for everything." I won't embarrass him by asking about it in front of Mokuba . . . even though he probably wouldn't think twice about embarrassing me.

"Fifty dollars?"

Mokuba and I turned around to see a rather freaked-out Jou. I guess he finally looked at one of the price tags. If he thinks that's expensive, he's going to have a heart attack when he sees how much I spend on **my** clothes.

The entire store fell to a hush until Katsuya finally noticed they were all staring. "Sorry." He muttered under his breath, bowing his head in shame. That's definitely his style.

The store went back to its bustle and noise.

"What's the problem, Jou?" Mokuba obviously didn't understand what the outburst was about. "How much do you usually spend on shirts?"

Probably only twenty dollars, maybe thirty.

"Well all I've ever really bough are t-shirts, so . . ."

Scratch that; maybe fifteen dollars.

"I dunno, five bucks?"

"Wow." Five dollars for a shirt? Where on earth does he shop? Honestly, I didn't know places sold clothes for so cheap! The quality is probably worse than a potato sack.

We piled all articles of clothing onto the checkout counter, surprising the man at the register. Could he have possibly scanned any slower than that? Shirt after shirt went through then came the mountain of pants Mokuba picked out. I probably should have checked them to make sure he got the correct sizes . . . no, I shouldn't doubt Mokuba; he's a smart kid.

"Holy shit . . ." Katsuya hissed as the jacket was scanned through.

"I'll buy you a nicer suit somewhere else, Jou." I promised, eyeing the subpar jacket. He deserves something nicer.

"That's definitely not necessary."

It definitely is. He's had to wear five-dollar shirts his entire life so now is his turn to be treated to luxurious items. Perhaps I'll give him a weekly allowance like I do with Mokuba that way he can go and buy whatever he wants. I think Katsuya would like that. As of right now . . . money is all that I really have to offer him.

We left the store with several bags and once again battled the growing mall crowd. I'll be honest . . . I'm kind of excited to get back home as soon as possible to have Jou try on at least one of his new outfits for me to see. I think he's going to look great in dress clothes. All he needs now is his own cell phone and a laptop.

"Where are we going now, Seto?" The three of us stopped in a small clearing to regroup.

"Well I was thinking about going to an electronics store to get Jou a laptop and then perhaps hitting a phone store . . . but you know how much I hate going around and shopping." I rarely go out and shop, but this is for Katsuya. Even so, the longer I'm out, the longer it will be until I can see Jou in his new clothes . . . "I think we can just order those things online and have everything delivered to us. Is that okay with you, Jou?" Of course it is, I dare you to say no!

"You really don't have to buy me all of this stuff, Seto . . ."

He looked really depressed about something. What could possibly be making him unhappy? Wouldn't someone like him normally be very excited about getting new things? Doesn't he think of these things as gifts? I don't know anyone that doesn't appreciate gifts . . . "What's the matter?" I folded my arms to let him know that I wasn't going anywhere until he told me what was wrong.

"You just don't need to keep buying me things. I can earn that stuff on my own." The last few words trailed off into silence and he refused to look at me. He can earn these things on his own? So is that the real problem here? Hm . . . it makes sense, really. Katsuya does come off as the time that **wouldn't** want things simply handed to him. I should have thought that through more carefully.

"So **that's **what your pouting is all about." I began to walk through the crowd again, the two of them following me. Whether he wants it or not, I will buy things for him, "Maybe I **want** to spoil you." It's not like I'm doing it because I feel like I have to, but . . . I guess I get some kind of satisfaction out of it. I want to see his face light up with a smile when he gets something he loves. That's the only thing I like about Christmas time; I get to see Mokuba so happy and excited.

"Yeah!" Mokuba chimed in, "Good boyfriends usually like spoiling their girlfriends."

That's right Mokuba; let Jou know who wears the pants in this relationship, heh.

"Hey now!" Suddenly Katsuya wasn't so sullen, "What makes you think that **I'm** the female in this relationship?"

"You're shorter so you're the girl. That's how it usually is in gay relationships."

Wait, what? "How it usually is?" Is Mokuba getting into things that I don't know about? "And just how, dare I ask, do you know how things usually are in gay relationships?" I swear to any god that may exist, if Mokuba says that he has been in a gay relationship . . . or any relationship at all, for that matter-

"I've got some female friends at school that are yaoi fangirls; they feel the need to tell me everything about it."

His friends talk to him about gay relationships? "While I'm looking for laptops and cell phones for Katsuya, I think I'll look for a home school teacher for you, Mokuba." Katsuya must be right; public school is bad news. Maybe we could do a compromise and I could send him to a private school.

"Noooooooooo Seto!" Mokuba grabbed onto my arm, tugging like a child.

"Hey Seto?" Katsuya appeared at my other side.

"Yeah?"

"Why did you decide to go to public school after Gozaburo died? Couldn't you have just continued your private tutoring?"

"That's a good question . . ." Mokuba added, apparently curious as well, "Well, Seto?"

Why did I attend public school? It was something that I thought I missed. When Mokuba and I were little, we attended public school and I remember having my own circle of friends and I remember playing with them during recess. We would go over to each other's houses and play in the park together . . . when I was living under Gozaburo I didn't have any of that and a part of me always longed for it. Even when I told myself I never wanted to make friends again, I still decided to attend public school. I guess that a part of me longed . . . to be normal again.

I shrugged, a knowing smile on my lips, "Who knows?" As if I'd ever say something so embarrassing! Perhaps in front of Jou, but in front of Mokuba? He'd never let me live that down! Then again, maybe he already knows the real reason . . .

As we headed toward the exit I phoned the driver and called for him to pick us up. He was waiting for us at the door, as expected. I always wonder if they really wait at the door the entire time and just pretend to be prompt and dutiful.

We slid back into the same places in the limousine, with Jou and I on one side and Mokuba on the other. Does this kind of thing bother Mokuba at all? Maybe I should ask him if it bothers him that Jou and I are together. I don't want to do things that upset my brother.

"Hey Jou, what kind of music do you listen to?" Mokuba fidgeted in his seat while attempting to make small talk. He doesn't like silence.

"Uhhh, pretty much whatever sounds good. I'm not too picky."

"Even country?"

"Wellllllll, maybe not country." Katsuya certainly doesn't seem like he would listen to country. Rap, maybe, but not country.

"Seto doesn't really listen to anything at all; he's lame!" I'm sure he made a face at me, but I just looked out the window and completely ignored his childish antics. It's not true that I don't listen to music . . . I'm kind of like Katsuya; I listen to whatever sounds good.

"Well some people only like music that they can relate to."

Music they can relate to? There are several songs like that, but I don't care much for them.

"Hey Seto, have you ever heard of a song called 'Behind Blue Eyes'?"

I turned away from the window and face a very enthusiastic-looking Katsuya, "Like Mokuba said, I don't listen to much music." It's probably some sappy pop song that's all the rage right now.

"But you haven't even heard of it?" Was my answer not obvious enough? "It was originally done by a band called 'The Who' and was later remade by the band 'Limp Bizkit'."

I couldn't help but furrow my brows. Did he really just say what I think he said? "Limp Biscuit?" Had I heard him right? "What the hell kind of name is that?" I know that bands tend to name themselves strange things, but seriously . . . limp biscuit? Sounds more like a parody group.

Upon hearing my answer Mokuba erupted into laughter and Katsuya fought the urge to do so himself. I really don't see what is so funny about my question. Shouldn't they be laughing at the name of that group instead? Or maybe . . . maybe they're both laughing because Katsuya was actually lying about the band because he knows I don't know much about musical groups. I don't like when people make a fool out of me.

"There are worse names out there than that." Katsuya informed me, a smile on his face.

"Worse than Limp Biscuit?"

"Ever heard of the Butthole Surfers?"

The Butthole Surfers? Okay, now I **know** he's just fucking playing around with me. "Shut the hell up." I turned back to my window.

"I'm serious!" Jou insisted, "We can look it up when we get home!"

You're damn right we'll look it up when we get home and if I find out that you were just fucking with me, I'll smother you with a damn pillow! As for Mokuba, I really **will** get him a home school teacher!

**

* * *

**

The first thing we did when we got home was get on the computer in my office at the front of the house. All I could do was get up and leave the room while Mokuba and Jou laughed their asses off at me. Katsuya hadn't been lying after all! What the hell is wrong with people? Why on earth would they want to be called something so awful as 'The Butthole Surfers'? Just thinking of that name makes me feel ridiculous!

While the two of them recovered from laughing until they cried, I sent the new clothes off to be washed . . . of course it was only **after **I had them sent away that I remembered I wanted Katsuya to try an outfit on for me to see . . . but I suppose it can wait until they've been washed. I feel weird getting excited over such a small thing.

I was trying to decide what meal would be good for dinner, but Katsuya and Mokuba both pestered me in unison until I finally gave in and allowed them to order pizza for dinner. I try not to let Mokuba eat too many fattening foods. I've seen what's happening to children these days and I'll be damned if I let my brother turn into something like that!

I placed the order online to avoid having to call the damn place. I made the mistake of ordering over the phone once and those people are far too suspicious. I order online and pay online and they just give me my damn food. I love the internet.

We all sat at our usual spots at the table (yes, even Katsuya has his own usual spot now) and had our dinner. Katsuya and Mokuba were eating with their hands, which is pretty disgusting. Pizza is so greasy! Don't they hate the way that stuff feels on their skin? I was eating mine with a knife and fork.

"Have you ever thought about grilling out and eating outside by your pool?" Jou asked, stuffing his mouth full immediately afterward.

"That would be so much fun!" Mokuba chimed, grinning from ear to ear. "We should **so** do that, Seto!"

I put down my silverware and dabbed the corners of my mouth with my napkin. If it's something that Mokuba really wants to do, I would love to do it, but . . . "If I told you I have no idea how to work a grill, would you believe me?"

Katsuya eyed me, swallowing his bite of pizza, "Yeah."

"Well at least you're honest." I picked my silverware back up to continue eating. I figured he'd say something of the sort. I don't really ever cook and I certainly don't grill . . . do we even **have** a grill? Oh well, I can always buy one if I don't already have one.

"Don't worry, Seto! I'll be happy to show you how to use a grill." Katsuya threw me a smile, "I'm pretty good at cooking burgers and steaks and stuff. My friends and I grill out over at Honda's place all the time." He seemed so proud of his ability to cook. His cooking actually wasn't that bad . . . well, as long as he didn't burn the food.

It's something that he can do, so naturally he is happy. "I'd like that a lot." I returned his smile. If it will make him happy to teach me how to cook on a grill, I will let him teach me.

As I started eating again I stole a glance at Jou . . . but was unable to look away. Now before you go thinking that I was captivated by his looks or something creepy like that, let me tell you that he had the most awkward expression I think I've ever seen on him. I almost looked under the table to make sure he wasn't pissing his pants or something. The look he made . . . it was as if . . . something felt . . . _good_. Like, really good.

"You okay, Jou?" Mokuba asked, since I was currently rendered speechless.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" Jou insisted, looking from Mokuba and then to me. Well at least that frightening expression was gone! What could he have possibly been thinking about? No, I really don't want to know.

"Hey big bro, why did you buy Jou all of those clothes anyway?" Uhhhhh . . . "Is it some creepy fetish that you have?" He flashed me another grin that reminded me of Katsuya.

It isn't creepy to want the person you're dating to look halfway decent. There is nothing wrong with cleaning him up a bit. I'm sure it will boost Katsuya's confidence as well. Anyways, what kind of answer can I give Mokuba that won't give him any weird ideas? "That's not it at all. Jou is going to be living with us from now on and I'd like it if he dressed better." A simple reason like that ought to suffice. There doesn't have to be any major underlying reason for buying him nicer clothes, does there?

"Wait, what?" Mokuba furrowed his brows and glanced from me, to Jou, and then back to me. Was it something I said? "Jou is going to be living with us?"

Had I not told him? Well, it wasn't my intention to change the subject, but this worked out rather nicely, "I didn't tell you that already?" It's not like it was some big secret. I think Mokuba will like Katsuya's company.

"No."

"Oh . . . hey Mokuba?"

"Yeah Seto?"

"Jou is going to be living with us." I took another bite of pizza and followed it with a smirk. Sometimes I just love being a smartass. Besides, joking around a bit would ease any tension there might have been.

"Awesome! I get another big brother!" Mokuba cheered. He really seemed to excited about it . . . it's great to see him smiling so much.

"Actually," Jou began, "It will be like getting a dad; Seto can be like your mom and I'll be like your dad."

. . . **What**?

Mom and dad? What is he implying? Why is he getting Mokuba's hopes up like that? The way he acts sometimes . . . is he really even that serious about us?

I guess I inhaled too quickly when I was about to yell something at the blond . . . because the food I should have been chewing was suddenly lodged in my throat.

I grabbed at my throat and was about to slam my back against a wall in an attempt to get the food out when Jou yelled something and yanked me from my seat. In a flash, he was behind me and performing the Heimlich maneuver (I can't believe he knows it). In a matter of seconds the food hit the nearby wall and then fell to the floor.

I stood there, gasping for air in time with the two other males in the room. Something so simple can kill a person. I know that regardless of whether Jou was here or not, someone would have helped me, but still . . . sometimes I get to thinking about what if I died. Obviously sometimes I forget what is important and do something stupid like contemplate suicide. I promised Mokuba that I would be there for him, that I would be his dad.

"_Seto can be like your mom and I'll be like your dad."_

Parents . . . something Mokuba never really got to have. Gozaburo can't even be considered a father figure and aside from him . . . Mokuba has grown up with only me. If Katsuya gets Mokuba's hope up only to crush them . . .

"Is everything okay in here?"

. . . I don't know what I'd do.

Miyu entered the dining room and Jounouchi stepped away from me. For some reason I feel so pissed off right now. Just the thought of him betraying us . . . betraying my brother . . . betraying me . . .

"Yup! Jou saved Seto's life!" Mokuba clapped his hands, "I guess that I was wrong earlier, Jou! **You** are the boyfriend and **Seto** is the girlfriend!"

I glared at Jou, but . . . why am I glaring? What has he done to deserve it? I can't keep living with these uneasy thoughts. I need to know exactly what Katsuya is expecting of me and if he intends to stay with me for the long-run.

"Mokuba," I kept my attention focused on Katsuya, "if you're finished eating please go and do as I asked." Do as I asked . . . I've raised you properly, haven't I? You're a lot kinder than I am.

Miyu slipped out of the room like a good employee.

"But Seto, today is Saturday! There's no one at the school right now!"

"And what did I tell you to do if there wasn't anyone there?"

". . . e-mail my teachers."

"Please do as you're asked."

"Yes, Seto." He slid from his chair and left Jou and I alone.

"Jounouchi." I have to settle this once and for all.

"Y-yeah?" Maybe I shouldn't have used his last name. He knows that something is wrong and I'm probably making him nervous . . . but I'm nervous too.

"Finish your dinner and meet me in my bedroom." I left him alone in the dining room.

I guess that I kind of ruined dinner for the two of them. That was stupid of me to do. I hope Mokuba isn't too upset about it. I'll find a way to make it up to him. Perhaps tomorrow afternoon we can grill out by the pool for lunch. Mokuba and Katsuya will both enjoy that . . . that is, if Katsuya comes home tomorrow.

Saki . . . I swear if you do anything to hurt him . . . I'll find a way to break you.

**

* * *

**

I practically collapsed onto my own bed and sprawled out across the mattress on my back with my arms stretched out to either side. I took a quick breath and slowly exhaled, my eyes focused on the ceiling.

Will Katsuya get offended when I ask him what he wants from me? Ever since this project began I've been nothing but paranoid and, well, overemotional. I'm not afraid to admit it. I should be taking that damn medication and I'm not. I have nothing to blame for my actions these past few days but myself. Maybe I should just start taking the pills again. I know they make me feel strange, but that feeling is better than this feeling of paranoia and uneasiness. I can't go on seeing those images and hearing the voices of the past . . . I can't go on being unable to trust those that actually care about me.

At least, I **think** Katsuya cares about me. Everything he does seems genuine, but his actions are what worry me.

I heard someone enter my room and close the door. The visitor approached my bed. "Are you okay?" Jou's voice as quiet as he kneeled down beside me and grabbed my right hand.

His kindness must be real. If it isn't, he's a brilliant actor. Even so, I still feel like I need to ask. Asking may not prove anything, but I think it will lift a heavy weight off of my chest. "What are your intentions?" I turned my head to face him, trying not to melt from that worried look in his eyes.

"My intentions?" I suppose that **was** a bit vague.

"What are you expecting from our relationship?"

His lips parted and he just stared at me for a moment. "I don't know how to answer that."

He doesn't know how to answer that? "What is that supposed to mean?" How am I supposed to react to an answer like that? For all I know, he could just be trying to come up with what I want to hear instead of telling me what he really wants.

"I mean exactly what I said!" His grip on my hand tightened almost to the point that it was painful, "I don't know what kind of answer you want from me. I freak out every time you ask me things because I'm worried that I'll answer the wrong way and you'll hate me or be cold to me again like you used to be. You're finally opening up to me and I'd like to keep it that way."

He's worried that I'll be cold to him again? "I never meant to make you nervous . . ." I faced the ceiling again. Does he really feel like he has to watch what he says to me? It must be very stressful to be around me.

"You asked me what I'm expecting from this relationship . . ."

"You don't have to answer, Katsuya." I turned back to him again and he looked like he was thinking hard about it. It's not fair of me to ask him a question like that when all he has done is try to get close to me. Katsuya isn't Saki and I'm just too stupid to remember that.

"I think that I want . . . I want . . ." He's not listening to me.

"Katsuya, you don't have to an-"

"Just shut up for a minute, would ya? Sorry, I don't mean it like that." Did he just tell me to shut up? Didn't he just say he was worried about saying the wrong thing to me? "I want to answer your question as best as I can, okay? Just give me a second to get my thoughts together. You said it's bad to speak without thinking, right?" He graced me with a smile that was so like him.

It's bad to speak without thinking . . . yeah, I've said that to him numerous times. That's one trait that I've always liked about Katsuya. He may not have any one specific talent that he can show off with or use to make a nice living, but no matter what the task is he will always do his best.

"I could say some mushy stuff, I guess," Please don't. "like I want to wake up next to you every morning or I want to kiss you goodnight before I fall asleep every night, but . . . that's not what I want to say."

I couldn't help but laugh a little. Leave it to Katsuya to tell me what he **doesn't** want to say.

"In the end," he continued, "I don't really care what happens. I'll do anything or go anywhere, as long as you're there too."

He wants to go wherever I am? It doesn't matter what happens, he wants to be with me.

"Seto?" The sound of his voice knocked me away from my 'moment'.

"Oh, uh, yes?" I sat up in my bed and slid backward to lean against the headboard. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around what he just said.

"Heh, and you said that **I** zone out a lot. I asked you what made you ask me that question." He joined me in my bed, my right hand still grasped in his left hand.

So he wants to know why I asked? It's only fair that I clue him in. "It's just that you always make such perverted comments and then this afternoon when we were in the hot tub . . ." I could feel heat rising to my cheeks. How far would things have gone if Mokuba hadn't come out? I get caught up in the moment far too easily. I was guilty of the same thing with Saki on several occasions; however I was able to come to my senses before I allowed him to go _too_far.

"I like to joke around, and that time in the hot tub I wasn't the only one acting that way."

Gee, thanks for calling me out like that. "I guess that I was getting a little caught up in the moment . . . but in the end, I don't think I would have done anything more than that." Just like with Saki, I would have stopped you. Would you have been mad? "I think that it started out as a playful joke and turned into more than I bargained for." Is that really the truth?

"You mean you were teasing me." He poked my nose and after a matter of seconds the two of us were laughing like children.

"Teasing, huh?" I leaned my head on his shoulder; I hope he doesn't mind. "I don't really mean to be that way. Saki said I always teased him and that I was cruel for doing it." I didn't mean to tease him, it really wasn't my intention, "He said that's why he . . ."

"He's a creepy, psychotic, fuckhead that just needs to go slide down the sharp edge of a fifty-foot razorblade into an Olympic-size pool of lemon juice so he can die from blood loss while in complete agony." Both of his hands were now clenched into fists as he shook them in front of himself at an imaginary Kitamori Saki.

"Geez Jou, tell us how you really feel!" Mokuba approached the bed.

Tomorrow I'm getting a lock installed on my bedroom door.

I leaned away from Jou's shoulder, "Did you email your teachers?"

He sighed, folding his arms and rolling his eyes, "Yes **mother**." He then followed up with a glare in my direction.

Can all of this really be excused with his age? Mokuba has been more and more moody lately and it's starting to really piss me off. "Excuse me?" I let him know through my tone that his attitude wasn't acceptable.

"I'm just kidding!" Mokuba laughed nervously, rubbing at the back of his head. "Learn to take a joke, bro! Hey, maybe now that Jou is around you'll stop acting like such an old man!"

It seems that everyone is using the 'I was just joking' excuse lately. "I don't act like an old man." I returned the glare he shot me a moment ago.

"Whatever." That wasn't the reaction I was looking for. "Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that I did like you told me to, so you can stop pestering me about it."

"Now you need to go to bed." Before that attitude of yours makes me hurt you.

"What? Seto, I'm thirteen years old already! Besides, it's Saturday! No school tomorrow!" He clasped his hands together in front of his chest and gave me the best puppy eyes he could muster, "Pleaaaaaaase, Seto?"

I really hate it when he looks at me that way. Well at least I can use this as a bargaining tool. "Fine, do whatever. Just don't come back in here unless it's an emergency, okay?" This way he'll leave us alone and won't burst in randomly throughout the night.

"Oh." Mokuba narrowed his eyes and raised both eyebrows, a smirk on his lips. Shouldn't he be excited that I agreed to let him stay up? "I see." See what? "I'll leave you two alone." Oh for fuck's sake. "Hey Jou?"

"Yeah?"

"Make sure you use a condom and be careful with my brother; he is very thin and fragile."

I immediately launched a pillow at him (believe me, I nearly grabbed the lamp), but he had already disappeared and shut the door behind him before it had a chance to make contact with his head. "I swear. Where does he learn things like that?" I rubbed at my face, exhausted from the events of the day. Sitting in a bed always makes me feel more tired than I thought I was.

"He's thirteen." Katsuya reiterated for the millionth time.

"I'm going to change and go to bed." I slid from the bed, "I know it isn't very late, but it's been a long day and I'm exhausted." I wonder how well I'll sleep tonight.

"What will you do tomorrow when I'm at Kitamori Corporation?"

I froze in my steps on the way to my closet, "I really don't want you to go there." Given what Saki told me earlier, I can't do anything to help Katsuya if he gets into a bad situation while he's out with Saki.

"But I'm going anyway. Besides, aren't you more afraid of what Saki might do if I **don't** go?"

"_I know where Mokuba attends school and I'm not beyond kidnapping." _

He certainly has a point. I entered my closet to get my pajamas and found that Katsuya's were hanging right next to mine. "They washed yours and put them in here too. I don't get it. They threw your swimming trunks on my bed, but hung these up? They really must be stupid." I tossed Jou his clothes, "To answer your question," because I'm sure he would nag me if I didn't, "I guess I'll just go to work in the morning and take Mokuba with me." Saki said he wouldn't do anything as long as I did what he asked, but I know from experience that his word isn't worth a grain of salt.

"That's probably best." He stood up from my bed and unfolded his pajamas. "I guess I'll just change out here while you change in the bathroom."

"Um . . ." I grabbed his wrist, tugging lightly. Wait, what am I doing?

Katsuya laughed, "What are you doing?" He asked me, but I just asked myself the same question.

"Um . . . you said that you didn't mind doing anything as long as I'm there, right?" What am I saying? "Well . . . I'm changing in **here**, so . . ." I dropped his arm. Were those words really leaving my lips? Ridiculous! "You know what? You're right." And yet . . . "I'm being really weird right now, sorry." . . . my heart is beating so fast at just the thought of changing together with Katsuya.

"Woah, woah, woah! Hey now, don't go changing your mind so quickly! I, Jounouchi Katsuya, would be honored to change in the bathroom with you." He ran to the doorway, acting like a dork, "After you." He just wanted to see me take my clothes off . . .

I punched his arm lightly as I passed him, "I love you, you damn pervert."

. . . and I guess I'm okay with that.

**

* * *

**

I've slowed down quite a bit! So it's off to BBE 32 now, right? Day nine has finally arrived and with that day comes . . . (cue eerie music) the confrontation between Jou and Saki! Thanks for reading! Please give me your support and opinions by writing reviews! I don't know what you do and don't like unless you tell me! (and reviews make me super happy!)


	32. Day Nine: Confrontation

_**Behind Blue Eyes: Seto's Story**_

* * *

Ehem! After much delay, I bring you the new chapter. Next up is BBE 33. Can I finish it before Christmas? Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Yu-gi-oh was created by Kazuki Takahashi, not me. Kitamori Saki was created by me. This story was also created by me. Any questions?

**

* * *

__****Recap:**

_He ran to the doorway, acting like a dork, "After you." He just wanted to see me take my clothes off . . ._

_I punched his arm lightly as I passed him, "I love you, you damn pervert."_

_. . . and I guess I'm okay with that._

**

* * *

**

I woke up at about 6:30 in the morning. Katsuya was still snoozing away, of course, so I decided to just leave the alarm on.

Today. Today is the day that Katsuya is supposed to go and meet up with Saki. Saki said he wouldn't hurt him, but Saki is smart; he can find ways around his promises. I'm sure he has every intention of trying to drag Katsuya away from me. I have faith that Katsuya is pretty tough, but Saki isn't the type to get in a fist fight. Saki is more likely to use psychological manipulation. _He_ wouldn't hurt Jou, no, but he would say things to make Jou mentally beat _himself_ up.

I shook the thought away and climbed out of bed, leaving the room to check on Mokuba. Just like the blond in my own bed, Mokuba was sound asleep. I'm actually surprised he went to bed. I thought for sure that I would find him passed out in his computer chair or something of the sort.

I went downstairs to see the housekeepers already preparing for work. They always get here so early . . . "Good morning."

A few of them jumped from my sudden appearance while the rest just stared at me like deer caught in headlights. Okay so let's be honest here . . . I don't really greet them very often. I don't really know what to say to them. What **can** you say to someone that washes your clothes and cleans your house?

"What's this? The great Kaiba Seto has come down to greet us lowly servants?"

"Miyu." I pursed my lips as the head of housekeeping leaned against a wall.

"It seems you're changing bit by bit." She smiled, but her eyes were laughing.

"I'm not changing at all. Can't I say good morning to my employees every now and then?" I eyed the group of women standing behind her and they immediately scurried away to begin the day's work.

"Of course you can . . ." She folded her arms, still smiling, "But you never do. Just admit that having that boy around you is softening your heart and I'll stop teasing you."

That boy? Katsuya? There's no way she could know that he and I are . . . "Well I guess that you'll just have to tease me until the end of time." I turned away to go back upstairs.

"What would you like for breakfast, Seto?" Miyu called from behind me.

"I'll take the usual with extra strong coffee today." I looked back over my shoulder and smirked, "French toast and milk will be fine for the kids."

**

* * *

**It was about seven o'clock by the time I finally slid back beneath the sheets. On my way back to bed I stopped to check my phone for any messages. I also checked my email via my phone, saw the giant number in my inbox, and then proceeded to turn my phone off. I swear I hate reading email.

When Jou began to move around I closed my eyes. I guess for some reason I wanted to pretend that I was still asleep, perhaps to see what Katsuya would do. It's not that I'm testing him, I'm just . . . curious? I could always open my eyes suddenly and scare the hell out of him. That could be fun.

I felt the bed shift as his weight left the mattress. From the sound of things, he was turning off the alarm on the clock. I was actually surprised that he woke up without it and at such an early hour too. Hopefully he slept well and wasn't plagued with bad dreams all night. Does Katsuya have nightmares often? Hmmm, he's probably the type that doesn't often remember his dreams.

I almost opened my eyes when I suddenly felt fingers gently brushing against my forehead, moving my bangs aside . . . and then I couldn't help but open my eyes when I was kissed on the forehead immediately after.

"It's not nice to take advantage of a sleeping person." I joked, fighting a laugh when Katsuya jumped away from me. Ah, so I startled him after all.

"Ahaha, I just wanted to give you a little kiss! I thought I woke up before you." He can be so sweet . . . I want him to stay here with me forever. I don't want him to go see Saki.

"I'm used to waking up early, so I wake up whether I want to or not. What would you like for breakfast this morning? Did you want something here? We could always go out for breakfast." Before sliding out from under the sheets, I purposely undid the bottom buttons on my pajama shirt. Even though breakfast is already being prepared, we can change plans. Stay with me all day long . . . don't go and see Saki.

"Uh, something here is fine."

That's it, look only at me. You love me right? If you love me, you won't go see Saki. "Are you looking at my stomach?" I tilted my head and smirked, one hand now resting on my stomach.

But why am I acting like this? Is this what Saki meant when he said I was a tease? I think . . . I think I just know how to get what I want. I'm willing to go to certain lengths to get what I want. I don't think of it as 'teasing'. It's more like a form of manipulation . . . a form of power.

"You're trying to distract me, aren't you?" He narrowed his eyes at me. Was he really angry about it?

In the end, the tactic that worked so well in the past has no effect on Katsuya . . . that must mean something, right?

"I already told the cooks what to make. It's probably done by now." I went past him and toward the dining room.

I am worried about him, but I should trust him enough to make his own decisions . . . shouldn't I?

**

* * *

**I left the duty of waking Mokuba to Jou, who seemed more than a little excited to get my brother out of bed. I can see that the two of them are going to act like mischievous brothers from now on. As long as what they do doesn't hurt anything, it's okay with me.

"So today is the big day!" Mokuba grinned at Jou from across the table as we sat down to eat our breakfast. "The big confrontation!" He was referring to the meeting between Katsuya and Saki, of course. The two of them are so carefree about the whole situation, but neither one of them really knows how Saki is. It seems he has changed even more from when I knew him . . . then again, did I really even know the real him at all?

"Yeah." Suddenly Katsuya didn't seem so enthusiastic. Maybe he's actually very worried and nervous, but he's hiding it from me to make me calm down. If that's what he's doing and I find out about it, I'm going to be pissed.

I mutilated the eggs on my plate with my fork.

"_Don't worry, I won't hurt him as long as you don't have anyone following." _

That's what he said, but . . .

"_You're mine. You'll always be mine"_

He wants Katsuya gone. What will he do to get rid of Katsuya? Even if he doesn't hurt him **physically**, that doesn't mean he won't hurt him **mentally**.

"Don't play with your food, Seto." Katsuya winked when my head snapped up. Ah, so he noticed.

I flashed him a smile since I really didn't know what else to do and took a bite of egg. Note that I don't shovel it into my mouth like Katsuya does. I should teach him table etiquette . . . no, that won't do. I like him the way that he is . . . and I don't want to make him uncomfortable. If I annoy him too much, he would probably leave.

"What's the matter, bro?" Mokuba eyed my suspiciously.

"I'm just worried, Mokuba." I stabbed at my eggs again, watching as I made a mess of my breakfast.

"You don't have to worry." Katsuya insisted yet again, "I'll go there, hear what that dick has to say-"

"Language." I scolded, looking up from my plate and pointing my fork at Katsuya's face. How many times do I need to tell him to watch his mouth? Oh, but does it annoy him? I really don't want him to talk like that in front of my brother.

"Right." Katsuya pursed his lips, "I'll go there, hear what that _**jerk**_ has to say, and then come right back home. Oh . . . how am I supposed to get home?"

What is he talking about? Why wouldn't he be able to-

Oh. Right. Katsuya doesn't have his own vehicle. Does he even have a license? I think I once had a thought about buying him a motorcycle, but those things are pretty dangerous. Either way, if he doesn't know how to drive a motorcycle or a car, buying one for him today won't do any bit of good. He will just have to call me when he is ready to leave . . . oh, but he doesn't have a cell phone. Why on earth doesn't someone his age have a cell phone? I mean, my brother had his own phone when was only-

That's it!

"I've got it!" I snapped my fingers at the realization, "Mokuba, let Jou borrow your cell phone." He's thirteen; what could he possibly need a cell phone for if he's with me?

Mokuba apparently didn't feel the same. "_**What?**_"

I guess I should have seen a reaction like that coming. "He doesn't have his own cell phone and I need mine for work so that only leaves yours." I rubbed at the side of my head, releasing a sigh. "Honestly, it's just for a little while." Kids these days . . .

. . . not that I'm old or anything.

Mokuba shot Katsuya a glare, "Jou, if you break my phone then I'll break _you_, got it?" He shook a fist and then began to laugh. Somehow I think he was only half-joking.

"Man, I thought you were actually pissed off for a second!" Jou admitted, laughing right along with Mokuba.

My brother instantly stopped laughing, "Oh I am. Don't break my phone and don't call or text anyone other than my brother."

Just like I thought. He's awfully protective over that phone. Perhaps I should call all of the numbers in his contacts list and see who he has been talking to. "I think someone is cranky from a lack of sleep." I taunted, taking another bite of my breakfast before smirking at my irritable little brother.

"Shut up." He huffed, reluctantly sliding his cell phone across the table toward Katsuya.

I think that Mokuba will definitely love the addition of Katsuya to the family. The two of them get along like family already . . .

**

* * *

**By 8:15 I had already showered, dressed, and was already finishing up with my hair. I sent Katsuya to shower in a guest room, since there's no way in hell I'm going to share one with him. I'm not stupid, I'm sure that's what he wanted me to do. Well, maybe he wasn't. It's wrong of me to assume he's always thinking like a pervert.

"You out yet?" I heard his voice call from out in my bedroom.

I pushed open my bathroom door to let him know it was okay to enter and then resumed work on my hair. Call me a priss if you want, but I'm particular about my hair.

"You sure look sharp." Katsuya watched my reflection in the mirror.

"I'm going to work, so I need to dress decent." But let's be honest, do I ever dress in anything that **isn't** at least decent? Save for that time that Katsuya talked me into wearing **his** clothes, of course. By the way, what the fuck was I thinking when I agreed to something so ridiculous? "You will also be dressing nice today." I reminded him, in case he had any thoughts about going out in his usual attire. He's going to meet Saki so I want him to look sharp. I'm sure he'll clean up very well . . .

"Yup."

The housekeepers were bringing in his new clothes just as we left my bathroom. Everything was clean and ironed. I waved the women off, since it seemed they wanted to linger, and began rummaging through the various shirts, ties, and slacks. Katsuya just leaned against the doorframe. It's best that he doesn't try to help.

Let's see . . . he could wear khaki's and a green shirt. Green looks good on him and . . . no, no, that won't do. He should definitely wear black pants. Hm . . . what kinds of things do I like my employees to wear? Nothing too flashy (AN: Yeah Seto, like you have room to tell people not to dress flashy).

I glanced at Jounouchi to try and imagine something on him . . . when I noticed the mess on his head. "What the hell did you do to your hair?" Did he even brush it at all?

"Huh?" I reached a hand up as if he didn't know what I could be talking about. "Oh, I towel-dried it, so it's probably a little poofy or something."

A little poofy? It was a giant mess! "I'll fix it once I've dressed you." Is he really this helpless?

"Dressed me?" Oh no. "You're gonna take my robe off and put my clothes on me?"

I faced the clothes as images of me peeling off his robe popped into my head. **NO**. I mean, as the thought of me pulling off his robe popped into my head. **No, not that either**! I mean . . . you know what I mean.

"Not like that, you damned pervert." It's **not** wrong of me to assume he's thinking like a pervert all the time. I let him get away with it last night, but he can't expect that all the time.

"Hey, last night you were okay with me being a pervert."

"I was drunk." I lied, looking for a reasonable excuse.

"You didn't even drink anything!" He blurted out the obvious. "Or were you drunk off of my good looks?" When I looked at him he struck a pose, dramatically blowing a kiss my way.

He somehow manages to make everything sound dirty. "Ugh, you are impossible."

"Impossibly **hot**, perhaps."

Point. Made. I yanked some black dress pants down from a hanger, "Here." I tossed them at him and unfortunately he caught them before they hit him in the face. I should have thrown the whole damn hanger. "And for your shirt . . ." Right, I still hadn't really decided. "I think we should go for a clean, classy look."

"Uh, yeah, sounds good." Katsuya agreed even though I'm ninety-nine percent positive he's only agreeing because he's clueless.

"A white, button-down dress shirt and a dark blue tie." You can't go wrong with black pants and a white shirt. The blue tie was just for the hell of it, I guess. I like blue. "Let's see that bastard call you trash in _this_." I'll prove to him that Katsuya cleans up well.

"Yeah, 'cause I'm gonna look- wait. Saki called me trash?" Katsuya looked shocked.

Had I not told him about that? I placed the shirt and tie on my bed, "To be more precise, he called you the 'blond piece of trash' that I 'dragged home'." Maybe I should tell Katsuya these things, but a part of me _wants_ Katsuya to be angry with Saki. If he's mad enough, he definitely won't let his guard down. Even during my most recent encounter with Saki and I alone together . . . the memory still make me cringe . . . Saki seemed different than he used to be. Something has changed. I'm worried about Katsuya.

"I swear when I see that stupid face of his-"

No. "Katsuya." I can't let him act out of anger. "Don't do anything stupid. Go there, listen to whatever bullshit he has to say, and leave. I know you hate him, but hurting him isn't something worth losing your life over."

"_and shoot to kill."_

"He told me that he wouldn't hurt you as long as I kept my men away and as far as I know, he has never killed anyone . . . but . . .

"_but when I saw you that day at the mall with that filthy blond . . . I got so pissed off."_

"I don't really know anything aside from what he told me about himself and you know as well as I do that his word isn't exactly something that can be trusted." He really doesn't like Katsuya . . . will he keep his word?

"Yeah, I know." Jou insisted, but he didn't sound so sure of himself anymore. Deep down, I think he's worried as well.

The silence during the car ride over to Kitamori Corporation only made the situation more unbearable. Why am I letting Katsuya meet up with Saki? He threatened Mokuba . . . I have to protect Mokuba, of course, but . . . was there really no other option? I've given Katsuya Mokuba's cell phone so that I can track him via GPS at my office, so at least I'll have the comfort of knowing exactly where he is. Something tells me that their 'meeting' won't take place at Kitamori Corp.

The car rolled to a stop and I couldn't bring myself to even look at Katsuya when the driver opened his door. I've got such a bad feeling about this entire situation . . .

"Well, I guess this is where we go our separate ways."

Don't word it like that . . .

"Jou." Mokuba caught his attention, likely feeling the same as me. Jou means no harm, but . . . saying it like that really sounds like we'll never meet again.

"Seto . . ." Ah, no, did he see the worry on my face? I wasn't even looking at him. "hey, this afternoon we're grilling out, so don't you go eating at some fancy restaurant, you go that, moneybags?"

I turned to him at the sound of my old nickname and Katsuya gave me the sweetest smile.

"I'm gonna stand right behind you and guide your hands while I teach you how to cook on a grill!"

I returned his smile to the best of my ability, even though he was being a pervert right in front of Mokuba. This is Katsuya's way of telling me that he'll be coming home and he'll be okay. "Right." I reached down beside me to grab the gun that I had asked him to take. "You forgot this, so I picked it up before we left the house." Knowing Katsuya, he won't take it.

"I really don't think I should bring that with me, Seto. Don't you think carrying something like that around will make him freak out?"

I put the weapon back on the seat, "Yeah, you're probably right." He has a point. I'm surprised he actually thought that through. I've been getting more and more rash with my decisions.

As Katsuya stepped out of the car, he leaned back inside, his cheeks slightly pink, "Can I get a 'see ya later' kiss?"

What? Seriously? Here?

I glanced quickly at Mokuba, who was grinning of course. It's not something I want to do in front of Mokuba, let alone in front of my driver but . . . I don't want any more regrets.

I gave him a peck on the lips, "See you later, Kat-chan." I winked and he finally leaned out of the limousine. I watched his figure disappear in the distance as we finally left Kitamori Corporation.

That's when it hit me.

"What the _**hell**_ did I just do?" 'Kat-chan?' Winking? Me?

"I was just about to ask you the same thing, bro, but I was in so much shock that my mouth wouldn't move." Mokuba erupted into laughter, wiping at his eyes to emphasize just how humorous he found the situation.

"Shut up, Mokuba." I kicked playfully at his ankles, only causing him to laugh even more.

Mokuba's laughter . . . it's probably my favorite sound. I would do anything to see him smile and to hear him laugh. He's the most precious person in my life and he always will be. Even so, Jou is right; Mokuba will grow up and leave and create a family of his own. I have no desire to get married and have children. There are very few people I can tolerate enough to live with for the rest of my life . . . that's where Katsuya comes in, I guess. Could I live with Katsuya for the rest of my life? I suppose that I'm willing to find out.

When Mokuba and I arrived at Kaiba Corporation I wanted nothing more than to go straight up to my office and immerse myself so far in my work that I'd forget all about worrying. That wouldn't be happening though.

"Oh, Mister Kaiba!" A group of my employees approached me. I think they're the same people that Saki spooked yesterday.

"Leave me alone."

"Mister Kaiba, everyone was so worried yesterday!" One man exclaimed, clearly ignoring my order. I don't even know this man's name; does he really think I care if he was worried or not? Besides, their worry is fake. They want a promotion or a raise. Bunch of ass-kissers.

I eyed the small crowd, "Right. That mess yesterday? It never happened." The last thing I need is for this to turn into a giant fiasco.

"Never happened?" One woman tilted her head.

Is she really that dense? I need to look over hiring requirements. "Precisely. That never happened." I glared at each and every one of them in turn, "Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, mister Kaiba." Came their obedient reply in unison.

"Wonderful. In that case, I'll be in my office." Mokuba and I left the group where they stood and finally went up to my office.

As soon as I shut the door Mokuba let out a long whistle, "Geez, Seto! You were so scary!" He lazily slumped down onto the couch, "I wonder what Jou would say if he saw you talk to them like that."

"Jou isn't the one running the company." I turned on my computer and tossed the gun from earlier into the drawer that held my other gun. I have way too many guns. That's not safe now that Mokuba is a teenager . . .

Said teenager was busy making himself comfortable on the couch in the sitting area of my office. "Get your shoes off of my couch."

Mokuba's response was to promptly untie and kick off his shoes, which landed clear across my office, "Better now?" He chuckled, amused by his own antics.

I only sighed and shook my head, clicking the icon on my desktop to check my email. I've been neglecting my work for too long . . . I guess I was too caught up in the idea of staying at home. I'm forgetting what I've worked so hard to accomplish. Work must come first.

My eyes darted briefly to Mokuba.

Work comes second.

"I hope you have something to keep yourself occupied." I didn't need Mokuba constantly bothering me while I tried to play catch-up. "Mokuba, are you listening to me?" The faint sound of loud music coming through headphones was the only response I needed to know that he was indeed occupied.

I really wish Mokuba would be more into things like reading and learning. Instead he's into music, video games, and 'hanging out' with his friends from school. I guess I can't nag him about the video games, given the type of business I'm in, but I need to make him study more. His grades in school are above average, but aren't straight A's. He rarely even asks me for help. I always made perfect scores in all of my subjects, on all of my assignments. I studied until I completely understood everything that I was taught.

. . . but Mokuba isn't me.

No, it is definitely best that Mokuba lives his life as much like a normal teenage boy as possible. That's the kind of life we wanted, right? A carefree life for the two of us.

I brought up the internet and went to the website for my phone service carrier. Since Katsuya has Mokuba's cell phone, I'll be able to track his location via GPS.

It came as no surprise to me that his current location was **not** Kitamori Corporation. Saki isn't the type of person that would do his business in the public eye, especially if he's up to no good. Damn it all! Why did I let Katsuya go there?

I slammed my fist down on my desk without thinking and then looked quickly to Mokuba to see if he noticed. His feet were bobbing up and down to the beat of the music blaring over his headphones. How many times have I told him not to play it so loud?

I tried my best to get some work done, but found myself constantly checking the GPS. The current location was Saki's house. I knew the address well, since I had been there several times before.

Whenever Gozaburo didn't want to take me with him on trips, I was left with Saki. Gozaburo was close friends with Saki's father, so I guess he trusted Saki enough to leave me in his care. Though we eventually grew close, Saki . . . didn't like me at first.

"_I don't really know how to handle kids, just so you know." A 21 year old Saki folded his arms, scrunching up his nose in apparent annoyance. "I don't know why the hell your father couldn't just hire someone to watch you. I'm not a babysitter."_

_It's not like I wanted to be in this kind of situation any more than he did, but I wouldn't tell him that. If he intends to leave me to myself, that works out perfectly._

Mokuba always stayed with someone else. I suppose that by separating us, Gozaburo eliminated the possibility of me escaping along with my brother. He knew very well that I would never leave Mokuba and used that to his advantage on numerous occasions.

I was stuck alone with someone that was annoyed by my presence . . . or at least, that's how he acted.

_I was sitting in one of the guest rooms working on the mountain of assignments given to me by my tutors when the door opened without warning._

"_Umm . . . are you hungry or anything?" He scratched at the back of his head, eying the books strewn about the floor, "You better not leave this place a mess. I dismissed the housekeepers until my father comes home." He leaned against the doorframe. He was definitely taller than Gozaburo._

_I looked up at him from my place on the floor and then went back to my textbook._

"_When I ask you a question, I expect an answer . . . or something like that."_

_What? Just now . . ._

"_So are you hungry or not? And answer with words. Silent people annoy me."_

"_Yes." Had I really sounded so . . . dead?_

_He smiled that perfect smile, "Alright then, let's go to the kitchen, Seto."_

"Seto!"

I jumped a little in my seat as Mokuba slammed both of his hands down on my desk with a loud thud.

"What do you want, Mokuba? Can't you see that I'm busy?"

He folded his arms, "Tch, yeah Seto, you looked reaaaaaaaaaaally busy staring off into space."

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, "What do you want?"

"I'm bored."

"I told you to bring things to entertain yourself." Honestly, how old is he?

"Well I would be **way** more entertained if I had my **cell phone** to text my friends with, but **someone** made me give it away." He glared at me, tapping his foot.

I pulled out my own cell phone. I have the phone numbers of several of his friends just in case I can't reach him for whatever reason. "Here. If Katsuya calls, you had better give it to me **immediately**, do you understand?"

"Woohoo!" Mokuba snatched the phone away and ran back to the couch, practically throwing himself onto it. It wasn't long before the sound of his music carried over to my desk once more.

I need to focus.

I checked the GPS one more time to see that Katsuya was still at the Kitamori house before I minimized that windowed and continued sorting through and responding to the emails that had piled up. Honestly, was there an end to them? Perhaps I should hire someone to screen emails just like my calls are screened.

Without so much as a knock a disgruntled-looking man burst into my office, stomping over to my desk. Even Mokuba leaned up to look at the man with wide, confused eyes.

"Finally you're here!" He stopped in front of my desk, straightening his tie and clearing his throat.

"And you are . . . ?" He didn't look like one of my employees. I don't recall making any appointments to see people either.

"I'm terribly sorry for rushing in like that, sir, but I've been trying to reach you for several days now and it seems that we always ended up missing each other so when I heard that you were finally in-"

"Cut to the chase. Can't you see that I'm busy?" Why wasn't I notified that someone had been trying to reach me? The desk secretary is getting slack.

"Ah, right. My name is Yukuhiro Ken. I do marketing for Muramura Co. and was asked to visit you with a business proposal." The man smiled, pulling out the portfolio that he had tucked underneath his arm.

I couldn't help but raise a brow. "Muramura Co.?" I felt stupid just saying it. I've never heard of such a company.

"Yes, Mr. Kaiba. Muramura Company is a company specializing in plastic toys for children. We would like to get your permission to make toy versions of your company's products so that children too young to use the devices can still enjoy the game. It would also help your company when the hearts of children at a young age so that they will become loyal customers in the future!" He said this with a grin as if he was so proud of himself for saying something so generic.

"Not interested."

"But sir-"

"But nothing. Please leave. I don't have time for silly proposals like that. I'm not going to cheapen my product by turning it into a fad for small children."

"Won't you even take a second to at least look at-"

"No, I won't."

"Please, sir, you really ought to-"

"Hey guy!" Mokuba slipped from his place on the couch, his music player and headphones clenched in one hand, "Don't you get it? The CEO says no, so that means **no**."

No means no . . .

"Little kids don't belong in big business."

"_Little kids don't belong in big business."_

"_I'm not a child . . ."_

"_You're fourteen. You're still a child."_

"Get out."

"Mr. Kaiba, please!"

I stood from my chair and slammed my hands down on my desk loud enough to startle Mokuba and the man both, "Get. Out."

"Y-yes sir . . ." He tucked his portfolio back under his arm and spun on his heels, high-stepping it out of my office.

"Geeeeeeeez Seto! It's not often that you lose your cool around people like that! Did he give you a weird look or something?" Mokuba went cross-eyed for a moment before laughing.

"No, I just . . . I'm busy and he annoyed me."

"_No means no! They have no right to treat you that way!"_

Then why?

"_No, Saki! Please stop!"_

No means no. Why didn't you stop?

"Whatever you say, Seto." He stared at me with those large violet eyes of his before going back to the couch without another word. As the sound of his music started up again I lay my head down on my desk.

I can't focus on work, not when I know where Katsuya is. I can't focus on the emails, I can't focus on my reports, I can't even focus on business proposals.

I don't like that he's at Saki's house. Something isn't right with Saki.

Something isn't right.

**

* * *

**

**Hope you liked it! Sorry for the wait!**


End file.
